and of course, even as I was finishing this post, Donny was holding a press conference about all the even stupider ways he's going to fight the imaginary crime wave in DC
He's putting the DC cops under federal control. Is that even remotely legal? Who is going to stop him? Is he going to send homeless people to concentration camps? Hitler called homeless and disabled people "useless eaters" - is someone reading Mein Kampf to Donny again?
He is getting doughier-looking by the day. In fact, he really, really looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy, except the Pillsbury Doughboy's are bigger (and don't require outlining with eyeliner to try to prove he has eyes, however tiny).
He's certainly among the most useless of paid Federal employees. Which is something that condescending, smug asshole doesn't seem to get. But, boy howdy, he sure has extracted the maximum luxe vacation time from his invisible office, hasn't he?
The level of stupidity here is staggering. A lot of the homeless are disabled Veterans. He has already demoralized and honked off the FBI. Calling up the National Guard to patrol the streets of DC and do nothing is going to demoralize them... not to mention the unbudgeted cost. At what point are we going to get a break?
Agree. We've already arrived at the breaking point, and yet every day another fucked up story about how the government is terrorizing our country. Just read about an ICE raid in Pennsylvania, at a long standing family mexican restaurant, where they ransacked it, took all the food in the walk in coolers and arrested 16 of their workers. It's just so despicable.
I read things like this and watch clearly hard-worn migrants being kicked and tased unnecessarily and I swear to god I want to get a gun. I won’t, but the amount of cruelty (and glee about it by those doing the illegal roughing up) infuriates me. Because the wrong people are being punished. I despair that Trump will ever get a scintilla of the punishment he deserves. I heard on the radio (New Yorker Radio Hour) two law experts saying that there’s no way they’ll ever bring back the cases against Trump re. docs stealing and January 6. That they’ve essentially gone away.
agreed, but the thing is the mainstream media is losing traction at every chance they get to make this go away for their dear leader and savior, Donald Trump. It is the online (non- corporate media) that is keeping the Epstein saga alive.... wish it would go mainstream again but the the maga media owners dont want to upset their king.
Emiliano’s posted a video of inside the Richland Township location to its Facebook page after the raid, saying I.C.E. “stormed” their restaurants. You can read their full post below:
“What you saw on the news doesn’t tell the full story.
“On Wednesday, federal agents stormed our restaurants in a show of force that went far beyond anything reasonable or humane. They didn’t just detain people — they raided the heart of our business, tore through our spaces, and left behind a trail of fear, confusion, and destruction.
“At Emiliano’s, we’ve always been more than a restaurant. We’re a family — and like many restaurants in this country, we are built on the backs of immigrants. We will not apologize for that.
“We are standing by our team. We are working with legal experts and community partners to support the people impacted. And we will not stay silent while fear and intimidation tear through our community.
“We will reopen. We will rebuild. And we will keep feeding this city with love, dignity, and purpose.
“If you want to help, we’ll be sharing ways to support affected families and contribute to our recovery.
“Thank you for standing with us. — The Emiliano’s Family“
Despicable! I had not seen that. These have to be the [ardoned J6er's doing this sh*t! They are the ones looking for revenge. And they are the most hateful next to drumpf!
But, how are we, normal everyday people, going to stop him? Protests don't seem to be working; he'll just use them as an excuse to take over more cities. As long as I live, I''ll wish a POX on every one that voted for this mess.
We might get a break when that asshole dies - but even that isn’t guaranteed. He has too many like corrupt immoral unethical criminals running things for him,.
Trump does have a hotel in DC , it has plenty of rooms for the homeless veterans and other homeless people in our nation’s capital. Problem solved Linda!!
Don't get your hopes up. In my personal experience (homeless encampment three blocks away), you'll have to force the mentally ill homeless into those rooms. If they're homeless because they don't have money for rent, they will take those rooms. If they're like the ones left in Berkeley, they'd rather live in their tents on the streets. Berkeley has made available a big parking lot with showers and toilets for those with campers, and they had about three takers. We have a new building just opened a few weeks ago (with a social worker on site) and a large six or seven story building on a main street with lots of public transportation that the city leased. But no, you couldn't smoke inside. Newsflash, California hasn't allowed indoor smoking in schools, workplaces, and restaurants for decades. Yes, you have to smoke outside and if they've ever been employed they know that. But we still have "homeless" blocking our sidewalks and sometimes our streets with their tents. The most we can get is these people three weeks in a program to treat them and they're out again. You can't force people into mental health treatment or medications. (Thank you, ACLU.) Free meals are served in churches, and the state sends them a few hundred a month. I remember before Reagan closed the mental hospitals in our state. For not wanting to pay for those alone, he never should have been elected president. If you want a home and are on the streets you can get one here. They're homeless by choice. Oh, and two more things. The city bought and rented out a motel a few blocks up the street, with a social worker on site 24 hours a day. I think this is pretty full. Almost every time we drive by the encampment, we see a city social worker out talking to the homeless, trying to talk them into a safer place to live.
Yes, it did. I've lived here since 1961. He closed them about 1969, and they showed up by 1973. My mother, a children's librarian, started spending some of her time ushering the homeless out of the children's section into the adult section. Reagan was a terrible person and his wife was worse.
Having spent time in DC for years, coupled with a few social workers friends, your point is well taken LTBW! It’s appalling the way our veterans have been treated!!
I did not say anything about veterans. The ones I see do not appear do be veterans. The veterans are the responsibility of the federal government, as far as I am concerned.
In DC a large number of homeless were in the military. California homelessness is another story LTBW…the traitorous Reagan had a hand in that disaster.
The late Ivana Trump testified under oath in a deposition that T💩p kept a copy of Hitler's speeches in his nightstand. Probably the only book he's ever read.
Looking forward to reading your post tomorrow Jeff. It should be a doozy based on the drivel coming out of tRUMP’s anus mouth at his press conference this morning. He was trying so hard to convince America and the World that DC has gone to hell in a hand basket and is embarrassed to be meeting Putin in “Russia” because who knows why. He was incoherent to me at that point. Too bad the dumb fuck couldn’t have been this “strong” January 6th. But on the bright side, we’ve already forgotten about what’s his name? Jeffery, Jeff…shit I can’t remember 🤦♀️ Color me NOT stupid. Oh & Donald
And the ripples from the trial on federalizing the California National Guard and sending the military to perform civilian activities may impact what his merry band of cosplaying criminals can do in DC. That trial starts today.
One thing I'd like to see us do is destroy the media's incessant obsession with "crime" which is 95% of the reason people cower in fear of "crime." And one single incident causes morons like Couchfuck to talk about rampant crime waves. (Crime will never be zero anywhere.) Crime is down almost everywhere, but it's still higher in red states and small towns such as Urbana, Ohio, population 11,000. I know because I checked that. Reason: after Gymmie Jordan went on a rampage about dangerous big cities, I looked up the violent crime rate in his hometown — Urbana, Ohio.
The local Chicago TV stations all do the “if it bleeds, it leads” to some extent. Worst offender: ABC7. After they’re done with all the crimes they can shove into the first 10 minutes, it’s on to pimping anything and everything Disney.
ALL local stations do that — their formula is fire, shooting, fire, car crash, fire, cute dog story. (Fire is a great visual. I've long said that if a pile of tires was on fire in a vacant lot and the mayor was just charged with murder, the tires would lead.) Or in the winter, 30 minutes of "OMG it's going to snow! We're doomed!" Years ago, I saw a study that found people who watch local news greatly overestimate the crime rate.
Our neighbor's house caught fire many years ago and the TV cameraman covering the story shot a picture of the burned house with the cherry blossoms on our tree framing it. Seemed kinda weird to me.
I remember that study. Your formula is spot-on. In LA, it’s car chase, and the rest of the news is forgotten until the chase ends. Then it’s time for celebrity news, 30 seconds of sports, 1 minute of weather.
Unless it's going to snow and that's treated like it was nuclear war or something, taking up the entire newscast. Being from Chicago, I don't find this newsy at all.
👍🏼We’re in the “Chicagoland” area too - far NW suburbs about 50 miles from the loop. Not sure which one is worse. We don’t watch much local news. Our cable comes from WI which allows us to get Rockford stations which we watched for 10 years before moving back to McHenry County. By comparison, they seem like a breath of fresh air and a somewhat “simple”
Oh Man, I am completely stealing this! “the second — and more fun — fact is that the average homeless person on the streets of DC has thirty-four fewer felony convictions than the current president of the United States.”
Exactly--this is an attempt at distraction, with the added plan to work toward martial (or, as the GQP morons term it, "marshall") law in major blue cities.
We should all be referring to the DC occupation as The Epstein Deployment. Because that's what's behind it. Another "SQUIRREL!!!" to see if he can get the rubes to stop asking about his bestie Jeffie.
Yeah, I turned the shitshow conference off as Bondi was talking. Was afraid I’d upchuck my breakfast or tRUMP would push someone so hard they’d fall as he tried to get back to the podium because he was bored not hearing his grating voice rambling on and on and …..🥱🥱🥱
Brilliant, as always, Jeff. Your columns keep me laughing in the face of the increasingly Orwellian happenings in this country. Thank you. If we can laugh, we aren’t defeated yet.
If all the federal servants, national guard and military just said no and refused, there would be no one to arrest them or do anything he says. Oh, gee, you mean you can say no? Why aren't they saying no? What am I missing?
I saw this as performative, I need to distract from the Epstein files and try to throw some dog whistle tropes at my MAGA base so that they get to see him riling up Dems, and will feel like he is doing his job. On the other hand, when he says remove the homeless from DC to far away, I am assuming to Florida's ICE Swamp facility. That would be putting American citizens into ICE detention camp because he does not think anyone will be paying attention if they disappear or die.
Best reply is from the Mayor of DC. Best way to clear the streets of DC is for Trump to throw himself another birthday parade. Dug this out of Andy's report today:
“You want to see people clear out?” Muriel Bowser said to reporters. “Get a bunch of those squeaky old tanks rolling down the streets and you won’t see anyone for miles.”
I’m thinking that a good way to prevent more poverty and homelessness in the DC area would have been NOT to strip 30,000 federal workers of their livelihood But nobody asked me.
"United States President Cookedbooks McHushmoney" 🤣🤣
"release the Epstein Files, you fucking fucks, and let the chips fall where they may.
thank you for your attention to this matter." 😂👏👏👏👏👏
Just one dumb ass thing after the other. How I long for the days of non-eventful government. The Republican party must be destroyed into irrelevancy. Our collective mental health depends on it.
"President Cookedbooks McHushmoney" is on The List. Good one Jeff!
The Rethuglican party must go the way of its predecessor the Whigs. This is a party of jerkhole losers who can only win by cheating. It needs to be destroyed and the grounds of its greedy, perverted, criminal ideas salted so they remain dead for all eternity. They are incapable of evolving so they must go extinct.
The crime rate in D.C. may have taken a jump in 2025, starting in January 20, specifically in the area around 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. There's a large white building there that should be investigated.
After all the evil shit he most likely committed, all the time he spent with bestie Epstein, all the photos and video of him leering at jailbait, and he didn't know he was in the "files?" And he still opened his rancid trap relentlessly about releasing the info. What a fucking dipshit. Lucky for him MAGA has no reprehensible action that is too much for them
And I woke up at my usual (earlier than the sun) time, and wondered if there would be enough material to write about the DC takeover by Trump in the news today. It is so backwardly fucked up I can barely take a breath without inhaling the fumes of bullshit coming from east of my residence by 400 or so miles, emanating from the White House. It’s eye watering.
Jeff, I risk sounding sycophantic, but you are so good at skewering the ever-lovin’-shit out of this, you deserve a lifetime comedy Golden Globe, Emmy, and Pulitzer all wrapped up in one. It is your column’s ability to make me laugh every day that gives me the fortitude to continue slogging through this shittastic timeline we’re on, and still wonder what we did to piss the universe off enough to land us here. Jesus.
I think the good ol’ USA has done plenty to piss off the universe, since practically its inception. These are the chickens that the universe has sent home to roost.
What did we do to "piss the universe off enough"? Well, there was Nixon's "southern strategy," and after a few years had passed "we" elected Reagan, Bush I, Bush II, and Trump (twice!). Bush II (aka Dick Cheney) embroiled us in Iraq, appointed Roberts and Alito to SCOTUS, and crashed the economy. After the freakout that followed Obama's election, the SCOTUS came through with the Citizens United decision (2010). Maybe the universe realized that subtler warnings weren't getting through so it came up with Trump II.
Hmmmm we’ve been in DC since Friday and have yet to be attacked by the criminal posse, homeless (have yet to see them) or bad weather. We are more concerned about getting into the museums than the new hallucinations.
Debra, they were strolling down the mall sidewalks but sick shit will be coming. Maybe you know DC is not a state but it has a mayor right, so now she isn’t even in on what happens to the constituents? Dopey don just is turning our gov into scrambled eggs. The FBI is not used this way cross state lines normally gets them involved but like I pointed out DC is not a state. A king doesn’t care off with the heads of the mentally ill. There will be violence I’m sure of it.
Trump has never had a cogent thought, while the rest of us do, explaining why he confuses us.
Republicans always circle the wagons around their particular big shot. They did for Nixon and Reagan and GW Bush, and now this useless puss bucket, Trump. Jeff nailed it. They never will.
Thank you for your attention to my peter! Thank YOU for your attention to my fecal matter--that's his signal to his keepers that he's powerloaded another pair.
I’ve always been interested in politics. But I just went thru life blithely thinking somethings were inviolate. I knew Jacqueline Kennedy redid the WH, but she involved historians&she had an education in art.
Of course Jimmy Carter put solar panels on the roof of WH, but the class act that were the Reagans tore them down&Nancy asked the Carters to leave early so she could redecorate.
But? Taking charge of the Smithsonian exhibit of Trump impeachments, renaming the Kennedy center, tearing up the rose garden, putting gold veneers on everything is just tacky. Then the ballroom while cutting up the safety net with wild abandon.
I’m sure Trump plans on being president for life, but look at him? Even if he survives physically&legally he won’t live forever.
And his cabinet? Did he choose them as a big middle finger to America, or are these genocidal, sexual assaulters just his people?
and of course, even as I was finishing this post, Donny was holding a press conference about all the even stupider ways he's going to fight the imaginary crime wave in DC
He's putting the DC cops under federal control. Is that even remotely legal? Who is going to stop him? Is he going to send homeless people to concentration camps? Hitler called homeless and disabled people "useless eaters" - is someone reading Mein Kampf to Donny again?
How coincidental! “Useless eaters” sounds so much like something Stephen Miller and JD Vance would say.
If you ask me, Couchfuck Magee looks like a useless eater.
He's pretty much a useless everything. As my former senator, I know he did nothing for us here in Ohio.
As a fellow Ohioan, I second that comment. His biggest accomplishment was to occupy space.
Truer words ne'er were spoke, Zija Pulp.
He is getting doughier-looking by the day. In fact, he really, really looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy, except the Pillsbury Doughboy's are bigger (and don't require outlining with eyeliner to try to prove he has eyes, however tiny).
It's all that vacation food!
People still believe he’s a straight shooter…hmm!
He's certainly among the most useless of paid Federal employees. Which is something that condescending, smug asshole doesn't seem to get. But, boy howdy, he sure has extracted the maximum luxe vacation time from his invisible office, hasn't he?
Exactly, Abbi! I think this entire regime is ghoulishly shadow-directed by Stephen Miller. JD isn't smart enough to tie his own shoes.
Maybe he writes the tweets, too.
Bingo! 🎯
Sotto voce: <Mitt Romney>
It’s his every night bedtime story.
That's what I thought Abbi.
“Useless Eaters” sounds like a subtitle of Orwell’s 𝔸𝕟𝕚𝕞𝕒𝕝 𝔽𝕒𝕣𝕞.
Exactly!
The level of stupidity here is staggering. A lot of the homeless are disabled Veterans. He has already demoralized and honked off the FBI. Calling up the National Guard to patrol the streets of DC and do nothing is going to demoralize them... not to mention the unbudgeted cost. At what point are we going to get a break?
Agree. We've already arrived at the breaking point, and yet every day another fucked up story about how the government is terrorizing our country. Just read about an ICE raid in Pennsylvania, at a long standing family mexican restaurant, where they ransacked it, took all the food in the walk in coolers and arrested 16 of their workers. It's just so despicable.
The president of the united states is enabling masked, armed kidnappers and looters.
Five years ago they wouldn't wear masks to slow the spread of Covid.
A fact that needs constant mentioning.
Poignant Veronica!
I read things like this and watch clearly hard-worn migrants being kicked and tased unnecessarily and I swear to god I want to get a gun. I won’t, but the amount of cruelty (and glee about it by those doing the illegal roughing up) infuriates me. Because the wrong people are being punished. I despair that Trump will ever get a scintilla of the punishment he deserves. I heard on the radio (New Yorker Radio Hour) two law experts saying that there’s no way they’ll ever bring back the cases against Trump re. docs stealing and January 6. That they’ve essentially gone away.
Which is why we cannot let the Epstein story lose traction. It could be our last hope to save our country from this regime. Epstein…Epstein…Epstein……
agreed, but the thing is the mainstream media is losing traction at every chance they get to make this go away for their dear leader and savior, Donald Trump. It is the online (non- corporate media) that is keeping the Epstein saga alive.... wish it would go mainstream again but the the maga media owners dont want to upset their king.
Indeed Bonnie!
🤬
A baseball bat will do.
My God - now they are deporting THE STEAKS?
Seriously, though - isn't that theft?
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DND7geGp2hG/
Local cops were in on that shit show too. Someone will recognize that car.
Ransacked the place and took all the FOOD? Are you able to provide a link to that story?
Emiliano’s posted a video of inside the Richland Township location to its Facebook page after the raid, saying I.C.E. “stormed” their restaurants. You can read their full post below:
“What you saw on the news doesn’t tell the full story.
“On Wednesday, federal agents stormed our restaurants in a show of force that went far beyond anything reasonable or humane. They didn’t just detain people — they raided the heart of our business, tore through our spaces, and left behind a trail of fear, confusion, and destruction.
“Our kitchens were flipped. Our walk-ins emptied. Food trashed. Doors broken. Lives shattered.
“But what they can’t destroy is who we are.
“At Emiliano’s, we’ve always been more than a restaurant. We’re a family — and like many restaurants in this country, we are built on the backs of immigrants. We will not apologize for that.
“We are standing by our team. We are working with legal experts and community partners to support the people impacted. And we will not stay silent while fear and intimidation tear through our community.
“We will reopen. We will rebuild. And we will keep feeding this city with love, dignity, and purpose.
“If you want to help, we’ll be sharing ways to support affected families and contribute to our recovery.
“Thank you for standing with us. — The Emiliano’s Family“
I sure hope ACLU goes to bat for them seeking reparations for damages!
https://www.wpxi.com/news/local/law-enforcement-responds-2-mexican-restaurants-allegheny-butler-counties/2D2PIQYPOVC6FPDNYI66RR4SKE/
Interesting - I tried to access this site from outside the States - and it says access denied outside the US.
I know this happens sometimes - but it's still a bit worrying. . .
ok, I found the link. The restaurant is Emiliano's and the article/interview is titled "Trail of destruction" wtae.com
I read it on one of the Wonkette substack newsletters. They posted a whole interview from the owners with videos. Maybe Google it and it'll pop up.
Despicable and heartbreaking!
Wait--did the ICE Goons think the food was undocumented and had committed crimes??
Despicable! I had not seen that. These have to be the [ardoned J6er's doing this sh*t! They are the ones looking for revenge. And they are the most hateful next to drumpf!
But, how are we, normal everyday people, going to stop him? Protests don't seem to be working; he'll just use them as an excuse to take over more cities. As long as I live, I''ll wish a POX on every one that voted for this mess.
With these monsters in control? Never, that’s when.
We might get a break when that asshole dies - but even that isn’t guaranteed. He has too many like corrupt immoral unethical criminals running things for him,.
Trump thinks veterans, especially disabled veterans, are losers.
tRump and his goons are the ones who belong in Everglades Auschwitz.
Dubious of any breaks with the pedoprez in need of daily distractions Stephen!
When has anything legal, remote or otherwise, ever mattered toCF47? The Supreme Court says he above the law, so there!
Trump does have a hotel in DC , it has plenty of rooms for the homeless veterans and other homeless people in our nation’s capital. Problem solved Linda!!
Don't get your hopes up. In my personal experience (homeless encampment three blocks away), you'll have to force the mentally ill homeless into those rooms. If they're homeless because they don't have money for rent, they will take those rooms. If they're like the ones left in Berkeley, they'd rather live in their tents on the streets. Berkeley has made available a big parking lot with showers and toilets for those with campers, and they had about three takers. We have a new building just opened a few weeks ago (with a social worker on site) and a large six or seven story building on a main street with lots of public transportation that the city leased. But no, you couldn't smoke inside. Newsflash, California hasn't allowed indoor smoking in schools, workplaces, and restaurants for decades. Yes, you have to smoke outside and if they've ever been employed they know that. But we still have "homeless" blocking our sidewalks and sometimes our streets with their tents. The most we can get is these people three weeks in a program to treat them and they're out again. You can't force people into mental health treatment or medications. (Thank you, ACLU.) Free meals are served in churches, and the state sends them a few hundred a month. I remember before Reagan closed the mental hospitals in our state. For not wanting to pay for those alone, he never should have been elected president. If you want a home and are on the streets you can get one here. They're homeless by choice. Oh, and two more things. The city bought and rented out a motel a few blocks up the street, with a social worker on site 24 hours a day. I think this is pretty full. Almost every time we drive by the encampment, we see a city social worker out talking to the homeless, trying to talk them into a safer place to live.
Didn't homelessness start right after Reagan closed the mental hospitals? He was a disaster of a potus and the GQP have always revered him!
Yes, it did. I've lived here since 1961. He closed them about 1969, and they showed up by 1973. My mother, a children's librarian, started spending some of her time ushering the homeless out of the children's section into the adult section. Reagan was a terrible person and his wife was worse.
Having spent time in DC for years, coupled with a few social workers friends, your point is well taken LTBW! It’s appalling the way our veterans have been treated!!
I did not say anything about veterans. The ones I see do not appear do be veterans. The veterans are the responsibility of the federal government, as far as I am concerned.
In DC a large number of homeless were in the military. California homelessness is another story LTBW…the traitorous Reagan had a hand in that disaster.
I believe he no longer owns the hotel.
Just waiting for trump to say his new 90,000 foot ballroom is going to be used as a shelter.
It's OK, I'm not holding my breath. . .
That would be something Lady!
Your correct Linda, it’s a Waldorf Astoria.
ℍ𝕒𝕕 𝕒 𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕝, 𝕞𝕪 𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕.
Guess it’s been the Waldorf Astoria for a few years now… damn!!
No hotel. Sold the contract and got out.
Stephen Miller reads it to Donny every night while he tucks him into bed.
"legal" got nothing to do with it. until these judges put people in jail nothing will change.
The late Ivana Trump testified under oath in a deposition that T💩p kept a copy of Hitler's speeches in his nightstand. Probably the only book he's ever read.
He's functionally illiterate. That's why Mein Kampf and Hitler's speeches have to be read to him.
He kept Mein Kampf on his nightstand for years.
Like a blueprint, and he's ahead of schedule. It's goning to get worse.
Yes....Stephen Miller reads the best books to D. On is named KL that describes in detail life and death in the concentration camps.
By Nikolaus Wachsmann. I've read it. I've been studying fascism all my life; didn't realize it was in preparation for living under it.
Looking forward to reading your post tomorrow Jeff. It should be a doozy based on the drivel coming out of tRUMP’s anus mouth at his press conference this morning. He was trying so hard to convince America and the World that DC has gone to hell in a hand basket and is embarrassed to be meeting Putin in “Russia” because who knows why. He was incoherent to me at that point. Too bad the dumb fuck couldn’t have been this “strong” January 6th. But on the bright side, we’ve already forgotten about what’s his name? Jeffery, Jeff…shit I can’t remember 🤦♀️ Color me NOT stupid. Oh & Donald
RELEASE THE FILES BEFORE YOU PISS OFF🖕
Thank you for your attention to this matter
My new tee shirt says, “Gulf of Release the Epstein Files you fucking liar.” I can’t wait to wear it. 🙀
I like the idea of those BFF stickers to put on supermarket trolleys. ..
How can we get those?
They're on etsy:
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/4334805008/2-6-anti-trump-sticker-trump-epstein?ls=a&external=1&rec_type=ad&ref=landingpage_similar_listing_top-3&sts=1&plkey=dbc840d9dbe8fb8305478cde4e1ac72eb0a308a9%3A4334805008
It's a US site, but I found it from the UK, so that $15.49 shipping might be different!
I LOVE THAT!!
Go for it!
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/4334805008/2-6-anti-trump-sticker-trump-epstein?ls=a&external=1&rec_type=ad&ref=landingpage_similar_listing_top-3&sts=1&plkey=dbc840d9dbe8fb8305478cde4e1ac72eb0a308a9%3A4334805008
These are frigging awesome! I ordered a bunch of different ones! Thanks😄
It has gone to hell in a handbasket but because him and his sycophants are there.
Trump will continue to pull this bs in every blue state unless he is stopped!
Was his reference to being in Russia (Alaska) a Freudian slip??? I don't give a damned.....let Putin have it.
The same way he’s fighting the imaginary crime wave in Los Angeles…
And the ripples from the trial on federalizing the California National Guard and sending the military to perform civilian activities may impact what his merry band of cosplaying criminals can do in DC. That trial starts today.
Trump wants to get citizens used to military on the streets
But you’ve seen the BREAKING NEWS!!! banner on Fox for the story
Is he bringing in NCIS, too? Or doesn't he watch CBS on Tuesday?
Scott! ℍ𝔸 ℍ𝕒!
＼(￣▽￣)／
😂😂😂
One thing I'd like to see us do is destroy the media's incessant obsession with "crime" which is 95% of the reason people cower in fear of "crime." And one single incident causes morons like Couchfuck to talk about rampant crime waves. (Crime will never be zero anywhere.) Crime is down almost everywhere, but it's still higher in red states and small towns such as Urbana, Ohio, population 11,000. I know because I checked that. Reason: after Gymmie Jordan went on a rampage about dangerous big cities, I looked up the violent crime rate in his hometown — Urbana, Ohio.
The local Chicago TV stations all do the “if it bleeds, it leads” to some extent. Worst offender: ABC7. After they’re done with all the crimes they can shove into the first 10 minutes, it’s on to pimping anything and everything Disney.
ALL local stations do that — their formula is fire, shooting, fire, car crash, fire, cute dog story. (Fire is a great visual. I've long said that if a pile of tires was on fire in a vacant lot and the mayor was just charged with murder, the tires would lead.) Or in the winter, 30 minutes of "OMG it's going to snow! We're doomed!" Years ago, I saw a study that found people who watch local news greatly overestimate the crime rate.
Our neighbor's house caught fire many years ago and the TV cameraman covering the story shot a picture of the burned house with the cherry blossoms on our tree framing it. Seemed kinda weird to me.
How artsy.
I remember that study. Your formula is spot-on. In LA, it’s car chase, and the rest of the news is forgotten until the chase ends. Then it’s time for celebrity news, 30 seconds of sports, 1 minute of weather.
Unless it's going to snow and that's treated like it was nuclear war or something, taking up the entire newscast. Being from Chicago, I don't find this newsy at all.
Same here. Having grown up in Chicago, I remember there was 1 day when school was closed for snow. A winter with little snow is more of a surprise.
👍🏼We’re in the “Chicagoland” area too - far NW suburbs about 50 miles from the loop. Not sure which one is worse. We don’t watch much local news. Our cable comes from WI which allows us to get Rockford stations which we watched for 10 years before moving back to McHenry County. By comparison, they seem like a breath of fresh air and a somewhat “simple”
Oh Man, I am completely stealing this! “the second — and more fun — fact is that the average homeless person on the streets of DC has thirty-four fewer felony convictions than the current president of the United States.”
Priceless😆 The truth “hurts”
As you’ve said before Jeff, the only thing we need to know about a federal takeover of DC is Donny’s name is all over the Epstein files.
Exactly--this is an attempt at distraction, with the added plan to work toward martial (or, as the GQP morons term it, "marshall") law in major blue cities.
We should all be referring to the DC occupation as The Epstein Deployment. Because that's what's behind it. Another "SQUIRREL!!!" to see if he can get the rubes to stop asking about his bestie Jeffie.
It's 8:38 and I think he's still talking
Yeah, I turned the shitshow conference off as Bondi was talking. Was afraid I’d upchuck my breakfast or tRUMP would push someone so hard they’d fall as he tried to get back to the podium because he was bored not hearing his grating voice rambling on and on and …..🥱🥱🥱
Brilliant, as always, Jeff. Your columns keep me laughing in the face of the increasingly Orwellian happenings in this country. Thank you. If we can laugh, we aren’t defeated yet.
Never give up. Never give in. Never surrender.
At least you have your column for tomorrow!
Not a lot of bellowing about "state's rights" now, is there? As Stuart Stephens wrote, "It Was All A Lie."
And no, 'federalizing' local police is definitely not within the powers of Trumpty Dumpty's throne. Er, office.
He is a fucking idiot!! I wish he would just go away!!
If all the federal servants, national guard and military just said no and refused, there would be no one to arrest them or do anything he says. Oh, gee, you mean you can say no? Why aren't they saying no? What am I missing?
I saw this as performative, I need to distract from the Epstein files and try to throw some dog whistle tropes at my MAGA base so that they get to see him riling up Dems, and will feel like he is doing his job. On the other hand, when he says remove the homeless from DC to far away, I am assuming to Florida's ICE Swamp facility. That would be putting American citizens into ICE detention camp because he does not think anyone will be paying attention if they disappear or die.
Best reply is from the Mayor of DC. Best way to clear the streets of DC is for Trump to throw himself another birthday parade. Dug this out of Andy's report today:
“You want to see people clear out?” Muriel Bowser said to reporters. “Get a bunch of those squeaky old tanks rolling down the streets and you won’t see anyone for miles.”
I believe the term is, “herding cats.”
The only crime wave in Washington DC is in the White House.
You got that right. 👏👏👏👏
Touché Joanne!
An awed nation salutes you. This needs to be on a t-shirt immediately.
You win! 👏
He’s done more crime in 6 months than all the immigrants in the last 20 years!
Just like the only "fake news" is the unending stream of BS pouring out of the mouths of Trump and his MAGAt minions.
🎯
I’m thinking that a good way to prevent more poverty and homelessness in the DC area would have been NOT to strip 30,000 federal workers of their livelihood But nobody asked me.
Taking care of those who served in the military might be helpful as well Stephanie!
Yeah. Me either…
But then no one listens to me anyway.🤷🏻♀️
Ellyn, I’m listening tell us are you from DC? What do you think of von shitzinpants?
"United States President Cookedbooks McHushmoney" 🤣🤣
"release the Epstein Files, you fucking fucks, and let the chips fall where they may.
thank you for your attention to this matter." 😂👏👏👏👏👏
Just one dumb ass thing after the other. How I long for the days of non-eventful government. The Republican party must be destroyed into irrelevancy. Our collective mental health depends on it.
"President Cookedbooks McHushmoney" is on The List. Good one Jeff!
The Rethuglican party must go the way of its predecessor the Whigs. This is a party of jerkhole losers who can only win by cheating. It needs to be destroyed and the grounds of its greedy, perverted, criminal ideas salted so they remain dead for all eternity. They are incapable of evolving so they must go extinct.
From AI
“Crime rates in Washington, DC have declined significantly since 2023, with violent crime in 2024 at its lowest level in over 30 years”
This is a diversion from Epstein and a first step to martial law.
Do not be fooled.
EPSTEIN EPSTEIN EPSTEIN
The crime rate in D.C. may have taken a jump in 2025, starting in January 20, specifically in the area around 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. There's a large white building there that should be investigated.
But Big Balls got his ass kicked by two kids riding tricycles!!
Allegedly
yeah Heather....I smell another false flag operation. It never happened...
Everything that cretinous connard has been blathering is diversion of his own pedophelia Charlie, your thoughts are right on!!
I need a browser plugin that will turn all MSM headlines online into Jeff Tiedrich-style headlines.
Big idea!
"President Trump to meet Putin in Alaska to discuss Ukraine war"
==>
"Lying shitweasel slinks into Alaska to receive its next orders from genocidal maniac"
Change it to 'slinks', which sounds more shitweasel-ly to me than 'slithers', and I am 100% on board. Lol. Perfect either way.
So stipulated. "Slithers" sounds more reptile-esque. Let it be so.
"Fucks off to Alaska" has a Tiedrich ring to it.....
Perfect place to jail the both of .’em for crimes against humanity….a guy can dream!
And what rough shitweasel, its owner come round with instructions, slouches toward Alaska to kiss ass
Sorry. I’ll see myself out.
Yep....this isjust a chance to meet his boyfriend. Will he make a stain on his pants?...Isn't Putin looked at as having young partners??
If someone could invent that, they would make a fortune.
And all images of Donny into puppies.
JD Vance - apostasy incarnated as the Pilsbury Dough Boy in drag
Jeebus Joe, I’m formulating that image dans ma tête!!
After all the evil shit he most likely committed, all the time he spent with bestie Epstein, all the photos and video of him leering at jailbait, and he didn't know he was in the "files?" And he still opened his rancid trap relentlessly about releasing the info. What a fucking dipshit. Lucky for him MAGA has no reprehensible action that is too much for them
And he can shoot whoever he wants, and his basic, baseless, bottom feeders wouldn't blink an eye.
The Six Shits on the Supreme Court gave him absolute immunity. That's their legacy.
DC is not a state so just what can he get away with?
And I woke up at my usual (earlier than the sun) time, and wondered if there would be enough material to write about the DC takeover by Trump in the news today. It is so backwardly fucked up I can barely take a breath without inhaling the fumes of bullshit coming from east of my residence by 400 or so miles, emanating from the White House. It’s eye watering.
Jeff, I risk sounding sycophantic, but you are so good at skewering the ever-lovin’-shit out of this, you deserve a lifetime comedy Golden Globe, Emmy, and Pulitzer all wrapped up in one. It is your column’s ability to make me laugh every day that gives me the fortitude to continue slogging through this shittastic timeline we’re on, and still wonder what we did to piss the universe off enough to land us here. Jesus.
I think the good ol’ USA has done plenty to piss off the universe, since practically its inception. These are the chickens that the universe has sent home to roost.
💯
What did we do to "piss the universe off enough"? Well, there was Nixon's "southern strategy," and after a few years had passed "we" elected Reagan, Bush I, Bush II, and Trump (twice!). Bush II (aka Dick Cheney) embroiled us in Iraq, appointed Roberts and Alito to SCOTUS, and crashed the economy. After the freakout that followed Obama's election, the SCOTUS came through with the Citizens United decision (2010). Maybe the universe realized that subtler warnings weren't getting through so it came up with Trump II.
I'm finding that humor is a good coping mechanism. Here is another humorous diversion to help you start your week.
https://open.substack.com/pub/dearlstephens/p/desolate-dispatch?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1xs0xe
Thank you, David. Funny, but D. Earl Stephens could have stopped halfway through for a bigger punch. Less is more in his article.
Awesome- very funny
Seems legit...
Another fun fact: the average homeless person on the streets of DC is NOT IN THE EPSTEIN FILES.
Hmmmm we’ve been in DC since Friday and have yet to be attacked by the criminal posse, homeless (have yet to see them) or bad weather. We are more concerned about getting into the museums than the new hallucinations.
Thanks for the on-location report.
But I bet the humidity is brutal.
Not bad until yesterday at Dumbarton Iaks.🥵
Debra, they were strolling down the mall sidewalks but sick shit will be coming. Maybe you know DC is not a state but it has a mayor right, so now she isn’t even in on what happens to the constituents? Dopey don just is turning our gov into scrambled eggs. The FBI is not used this way cross state lines normally gets them involved but like I pointed out DC is not a state. A king doesn’t care off with the heads of the mentally ill. There will be violence I’m sure of it.
FYI: DC’s mayor is Muriel Bowser—a she.
Naturally this calls for a song: put your hands together for Alice Cooper:
No more Mister Nice Guy
No more Mister Clean
No more Mister Nice Guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
So fucking on point
Don Jr and Eric - Twin sons of (not different) the same motherfucker
🤟😎
👍👍👍
Trump has never had a cogent thought, while the rest of us do, explaining why he confuses us.
Republicans always circle the wagons around their particular big shot. They did for Nixon and Reagan and GW Bush, and now this useless puss bucket, Trump. Jeff nailed it. They never will.
Thank you for your attention to my peter! Thank YOU for your attention to my fecal matter--that's his signal to his keepers that he's powerloaded another pair.
🤣🤣🤣
Strong probability Richard!
I’ve always been interested in politics. But I just went thru life blithely thinking somethings were inviolate. I knew Jacqueline Kennedy redid the WH, but she involved historians&she had an education in art.
Of course Jimmy Carter put solar panels on the roof of WH, but the class act that were the Reagans tore them down&Nancy asked the Carters to leave early so she could redecorate.
But? Taking charge of the Smithsonian exhibit of Trump impeachments, renaming the Kennedy center, tearing up the rose garden, putting gold veneers on everything is just tacky. Then the ballroom while cutting up the safety net with wild abandon.
I’m sure Trump plans on being president for life, but look at him? Even if he survives physically&legally he won’t live forever.
And his cabinet? Did he choose them as a big middle finger to America, or are these genocidal, sexual assaulters just his people?
So humiliating
Same old tune ,same old dance ,lie lie lie.cry cry cry .....it will end poorly ...it always has under his administration 😞...sad times .