I am 79 years old and very recently widowed after 52 years of marriage. A long time friend who can barely walk recently made a move on me. I also thought "how did I not see this coming?" When I told another long-time friend who knows the guy she said "I wondered about that." I understand the feeling of questioning yourself after a weird event. I'm too old to be so innocent and dumb. I get Stormy's bewilderment.
I get it too. I suspect that most women have undergone something similar and have found themselves wondering if they did something to cause it. That is bullshit and women must stop denigrating themselves. There are times when I really hate most men.
Gawd ЁЯдм. So sorry that happened to you. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! HE, not you, is 100 percent to blame. It's not on you to blame yourself for "not seeing this coming". ЁЯТУ
By stop blaming women. Most of us GenXers were told that if we got ourselves in this situation, it was our own fault. That it was better to agree to sex and pretend to enjoy it than to fight. And then that made it consensual, never mind the coercive elements and sleaziness of it, or whether you would have consented had you known that he wasn't going to use a condom.
I think we're doing a little better now in identifying these sleazeballs, but even a decade ago, this approach was commonplace. Never mind all the things that men do in order to get ahead, but when women use one of the only tools at their disposal that men allow them to use, we blame them and not the man trying to manipulate the situation and coerce someone into having sex with them.
I'm 74 years old and the women of my generation were told the same bullshit. Second-wave feminism fought back against women being held responsible for men assaulting us, but apparently the same nonsense is still being peddled by too many men (and women).
Absolutely. In 2024, women are still the ones on trial in rape cases. It's always her fault, unless she's a virgin cloistered nun that fought back and was beaten to within an inch of her life. When will we make men responsible for their behavior? Never it seems.
I'm 74 and have been in a constant state of rage since I was about 14. I'm really tired. I've known so few men who genuinely liked, admired, and respected women, and I never thought I would be spending my "golden years" even angrier than I was in the 60s.
Totally understand. At 70 I really thought that by now women would have achieved equality here. Instead the GOP and the zealots want to turn the clock backwards, somewhere between the civil war and Eisenhower.
The rape kits being ignored, allowing rapists to continue harming us really gets me furious.
This will continue as long as society sees women as property. The right would like nothing better than to make our second-class status permanent and punish us for having the temerity to want equality. As we all know, rape is about power and control.
Wow. IтАЩm so sorry to read that that was the message you and others received back then. ItтАЩs so wrong. Always, always, always, fight back and scream. Never give up your power.
Entirely too many women are complicit in their own degradation, and it has to stop. Wish I knew how to do that.
I am 79 years old and very recently widowed after 52 years of marriage. A long time friend who can barely walk recently made a move on me. I also thought "how did I not see this coming?" When I told another long-time friend who knows the guy she said "I wondered about that." I understand the feeling of questioning yourself after a weird event. I'm too old to be so innocent and dumb. I get Stormy's bewilderment.
I get it too. I suspect that most women have undergone something similar and have found themselves wondering if they did something to cause it. That is bullshit and women must stop denigrating themselves. There are times when I really hate most men.
Ah, yes, the old "she was asking for it" trope. Never ends, does it?
Gawd ЁЯдм. So sorry that happened to you. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! HE, not you, is 100 percent to blame. It's not on you to blame yourself for "not seeing this coming". ЁЯТУ
IтАЩm sorry that happened to you. ЁЯМ╖
Yep. IтАЩve walked in her heels as well. In a couple of instances looking back, was damn lucky to have come through the situation all in one piece.
By stop blaming women. Most of us GenXers were told that if we got ourselves in this situation, it was our own fault. That it was better to agree to sex and pretend to enjoy it than to fight. And then that made it consensual, never mind the coercive elements and sleaziness of it, or whether you would have consented had you known that he wasn't going to use a condom.
I think we're doing a little better now in identifying these sleazeballs, but even a decade ago, this approach was commonplace. Never mind all the things that men do in order to get ahead, but when women use one of the only tools at their disposal that men allow them to use, we blame them and not the man trying to manipulate the situation and coerce someone into having sex with them.
I'm 74 years old and the women of my generation were told the same bullshit. Second-wave feminism fought back against women being held responsible for men assaulting us, but apparently the same nonsense is still being peddled by too many men (and women).
Absolutely. In 2024, women are still the ones on trial in rape cases. It's always her fault, unless she's a virgin cloistered nun that fought back and was beaten to within an inch of her life. When will we make men responsible for their behavior? Never it seems.
Never, as long as men hold power and are determined to do whatever it takes to keep it. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by how much so many men hate women.
They hate themselves and project it onto women and others.
Not to mention the piles of thousands of rape kits moldering away that remain untested. Cause who cares? It's the woman's fault.
We need to find a way to harness women's rage to make real change, because damn it, I'm fucking furious and sick of this shit.
As am I, Linda. Really pissed to the max!
I'm 74 and have been in a constant state of rage since I was about 14. I'm really tired. I've known so few men who genuinely liked, admired, and respected women, and I never thought I would be spending my "golden years" even angrier than I was in the 60s.
Totally understand. At 70 I really thought that by now women would have achieved equality here. Instead the GOP and the zealots want to turn the clock backwards, somewhere between the civil war and Eisenhower.
The rape kits being ignored, allowing rapists to continue harming us really gets me furious.
This will continue as long as society sees women as property. The right would like nothing better than to make our second-class status permanent and punish us for having the temerity to want equality. As we all know, rape is about power and control.
Wow. IтАЩm so sorry to read that that was the message you and others received back then. ItтАЩs so wrong. Always, always, always, fight back and scream. Never give up your power.
IтАЩm guessing you now that now. ЁЯМ╖