DNC day four: Kamala accepts and Fox News hangs up on a deranged Donny

while the Republican party teaches a master class in vile heartlessness

last night, Kamala Harris accepted the Democratic Party’s nomination to be the 47th President of the United States.

fuck, yeah — shoot this shit straight into my veins.

“my entire career, I’ve only had one client: the people — and so, on behalf of the people, on behalf of every American, regardless of party, race, gender, or the language a grandmother speaks, on behalf of my mother, and everyone who has ever set out on their own unlikely journey, on behalf of Americans like the people I grew up with — people who work hard, chase their dreams, and look out for one another — on behalf of everyone whose story could only be written in the greatest nation on earth, I accept your nomination to be President of the United States of America.”

while Kamala was speaking to America, somewhere inside a bedbug-infested golf motel, an endless series of diapers were being power-loaded.

Captain Crazypants has fucking lost it, folks. Donny was rage-posting faster than Kamala was speaking.

after Kamala’s speech was over, Donny phoned into Fox News so he could be talked down off the ledge by his emotional support hosts — but he was so rattled that he kept hitting the buttons on his phone.

“she’s gonna give a tax of four [beep] to five times [beep] what people and companies are paying right now.”

panicked Donny is my favorite Donny — but here’s the best part: after a few minutes of putting up with his incoherent ravings, the Fox hosts decided they’d had their fill of a frightened old man barking into their ears, and unceremoniously hustled Donny off the air.

Donny: “… they threw Joe Biden out of the party—”
Fox: “mister president, thank you so much for your time.”

Fox just did to Donny what the whole country is going to do to him in November.

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hey, remember how phenomenally terrible Ron DeSantis was at campaigning? remember the weird bobblehead shit?

remember how Ron was total crap at making a connection with voters?

“what’s your name?”
“Tim.”
“okay.”

remember how Ron would stand awkwardly, as if he were a lizard creature from outer space whose human skin suit didn’t fit properly?

well, we finally found someone even worse at pretending to be human: it’s good old Couchfuck McGee.

check out JD as he tries to do his hello, fellow people of Earth act at a donut shop in Georgia yesterday.

“I’m JD Vance, I’m running for vice president.”
worker: “okay.”

this weirdo’s idea of small talk is to ask everyone how long they’ve been working there. seriously, it’s his icebreaker with every worker in that shop.

JD is fundamentally unable to form a connection with other human beings. it’s no wonder he has to seek comfort in the arms of an overstuffed sofa.

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hey, you know who else is fundamentally incapable of making basic human connections? the entire fucking Republican party, that’s who.

remember how for eight solid years, the wingnuts have been telling us that it’s wrong to ever talk about Barron Trump? he’s just a child, we were scolded. don’t cross that line. the thing is, no one on the left ever actually criticized Barron. we just occasionally pointed out that he’s super fucking tall. noooo, cried the pearl-clutchers, he’s a child. off limits!

hypocrites, the whole vile of lot of them — because apparently he’s just a child doesn’t apply when it’s the child of a Democrat.

check out childless cat lady Ann Coulter’s lovely comment about Gus Walz’s emotional reaction to his father’s acceptance speech at the DNC.

fuck you, Ann. Gus isn’t just a child, he’s a neurodivergent child.

As a teen, he was diagnosed with nonverbal learning disorder, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and anxiety.

Ann deleted her tweet after the entire internet dogpiled her for being a heartless asshole — but she never apologized.

Dinesh D’ipshit’s tweet, on the other hand, is still up.

“mental problems” — nice. fuck straight off all the way back to prison, Dinesh.

here’s another profile in awfulness.

“puffy beta male” — who even talks like this? have all of these emotionally-stunted deviants been raised by wolves? apparently, the only tears that are acceptable for a child to shed are the fake kind that you shed when you’re trying to get out of being convicted for murder.

I suppose the only other tears that are acceptable to shed are the uncontrollable kind that well up in your eyes when you’re a big, strong man who goes up to Donny Convict to tell him sir! sir! no one has ever done all the amazing things you do.

the New York Times can fuck itself for good measure, too. apparently, they were raised by wolves as well — because they dismissed the outrage over the Republicans’ heartlessness as mere “partisan bickering.”

is this where we are as a country? basic human kindness is a partisan issue?

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ugh. I think we could all use a palate-cleanser right now. let’s go back to Kamala.

“in many ways Donald Trump is an unserious man, but the consequences of putting Donald Trump back in the White House are extremely serious. consider not only the chaos and calamity when he was in office, but also the gravity of what has happened since he lost the last election. Donald Trump tried to throw away your votes. when he failed, he sent an armed mob to the Capitol where they assaulted law enforcement officers.”

this is the choice: Kamala Harris and Tim Walz — two fundamentally decent people — vs heartless and dangerously crazy fascists.

we are not going back.