Donald Trump is a gibbering lunatic and JD Vance is a ginormous shitball

batteries and sharks and cymbal-crashing monkeys, oh my

hey friends — yesterday morning at 9:30am, Ms. Spouse and I stepped onto a plane at San Francisco International Airport. this morning at 10:30am, we stepped off a plane at Westchester County Airport in New York. what happened during the 27 hours in between was a twenty-megaton clusterfuck of delayed departures, malfunctioning planes, canceled flights and missed connections. this morning’s flight had no coffee, I couldn’t get any work done because the wifi kept dropping out and — to cap it all off — OUR FUCKING BAGGAGE ENDED UP IN NORTH CAROLINA.

but we’re home now and I’m going to write something. here are a couple of quick hits.

convicted felon Little Donny Fuckface held a hate-rally yesterday — and at some point, the the monkey in Donny’s head started crashing the cymbals together a little too loudly, because check out the incoherent word salad that spilled forth from Donny’s rancid anus-mouth.

“it must because of MIT, my relationship to MIT, very smart, he goes, I say, what would happen if the boat sank from its weight, and you’re in the boat, and you have this tremendously powerful battery, and the battery’s now under water, and there’s a shark that’s approximately 10 yards over there — by the way, a lot of shark attacks lately, do you notice that? lotta shark attacks — I watched some guys justifying it today, ‘well they weren’t really that angry, they bit off the young lady’s leg because of the fact that they were, they were … not hungry but they misunderstood who she was.’ these people are crazy. he said, ‘there’s no problem with sharks, they just didn’t really understand a young woman swimming,’ no, really got decimated and other people too, a lot of shark attacks. so I said, ‘there’s a shark 10 yards away from the boat, 10 yards, or here. do I get electrocuted if the boat is sinking, water goes over the battery, the boat is sinking? do I stay on top of the boat and get electrocuted or do I jump over by the shark and not get electrocuted, because I will tell you, he didn’t know the answer. he said, ‘you know, nobody’s ever asked me that question.’ I said, ‘I think it’s a good question. I think there’s a lot of electric current coming through that water.’ but you know what I’d do if there was a shark or you get electrocuted? I’ll take electrocution every single time. I’m not getting near the shark. so we’re going to end that, we’re going to end it for boats, we’re going to end it for trucks.”

holy. shit. what the fuck was that? folks, Donny’s brain has gone bye-bye. what is he gibbering about? he heard “some guys” talking about a shark attack? where, on TV? was Donny watching a show about shark attacks? then who did he pose his hypothetical “would you rather” to? the guys on TV? is Donny talking to his TV now? is the TV talking back?

and this guy wants to be given a second chance to steal more nuclear launch codes? fuck no.

seriously, if your own grandfather start babbling like this about sharks and batteries, you’d be googling for a good assisted living facility — one with a world-class memory care center.

now get this: according to Trump biographer Michael Wolff, Donny’s public speeches are his relatively lucid moments.

When he’s not performing, Wolff said, Trump is totally incoherent.

my god.

it really says something about the power of self-delusion that Trump’s cultists can listen to the gibbering of this blithering madman and come away thinking “yeah, this is God’s own Avatar on Earth.”

Donny continues to deteriorate. already Fox News and Dr. Phil are having to air heavily-edited pre-taped interviews in order to make Donny appear less batshit than he is.

how much longer can Trump’s handlers hide his rapidly-advancing dementia? it’s just seventeen days to the first Biden-Trump debate, assuming it actually takes place.

America is going to run out of microwaved popcorn.

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if you asked me, “would you rather listen to JD Vance talk, or be electrocuted by a shark,” I’d be all drop me in the water, boys — because JD Vance sucks all ass.

“here’s the crazy thing, Maria. ask the Greatest Generation what they feel about wide open borders. ask the Greatest Generation what they feel about sex changes for minors. the fact that Joe Biden is covering himself in glory of the very people who fought for something that he’s trying to destroy is disgraceful.”

fuck all the way off, JD.

the Greatest Generation defeated the Nazis. let’s ask the Greatest Generation how they feel about having to fight Nazis all over again.

as I wrote yesterday, Joe Biden’s trip to France has broken every Republican brain. Joe’s knocking it out of the park, making speeches, hugging veterans, and visiting cemeteries — while convicted felon Donald Trump is being forced to get acquainted with his new parole officer.

and so worthless piss-bags like JD Vance are going on Fox News to whine about their new favorite boogeyman: young children being given “sex changes” — which is definitely a thing that is not happening anywhere in the USA.

just like the mythical “post-birth abortion,” it’s just another vile scare story being peddled by Republicans in order to rile up the rubes and keep them distracted — so they don’t notice the plutocrats picking their pockets.