115 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

hi. Jeff of the Future here to note that Trump was allowed to lie about his height and weight, and his arraignment was not televised. but we didn't know that would be the case when I wrote the piece.

Expand full comment
Nevertheless, She Persisted's avatar

But he's 6'2" and 225. Just like Tom Brady.

Expand full comment
NEAL O'CONNOR's avatar

He said he was 6'3" and 215. Celsius on the weight. Or maybe that's Trump's weight on the Moon.

Expand full comment
Rick Calegari's avatar

If only we could find out after a one way trip.

Expand full comment
Nevertheless, She Persisted's avatar

Oops, he's even taller and thinner than I remembered!

Expand full comment
Janan Broadbent's avatar

😆😆😆😆

Expand full comment
Abigail Norling's avatar

Hahahahaha!~

And I'm 6' ans 139 pounds!

Expand full comment
Diana-Sedona's avatar

Hey. Me too and I'm ready to try out for the women's beach volleyball team! 😂.

Expand full comment
Abigail Norling's avatar

Olympic crew for me, but I respect your choice!

Expand full comment
Janan Broadbent's avatar

So am I which is why I was elected Miss Universe!!😆

Expand full comment
CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Let’s stand him up beside Biden, dollars to doughnuts Trump has shrunk at least 3 inches. Just look at his rounded shoulders and those ugly arms just hanging beside his fat body. Now let’s take a look at Biden, tall, shoulders back and as straight as an arrow. Tell me again Donny boy, how tall you are and your weight stark naked. Yuk, better keep some clothes on lest you freak out the young women who idolize young men bodies.

Expand full comment
Dtss's avatar

Eeeewwww. Nudey trump makes me want to burn my eyeballs. Just. No. 😁

Expand full comment
SPW's avatar

Talk to the 🖐🏻 and tell me another one.

Expand full comment
Chris Rey's avatar

ikr?

But he does say he has very manly hands🍄

Expand full comment
Tama2U's avatar

Strawberry blonde ffs!

Expand full comment
Susan Burgess's avatar

Plus that mug shot of his was obviously shopped to make him look like a TV star. Someone set that up. Someone okayed that.

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Dec 26, 2023
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
Susan Burgess's avatar

That could be true but let me ask you this: since this mug shot was going to be a huge moneymaker for him don’t you think he’d want to have as much control as he could get?

Expand full comment
Susan Burgess's avatar

Furthermore, considering everything with Trump is about image, image, image, and considering that he probably has friends on the inside that could pull some strings for him, I’m going with that it was all planned that mug shot

Expand full comment
Charlie Austin's avatar

I guarantee it.

Expand full comment
Charlie Austin's avatar

What a stark contrast. Thank you for keeping Kalif's tragedy in people's minds.

Expand full comment
Monnina's avatar

So fucking angry about Kalief Browder and so many others we never hear about. I know such heinous events are a daily occurrence in our broken justice systems but this rage will never go away until the endemic structural institutional corruption is seen to be being confronted and dissolved. Maybe not even then… 💔

Expand full comment
Steve B's avatar

I'm not only angry about Kalief Browder, but angrier that I'd never heard of his story until today, and that I've had to think about Donald Trump every goddamned day since 2016!

Expand full comment
Nevertheless, She Persisted's avatar

My mother and I were discussing Kalief after reading this piece. If he were white, would he have been forgotten/left by the guards? Probably not. We're white, and recognize the privileges granted to whites.

Expand full comment
George A. Polisner's avatar

Thanks Jeff. I do hope his cell mates and cell block neighbors treat him with the dignity and kindness he so richly deserves.

Expand full comment
Wendy's avatar

Mmm, I love the smell of snark in the morning.

Expand full comment
Charlie Austin's avatar

Smells like...victory.

Expand full comment
Runfastandwin's avatar

Some day this war will end...

Expand full comment
Tama2U's avatar

I see what you did there 😉

Expand full comment
Charlie Austin's avatar

😎😎😎

Expand full comment
Chet Brandt's avatar

I am curious about one thing: will the Secret Service be in the cell with him or in the cell next to him?

Expand full comment
George A. Polisner's avatar

Perhaps just the ones responsible for wiping their text messages. They can use their time to think about why obstruction of justice is a crime. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/secret-service-jan-6-text-messages-erase/

Expand full comment
Charlie Austin's avatar

Excellent idea.

Expand full comment
Dtss's avatar

And another thing, if I were Jack Smith, Fani Willis, any of the judges in the criminal cases, I would say lifelong secret service detail is no longer a perk. It’s definitely not a right.

Expand full comment
DR Darke's avatar

Actually, it is--Obama changed the law back to lifetime Secret Service protection.

Expand full comment
Dtss's avatar

I think he’ll end up in minimum security federal prison in solitary confinement. Security and all.

Wait. Do they have solitary in minimum security federal prisons?

Expand full comment
Kathleen Clarke- Anderson's avatar

Honestly, I believe they have no fucking protocol for secret service in jail- that’s why he’s not in jail. It will take them forever to figure it out. That poor kid sent to Rikers - senseless and criminal. Prayers for that young kid- heartbreaking and prayers that big fucking orange piece of shit hears the cell door lock behind him. Not in the practice for praying for bad things to happen to people- but, just this once.

Expand full comment
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

Hunter Biden, being the son of a current president, has Secret Service protection. that doesn't stop the GOP from calling for his immediate imprisonment

Expand full comment
Robert R's avatar

How ironic! The hypocrisy is deep inside the magat infested Swamp of The Grand Old Party,so’s the putrid stench of its traitors and their Nazi 🐷 leader!

Expand full comment
Chris Rey's avatar

I’ll bet Donito Wannabe-Dicktastor-for-a-day will continue to get 2 scoops of ice cream with dinner after he’s incarcerated. And maybe his SS security may get only one or zero scoops, so they may become resentful, and guard him like Jeffrey Epstein was.

Expand full comment
Dtss's avatar

Do you think the orange cats ass will get McDonald’s delivered? It’s my theory that he is still alive because his McDonald’s diet has caused premature embalmment. If he doesn’t get his Big Mac, can you imagine the hew and outcry from his deluded base? How unfucking fair it is!

Expand full comment
Abigail Norling's avatar

Luscious thought!

Expand full comment
Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Thank you!

Expand full comment
Charlie Austin's avatar

You get one

Expand full comment
Cassandra Here's avatar

Brilliant juxtaposition. I’m seething with rage at the treatment of Kalief and at the treatment, meted out by LDFF, of the Central Park Five. The right’s campaign for law and order is racist, as always. And the right likes to whine when their big, fat, ugly, stinky white guy gets a few much deserved lessons in the rule of law.

Expand full comment
DR Darke's avatar

Oh, Gods! What happened to the Central Park Five was unconscionable—as was the MSM's eager editorializing about it (remember "Wilding"?):

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Central_Park_jogger_case

Expand full comment
Cassandra Here's avatar

Yep. Followed by profiling and harassing.

Expand full comment
DR Darke's avatar

Exactly—the profiling and leaking their names was part of what made it so awful. Worse, nobody outside of the VILLAGE VOICE and Joan Didion was saying "Hey, wait a minute—have the cops done any DNA testing?" (which was available at the time). DNA tests weren't done until 2002 when lifer Matias Reyes, who's Puerto Rican (not Black), had bragged to a cellmate about having done the rape, who flipped on him to a prison guard! They proved conclusively that he had been the rapist, and that the five now-adult defendants (who'd spent over a decade in prison by then) hadn't.

I checked to see if Giuliani had been NYC Mayor then, but no—it was Ed Koch, who was less OPENLY bigoted than His Rudeness but still not what you'd call a "defender of the non-White community". Trump, of course, bloviated about it at the time (how somebody with such a tiny puckered asshole of a mouth can make so much noise is beyond me!), but he was just one of the chorus in the general rush to make a sensation over the case. Of course the cops got confessions—they're very good at coercing false confessions out of scared kids, and it "fit the narrative".... 🤬

Expand full comment
Dtss's avatar

Rudy was United States Attorney for the Southern District of New York in 1989.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/darrensands/giuliani-trump-has-a-pretty-solid-basis-for-saying-central-p

Expand full comment
DR Darke's avatar

Wow.

When it comes to Black People, Giuliani will just go off into Bigot Cloud-Cuckoo-Land, and insist he knows some "deeper truth" that he never has to bother proving!

I think the five men he's attacking in this article should sue him for continuing to defame them as well, so he ends up living on the street begging for money to drink Ripple.

Expand full comment
Dtss's avatar

Agree 💯

Expand full comment
Dtss's avatar

Lest we forget, orange cheeto geezus paid $85k for a full page ad in 4 newspapers demanding the reinstatement of the death penalty for 5 underage teens. I am fairly certain there was no apology when the 5 were exonerated 12 years later.

https://heavy.com/entertainment/2020/08/central-park-five-donald-trump/

Expand full comment
Dtss's avatar

Nope. Not a word of apology. Fuckwad and Giuliani doubled down on the claims.

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/darrensands/giuliani-trump-has-a-pretty-solid-basis-for-saying-central-p

Expand full comment
Lucy Guerlac's avatar

Heartbreaking. Two Americas.

Expand full comment
Dan Beach's avatar

Thanks for the memories. How many more will we generate in 2024. Reading you helps keep this 87-year old somewhat sane. Keep speaking in the vernacular ... it reaches a lot more people that way.

Expand full comment
Tama2U's avatar

No family for Christmas. #Smellytrump doing his all cap furious truths said it all. Sounds pretty fair to me. RIP Kalief Browder.

Expand full comment
Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Thanks. Sometimes the hardest, saddest truths need to be told by those known for their funny side.

Expand full comment
Nevertheless, She Persisted's avatar

Humor goes down so much more easily

Expand full comment
Dawn Marrow's avatar

Wow. Absolutely disgusting. I so appreciate your reminding us of our justice system's partiality toward the rich and powerful....and white. Your posts keep me going, Jeff. I often share them with others. Thank you very much.

Expand full comment
Susan Keefer's avatar

Tragic. Thank you, Jeff, for keeping Kalief’s memory alive.

Fuck Trump.

Expand full comment
Susan Niemann's avatar

Many in this community have suggested you put a book together-you have SO MUCH to reflect upon. This is a good example-and thank you for reminding us of the Kalif tragedy. This coming year is gonna be a helluva chapter in our history.

Expand full comment
Tess's avatar

“Cry me a fucking river-“ and then fall in it and drown your sorry ass! OMG-day after Christmas and THIS is what is coming out on my fingertips??!! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Expand full comment
DR Darke's avatar

If it's Donald "I Never Read MEIN KAMPF" Trump?

I can't think of anything better to enter!

Expand full comment
Kay-El's avatar

To Chump I dedicate the song “Tears of a Clown”. Stop whining you fucking ingrate. Any one of us would be rotting in jail awaiting trial.

To Kalief I dedicate “Everybody Hurts”. I’m sorry you couldn’t hold on. I hope you’re at peace.

Expand full comment
Greg Sanford's avatar

I'm putting you up for a Pulitzer for this one.

Expand full comment
David L McBurnett's avatar

I enjoy every piece you wite. Keep going through 2024!!!

This saga will continue......

Expand full comment