convicted felon whines about having to respect due process. boo fucking hoo

what kind of psycho says “we cannot give everyone a trial”?

you want to talk about due process?

nobody in the entire universe has ever gotten more due process than a certain 34-count narcoleptic fart factory. America’s entire judicial apparatus has bent over backwards to ensure that Little Donny Fuckface’s constitutional fee-fees never get hurt.

Donny was allowed to be arrested and arraigned in private — in almost every instance, a mug shot was never published. he was shown extraordinary deference by judges, and given wide latitude to act like a whiny dipshit in court, being gag-ordered only after multiple infractions. that should be enough due process for anyone, but no — there’s more.

how about all the times when justice was denied? when Donny swiped thousands of classified documents and refused to return them, he got his own hand-picked fangirl judge to make it go all fuckity-bye.

when he led an insurrection against his own government, the corrupt Federalist Society hacks on the Supreme Court ruled that he was A Very Special Boy who could crime all he wanted to. that case, too, went right into the shitter.

and the one thing Donny actually got convicted for — business fraud — that all went away when he got elected president. Judge Engoron basically had no choice but to sentence Donny to ‘go stand over there and think about what you’ve done.’

given all this, you might suppose that Donny would have an appreciation for the system that has allowed him to crime his way through life without consequence. you might think he’d at least respect due process.

ha fucking ha.

imagine a United States president who literally says “we cannot give everyone a trial.” actually, you don’t have to imagine it — because Mad King Donny actually went there.

“I’m doing what I was elected to do, remove criminals from our Country, but the Courts don’t seem to want me to do that. My team is fantastic, doing an incredible job, however, they are being stymied at every turn by even the U.S. Supreme Court, which I have such great respect for, but which seemingly doesn’t want me to send violent criminals and terrorists back to Venezuela, or any other Country, for that matter — People that came here illegally! The Courts are intimidated by the Radical Left who are, ‘playing the Ref.’ Great Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito correctly wants to dissolve the pause on deportations. He is right on this! If we don’t get these criminals out of our Country, we are not going to have a Country any longer. We cannot give everyone a trial, because to do so would take, without exaggeration, 200 years. We would need hundreds of thousands of trials for the hundreds of thousands of Illegals we are sending out of the Country. Such a thing is not possible to do. What a ridiculous situation we are in. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”

Christ on a kewpie doll, listen to this guy bellyache.

wah wah wah. judges are so mean to me. they never let me do what I want to do.

oh boo fucking hoo, you dilapidated old fuck. you weren’t elected to fight imaginary crime. you’re not a cartoon superhero. you were elected to uphold the Constitution. it’s right there in your oath of office.

“I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

look, Donny: due process isn’t just for Very Special Boys who have the resources to hire an ace team of parking garage lawyers to game the system in their favor — it’s for everyone.

that Constitution you swore to uphold says that everyone gets due process. everyone gets the right to a trial. everyone gets the right to a jury. everyone gets the right to face their accuser. and everyone gets the right to see the evidence against them.

and when the Constitution says everyone, it literally fucking means everyone.

everyone: you, me — and all those poor souls disappeared into that Salvadoran torture gulag.

I guess if Abrego Garcia wanted due process, he should have had the foresight to have been born into obscene wealth.

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here’s some nightmare fuel that no one asked for.

yesterday was the annual White House Easter Egg Hunt, and Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants kicked off the event by doing his patented ‘jacking off two invisible dicks’ dance.

wait, did I say nightmare fuel? no, I meant ‘years spent on a psychiatrist’s couch, trying to unsee this’ fuel — because look what Donny brought with him: merch. and not just any old merch — the psychopath brought trading cards of him allegedly getting his fucking ear blown off.

… and then my fucking ear grew back.

on what planet is this appropriate?

I guess you’re never too young to learn about how God himself bent the trajectory of the assassin’s bullet so that it only nicked Dear Leader’s ear and instead slammed into the skull of the glorious martyr standing behind him.

holy shit, look in Donny’s hand — it’s a sharpie. he’s fucking signing those abominations — for children.

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hey, know who else showed up to the Easter Egg Hunt? Pete Kegstand, the Secretary of Defense — and he brought Mrs. Kegstand and all the little Kegstands with him.

Plastered Pete might be shit at running a military and shit at not leaking war plans, but the one thing he really fucking excels at is whining about how unfairly he’s being treated.

“you know, what a big surprise that a bunch of a few leakers get fired and suddenly a bunch of hit pieces come out from the same media that peddled the Russia hoax and won’t give back their Pulitzers. they got a bunch of Pulitzers for a bunch of lies. Pulitzers for a bunch of lies. and on hoaxes. time and time and time again. and as they peddle those lies, no one ever calls them on it. see, this is what the media does. they take anonymous sources from disgruntled former employees and then they try to slash and burn people, and ruin their reputations. it’s not gonna work with me. because we’re changing the defense department, putting the Pentagon back in the hands of war-fighters, and anonymous smears from disgruntled former employees are old news. doesn’t matter. so I’m happy to be here at the Easter egg roll with my dad and my kids, ’cause this is what we’re doing it for. these kids right here. this is why we’re fighting the fake news media. this is why we’re fighting slash-and-burn Democrats. this is why we’re fighting hoaxsters. hoaxsters. no, no, this group right here. full of hoaxsters that peddle anonymous sources from leakers with axes to grind and then you put it all together as if it’s some news story. and we know exactly what it is. so I’m really proud of what we’re doing for the president, fightin’ hard across the board, and I’m gonna go roll some Easter eggs with my kids.”

got that? Pete definitely didn’t do the thing that dozens of people absolutely saw him do.

no wonder Donny Convict loves this guy. they’re both cut from the same whiny, delusional, self-aggrandizing woe-is-me cloth. you could take those words and put them up on Truth Social and sign Donny’s name to them, and everyone would buy it as real.

shut the fuck up, Leaky McOopstext — you’re terrorizing your own children.

I was going to gif that shit for posterity, but then I decided to leave these kids alone. none of this is their fault, and they definitely didn’t sign up to be Easter Props.

all I will say is that Pete is definitely guilty of an SWI — shaving while intoxicated.

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who looks forward to a funeral?

“Melania and I will be going to the funeral of Pope Francis, in Rome. We look forward to being there!”

once again, President Sociopath utterly fails to give a normal human response to a situation.

no, strike that — I’ll bet this psycho does look forward to going to funerals. just watch — I’ll bet Donny’s going to do one of those totally weird, inappropriate thumbs-up shit-grins right at the Pope Francis’ gravesite.

it’s not like we don’t have precedent.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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