colicky rage-baby still Big Mad about that Nobel Prize

what a self-sabotaging imbecile

he’s such a fucking child.

he’s such a child that he flies into a rage if he hears the word ‘no.’ he’s such a child that he needs constant affirmation about how he’s a Very Special Boy. he’s such a child that he throws a shit-fit if he’s not the center of attention.

he’s such a child that he literally demands to be given more ice cream than anyone else.

he’s such a child that I don’t even need to say his name. all I have to say is ‘he’s such a fucking child’ — and you immediately know who I’m talking about.

cast your mind back to the other day, when Dozy Don took his narcoleptic Venezuela victory lap. one of the first things he did was to throw Venezuela’s opposition leader under the bus.

Trump on María Corina Machado: “I think it’d be very tough for her to be the leader. She doesn’t have the support or the respect within the country. She’s a very nice woman but she doesn’t have the respect.”

every single one of us had the same reaction Donny’s tirade: ‘the thin-skinned bastard is still Big Mad that Machado won the Nobel Peace Prize and he didn’t, isn’t he?’

well, guess what: it turns out we were all correct. President Rage-Baby is, in fact, still Ginormous Fucking Mad about not getting that Nobel.

Two people close to the White House said the president’s lack of interest in boosting Machado, despite her recent efforts to flatter Trump, stemmed from her decision to accept the Nobel Peace Prize, an award the president has openly coveted.

Although Machado ultimately said she was dedicating the award to Trump, her acceptance of the prize was an “ultimate sin,” said one of the people.

“If she had turned it down and said, ‘I can’t accept it because it’s Donald Trump’s,’ she’d be the president of Venezuela today,” this person said.

oh my sweet lord, the ‘ultimate sin’? are you fucking serious?

how infantile is that?

he’s such a self-sabotaging imbecile. of all the possible successors to Maduro, María Corina Machado should be, for Donny, the natural choice. she’s the one who’s most aligned to his worldview. installing her as his puppet would be the smoothest path to glomming Venezuela’s oil.

but no. Machado has committed the unforgivable crime of accepting the prize that God himself has ordained belongs to Donny — and so she must pay the price.

once again, Donny lets his burst trash bag of personality defects get in the way of his goals.

grow the fuck up, dumb-ass.

---

I hope you’re not expecting any serious push-back from Republicans over the coming clusterfuck in Venezuela. forget about any of that shit, because they’ve completely capitulated. they’ve already thrown all the flowers at their Mad King, and hailed him as a liberator — a great liberator. a liberator like no one thought possible. maybe the greatest liberator of all time.

listen to this nauseating nonsense.

CNN host: “the leadership of the House Armed Services Committee is set to be briefed tonight by Trump administration officials. what questions do you have?”

GOP Rep Carlos Giminez: “the questions I would have is how brilliantly they carried out the operation.”

what in the hallowed name of Kneepads Jesus is going on here? come on, that’s not even a question.

look — even if you completely support Donny, wouldn’t you still have questions? why is this fuckwad even in Congress, if he’s not going to do the barest minimum amount of work? here’s a question Rep. Giminez could ask — and it’s not even confrontational: ‘what’s next?’

really, what’s next? because it’s way too early to be claiming victory. don’t take my word for it. listen to Democratic Rep. Jason Crow, a military veteran who has actually seen combat.

Crow sure as shit has questions.

“the more important questions for me right now are, ‘should we have done this,’ and ‘what comes next?’ I am haunted by the ghosts of Iraq and Afghanistan. where those invasions, those military operations, initially went flawless as well. but then it was the years later, the trillions of dollars spent, the thousands of American lives, the decades of lost opportunity that followed, that were the problem. and the appetite for Americans right now for more nation-building, more endless quagmires is almost zero.”

anyone with any sense is right to be haunted by the ghosts of Iraq and Afghanistan — because here we go again.

let’s get real: we haven’t ‘won’ shit in Venezuela. we’re at the ‘Mission Accomplished’ stage — the point when, barely fifteen minutes after the capture of Saddam Hussein, George W. Bush declared victory, thanked everyone for their service, and went back to reading My Pet Goat. spoiler alert: Saddam’s fall was the beginning of the Iraq debacle, not the end. the war went on for years after that, with thousand of lives lost and trillion of dollars flushed straight down the shitter.

Donny and his merry gang of warmongers sure do seem hell-bent on making those same hubristic mistakes all over again.

but don’t try to explain any of that to Donny. he stopped listening a long time ago — because he knows more about prematurely declaring victory than all the premature victory declarers.

---

let’s circle back to the ‘ultimate sinner,’ Nobel laureate María Corina Machado — because she showed up on Fox News last night, of all places, to turn the cringe dial all the way to eleven.

Hannity: “did you at any point offer to give him the Nobel peace prize? did that actually happen? I had read that somewhere and wasn’t sure it was true.”

Machado: “well, it hasn’t happened yet … but we want to give it to him. share it with him.”

ugh. imagine being so desperate for power that you’ll debase yourself in front of Dear Leader.

doesn’t Machado know that the First Rule of Nobel Peace Prize Club is ‘don’t share your peace prize with Donny’?

I hope someone on the Nobel Committee is on their way to Venezuela right now to yank that prize out of Maria’s hands. anyone that hot to pass it along to the warlord who’s already bombed the shit out of over a hundred Venezuelan fishermen has no business possessing it in the first place.

---

we should probably check in with Venezuela’s neighboring countries, and see how they’re reacting to the news.

hey Argentina, what’s up with you hombrés?

oh dear.

you have to admit, though — that’s a pretty good likeness of Donny, isn’t it? whoever created it really captured his spirit of mischievous playfulness.

---

hey, everybody! we found the dumbest possible take on Venezuela, from none other than frozen fish-stick heir and roasted ball-sack aficionado Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson.

feast your ears on this clip, from October 2025.

“we can safely discount democracy as a reason for effecting regime change in Venezuela. we’re not going to go kill Nicolas Maduro because we don’t like the way he’s treating his people. it’s possible we’re mad because he doesn’t allow gay marriage. that is a distinct possibility — but no one will say that out loud.”

pro tip: no one will say that out loud because it’s batshit fucking insane.

it Tucks on shrooms? is there a risk factor for fried brain from microwaving the family jewels one too many times?

what the fuck is Tucks gibbering about? who in a position of power right now is pining for marriage equality in Venezuela?

was Donny hoping to finally tie the knot with Rudy Giuliani in Caracas?

is that what all this regime change is really about?

---

look, no one loathes Jake Tapper with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns more than I do — but I have to admit he had the perfect response to Stephen Miller.

of all the high-on-their-own-supply shitwits in Donnyland right now, none are higher than Pee-Wee German. having tasted one day of success in Venezuela, he’s been wetting himself with glee over the prospect of rolling tanks all across the entire Western Hemisphere, just as his role model Hitler did in Europe eighty years ago.

listen to Pee-Wee’s high-pitched, mile-a-minute shrieking as he details his psychotic plans for world domination, and you tell me: is Pee-Wee speaking English, or is he helping bats to echolocate?

after enduring Pee-Wee’s breathless, over-two-minute-long rant, Tapper throws up his hand in defeat, and goes “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

none of us do, Jake — except maybe for those echolocating bats.

we are all Jake Tapper right now.

---

and, finally, happy Marjorie Three Toes Greene Is No Longer In Congress Day to all who celebrate.

---

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

---

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

953 / 1042