409 Comments

When my cats eyes went completely rogue from each other the vet said it was due to a tumor and we had to put her to sleep.

America should be so lucky …

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Someone please take him to a vet.

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Euthanasia, it's for the best.

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For all of us.

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LOL! love it!

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I hear Kristi Noem has a solution ...

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LOL. Just too damn funny. "Here Cricket. Make a little bed in that gravel pit now. Bug eyes require making tough calls. This will hurt me more than you."

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Dress him up as Crickett and take him to her.

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founding

They also have a solution on the show Yellowstone. Don't take him to the airport, take him to the train station.

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It just got banned from Native American reservations for Making Shit Up about them working with Mexican cartels.

I see a resignation in its future.

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I'm sorry for your loss.

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Be sure to make him first if you don't want to get stuffed.

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Shit himself or shat himself … perhaps both!!

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That was a total typo post. Meant to say make him PAY first or you'll get Stiffed. I blame autocorrect! It's still trying to turn stiff into stuff. It did it again!!

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founding

They want payment upfront. You know that's not gonna happen!

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At least get him neutered, even if it is fourty years too late.

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I've seen fish at the local aquarium that have eyes just like that.

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He caught the cross eye from Sarah Huckabee and Cash Patel.

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Sarah Huckabee's crossed eye and jacked up teeth are from inbreeding. 💯

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$arah Huckster Slanders' fked-up eyes could be from taking Dayquil and Nyquil at the same time.

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🤣 🤣 🤣

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You ℎ𝑎𝑑 to mention Patel, didn't you.

It's OK, I usually feel better after I puke.

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Scavino has some creepy peepers too 👀

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Stephan Miller has serial killer eyes, dead, and blanked of emotion.

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Looks like a stroke to me. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

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The lord jebus’ version of the slow death penalty!

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Ohmygod…I’m still laughing…

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🤞🤞🤞🤞

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Calling Kristi Noem.

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Kristi who just said she is going to vote for Trump, whether or not that is true.

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Oh please make this to be true!!!!!!!!!!

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Can we have a moment of national prayer about THIS you Christofascists?

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So sorry about your cat.

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Seriously, is that photo modified?

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Thank you for the link

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Hyperthyroidy affects both eyes

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Wouldn’t that be sweet. Please, please, please. Where to sign up to make our plea to on high. Would save a nation. Would save the world. If there is an on high, show us. Show us.

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Tumor was my first thought, too. I don’t like being happy about someone else’s misfortune, but since he has no respect for anyone or anything… I’m okay with a tumor as long as it’s discovered before the guy lucks back into the White House.

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You know that any serious condition (and all the trivial ones, too) has been diagnosed and is being treated with the best that science has to offer. Very stable genius, also by far more fit than Obama!

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‘This tumor of mine is like something never seen before! It’s the biggliest and healthiest tumor and it adds to my superior intelligence.’

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You are so full of it. Obama is fit and healthy, Trump hasn't had any exercise since his teens. He eats greasy garbage and drinks artificial sweeteners.

And if you think his top-of-the-line medical care compensates for anything, why does he get worse every month?

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It was sarcasm. I thought it was obvious.

I was quoting trump, who claimed that the WH doc said he was by far ("no contest") more fit than Obama. Just like trump had the biggest inauguration crowd in history.

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Many blessings on you and yours.

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Terrible grief the loss of a loved pet. Condolences from me and my cats 🐈‍⬛ 💔🐾

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My condolences on the loss of your cat. I lost my own in February. My heart with yours.

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Is Strabismus a side effect from Ozempic?

(It’s getting more difficult lately to call him “the bloated yam.“)

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We now know with absolute certainty that prayer does not work. How, you ask? Welp, that filthy, diseased-ridden nazi shit stain is still alive.........

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🙏🏽 does work.

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Yeah that's why His Mercifulness lets infants die of leukemia.

Mysterious Ways.

Get out of here.

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As Kendrick Lamar likes to say; "Sit down. Be humble." Listen some time. It's catchy.

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(I mean to agree with you about Lisa sitting down before annnnnyone reads that wrong.)

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founding

No no. It’s not for us to understand. Doncha know?

And he NEVER gives us more than we can handle. Right? Let’s hear from those who have died by suicide.

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The very concept of evidence eludes you somehow.

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You must be in the wrong group. Delusional is down the hall......

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There's a bug in Substack that places some replies at the wrong level.

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I was agreeing with you. Can you read, sir?

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Nope. Can't read. I've been faking it lo these many a year and I've been found out. My long con is over. I obviously misinterpreted whatever the fuck you said.

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.......all kidding aside, I don't think I was the only one who thought you meant something else.

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My meaning was clear. I think you thought I was replying to you and not Lisa if you don't mind me saying.

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Evidently 🤔

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Iron-age mythology has no place in this issue.

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We're gonna agree to disagree on that one.

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Prayer is about as effective as flipping a coin.

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Flipping a coin at least gets some kind of result.

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Gypsy Rose Lee said, about prayer; " It's like a rocking chair, you might feel like you're doing something, but you're not getting anywhere ".

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May 22·edited May 22

Oh FOH with that shite—read the room, Lisa!

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I pray Biden wins. Don’t tell me to read the room. That’s what I meant. Isn’t this a safe place?

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It generally is a safe place, however the vast majority of the people who subscribe to Jeff & comment here are either agnostic, or atheist & therefore believe in actually doing something to affect the future rather than praying.

Also I think many of us have become seriously angry with the horrendous cruelty & hypocrisy of religion since so many professed Christians have chosen to throw their lot in with Trump.

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Prayer has zero effect on anything. There have been studies. If it makes you feel better, great, but if you think it actually accomplishes anything then you need a shrink.

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Sorry, internet landmines abound—my apologies!

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Scott, thank you for providing proof! Finally! 😄

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I'm comfortable with that conclusion, based on a lifetime of empirical evidence...........and a ton of swearing.

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Amen!

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Thank you Jeff.

The MAGA-controlled GOP, who now talk about a "unified Reich" clearly maintains mad respect for prior war criminals. It seems their mantra has been crafted by Goebbels ...

“Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.”

― Joseph Goebbels

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I once posted a bunch of Goebbels quotes - don't remember if it was Twitter, facebook or where, but they took it down. Maybe they didn't sense the sarcasm?

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author

algorithms don't understand irony or sarcasm. many years ago I responded to a Paul Ryan tweet with "why don't we just grind up half of all poor people and feed them to the other half" and ended up doing a 7-day stint in twitter jail for advocating harm

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Soylent Orange.

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Jeff, I once said Trump was qualified for the death penalty and went to twitter jail for that. But I appealed and asked them to prove my statement wrong or harmful & got out.

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founding

Zucky was scared of that one. Boo!

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😂😂

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Lol - apparently not

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Sigh....

Well, there's that.

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I just had an issue with Zuckerberg's Facebook. They didn't like a story from the Associated Press -it violated 'community' standards. It's one of several important reasons we're building https://civ.works.

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I must have spent a year, all together in ZUCKATRAZ, for being Liberal. I got kicked off Twitter too, with all the others who sued.

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I had the same sort of problem trying to post Joyce Vance’s Substack. Since she has a FB page and had posted there, I just shared to my page 🙄.

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I think Facebook and Twitter/X believe fact-based writing (like Joyce Vance) clearly goes against ‘community’ standards.

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I see the site is up! I will email you. Thanks

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Very grateful. Our development team is in the midst of some important fixes and functionality -I've been trying to fund the work as quickly as I can.

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I am all in...keep me or us info6.

Liked your book and the big print.

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I once asked if someone could just "smack this guy" -Orange Jesus- and within 1/8th of a second got the message, "after careful review, we have determined your post has violated Xitter rules".

"You must admit guilt to start your probationary period which ends in 72 hours."

Careful review.

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And just to verify - is Xitter pronounced 'Shitter'?

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It is in my house! 🤣

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Ditto. I was wondering if " he could wander off the mortal coil, already" and got the handcuffs, for a week. Sheesh

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When I got back on after a year or so, my first act, before reading or writing a word, was to block Ron Filipkowski. He forwards every single Trump post from his vanity network, corroding the souls of all readers for likes. If I want to read Trump, I can get an account on TS.

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OMG, that is awful and good to know. One of the many reasons not to go there any more. You really don't know what you are responding to.

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Click here to grovel and wet yourself. If it's the algorithm, it's a suspension. If it's a report by a they-them, it's a ban.

Yeah, careful review. I wonder who they think they're kidding.

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Some illiterate knucklewalker clicked report.

They say "after careful examination" but that is total BS. Report means suspension. No Patel is involved.

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Who would have thought that 40% of American voters learned nothing from history?

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Or history simply isn’t taught. Like in Florida because the egregious behavior of prior generations might hurt sensitive feelings.

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As you remember from public school, at least 40% of the kids in the class don't give a shit about learning anything. It's just human nature I think. (Which is why 40%+ are now susceptible to media misinformation)

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Strange but true. A other WTF moment to share or what?

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I got a 30 day FB ban for using that quote once, 'hate speech' ya know. You can't really start a cult without media,and social media these days.

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Facebook recently warned me that an Associated Press news article I posted violated "community" standards.

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Which " community " right?

Sheesh

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The reich one for Farcebook.

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I was permanently banned from the Daily Kos about 20 years ago for daring to write that "intelligent people still have questions about what happened on 9/11/01."

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The 3rd reich’s leader the orange menace so loves took citizenship away from those who didn’t meet the Aryan level of purity he espoused. Expect the same here if Magats grab the power to do so.

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Aside from prison time I do think those who attack or wage an insurrection (or fund one) should lose citizenship -and it could then be transferred to a refugee who will actually embrace democracy, justice, and equality.

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May 22·edited May 22

I like your idea. What I meant was that German citizens — people who were born there — were stripped of their citizenship for being the wrong color, religion, or opposing Hitler in ways other than an insurrection or assassination attempt. Anyone who isn’t maga, white, male, & their brand of Christian is vulnerable to being deported in Project 2025 because, as in Germany, our citizenship will be taken away for not being a white male Christofascist.

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Didn't Trump's grandpa lose his German citizenship because he avoided or missed his civil/ army duty?

Then they shipped him back to the USA. Go figure.

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Not sure whether it was his father or grandfather who was AWOL & deported from Germany. Trumps are hate-filled chicken shits one & all.

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I posted advice that Jeff wouldn't like and got banned. Slapping a face is violence?

"Good," I said, and stayed off. No more Ron Filipkowski being Trump's stenogapher.

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author

I did what now?

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From Twitter, not from here. Saved me from the need to gin up the will.

Happier off it.

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Trump to Alyssa Farah in the White House: “Say anything you want. Just repeat it and they will believe you.”

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Seems to work about 40% of the time...sheesh.

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Goddam I love that photo. Everything you wrote before that photo had me raging. Now I’m just laughing hysterically. Oy, vey what an image.

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Something seriously wrong with that popeye thing. Good.

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His two brain cells are giving conflicting information!

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Some kind of pressure change when that 10lb diaper load landed!

Trump so busy, busy with makeup and hairstyling now has to work on that crazy-eye. Apparently, the work never stops with Trump image-fixing!

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founding

Yeah. That’s really weird. Why haven’t we seen this before? Is there truth in the cat/vet/tumor story? Is something growing, pressing against his brain?

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He looks like the guy that was in several Mel Brooks movies….. his name escapes me.

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Marty Feldman

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Thank you!

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He does look like he's touching cloth in a big way...whoops...

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I don’t think it’s cloth he’s touching. 💩

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A mass of his favorite dessert.

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The last sentence 🤣🤣🤣. So good!!Why in the name of all that is holy can ANYONE support this crazed piece of shit???

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The best explanation I’ve heard is that you have to think of MAGA like a religion or a cult (all religions are cults, but I digress), and not as a political movement per se. The digging in, even when evidence against a deeply held belief is overwhelming, is what’s happening. It makes absolutely no sense to a reasonable person that Trump would get even a single vote given what we now know. But to people who see him as a “savior” sent to return to them an America they feel they’re in danger of losing forever? They would die for him. It’s utterly maddening.

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You're so right. Cult/Religion is what it is.

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It's a mystery!

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The question I keep asking!

Perhaps when the ridiculous gets too be too much the cult love will move on. Hoping anyway.

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Tumor is the first thing I thought of. That guy needs a CAT scan stat.

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Would love a neurologist’s opinion on this

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And perhaps a GI doctor who could tell us if the demented fuckface was in the middle of blowing a load or the rodents upstairs were fighting over the last of the chewed up wires. Regardless, that look is beyond abnormal and that picture needs to be widely circulated for the sake of sanity and the future of our democracy. You can't make this shit up.

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I think a couple of hundred neurologists have already touched on the subject of his brain...

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Dr Bandy Lee

DUTY TO WARN

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Actually it’s a total of 4000 psychiatrists & psychologists including Dr Bandy Lee who wrote a book about Donny’s severe mental disorders because they felt that they had a “Duty To Warn” society about him, that he is an extreme danger.

One of that group is on the David Pakman podcast on YT recently & he was urging anyone close to the orange menace to press him to get a CT scan, an MRI, & a full neurological examination.

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Thanks for the info P.J. Take care. How we got here is a mystery to me.

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Does empty space show up on a CT or MRI?

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Both. As do signs of stroke…. Just saying 🤔

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Just hoping! FINGERS Crossed and how do we get more salt in his meals? Oh, hell, can't we just push him out of a helicohe'll,;>)

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founding

"Bluffoonery" is genius.

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Uncouth buffoon

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Winner, winner chicken dinner!

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What does Von Shitzinpants have over our nation's press that they don't report on the truth about him while splashing Trump’s lies about Biden all over their sites?

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May 22·edited May 22

He's got the "morbidly rich" behind him - they literally run this country with their bought and paid for politicians and judges. And they are as a group the largest corporate shareholders, including corporate media.

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😡

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And often just as mentally defective and / or sociopathic.

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It's all about the money.

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Simple, corporate greed and power.

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When the Republicans banned abortions it wasn't about saving 'babies". It was the first step in controlling women's bodies. Now they want to ban contraceptives that prevent pregnancy. So women should just stay pregnant and shut up??!

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Of course! If Republicans were truly “pro life”, they would help the children AFTER they were born

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Yeah, the fact that they actively oppose helping already-born people really undermines their "pro-life" bullshit. As George Carlin said many years ago, they only care from conception to 9 months – after that, you're on your own. They want to roll back the sexual revolution so we women have to dependent on men again — primarily financially. It also ties into wanting to eliminate no-fault divorce so a women can't escape an abusive POS husband. Barefoot, pregnant, and trapped.

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Women are already depending on men. Just this morning I heard an article on Morning Edition (NPR) that more and more men are getting vasectomies since abortion is outlawed in certain states. And maybe they want to make sure they don’t have to pay child support for 18 years. Or, if they have kids, their families are complete. It’s good to hear that some men are taking responsibility for contraception instead of it always being the woman’s burden.

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Bravo to all men who get a vasectomy. It's the right thing to do if you have your family or if you want to assist the ladies.

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That is definitely not hyperbole, it’s exactly where this is headed.

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It was all a lie- Stuart Stevens

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LYSISTRATA ! That'll teach 'em !

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Absolutely, watch Shiny Happy People on Amazon Prime. It’s not new but numerous people have told me to watch it & I finally did 2 days ago. Those people are scary as shit & they are infiltrated all in our govt & judiciary.

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I thought that's what we dreamed of while we were working our asses off in college.

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I hope that there are blood vessels in his head that are bugling in the same way his eyeball was in this picture.

He'll stroke-out, shit himself, and save American democracy all in one terminal, but highly entertaining and satisfying, finale.

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Please, Lord. Hear our prayer.

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Dementia closing in.

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By the September debate, he will have lost control of his saliva

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It is my fervent hope Chauncey. However he seems to continue to tic tic toc.

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founding

This shit is terrifying. Please someone make it stop ‼️

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Arterial plaque and cholesterol are unfortunately our best hope right now

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I will take that too.

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His brain is like swiss cheese, from inherited Alzheimers.

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If something were to happen to him close to the election, I really wouldn't put it past that bunch to prop him up, a la "Weekend at Bernie's" and try to pull a fast one on the whole county.

Or they'd have some kind of conspiracy and MTG and the wingnut-outrage MAGA-pie chorus would be hysterically screaming at whoever puts a microphones in their faces about Biden and the Democrats Murder, Inc....MTG is already accusing Biden of wanting to assassinate the POS.

No...I just want him defeated so that all the cases that he's been able to stymie can finally put him in jail.

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I agree but there is a possibility that the guardrails will fail this time and despite a definitive loss our Supreme Court will decide he is the rightful President. It has happened before. I do fear this possibility.

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Euthanasia would be the kindest thing.😑

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Too kind in my opinion.

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I don't know if you saw this, Jeff, but I thought of you as soon as I read it...I'm not witty enough to imagine how you would write about this, but I know it would be masterful!! "Minnesota GOP picks far-right conspiracy theorist in bizarre Senate endorsement

It says a lot about the modern GOP that they are truly incapable of nominating anyone to run for office who isn't some off-putting weirdo with a brain utterly rotted with right-wing conspiracies. Royce White, a former NBA player-turned-MAGA-conspiracy theorist who frequents Alex Jones' InfoWars show, was overwhelmingly endorsed by Republicans as they look to oust Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar, and it didn't take long before White started making waves on social media for posting about his penis...and that's the tame part. White’s nüTwitter feed is littered with outlandish posts referring to Democrats as “bitches,” “f*gs,” “whores," and "c*nts." He's also declared that “the real issue is the Jews!” The GOP picked this asshole to run for SENATE. There is no bottom on the right."

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Wow! Let’s pray Amy wins-she’s so good!!

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All these pleas for praying, is getting on my Atheist nerves.

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Me too. 🙄 what are they praying to? FFS

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The invisible sky daddy. It's all about the PATRIARCHY.

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Yeah.... anyone who asks god for anything, prays, amens or puts praying hands up doesn't get read.

Fuck that stuff.....

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Well…I admit I do not “pray”- but looking up synonyms-this is the only word that makes sense to me😊

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Right?!

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The Washington state Rethuglican party just endorsed some unknown black guy named Semi Bird as their candidate for governor to run against the very accomplished current AG named Bob Ferguson. BTW, those fkers also recruited two guys with the same name to run in the Dem primary just to fuck things up for the real Bob Ferguson. They dropped out once the story was known. Lie, cheat, steal, and worse. It's the Rethuglican way!

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It was WA state, where I'm registered, that nominated Pat Robertson instead of GHWB. Later their governor nom was Ellen "Crazy" Craswell. Seattle used to be liberal, now it's woke, but the eastern part of the state is like Idaho.

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Is Semi Bird only semi-literate?

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Jesus H Christ!!! The brain worms are munching their way through the entire Republican Party!!

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Yes, I don't think there's any hope left for that party, which isn't even a party anymore, rather it's a cult of Trump. They need to dissolve and start from scratch. What they'll start with God only knows!! We need massive Democrat majorities in all 3 branches for the foreseeable future so we can preserve democracy and get some shit done. Meanwhile, some decent people may rise up to create a functional party to represent all the decent conservatives who may be holding their noses and voting Democrat just to keep our democracy going. That's my dream anyway.

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This "Reich" nonsense made me weep.

My beloved father-in-law Ben fought bravely in the Battle of the Bulge against Adolf Hitler and the Nazis. His WWII experiences changed him and haunted him for the rest of his life.

I'm glad he's not here to see this shit.

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How did this orange sociopath rise to power? Maybe he did internalize the ghost of Hitler by reading Hitler’s speeches at bedtime, as his deceased ex-wife Ivana alleged.

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Good question… how could such a tarnished man rise to power? Just the sight of him makes me want to “avert my eyes”

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It's not new. Cruelty Conservatism came over on the Mayflower and it's waxed and waned but since 1900 mostly waxed. Lost with Goldwater, won with Reagan, then Bush, and now an honest-to-god fascist with an 85 IQ and a very sick personality.

America needs to split so conservative ideology kills them off.

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Rose to power? Blame Hilary

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total BS.

One would think that if you were really on a first name basis with Sen. Clinton, you could at least spell her name.

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founding

😢

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Anyone who is nearly 78 years old and who has a brain avoids stress. I will be 73 on Election Day this year and I am doing all I can not to stress out about it. Some Republican dofuss may harass me at the voting place. I will trash his ass if I have to.

The picture is of a jackass who is not in control of anything. Not his bodily functions or of getting from one place to another. He may make it to his 78th birthday but I don't expect him to make it to my 73rd.

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I’ll be 84 in a few day, I’m trying to avoid stress too, but the GOP and MSM make it all but impossible.

That photo is eerie!

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