Bone Saw Arabia buys big boy preznit his own happy meal

scenes from Donny’s Middle East Griftapalooza

it’s just so fucking embarrassing to watch Mad King Donny represent America on the world stage. he’s monumentally stupid. he’s crass and uncouth, and his rancid anus-mouth has no filter — at any moment, he’s liable to blurt out random, inappropriate gibberish.

but above all, he’s utterly unaware of just how easily manipulated he is. flatter him, hand him a few shiny baubles, and this bottomless pit of neediness becomes putty in your hands — and all We the People can do is cringe as we watch this buffoon being led around by his nose.

Donny was in Saudi Arabia yesterday — and look what the Saudis did for our Big Boy President.

that’s right, Bone Saw Arabia built a custom-made rolling McDonalds for Donny — because god forbid this overgrown toddler endure an entire day without jamming a greasy wad of fat down his engorged gullet.

isn’t that special?

As the Saudis work to impress Trump during his trip to Riyadh this week, they’re focusing on even the smallest details—like his fondness for the Golden Arches—by setting up a custom-built mobile McDonald’s truck designed to support the presidential visit and the throng of journalists in tow.

how mortifying is it that our president can be bought off for a few burgers?

last time Donny visited Bone Saw Arabia, in 2017, they got him involved in some weird-ass sword dance.

and they let him put his freakishly-undersized fists on a glowing orb.

but this time? here’s your happy meal, fuckface. now give us what we want.

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oh look, President Pudding Cup continues to prove he isn’t up to the rigors of his job.

check out this sleepy baby. he’s so plumb tuckered from his journey that he can barely keep his beady little eyes open.

wake up, Donny — Crown Prince Mohammad Bone Saw is talking.

let’s gif that shit for posterity’s sake.

this dilapidated fuckwit has now slept through cabinet meetings, campaign appearances, Pope Francis’ funeral, his own inauguration — and his own criminal trial.

can someone please get Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants a sippy-cup of warm milk, and tuck him into bed?

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hey, here’s a thing that happened on Monday.

The 42-year-old Syrian leader has reportedly offered Mr Trump investment opportunities, including a Trump tower in Damascus.

now here’s a thing that happened on Tuesday. tell me if you think they might be related.

BREAKING: Trump announced lifting of sanctions on Syria

what’s America getting out of this arrangement? not one fucking thing, that’s what. Donny’s touring the Middle East so he can make personal deals to enrich himself, and the American public can go pound sand up their ass.

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Donny’s in Qatar today, and we all know how they bought him off — with that vulgar airborne bordello.

listen to Donny explain why he needs this plane. it’s pure penis envy. Air Force One is just so tiny and flaccid compared to all the other big, manly planes.

“the plane that you’re in right now is almost forty years old. and when you land and you see Saudi Arabia and you see UAE and you see Qatar and you see— and they have these brand-new Boeing 747s, mostly. and you see ours next to it. this is like a totally different plane. it’s much smaller, much less impressive, as impressive as it is. and, you know, we’re the United States of America. I believe that we should have the most impressive plane … now some people say oh, you shouldn’t accepts gifts. my attitude is why shouldn’t I accept a gift?”

you shouldn’t accept a gift because it’s fucking wrong, you ignorant asshole. it’s specifically forbidden by the Constitution that you imagine somehow doesn’t apply to you.

but look at what’s eating away at Donny: all these Middle Eastern counties ruled over by despotic kings and princes have bigger planes than we do. oh, boo fucking hoo. cry me a river.

this delusional dipshit just doesn’t get it. he’s not royalty — no matter how hard he pretends. he’s a low-rent slumlord from Queens, New York who failed upwards forever until he finally stumbled ass-backwards into the Oval Office.

somehow he imagines that this entitles him to the world’s biggest airplane.

I guarantee that no other democratically-elected leader thinks twice about what they fly around in. it’s just not important. Emmanuel Macron doesn’t give a shit if his plane isn’t the biggest. neither does Mark Carney. neither does the Pope Fucking Leo, for that matter.

but Donny’s so broken-inside that he throws a shit-fit if he doesn’t get the most ice cream. I wish I were making this up.

It has emerged that the President has two scoops of ice cream with his chocolate cream pie while everyone else at the table has just one.

keep in mind that — once again — the American people are getting nothing out of this. Donny gets to keep the plane, and take it home with him after he leaves office — and that’s after hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars are spent making it secure enough to be used as Air Force One.

Converting a luxury jet gifted by Qatar to President Donald Trump into a replacement for Air Force One could potentially cost hundreds of millions of dollars, and it could take up two years to install the necessary security equipment, communications and defensive capabilities for it to be safely used by the commander in chief.

so the American people actually are getting less than nothing out of this “deal.” thanks a fucking lot, Donny.

hey, look who found his voice. look who’s speaking out against Dear Leader accepting four-hundred-million-dollars bribes. it’s the Esteemed Senator Fidel Cancun — the timid lickspittle whose gonads have been marinating in jar on a Motel-a-Lago shelf since 2016.

even Ted knows that accepting trojan-horse gifts from human-rights-abusing fiefdoms is just plain wrong.

“I’m not a fan of Qatar. I think they have a really disturbing pattern of funding theocratic lunatics who want to murder us, funding Hamas and Hezbollah, and that’s a real problem. I also think the plane poses significant espionage and surveillance problems.”

he’s not wrong.

fuck you, Donny, for making me agree with Ted Fucking Cruz.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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