DNC day two: Donald Trump has a sad little tiny one
and the worthless media can fuck straight off all over again
it’s only day two of the Democratic National Convention — Kamala has yet to give her acceptance speech — but until she does, we have the defining image of the convention.
check out the perfect comic timing of one Barack Hussein Obama.
“this weird obsession with crowd sizes.”
it’s so true — Donny has a sad tiny one.
more on Barack Hussein Obama’s speech at the DNC later. right now, we need to discuss the latest in journalistic fuckery: the pissy, spiteful quote-unquote “fact check.”
“‘Donald Trump says he will refuse to accept the election result if he loses again,’ Biden said. But that’s not true. Trump just hasn’t said that he would accept. And he has previously said the only way he loses is if the Democrats cheat.”
well, that certainly clears it up. thank you so much, Washington Post, for your technically accurate yet completely useless ‘fact check’ of Joe Biden’s rhetorical turn of phrase.
oh look, The New York Times is playing this game, too.
“This lacks evidence. While Mr. Trump's exact net worth is unknown, Forbes and Bloomberg estimate that he is currently a billionaire.”
I’m so glad to know that someone is tirelessly covering the all-important how much money does Donny actually have beat.
now gaze in awe as Politifact takes this hair-splitting bullshit to the next level.
“A DNC video showed a 2016 clip of Trump saying ‘there has to be some form of punishment’ for women who have abortions. He walked back the comment the same day. We found no evidence that he currently supports legal penalties for women who have abortions.”
got that? Donny said it, but he didn’t mean it. he had his fingers crossed behind his back.
what is the press even doing here? it’s one thing to check insignificant facts — there’s at least a shred of journalistic integrity there. but why cover for Donny and attempt to explain away all the horrible shit that oozes out of his mouth?
you know why the worthless scribblers of the corporate-controlled press are doing this, right? so they can both-sides the fuck out of the nomination conventions.
see? both sides lie. they’re equally bad.
hey media, you want to fact-check something? how about this: some tired old man held a campaign event in a parking garage yesterday. his audience was a handful of bored-looking policemen. take in this mumbled bit of low-energy what the fuck.
“you can’t walk across the street to get a loaf of bread. you get shot. you get mugged. you get raped. you get whatever it may be. and you’ve seen it and I’ve seen it.”
what street is Donny talking about where he’s seen all this raping and shooting going on? is it Ocean Boulevard, the thoroughfare Donny’s golf motel is on? is there a bakery across the street from Motel-a-Lago? is Walt Nauta risking life and limb just to fetch hamburger buns for Dear Leader?
is Donny speaking from personal experience? because you know what’s across the street from Trump Tower in Manhattan, don’t you — Bergdorf Goodman, where adjudicated rapist Donny sexually assaulted E. Jean Carroll in a dressing room.
David Limbaugh — Rush’s little brother — has worked himself up into a great big ball of hissy because Joe Biden has failed to respect Dear Leader’s shot-all-to-fuck-and-magically-regenerated ear.
“This is seriously dangerous rhetoric. Listen Joe, President Trump was just shot a few weeks ago. Have you no decency? Have you no shame?”
yo, Dave — get over it.
Nosferatu McGoebbels is similarly outraged.
“It is so deeply unsettling and disturbing that no Democrat speaker convention mentioned the shooting and near-assassination of President Trump. No expression of humanity or sympathy whatsoever. No words to the victims’ families. Will Kamala memory-hole the assassination as well?”
Stephen Miller can fuck all the way off. Miller was the architect of Donny’s let’s rip babies from the arms of their migrant mothers and disappear them into concentration camp — and then let’s lose the paperwork so their parents never find them again plan. he has a lot of goddamned gall talking about humanity and sympathy.
fuck you, Nosferatu. the sun is shining, shouldn’t you be hiding in your coffin right now?
hey, New York Magazine, what the fuck is this?
you know what someone from Minnesota would say about this bit of mean-spiritedness tarted up as a back-handed compliment?
bless your heart, New York Magazine.
last night, while the DNC was going on in Chicago, Kamala and Tim were doing their own bit of in-your-facery at a rally at the Fiserv Forum in Milwaukee, Wisconsin — the very site where the GOP had held their convention.
that’s right: the Democrats packed two arenas at once — just to show off that they can.
check out Tim Walz. the guy is fucking pumped.
“no only do we have massive energy at our convention, we have a hell of a lot more energy where they had their convention. right here. this! yeah! [laughs] that one guy’s gonna be so sad tonight. so sad. [accordion hands] so sad.”
where has this dude been hiding? Minnesota, you’ve been holding out on us.
did you see that, Donny? Kamala and Tim filled two arenas yesterday. two.
meanwhile, here’s what you’ve been reduced to: pathetically sleep-speaking, forlorn and forgotten, in some small-town parking garage.
oof. so sad for you, fuck-o.
last night’s featured speakers at the DNC were Michelle and Barack Obama.
here’s a bit from Michelle’s speech.
“we know what comes next. we know folks are going to do everything they can to distort her truth. my husband and I sadly know a little something about this. for years, Donald Trump did everything in his power to try to make people fear us. his limited, narrow view of the world made him feel threatened by the existence of two hard-working, highly-educated, successful people who happen to be Black. I want to know: who’s gonna tell him that the job he’s currently seeking might be one of those Black jobs?”
and here’s a bit from Barack’s.
“here’s a 78-year-old billionaire who has not stopped whining about HIS problems, since he rode down his golden escalator nine years ago. it has been a constant stream of gripes and grievances that’s actually been getting worse now that he’s afraid of losing to Kamala. there’s the childish nicknames, the crazy conspiracy theories. this weird obsession with crowd sizes. if just goes on and on and on.”
it was one month ago today — July 21, 2024 — that Joe Biden withdrew from the presidential race and endorsed Kamala Harris.
isn’t it amazing how much the world can change in one month?
forward!
it's been quite a month, hasn't it?
I especially love BMO's little look of mock horror: Oh, dear me, did I do THAT with my hands?!" It went by in a split second, but it makes the whole gag.