could this ginormous sack of shit please stop lying about how he was rescued at Ground Zero?

is that really too much to ask?

Little Donny Fuckface is a liar. we know this.

he lies about everything. he lies as easily as other people breathe.

he lied to get into college. he lied to get out of Vietnam.

he’s lied about hush money and lied about his dead pedo bestie and lied about how tariffs work and lied about his unwinnable war on Iran and lied about being able to point to a camel and lied about his weight and lied about his golf scores and lied about his wealth and lied about a hurricane and lied about a pandemic and lied about his taxes and lied about a million other things.

so should we really by surprised that this lying fuck is now lying about being rescued by firefighters on 9/11?

“never forget. two firemen. we thought it was coming down on top of us, and two firemen, big strong guys, and I’m not the smallest guy in the world, they grabbed me under the arms, said, ‘gotta get outta here.’ and they literally lifted me up. this is not easy to do. I’m big. they lifted me up, they started running with me. I said, ‘fellas, I can run myself.’ but they were amazing. they thought it was coming down.”

fact check: FUCK YOU, YOU DISGUSTING FUCK.

of all the things that never happened, Donny getting saved from Ground Zero has be right up there with things that never happened the most.

make no mistake — two big, strong firemen, tears of relief coursing down their cheeks like few thought possible, did not grab this lying sack of shit under the arms and hustle him away from danger. these imaginary firemen didn’t go ‘sir! sir! we gotta get outta here! sir!’

none of this shit happened.

we know it didn’t happen, because this soft, pampered man-child of privilege wasn’t anywhere near Ground Zero on 9/11. he was in his eyesore of a fake-gold tower, four miles away, phoning into TV stations and bragging about how he now had the tallest building on lower Manhattan.

how do we know this? because there’s a fucking video of it, that’s why.

“they built the World Trade Center, it became known as the second tallest, and now it’s the tallest.”

shut the fuck up, Piggy. what a disgusting, self-absorbed asshole. as the rest of the world is being traumatized by what they’re witnessing, all this moron can think is ‘hey, tallest building is mine, so cool.’

for the umpteenth time, this vile dumbfuck makes a national tragedy all about himself.

may I please plagiarize myself? this is what I wrote two days ago, after Lord Shitticus told a different lie about Ground Zero, about how he personally helped clear away the rubble.

of all the lies this fucking liar has told in his fucking lie-strewn life, this one is the most shameful, because it spits in the face of the actual heroes — the first responders and civilian volunteers who actually went down to Ground Zero and sorted through the rubble — many of whom ended up with life-shortening medical issues as a result.

Donny is the biggest attention-hog in the multiverse — which makes it really weird how their are no photos of him, covered in soot, helping carry away twisted metal beams. it’s really weird how there isn’t one person who remembers seeing one of the most famous people on the planet down at Ground Zero. in fact, just the opposite is true.

First responders and recovery officials have questioned these statements. As noted by NPR, Richard Alles, battalion chief of the New York Fire Department at the time of the attacks, spent several months in the smoking, choking ruins at ground zero. He told PolitiFact this summer, “I was there for several months — I have no knowledge of his being down there.” Officials also noted there was no record of Trump sending a large group of his workers to aid in the official recovery efforts. [1]

nobody saw Donny at Ground Zero, yet he’s been allowed to lie about it for literal decades. nobody questions it. the press can’t even be bothered to rouse from their slumbers. look at how the NY Times framed it. they don’t call it a disgraceful, fucked-up lie. they call it a ‘claim’ — one that’s ‘questionable and provocative.’

oh, I guess reasonable people can differ on a made-up fairy tale told by a lifelong liar who no one saw at the scene. is that it, New York Times?

thanks for nothing, you hacks.

how the fuck does Donny keep get away with it? as always, it’s fucking maddening.

no one else, no other politician — or public figure — is allowed to lie to the shameless degree that Donny does, without consequences.

one hates to keep bringing this up, but it never stops being relevant to the discourse: imagine that Joe Biden had fabricated some story about having been rescued at Ground Zero. the press would have savaged him. they would have called him a liar. they would have called him demented. they would have called him unfit for office. they would have demanded his resignation, on the spot, for the good of the country.

reporters would have fallen all the fuck all over each other in mad dash to file their stories.

Jake Tapper would have orgasmed on the spot, and seven new books about how Joe Biden is old and icky and smells bad would have come rocketing out of his ass.

I just checked Jake Tapper’s social media feed. there’s nothing on it about Donny’s bogus Ground Zero story. zip. nada. nothing at all. just some twaddle about some celebrity eBay auction.

thanks a lot for nothing, Jake.

we can’t have a functioning democracy if we don’t have a functioning press.

but wait — Dear Leader wasn’t finished shitting all over the memory of the first responders who actually gave their lives on 9/11.

“then, suddenly, a rescuer appeared. they call him the Man— in the Red— Bandana. have you heard that term? the Man in the Red Bandana’s become more famous than me. I don’t like it. heh heh. very unhappy, but he’s become much more famous than me.”

now I hear you asking, ‘Uncle Jeff, what the fuck is Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants gibbering about? who is the Man in the Red Bandana?’

allow me to elucidate.

‘the Man in the Red Bandana’ was volunteer firefighter Welles Crowther. he personally rescued at least 18 people trapped in the World Trade Center on 9/11. when he went back inside to find more people to help, the South Tower collapsed, killing him.

incredibly, Donny imagines that whining about this actual hero’s fame relative to his own is somehow an appropriate thing to do. what the fuck?

this demented pig has no filters. he’d a lizard brain stem connected to a mouth. he just blurts out whatever random thought appears in his fat, waterlogged head. where is the outrage from the press? where is the outrage from Donny’s own party?

I’m looking straight at you, Esteemed Senator Fidel Cancun.

Kaitlan Collins: “on the president’s 9/11 story today, he’s saying that there is evidence that he was there right after it. he’s making it sound like he was pulled out of the rubble, with the firefighters. do you think that’s appropriate?”

Ted Cruz: “September 11th was 25 years ago.”

wait, that’s Ted’s argument for why lying about being rescued on 9/11 is no big deal? Dear Leader gets a free pass because he’s old — and 9/11 happened so long ago, that Donny can be forgiven for mixing fact with fever-swamp fantasy?

are you fucking kidding me with this bullshit?

Donny being so cognitively-collapsed that he can’t tell if big, strong, weeping firefighters actually manhandled him out of danger or not, is exactly why he needs to be booted out of office, pronto — and if he knows he’s lying, that’s just as bad. maybe even worse.

once again: IMAGINE IF JOE BI—

oops, sorry — my head just exploded. allow me to take a moment to scotch-tape it back together.

* * *

the 25th anniversary of 9/11 is two days from now. it would be nice if we lived in the timeline where the worst people in the world aren’t going to turn what should be a solemn commemoration of a tragedy into a five-alarm shit-show.

but we don’t live in that timeline. we live in the shitty one.

lucky us.

I’m just glad that Mitch McConnell isn’t alive to see this.

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after all that, we have never needed a Daily Claudia more than we do right now, so let’s have at it.

here are two more from the 1980s. good lord, remember those big, ugly desk phones?

and here’s Ms Spouse, looking stylish as hell, in her bff Mandi’s apartment.

have a great Wednesday, everyone. do try to remember whether or not you were pulled from the rubble on 9/11.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.