Donald Trump infuriates another judge, because he’s a fucking idiot

remind me how being an asshole in court has worked out for Donny in the past

ok, let’s get the unpleasant shit out of the way first. it gets better, I promise.

once again, Little Donny Luckyfuck — the guy who never ever shuts his anus-mouth about how unfairly he’s always being treated — got super special kid-glove treatment that’s afforded to absolutely no one else.

just as we all had visions of padlocked golf motels dancing in our heads, down swoops a New York appeals court at the very last minute to pat Wee Donny on the head and go there there, little criminal, no one’s taking Motel-a-Lago, because we’re knocking your half-billion-dollar appeal bond down to $175 million — and we’re giving you ten more days to raise it.

what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck?

no, seriously: what the small-batch artisanal fuck? legal experts were dumbfounded. nobody could even begin explain it. there was no reasoning behind the decision — it just a pure favor to Trump.

Donald Trump has a private jet. Donald Trump lives in private clubs. Donald Trump assembled a private militia to attack the Capitol. Now he gets his own private system of justice — available to him alone. NO ONE ELSE would get the special treatment he gets. NO ONE should.

so here we are, once again, left to stand around and go what the fuck just happened? — while Donny dusts himself off and walks away seemingly unscathed.

and yet, Trump continues to whine about how unfair it all is.

unfair? absolutely. unfuckingfair for the rest of us.

sigh. now let’s try to get down off the ledge, because it’s not all bad news. here’s the indispensable Mary Trump to explain why:

Donald’s attorneys originally asked Justice Anil C. Singh to allow him to post a $100 million bond. Singh denied the request, although that decision was temporary until the full panel weighed in. Now the bond is almost double what Donald asked to pay.

It’s true that paying a lesser amount is a victory for Donald. Had it been all or nothing at $464 million, AG Letitia James would have started to seize his property immediately. But there are plenty of reasons for the AG’s office to feel encouraged:

As George Conway explained: “the State of New York is guaranteed the ability to collect at least” $175 million “without having to send lawyers around the country chasing Trump’s assets down, which would be a time-consuming, costly, and difficult process … Put more simply, the State of NY is better off having $175 million of the judgment secured than having none of it secured.” They can then seize properties to get the rest if need be.

“The $464 million judgment — plus interest — against Donald Trump and the other defendants still stands,” [Letitia James] said through a spokesperson.

That’s right. Donald still owes penalties amounting to nearly half a billion dollars (plus the interest that is still accruing) – and while he has to pay a smaller amount for the bond while he appeals, the nightmare of that massive penalty will still be waiting for him on the other side of the appeal should he lose. According to Taub, Letitia James’ case is strong enough to survive appeal:

“I don’t think the verdicts will be overturned [on appeal],” Taub told me. “I think it’s a clear violation of the executive law. There’s no question that both Donald Trump, his two oldest sons, and those executives and the other entities violated the law.”

bottom line: Trump is still on the hook for half a billion dollars.

thank you, Mary, we all needed that.

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now let’s get to the good shit: the Big Trump Hush Money Election Interference Fuckery Trial is back on in New York — and the judge for that case, Juan Merchan, is already pissed off at Donny.

remember when Trump spun that sob story of having the DOJ dump a hundred skillionty documents in his lap at the last minute and therefore the trial had to be delayed until how about never?

we were all pulling our hair out in frustration until it finally dawned on us that this was another Trump con job, and almost none of what he was selling was true. well, it dawned on the judge, too, and he was not amused about having his time wasted.

yesterday in court, when Donny’s lawyers started in with their whole this is so unfair palaver, Judge Merchan quickly slapped them a writ of shut your fucking face.

“Why didn’t you bring any of this to my attention? Why didn’t you tell the court or anyone in the courtroom at that time that you had made this request, that it was taking a little longer than you expected?” Merchan asked. “So how come you didn’t bring them up?”

and I fucking love this bit:

Merchan grew “uncharacteristically furious” during the hearing.

“uncharacteristically furious” — yep, Donny and his ace team of parking garage lawyers have a tendency to elicit that response.

“That you don’t have a case right now is really disconcerting,” he told Trump’s lawyers. “You are literally accusing the Manhattan DA’s office and the people assigned to this case of prosecutorial misconduct,” he added, arguing that Trump’s lawyers did not provide a single example to back up their allegation.

so now we have a firm trial date — April 15 — and Judge Marchan is already predisposed to offer no favors to Trump.

“don’t piss off the judge” is a lesson that Donny keeps refusing to learn, and it’s cost him dearly in the past.

in the second E. Jean Carroll trial, Trump couldn’t go one minute on the witness stand without breaking Judge Kaplan’s orders about what he couldn’t say. remind me, how did that work out for Donny? oh yeah, an 83.8 million dollar judgement against him.

in the Big Trump Family Business Fraud Fuckery Trial, Donny was a toxic sump pit of shitty behavior — sighing, moaning, muttering, throwing his hands in the air, and often barging out of the courtroom to whine to reporters about how unfairly he was being treated by Judge Engoron. and how did that work out for Trump? oh yeah — that pesky little judgement that — despite the lowered appeal bond — still stands at, as of 10:20 this morning:

$468,244,315.04 and climbing.

so in three weeks we will have Donny Fuckface’s first criminal trial — and he’s already irritated the fuck out of Judge Merchan.

keep it up, dipshit. you’re doing just fine. no notes.