404 Comments

When my cats eyes went completely rogue from each other the vet said it was due to a tumor and we had to put her to sleep.

America should be so lucky …

Expand full comment

Someone please take him to a vet.

Expand full comment

Euthanasia, it's for the best.

Expand full comment

For all of us.

Expand full comment

LOL! love it!

Expand full comment

I hear Kristi Noem has a solution ...

Expand full comment

LOL. Just too damn funny. "Here Cricket. Make a little bed in that gravel pit now. Bug eyes require making tough calls. This will hurt me more than you."

Expand full comment

Dress him up as Crickett and take him to her.

Expand full comment

They also have a solution on the show Yellowstone. Don't take him to the airport, take him to the train station.

Expand full comment

It just got banned from Native American reservations for Making Shit Up about them working with Mexican cartels.

I see a resignation in its future.

Expand full comment

Love it

Expand full comment

If only...

Expand full comment

I'm sorry for your loss.

Expand full comment

Be sure to make him first if you don't want to get stuffed.

Expand full comment

Shit himself or shat himself … perhaps both!!

Expand full comment

That was a total typo post. Meant to say make him PAY first or you'll get Stiffed. I blame autocorrect! It's still trying to turn stiff into stuff. It did it again!!

Expand full comment

They want payment upfront. You know that's not gonna happen!

Expand full comment

At least get him neutered, even if it is fourty years too late.

Expand full comment

I've seen fish at the local aquarium that have eyes just like that.

Expand full comment

He caught the cross eye from Sarah Huckabee and Cash Patel.

Expand full comment

Sarah Huckabee's crossed eye and jacked up teeth are from inbreeding. 💯

Expand full comment

$arah Huckster Slanders' fked-up eyes could be from taking Dayquil and Nyquil at the same time.

Expand full comment

🤣 🤣 🤣

Expand full comment

😄😂

Expand full comment

You ℎ𝑎𝑑 to mention Patel, didn't you.

It's OK, I usually feel better after I puke.

Expand full comment

Scavino has some creepy peepers too 👀

Expand full comment

Stephan Miller has serial killer eyes, dead, and blanked of emotion.

Expand full comment

😂😂

Expand full comment

Looks like a stroke to me. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Expand full comment

The lord jebus’ version of the slow death penalty!

Expand full comment

Ohmygod…I’m still laughing…

Expand full comment

🤞🤞🤞🤞

Expand full comment

Calling Kristi Noem.

Expand full comment

Kristi who just said she is going to vote for Trump, whether or not that is true.

Expand full comment

Oh please make this to be true!!!!!!!!!!

Expand full comment

Can we have a moment of national prayer about THIS you Christofascists?

Expand full comment

So sorry about your cat.

Expand full comment

Seriously, is that photo modified?

Expand full comment

Thank you for the link

Expand full comment

Hyperthyroidy affects both eyes

Expand full comment

Wouldn’t that be sweet. Please, please, please. Where to sign up to make our plea to on high. Would save a nation. Would save the world. If there is an on high, show us. Show us.

Expand full comment

Tumor was my first thought, too. I don’t like being happy about someone else’s misfortune, but since he has no respect for anyone or anything… I’m okay with a tumor as long as it’s discovered before the guy lucks back into the White House.

Expand full comment

You know that any serious condition (and all the trivial ones, too) has been diagnosed and is being treated with the best that science has to offer. Very stable genius, also by far more fit than Obama!

Expand full comment

‘This tumor of mine is like something never seen before! It’s the biggliest and healthiest tumor and it adds to my superior intelligence.’

Expand full comment

You are so full of it. Obama is fit and healthy, Trump hasn't had any exercise since his teens. He eats greasy garbage and drinks artificial sweeteners.

And if you think his top-of-the-line medical care compensates for anything, why does he get worse every month?

Expand full comment

It was sarcasm. I thought it was obvious.

I was quoting trump, who claimed that the WH doc said he was by far ("no contest") more fit than Obama. Just like trump had the biggest inauguration crowd in history.

Expand full comment

Many blessings on you and yours.

Expand full comment

Terrible grief the loss of a loved pet. Condolences from me and my cats 🐈‍⬛ 💔🐾

Expand full comment

My condolences on the loss of your cat. I lost my own in February. My heart with yours.

Expand full comment

Is Strabismus a side effect from Ozempic?

(It’s getting more difficult lately to call him “the bloated yam.“)

Expand full comment

We now know with absolute certainty that prayer does not work. How, you ask? Welp, that filthy, diseased-ridden nazi shit stain is still alive.........

Expand full comment

🙏🏽 does work.

Expand full comment

Yeah that's why His Mercifulness lets infants die of leukemia.

Mysterious Ways.

Get out of here.

Expand full comment

As Kendrick Lamar likes to say; "Sit down. Be humble." Listen some time. It's catchy.

Expand full comment

(I mean to agree with you about Lisa sitting down before annnnnyone reads that wrong.)

Expand full comment

No no. It’s not for us to understand. Doncha know?

And he NEVER gives us more than we can handle. Right? Let’s hear from those who have died by suicide.

Expand full comment

The very concept of evidence eludes you somehow.

Expand full comment

You must be in the wrong group. Delusional is down the hall......

Expand full comment

There's a bug in Substack that places some replies at the wrong level.

Expand full comment

I was agreeing with you. Can you read, sir?

Expand full comment

Nope. Can't read. I've been faking it lo these many a year and I've been found out. My long con is over. I obviously misinterpreted whatever the fuck you said.

Expand full comment

.......all kidding aside, I don't think I was the only one who thought you meant something else.

Expand full comment

My meaning was clear. I think you thought I was replying to you and not Lisa if you don't mind me saying.

Expand full comment

Evidently 🤔

Expand full comment

Iron-age mythology has no place in this issue.

Expand full comment

We're gonna agree to disagree on that one.

Expand full comment

Prayer is about as effective as flipping a coin.

Expand full comment

Flipping a coin at least gets some kind of result.

Expand full comment

Gypsy Rose Lee said, about prayer; " It's like a rocking chair, you might feel like you're doing something, but you're not getting anywhere ".

Expand full comment

Oh FOH with that shite—read the room, Lisa!

Expand full comment

I pray Biden wins. Don’t tell me to read the room. That’s what I meant. Isn’t this a safe place?

Expand full comment

It generally is a safe place, however the vast majority of the people who subscribe to Jeff & comment here are either agnostic, or atheist & therefore believe in actually doing something to affect the future rather than praying.

Also I think many of us have become seriously angry with the horrendous cruelty & hypocrisy of religion since so many professed Christians have chosen to throw their lot in with Trump.

Expand full comment

Prayer has zero effect on anything. There have been studies. If it makes you feel better, great, but if you think it actually accomplishes anything then you need a shrink.

Expand full comment

Sorry, internet landmines abound—my apologies!

Expand full comment

Amen 😬😬😬😬

Expand full comment

R'amen!

Expand full comment

🍜

Expand full comment

Scott, thank you for providing proof! Finally! 😄

Expand full comment

I'm comfortable with that conclusion, based on a lifetime of empirical evidence...........and a ton of swearing.

Expand full comment

Amen!

Expand full comment

Thank you Jeff.

The MAGA-controlled GOP, who now talk about a "unified Reich" clearly maintains mad respect for prior war criminals. It seems their mantra has been crafted by Goebbels ...

“Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it.”

― Joseph Goebbels

Expand full comment

I once posted a bunch of Goebbels quotes - don't remember if it was Twitter, facebook or where, but they took it down. Maybe they didn't sense the sarcasm?

Expand full comment

algorithms don't understand irony or sarcasm. many years ago I responded to a Paul Ryan tweet with "why don't we just grind up half of all poor people and feed them to the other half" and ended up doing a 7-day stint in twitter jail for advocating harm

Expand full comment

Soylent Orange.

Expand full comment

Jeff, I once said Trump was qualified for the death penalty and went to twitter jail for that. But I appealed and asked them to prove my statement wrong or harmful & got out.

Expand full comment

Zucky was scared of that one. Boo!

Expand full comment

😂😂

Expand full comment

Lol - apparently not

Expand full comment

Sigh....

Well, there's that.

Expand full comment

I just had an issue with Zuckerberg's Facebook. They didn't like a story from the Associated Press -it violated 'community' standards. It's one of several important reasons we're building https://civ.works.

Expand full comment

I must have spent a year, all together in ZUCKATRAZ, for being Liberal. I got kicked off Twitter too, with all the others who sued.

Expand full comment

I had the same sort of problem trying to post Joyce Vance’s Substack. Since she has a FB page and had posted there, I just shared to my page 🙄.

Expand full comment

I think Facebook and Twitter/X believe fact-based writing (like Joyce Vance) clearly goes against ‘community’ standards.

Expand full comment

I see the site is up! I will email you. Thanks

Expand full comment

Very grateful. Our development team is in the midst of some important fixes and functionality -I've been trying to fund the work as quickly as I can.

Expand full comment

I am all in...keep me or us info6.

Liked your book and the big print.

Expand full comment

I once asked if someone could just "smack this guy" -Orange Jesus- and within 1/8th of a second got the message, "after careful review, we have determined your post has violated Xitter rules".

"You must admit guilt to start your probationary period which ends in 72 hours."

Careful review.

Expand full comment

And just to verify - is Xitter pronounced 'Shitter'?

Expand full comment

It is in my house! 🤣

Expand full comment

Ditto. I was wondering if " he could wander off the mortal coil, already" and got the handcuffs, for a week. Sheesh

Expand full comment

When I got back on after a year or so, my first act, before reading or writing a word, was to block Ron Filipkowski. He forwards every single Trump post from his vanity network, corroding the souls of all readers for likes. If I want to read Trump, I can get an account on TS.

Expand full comment

OMG, that is awful and good to know. One of the many reasons not to go there any more. You really don't know what you are responding to.

Expand full comment

Click here to grovel and wet yourself. If it's the algorithm, it's a suspension. If it's a report by a they-them, it's a ban.

Yeah, careful review. I wonder who they think they're kidding.

Expand full comment

Some illiterate knucklewalker clicked report.

They say "after careful examination" but that is total BS. Report means suspension. No Patel is involved.

Expand full comment

Who would have thought that 40% of American voters learned nothing from history?

Expand full comment