Donald Trump has earned his third indictment. fucking around meets finding out

indictment season shifts into overdrive

losing an election and fucking off back to where you came from is a tradition as American as apple pie.

you give it your best shot, you lose, you go home and lick your wounds, and you try to learn something from it all.

but not Donald Trump. because Donny is a malignant narcissist and big fucking baby whose tyrant Klansman father taught him that graciously accepting defeat is a game for suckers.

Trump lost his election and it broke his brain. fucking off and going home was never going to be an option.

and so Donald Trump did everything he could to cling to power. he plotted and schemed. he lied. he made phone calls. he begged. be bullied. he wheedled.

when all else failed, he sent an armed mob to the Capitol to disrupt the certification of the election he lost.

and now he’s in deep fucking shit and he has no one to blame but himself.

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yesterday, Jack Smith, the Man Who Convicts War Criminals in The Hague, handed Donald Trump his third criminal indictment.

“Despite having lost, the defendant was determined to remain in power. So for more than two months following election day on November 3, 2020, the Defendant spread lies that there had been outcome-determinative fraud in the election and that he had actually won.”

let’s have a look at the four counts.

COUNT ONE: Title 18 USC 371: Conspiracy to Defraud the United States.

this count covers everything Trump did in his attempt to overturn the election: the fraudulent elector scheme, bullying Mike Pence to reject the certification, and sending that crowd, with their improvised weapons and that noose, to overrun the Capitol.

COUNT TWO: 1512(k) Obstructing an Official Proceeding: By conspiring to obstruct the electoral count on January 6.

this count covers the conspiracy to send that armed mob to the Capitol.

COUNT THREE: 1512(c)(2): Obstructing an official proceeding

this count covers the actual disruption of the electoral certification.

COUNT FOUR: 18 USC 241: Conspiracy against rights

this count covers the conspiracy to deny American citizens the right to have their votes counted.

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now, two of those counts mention a conspiracy, and of course you can’t have a conspiracy without co-conspirators. the indictment lists but does not name six co-conspirators. based on the descriptions of their crimes, it’s pretty easy to figure out who most of them are:

Co-conspirator 1, described as "an attorney who was willing to spread knowingly false claims and pursue strategies that the Defendant's 2020 re-election campaign would not", appears to be Rudy Guiliani, his lawyer said in a statement.

The details for co-conspirator 2 match what is known about lawyer John Eastman. His lawyer Charles Burnham said in a statement that the indictment used a "misleading presentation of the record to contrive criminal charges against Presidential candidate Trump and to cast ominous aspersions on his close advisors".

Co-conspirators 3, 4 and 5 are reported in US media as being former Trump lawyer Sidney Powell, former Justice Department official Jeffrey Clark and lawyer Kenneth Chesebro, but so far none of them has made any comments.

The sixth co-conspirator, described in the indictment as a political consultant, has not been identified.

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Donald Trump, you corroded old douchebag, you brought this on yourself. you could have fucked off back to your tacky Florida golf motel and lived the rest of your life in luxury. you could have continued to cheat at golf. you could have still kept your face on TV. you could have even kept on whining about how unfair it all is and grifted off your gullible worshipers till the cows came home.

all that is gone now.

the remainder of your miserable life will be spent in a deepening legal hell of your own creation.

consequences, it’s what’s for breakfast.