DNC day three: let’s revisit the times Kamala made Republicans cry

Senator Harris has a few questions

when Kamala Harris was a Senator from California, she had a thing she specialized in: making Republicans melt down into a big puddle of sad.

as a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee, she thoroughly humiliated Trumpist fuckwads like Bill Barr and Brett Kavanaugh and Jeff Sessions by refusing to accept any of their mealy-mouthed bullshit for an answer.

Team Kamala put together a supercut of these delightful moments and played it yesterday during the convention. here, enjoy.

my favorite moment is Jeff Sessions’ deer-in-the-headlights look as he blurts out that Kamala “makes me nervous.”

it’s a damned shame that Senator Kamala never had CNN host Jake Tapper in her crosshairs, because here’s a question she could have asked him: what the fuck is wrong with you?

yesterday, Tapper wasted a full eight minutes and fifty-six seconds of America’s time by inviting Couchfuck McGee onto his show and giving him free rein to lie about Kamala and the Democrats — without asking a single followup question.

what’s the point? Couchfuck already has numerous outlets where he can molest the truth as if it were a sofa: Fox News. Newsmax. CNN doesn’t need to give this unpleasant prevaricator any more free air time.

I’d like to know where Jake Tapper got the idea that a journalist’s job is to sit there like a fucking lump and then thank his interview subject for lying right to his face.

Tapper is the same tool who allowed Donny Convict to lie about the fantasy of ‘post-birth abortion’ during the debate. Tapper should have responded with what the fuck are you gibbering about, you bloviating loon — but he didn’t do any of that shit. here’s what Tapper did say: nothing.

worthless.

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here’s a question that Senator Kamala could have asked Donny Convict: do you need a ride back to the assisted living facility?

“if these people win, you’re not going to have any meetings, you’re not gonna have anything.”

that was Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants, free-associating in front of another sparsely-attended hate rally.

I’m going to need to know more about Komrade Kamala’s and Tampon Tim’s no-meetings agenda, because I’ve been in a lot of meetings that were a complete waste of time. “no meetings” sounds pretty fucking awesome.

here’s brilliant military strategist Donny taking credit for night goggles.

“we had goggles, brand-new right out-of-the-box. they didn't fight at night because they didn't have goggles right? they never had goggles. now they have brand-new goggles.”

fact check: the army has been providing its infantry with night-vision goggles since the Vietnam War.

here’s one thing that troubles me. Donny keeps telling the cultists that he doesn’t need them to vote.

“our primary focus is not to get out the vote. it’s to make sure they don’t cheat. because we have all the votes we need.”

clearly, Donny intends to steal the election after he loses in November. it’s why Team Kamala has hired a massive number of lawyers to deal with the inevitable post-election shit-show.

According to a new New York Times report, the campaign now has a legal team of hundreds of staff-attorneys and thousands of volunteer attorneys to combat expected challenges from Republicans this election cycle, including possibly the results of the 2024 election. 

One of the attorneys the campaign added is Marc Elias, who will be joining the team to specifically focus on possible recount efforts.

but it’s still reckless to tell one’s base their vote isn’t needed. it’s a lot harder to steal an election if you get buried in a landslide.

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here’s a thing Kamala could ask The New York Times: what the fuck is your problem?

the Great Lady is still up to their fact-check fuckery. in fact, we can’t even call what they’re doing “fact checks” — because it’s not. what they’re doing are fuct checks.

exhibit a:

“Donald Trump and JD Vance want to dismantle our health care system, repeal the Affordable Care Act and eliminate protections for pre-existing conditions.”

— Gov. Michelle Lujan Grisham of New Mexico

This is exaggerated.

Mr. Trump campaigned in 2016 on repealing and replacing the Affordable Care Act, but Republicans in Congress never succeeded.

NO, THIS IS NOT EXAGGERATED. Project 2025 calls for the outright elimination of Obamacare.

so, what’s the Times’ proof that Donny won’t kill it? this: a months-old post to his crappy app.

“I’m not running to terminate the ACA,” Mr. Trump wrote on social media in March

oh great. the Times is taking the word of a lying liar who lied over thirty thousand times during his presidency and hasn’t stopped.

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here’s a thing Kamala could ask Megyn Kelly: didn’t your parents teach you to not be a racist asshole?

hey Oprah — how dare you talk about racism and misogyny! you’re making privileged white woman Megyn Kelly uncomfortable by reminding her of America’s systemic injustices. why can’t you just sweep that shit under the rug?

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here’s what Kamala could ask chopped-foam pillow salesman Mike Lindell: aren’t you tired of getting outwitted by 12-year-old children?

Mike Lindell: [yells incoherently about ‘thirty thousand votes in Georgia.’]
Knowa: “so your source is ‘trust me, bro’?”

after owning the shit out of Mike Lindell, Knowa told a reporter, “he provided no facts, no sources.” the reporter’s response:

“Mike Lindell just got rolled by a 12-year-old.”

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now let’s enjoy a trio of clips from Wednesday night at the Democratic National Convention.

here’s Michigan’s Attorney General Dana Nessel.

“by the way, I got a message for the Republicans and the justices of the US Supreme Court: you can pry this wedding band from my cold, dead, gay hand.”

Mayor Pete!

“the existence of my family is just one example of something that was literally impossible as recently as 25 years ago, when an anxious teenager growing up in Indiana wondered if he’d ever find belonging in this world. this kind of life went from impossible to possible. from possible to real. from real to almost ordinary, in less than half a lifetime. but that didn’t just happen. it was brought about.”

here’s Tim Walz, from his acceptance speech.

“and when our daughter was born, we named her Hope. Hope, Gus, and Gwen, you are my entire world, and I love you.”

I’m not crying, you’re crying.