the price of gas goes fuckity-zoom

congratulations, Republicans — you own this shithole mess

on Wednesday, Senate Republicans had the perfect chance to do the entire world a ginormous solid, by voting in favor of a war powers resolution that would have severely curtailed Donny Convict’s ability to fuck shit up in the Middle East.

spoiler alert: they didn’t do it. they voted to block the bill.

on Thursday, House Republicans had their opportunity to vote for the House’s version of a war powers resolution. did they do it? of fucking course not.

and now, Republicans own this shit. all the economic misery that’s to come from Dear Leader’s Splendid Iranian Clusterfuck™, the GOP built that.

here’s a super fun thing that happened to the price of gas yesterday: it went up ten cents a gallon in DC.

this is the direct result of dropping bombs on the country that controls the Strait of Hormuz, through which 20% of the world’s crude oil and natural gas flows. shut that shit down, and guess what happens next: the price of oil skyrockets — and the price of oil affects the price of everything. when gas is more expensive, the cost of shipping is more expensive — all that shit gets passed on to We the Consumers.

seems like an obvious example of cause and effect, doesn’t it? apparently not to the gang idiots who act first and think never — because it’s just now dawning on Donny’s handlers that Operation Epstein Diversion is creating an economic disaster.

President Donald Trump’s chief of staff, Susie Wiles, is telling his advisers to bring ideas to the Oval Office to lower gasoline prices in the wake of the U.S. attack on Iran, according to two energy industry executives familiar with the conversations.

The White House is “looking under every rock for ideas on improving energy prices, especially gasoline prices,” said one of the executives, who was granted anonymity to describe internal administration discussions.

these hubristic shitwits all thought Iran was going to be a one-and-done like Venezuela. they thought Iran’s government would fold like a pack of cards after a single day’s bombing — and now that it’s obvious that this ill-planned don’t-call-it-a-war is going to drag on for god knows how long, they haven’t a single fucking clue what to do about skyrocketing gas prices.

they’re ‘looking under every rock.’ yeah, that’ll do it. I have an idea: look for the rock with the ‘how about you don’t start a fucking war in the first place’ sign on it.

I love-love-love this next paragraph:

Energy Secretary Chris Wright and other advisers focused on energy policy, including a council led by Interior Secretary Doug Burgum, “are getting screamed at to find some good news” on bringing down prices, the same executive said.

yeah, because getting screamed at and being humiliated is such a great way of getting the creative juices flowing.

but once again, this is how these shit-kazoos operate. Dear Leader gets some disastrously fuckbrained idea in his head, and no one has the courage to say ‘no.’

and now, they all have to scramble to clean up one more of Donny’s infinite series of messes.

only this time, there’s no easy way to do it. what was it that Timothy Snyder said about wars? oh, right —

wars are easy to start and hard to stop.

so, the next time you fill up your car’s gas tank, thank Donny. thank a Republican. they built that.

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here’s another awesome headline, courtesy of United States President Sociopath McFuckstick.

Asked if Americans should worry about Iran retaliating against Americans on U.S. soil, President Donald Trump responded, “I guess.”

oh, he guesses. the shitbag who acts first and thinks never guesses that maybe Americans should worry about getting terroristed to death, because of an unprovoked, unnecessary and illegal don’t-call-it-a-war that he started.

fuck you, you callous fucking fuck.

oh, and this just in: Donny’s going to start a second war to distract us from the first war.

why? someone explain to me why we need to go after a tiny little country whose existence in no way affects us at all. this isn’t 1962. the Soviet Union isn’t storing nukes there. is Donny still mad about that? what does kicking Cuba’s ass do for us?

explain it to me like I’m five years old. because I just don’t get it.

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so, Little Miss Hair Extensions finally got the boot yesterday — but of course it was for all the wrong reasons.

Kristi Noem wasn’t fired for completely botching FEMA’s responses to natural disasters in North Carolina, Texas, and elsewhere. she wasn’t fired for turning the streets of American cities into war zones. she wasn’t fired for turning ICE into a poorly-trained and lawless gang of masked and armed thugs who teargassed children and murdered American citizens. no, Donny had no problem with any of that shit.

nope, Noem got axed because she made Dear Leader look bad.

Trump’s ire toward Noem reportedly grew Wednesday when Noem said under oath that the president approved her $220 million ad spend promoting her work at DHS. Trump told Reuters Thursday he “never knew anything about it.”

but here’s the beauty part: Donny fired Noem in the most Donny way possible: via a social media post — because Dear Leader is a fucking coward who can’t ever fire anyone face-to-face. direct confrontation makes his bone spurs hurt.

it happened while ICE Barbie was giving a speech — and she had no fucking clue that she’d been fired.

but wait — it gets better. as a consolation prize, they gave ICE Barbie a new job. she’s now the Special Envoy for the Shield of the Americas — which definitely sounds like a thing they just made up five minutes ago.

it’s all so stupid and juvenile. ‘The Shield of the Americas’ sounds like something out of a comic book. I guess they couldn’t use ‘Justice League of America,’ because it was already taken.

I miss being governed by adults. I really do. President Kamala wouldn’t be pulling any of this rinky-dink shit.

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meanwhile, Donny’s nominee to replace Kristi Noem as head of Homeland Security is Markwayne Mullin, easily the dumbfuckiest dumbfuck in the Senate — and sweet Jesus with side of fries, the Washington Post is living a dream world.

again with the wishcasting.

on what planet is Markwayne Mullin going to ever ‘reset immigration policy’? I’d like to go there. it seems nice.

is the Post trolling us? is there a gas leak in their editorial board offices?

let’s get real. Two-Names McDumbfuck isn’t being installed at DHS to reset anything. he’s there to be less of an twenty-megaton clownshoes embarrassment than Noem was. but that’s not going to happen, either — because not only is Marky Many-Names every bit as evil as Kristi, he’s every bit as volatile as well. maybe even more so.

let’s take a stroll down Markwayne Memory Lane. over two years ago — on November 14, 2023 — Mullin threatened to kick someone’s ass, right on the floor of the Senate. no, wait. he didn’t just threaten — he actually stood up and got ready to do it.

here’s how I wrote it up at the time, in my post from Nov. 15, 2023.

meanwhile, Toxic Masculinity Day in the halls of Congress continued. Republican Sen. Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma took one look at what was going on in the House and said yo, give me a piece of that action.

A congressional hearing devolved into an angry confrontation between a senator and a witness on Tuesday after Republican Sen. Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma challenged Sean O’Brien, the president of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, to “stand your butt up” and settle longstanding differences right there in the room.

what the fuck is going on? did someone put meth in the Capitol Building’s water coolers?

Mullin: “sir, this is a time, this is a place. you want to run your mouth? we can be two consenting adults. we can finish it here.”
O’Brien: “ok, that’s fine. perfect.”
Mullin: “want to do it now?”
O’Brien: “I’d love to do it right now.”
Mullin: “well, stand your butt up, then.”
O’Brien: “you stand your butt up.”
Mullin: [stands up]
Bernie Sanders: “hold on, hold on. stop it. no, no, sit down. sit down. you know, you’re a United States Senator. sit down. [bangs gavel]”

that’s right, everybody’s crabby grandfather, Bernie Sanders, had to stop what looked like was going to be an actual fistfight in the well of the Senate.

sit the fuck down, Markwayne. do not make Bernie come over there.

my god. and they say that women are too emotional to be in government.

and this is the hair-trigger buffoon whom the Post hopes will reset immigration policy. oh please, fuck straight off with this fever-swamp fairy tale nonsense. it ain’t happening.

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by the way, elsewhere in that Nov 15, 2023 post appears the following graphic.

at the bottom of the post is an explanation of how that image came to be.

my grateful thanks and enduring affection goes to Ms. Spouse, who, when I asked her which was better, “the House needs a referee” or “the House needs a kindergarten teacher,” thought about it for a moment, and answered “the House needs a nun with a ruler.”

when Ms. Spouse passed away last month, I didn’t just lose a wife. I lost a creative partner. I will miss her forever.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.