Dean Phillips, what the fuck are you doing?

no good can come of this reckless and selfish act

it takes a special kind of stupid to take your party’s chances of holding the White House and fuck them all to hell.

it takes a special kind of delusional to think “I’m an obscure back-bench nobody. me for president!”

it takes a special kind of narcissistic to choose ego over the preservation of a fragile democracy.

Dean Phillips just hit the trifecta.

this is Dean Phillips. chances are, you couldn’t pick him out of a lineup if your life depended on it.

Dean has represented Minnesota’s third district since 2019. his legislative accomplishments are nil. he has the charisma of a gnat.

why am I telling you this?

because — in case you haven’t heard — Douchebag Dean has decided to primary Joe Biden for the 2024 Democratic presidential nomination, and he’s not screwing around. he’s all in.

Dean Phillips, what the fuck are you doing?

no good can come of this. it’s a reckless, selfish act.

Phillips is not a long-shot candidate for president. he’s a no-shot candidate.

all he’s doing is helping Donald Trump by making his arguments for him.

So Phillips is going to say it for them to the cheers of the very MAGA folks he claims to be singularly motivated to defeat. His candidacy, magnified by conservative media, will guarantee that so long as it lasts, Biden’s age and alleged feebleness will never be out of the public eye for a moment.

nothing good ever comes from primarying an incumbent president.

in 1980, Ted Kennedy primaried Jimmy Carter. it was a knock-down drag-out fight, and all Kennedy accomplished was to convince people not to vote for Carter in the general election. Ronald Reagan won and ushered in Reaganism, and our whole fucking world changed.

The challenge so damaged the Democrats that it took them twelve years to recover from it. Republican nominee Ronald Reagan beat Carter by a landslide, winning 489 of 538 electoral votes and capturing 50.7 percent of the vote to Carter’s 41 percent. Carter may have lost without Kennedy’s challenge but the challenge nearly assured it.

and now, here we are again. Dean Phillips doesn’t have to win a single primary to fuck up Biden’s chances. all he has to do is demoralize enough Democrats to make them stay home on election day, and convince enough independents to vote for Trump.

---

Joe Biden might not be your perfect candidate, but it’s too late to be doing this now — the election is less than a year away.

yes, there are legit arguments to be made as to why we should all get a choice of who to vote for in a primary, but look: there’s no room for error here.

once again, we are faced with “the most important election of our lifetime.”

it’s fucking exhausting that every goddamned election is now the most important one ever. it’s become a cliché — but that doesn’t make it any less true.

it’s either us or the fascists — actual fucking fascists — and they’re not hiding their wannabe-Nazi plan to end democracy in America. it’s right out in the open.

and Shitty Hitler is out here vowing to prosecute and jail his political enemies. that’s you and me.

these shitheads just keep getting more dangerous all the time, and we don’t have the luxury of accommodating vanity candidates.

there’s name for people who help elect Republicans to office. they’re called Republicans.

---

let’s end this bummer of a post on a lighter note. here’s Little Donny Fuckface getting booed mercilessly at last night’s Clemson-South Carolina game.

even the Clemson band got into the act.