bugfuck nation: Donny and his minions can’t stop saying stupid shit

welcome to the United States of Imbecile

once again, everything in the news is so unbelievably idiotic that I don’t even know where to begin. so today, I’m just going to drag out the Big Wheel of Moron™, give it a spin, and see where it lands. ready? here we go.

CNN’s Paula Reid: “you’re the nation’s top law enforcement official. would you be okay with people who were convicted of hurting police getting taxpayer money?”

Todd Blanche: “just to be clear, people that hurt police get money all the time.”

what the fuck kind of answer was that? excuse me, folks, while I pick my jaw up off the floor. Todd Blanche is the head of the Department of Justice — and when asked, ‘what about all this injustice,’ his answer is basically, ‘eh, injustice happens.’

BZZT! wrong answer, you prevaricating shit-spout. your job is to make sure injustice doesn’t happen, not to fucking normalize the idea of injustice.

this is where we are in these United States of ours, in the year 2026. our nation’s top law-enforcement honcho works for our nation’s top law-breaker, and so he has to pretend that law-breaking is a perfectly normal thing. nothing to see here, move on.

‘people that hurt police get money all the time’ is the kind of stupid shit that inevitably comes out of one’s mouth when one is forced by circumstance to justify the actions of the most corrupt criminal ever to shit his diaper in the Oval Bordello. deep down inside, Todd Blanche knows it’s wrong to give millions of dollars to the January 6 insurrectionists. he’s not that big a psychopath — but he works for a psychopath, and he want to keep his job, so he has look straight into the camera and humiliate himself on live television.

Todd Blanche has taken his credibility and clownfucked straight into the gutter. and for what? a handful of magic beans?

get me the fuck away from Todd Blanche, pronto. let’s spin that Big Wheel of Moron again.

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oh look, it landed on the world’s second-richest asshole.

Jeff Bezos on Preznit Fuckwit: “I think he’s a more mature, more disciplined version of himself than he was in his first term… Trump has lots of good ideas. he’s been right about a lot of things. you have to give him credit where credit is due.”

has Jeff Bezos been dipping into the Space Nazi’s ketamine stash?

what are these good ideas of Donny’s that Bezos thinks are so awesome? ‘billionaires shouldn’t pay taxes’? okay, I’ll give Bezos a free pass on ‘no taxes’ — of course he’d love that idea. but what else? ‘let’s get the Strait of Hormuz shut down’? ‘let’s build an Epstein Dance Hall’? are these the good ideas?

like Todd Blanche, Jeff Bezos needs to keep in Dear Leader’s good graces. Bezos has government contracts that he doesn’t want Donny to rip to shreds — so, like Blanche, he has to go on TV and spew shit that’s patently false, for an Audience of One.

but come on — Bezos’ net worth is two hundred and sixty one BILLION dollars. you would think with that kind of money, he could tell Donny to fuck off forever. hell, I do it every day, pretty much for free. but the greed of the billionaire class is bottomless, and so Bezos has very publicly make smoochie moochie smoochie all over Dear Leader’s rotting ass.

ugh.

time to spin again.

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this time it landed on GOP Vice Chair Blake Moore, who’s in the middle of speechifying.

“our Republican priority will always be to put government ahead of Americans.”

holy shit, Blake just screamed the quiet part out loud, didn’t he?

I don’t even want to know what the context was. this is like when you’re in the hotel from the Shining and you open the door and some dude is getting a hummer from a guy in a bear costume. what the fuck?

you just want to shut the door and get the hell out of there — so let’s spin that Big Wheel one final time.

ready?

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oh look, it landed on Dear Leader. you knew it was inevitable.

“change is going to happen. change that we can’t even think of right now. the things will happen and— I believe for the best, hopefully for the best, but I believe for the best. but things will happen that you can’t even— imagine. and it’s gonna be— very exciting, but the way that’s going to haaaaaappen is— through thinking big. nothing great was ever built. think of that. nothing great was ever built without the word ‘momentum’ at your side. in— times of your life, you’ll have— momentum. that’s the time you go for it.”

that, my friends, was the actual president of the United States, delivering an incomprehensible fucktangle of gibberish in front of the graduating class of the United States Coast Guard Academy in New London, Connecticut.

imagine being an Academy cadet, working hard for four years, and finally, when it comes time to get your diploma and become an officer, you get to watch some feeble fuck who can barely read drone on about ‘change is going to happen, change we can’t even think of, change like no one thought possible, maybe the greatest change of all time,’ and something something something momentum.

whatever you say, grandpa.

who thought this was a good idea? I’m sure that inside Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants’ rapidly-liquifying cortex, he imagined he was delivering a barn-burner, but no. Donny can’t hack it any more. get him a pudding cup, and stop dragging him out to make speeches. it’s just elder abuse at this point.

my god, this nightmare is never going to end.

“but we’re making right now, currently under construction we have ELEVEN bra— a beautiful and I said come on, when’s the first one coming, they said in ’28, I said I’m going to be here in ’28, maybe I’ll be here in ’32, too, I don’t know. maybe I will. but I’m going to be here in ’28.”

can you imagine what a drooling mess Donny is going to be in 2032, should he still be with us?

you know, there’s a story — possibly apocryphal — about how when Donny’s daddy Fred was completely lost to Alzheimer’s, his family built him a fake office where he would go every day to sign fake papers and have fake phone conversations with his secretary. having a familiar place to go every day kept old Fred happy and out of trouble.

can we just do that with Donny? can we build him a fake Oval Bordello down at his Florida golf motel, and let him sit there all day long, signing fake executive orders and holding fake press conferences? we could even put a fake Big Red Button on his fake Resolute Desk, so he could fake-nuke Iran.

we’d actually be doing him — and the world — a huge favor.

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enough of this stupidity. let’s have us some Daily Claudia.

speaking of graduating, here we are on May 21, 2014 — twelve years ago today — the day Katie went from being an engineering student to being an actual engineer.

here’s Ms Spouse, out standing in her field, on September 17, 2019.

and here she is in our living room, exact date unknown. somehow the time-stamp on this photo went fuckity-bye. it’s an injustice, but as Todd Blanche so wisely counsels us, injustice happens.

that’s it for me today, folks. have a great Thursday. don’t go on TV and say stupid shit.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.