Donald Trump got indicted in Georgia and Republicans completely lost their shit

let us now take a look at their entirely calm and rational reactions

it’s time to do another wellness check on our pals on the right and see how they’re coping.

shouty half-dressed degenerate wrestling coach Jim Jordan set the tone for the day with the by-now-familiar Republican trope of are crimes even crimes?

Gymmy’s gaslighting here, by picking out individual pieces of a massive conspiracy and pretending each item, taken out of context, is the crime itself.

(to be fair, not seeing obvious crimes that are happening right in front of him is kind of Jim Jordan’s thing.)

nonetheless, the entire wingnut rank and file picked up the ball and ran with it.

---

I think Charlie Kirk is on to something here.

I didn’t know this was our plan, but I’m liking it very much. please tell me more.

---

co-conspirator Jenna Ellis is going to leave her fate in the hands of God.

which is so fucking dumb, because everyone know that all the best lawyers are in hell.

---

Kayleigh McEnany is HELLA MAD!!! because the email lady went on Rachel Maddow’s show and laughed her head off about Little Donny Fuckface getting indicted.

it’s called schadenfreude, K-Mac. google it. and if you think we’re all laughing now, just wait until Donny’s mug shots get released to the public.

---

Kimberley Gargoyle went on Newsmax to brag that Trump has commited more crimes than John Gotti, though I don’t think that’s the message she intended to convey.

“John Gotti never even had four indictments at once.”

hey, I just think we landed on a new campaign slogan for Donald.

---

Congresswoman Sporkfuck has the sads.

this is the same ninny who shits a massive brick every time some athlete kneels during the National Anthem.

---

John Cardillo never thought the leopards would eat Jenna Ellis’s face.

it never ceases to be super fucking amusing to watch it slowly dawn on these dipshits that Dear Leader doesn’t give a fuck about them and will turn his back on them in a second, no matter how loyal they’ve been to him.

---

armchair warrior podcast bro is calling for CiViL wAr

spoiler alert: armchair warrior podcast bro won’t be civil warring any time soon.

---

as for Little Donny Mob Boss, he’s promising that on Monday, two years and nine months after getting soundly shellacked by Joe Biden, he’s going to hold a news conference where he will finally show us proof of election fraud in Georgia.

sure, Donny. where have you been hiding this “proof” all this time, and why did you wait until now to show us your “Large, Complex, Detailed but Irrefutable REPORT”?

but it looks like Georgia Governor Brian Kemp has finally had enough of Trump’s bullshit.

---

but at least the New York Times isn’t committing any journalism crimes, are they?

I mean, they’re not doing any stupid things like telling us that we should be bored by all the indictments, are they?

oh, please tell us they’re not doing th—

oh fucking hell.

I mean, why deal with some boring old Trump indictment when you can be putting FIVE Hunter Biden stories on your front page?

what the fuck, New York Times?

it’s but her emails all over again.

---

let’s leave on a high note. here’s former Lt. Governor of Georgia Geoff Duncan, the one Republican in all this who gets it.

“if we make the next two years about Trump, it's gonna be a three-ring circus and we’ll lose. and the only place we’re gonna be able to make our campaign speeches as Republicans is gonna be courthouse steps, because it looks like every Republican that hung out with Trump is gonna get an indictment.”

truer words. too bad none of Duncan’s wingnut colleagues are listening.