285 Comments
User's avatar
Ann Anderson's avatar

Oh Donny Boy, the pipes, the pipes are calllllling. From autopen to cheating in plain sight. Joe Rogan's gone and all the polls are falllling. It's you, IT'S YOU must go and we must bide.

drosophilist's avatar

But when you're gone, along with all your lying

When you are dead, as dead you may well be

I'll come and find the place where you were buried

And stand on top of it and gladly pee.

Maui Wahine's avatar

These two verses must be sung in front of the White House with a big choir. And bagpipes.

DR Darke's avatar

Your Choir and Bagpipe Corps would have to compete with my Oom-Pah Band's rendition of "Deutschland Uber Alles"—we're bringing tubas!

OTOH, Weird Al Yankovic keeps ignoring my calls to come play accordion.... 😠

drosophilist's avatar

I'd pay money to listen to that!

Hannah's avatar

I'll pay for my own flight.

Andrew's avatar

Just say you have important meetings.

Hannah's avatar

Ha! I used to say that. It pissed my assistant off cuz he never knew where I was.

Patricia Gomes's avatar

I’m unable to come for the grave drench. Would anyone be willing to accept a small donation to the event ? I have a specimen cup that seals tightly and will pack it ( along with surgical gloves) very securely. ?? Anyone ???

Hollie Rood's avatar

Bravo 👏 👏👏 perfect 2nd verse

Cathy 98280's avatar

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣!

DR Darke's avatar

Here's an interesting rathole I went down—"Danny Boy" was originally a poem written in 1910 by Fred Weatherly, an English lawyer, author, and poet, set to "Londonderry Air"—a traditional (i.e., pre-copyright!) Irish folk tune first (in the mid-1850s). Both the music and lyrics are in the public domain.

There's nae Scots in it a'tall, Mon! (Wow, with that talent for Scots accents, I should play Scotty on STAR TREK! 😂 )

Lady Emsworth's avatar

However, there IS a very popular Scots song called "Donald, where's your troosers" - which brings us back to the Epstein case. . .

DR Darke's avatar

Ohh, I LIKE that! 😀 😀 😀

Do you have a link to that song online so I can hear it?

Lady Emsworth's avatar

There y'go:

https://youtu.be/fNi8QUzEroQ?si=GIqXXwDzP0FawRoE

Though you might have to change the lyrics a bit - "Ah'm no very big and Ah'm awfu' shy. . ." is not exactly trump. . . however, "All the ladies say "Hello! Donald - where's you troosers?" does seem to be. . .

DR Darke's avatar

Thank you! 🙏 😀 😁

I love it, but I think Trump would hate Hate HATE it! 🤣 🤣 🤣

Pretty good Elvis as a Scots impersonation.

The song I thought it was was this one, which is a labor song that sounds like a Jacobin war chant, also with a Donald though a far more heroic one—https://youtu.be/8vhhAtTOjt8?si=Splw2GrkbeXcOEs5 .

Hannah's avatar

Perfect! Bravo!

Keith E. Cooper's avatar

You two are the new Rogers and Hammerstein!

Jane's avatar

😂😂😂😂

Kathleen Weber's avatar

It's poetry! For the love of all that is holy!😭😭😭😭😭

Cheryl Seybert's avatar

Absolutely beautiful Ann!! 😂😂😂

arne link's avatar

Ok, that was brilliant, Ann. Now I have an earworm but it's all good.

Ann Anderson's avatar

Genuinely sorry bout that. Earworms are my s.o.p.

Mary Hall's avatar

As a music lover I often get earworms and was advised that the best way to get rid of them is to sing the song all the way through. Your brain is looking for closure.

Ann Anderson's avatar

My brain's looking for a lot of things but here goes. I think the original goes like this?

Oh Danny boy, the pipes the pipes are calling

from glen to glen and down the mountainside

the summer's gone and all the something something

tis you tis you must go and I abide

But something Sooooomething somethiiiiiing.

And hummmmmm mmmm mmm mmm mmm

But come ye baaccck and something something something

uh hmm hmm hmm uh mmm mmm mmm mmm

It worked!

Hannah's avatar

For you maybe. I still hear it.

Ellis Weiner's avatar

Excellent transcription, but next time I urge you to make use of Bertie Wooster's "tumpty-umpty-tum" for those hard-to-get-at places.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I play Danny Boy on my chromatic harmonica. It's one of my main go-to's along with Roy Orbison's 'Crying' for my 'Big Ballads' when someone wants that. I also still have a wee bit of my Scots accent and (drum roll)...my nickname for the last blabbity-blab years is: Scotty, which I still answer to. Even my husband calls me Scotty which brings a lot of odd looks from people but we're used to that. :)

Ann Anderson's avatar

My former m.i.l. was a macleod. Everyone called her scotty

Barbara Rengstorff's avatar

My aunt said that to get rid of a song, sing America The Beautiful. Can’t remember if it worked though.

Patricia Gomes's avatar

Danny Boy was one of my favorite songs , but I will always hear your lyrics from now on. You are forgiven. Brilliant job !!! 🏆🏆🏆

Karen Hall's avatar

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Oregon Larry's avatar

Emmy Grammy Oscar Pulitzer!!! All of them! Still LOLing.

Mark Gottschalk's avatar

Fantastic!!! Had to sing the text!!!!

Hollie Rood's avatar

😂😂😂👏👏👏👏

JOEL's avatar

“Presidential Accident Donald Trump spent part of his weekend in Scotland reviving his old grievances against wind power, even claiming at one point that it was “killing” Americans.”

——-/—-/——/——/——

I know the perfect places to build new wind turbine farms !

Where?

In coastal waters bordering any of Fraud Trump’s golf courses.

Let’s get THAT done!

I’ll donate to that!

Linda Weide's avatar

Let us also shine some solar panels in the direction of his golf courses.

Rick Calegari's avatar

Like a big solar panel farm to compliment those wonderful windmills that irritate the hell out of Dear Cheater. Between bagpipes, alternative energy sources and the many who defy this blabbering moronic asshole, there are plenty of ways to get under the talking turd's very thin skin.

Linda Weide's avatar

Yes Rick, and let's add bright spots, roving over the grounds and into the windows at night all night long and Russian marching music that blares loudly and never shuts off. 24/7

https://youtu.be/IilPTkasc8U?si=jrw9iS8421_Igq_z

or maybe the Red Army Chorus singing all night long, the same song over and over.

https://youtu.be/zgKazTrhXmI?si=fzzmejFX2vEl06y9

Patricia Gomes's avatar

Sounds good. It can be followed with bagpipes for good measure. He’ll have a skirlling good night.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Donny Convict started hating windmills because one was erected within view of his Scotland golf course. But erect some more...there can never be too many windmills!

Punkette's avatar

Dumpty loathes our huge wind farm in the San Gorgonio Pass, north of Palm Springs, California (667 wind turbines). Every time he flies in for some Richie Rich fundraiser, he whines about it. “So ugly,” yadda yadda. Dumbass doesn’t understand that the Coachella Valley energy grid would collapse without our efficient wind farm, especially in the summer months when daytime temperatures can soar to 120+ degrees. Imagine all those air conditioners churning away …

Walt Svirsky's avatar

Shitler doesn’t even know the difference between “windmills” and “wind turbines.” You want tulips with that Big Mac, Shitler?

Linda Weide's avatar

His obnoxious golf course surrounds someone's house. This man should put a wind turbine on his property.

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025/jul/26/not-welcome-scotland-donald-trump-visit-protests-golf-courses

I hope that Scotland puts more windmills up and forces Trump to use their energy and gets rid of fossil fuels totally.

DR Darke's avatar

"And I'll bring my bloodhounds!"

Hmm—would you still get that joke if you won't watch Robin Bailes's DARK CORNERS REVIEWS...? (https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dark+corners+reviews )

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

He “never HAD THE PRIVILEGE” of going to Epstein Island. Wow! I never realized it was considered a privilege to be able to rape minors. How is this comment not being run on a 24/7 loop on every news network around the world?

And I’m nominating that bagpipe player for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

Oh, yes!! He/she is the hero of the day!!!!

Cheryl Seybert's avatar

We know why main stream media won’t run it; too scared they’ll upset trumpty dumpy and they’ll be banned & removed from networks

George in Atlanta's avatar

The MSM is dead, it just hasn't fallen down yet. The corporations that own it are shutting down and disposing of their now-zombie news operations as fast as their grubby little fingers can. Their business strategy is to become as irrelevant and non-threatening as possible, so as to not endanger their licenses and their growing entertainment franchises.

I'm beginning to doubt that 'The Press', in the way intended by the Founders, was ever meant to be compatible with corporations and moneyed interests for exactly this reason. A fractious, squabbling 'social media' news ecosystem is not even new. It's just that it's electronic now.

Walt Svirsky's avatar

“Mainstream” media is a classic misnomer. How about, “Disinformation Chain for the Intellectually Challenged?”

longtimebirdwatcher's avatar

Perfecto! Should be followed by a short bagpipe tune (just three or four notes.)

Walt Svirsky's avatar

Something along the lines of “WAH WAH wahhhh,” but in Bagpipese.

Lisa K. Obrien's avatar

Ben Franklin is rolling in his grave.

Linda McCaughey's avatar

We're in grave danger of entertaining ourselves to death.....

George in Atlanta's avatar

I get all my news from comedy. I get all my entertainment from the 'news'.

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

I get the news I need on the weather report

Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

"I feel stupid and contagious, here we are now, entertain us"

George in Atlanta's avatar

The word is irrelevant to them. It's like saying an earthworm is afraid of heights. They are mindless money-optimizing golems. They don't and never had ever conceived of what they do as connected to the Constitution, the republic, or anything else. They have a merger to complete, don't bother them with political shit that adds nothing to their next quarter.

DR Darke's avatar

"They don't and never had ever conceived of what they do as connected to the Constitution, the republic, or anything else. They have a merger to complete, don't bother them with political shit that adds nothing to their next quarter."

The MSM used to, back when radio and television were mainly broadcast over the public airwaves, and considered part of the public trust. Individual broadcast radio and television stations were (and still are, at least in theory!) required to "serve the needs and interests of the communities to which they are licensed"—while there were rarely limits on how much airtime they had to set aside, and at what hours they had to do that ("The Fairness Doctrine", begun in 1949 under Harry Truman, and ended in 1987 under Ronald Reagan, being a notable exception!), that was generally accepted to mean:

• a daily program of local news as well as national news with updates throughout the broadcast day,

• weather reports and updates—the more rural the community, the more weather you got,

• an hour or so of educational programming on weekdays (often fulfilled by an EARLY morning program called something like "Sunrise Semester", where they'd broadcast a local teacher or professor delivering a lecture), and

• religious programs on the weekends—mostly Protestant Sunday services and shows like DAVEY AND GOLIATH or INSIGHT, though if there was a significant Catholic or Jewish population in the broadcast area you'd get early Sunday Mass and Friday night Sabbath services as well. (Occasionally you'd get some genuinely weird shit like UPON THIS ROCK—a half-hour of "Christian rock" music videos!)

While broadcast stations still have to do this, cable is under no such obligations—which is why, among other things, "The Fairness Doctrine" wouldn't do a thing to choke Fox News or Newsmax like they deserve to be choked, because they're all-cable networks.

Unfortunately, first Ronald Reagan and later Bill Clinton deregulated the Telecommunications industry, claiming it would spur competition and increase other viewpoints. We can see how well that worked out given the large number of Liberal and Leftist All-News Channels there are...!

Ellyn's avatar

My S/O still likes MSNBC 🤷🏻‍♀️

Today I witnessed Ari Melber actually say-as facts were getting close to moving on from just innuendo of trump & epstein’s evil deeds together that “we aren’t reporting on THAT” and shut down the discussion to commercial. 🤮

Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

Either he doesn't know (or has forgotten) what privilege means, or as I read somewhere that with the melting of his brain, he substitutes words that sound like the word he's trying to say, but can't quite come up with. Now, I admit I'm having a hard time coming up with a word similar to privilege that would make sense in that context, but that's a theory I saw.

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

He is definitely toast. Duh middle name.

Punkette's avatar

I second that nomination! 😆👍🏼🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Joyce's avatar

This is a masterpiece, Jeff.

That is all.

Thank you for your attention to this matter, and no autopens were used, to my knowledge.

Linda Weide's avatar

I love the autopen reference, because it is in the first chapter of Project 2025, which seems to have planned to give it a prominent role, enough to mention it. How many of those executive orders has Trump personally signed and how many were done by the auto pen? I would assume that Steve Miller and Russell Vought learned to use it right away, or remember it from last time.

Punkette's avatar

Right on, Linda. Plus - no way did Dump sign SIXTEEN HUNDRED J6 pardon certificates.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

The autopen makes me think of Franz Kafka's short story "In the Penal Colony," in which a giant autopen writes the transgression of each prisoner on his bare back, over and over again. Don't let Trump or his staff know about this piece.

Salspho's avatar

Luckily, he doesn’t read.

Claudia Classon's avatar

I'd listen to bagpipes in a sealed tiled room for days rather than one word from that "rancid anus mouth" brain-dead liar. This was a good post, Jeff!

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

“he hired help. and I said ‘don’t ever do that again.’ he stole people that worked for me. I said ‘don’t ever do that again.’ he did it again, and I threw him out of the place”

Could any of these “people that worked for me” have possibly been of the under-age-18 white female persuasion?

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

It was Virginia Giuffre that Epstein took from Trumps vile social club. Virginia said justice for her would be (before committing suicide) that Maxwell be locked up for the rest of her life.

Maxwell is evil in every way, she loved JE and he required that she get young girls for him to show it. SICK SICK SICK people.

Chet Brandt's avatar

When it comes to people like her I believe strongly in capital punishment.

Mary Greenwald's avatar

OR. . .could they have been hired by someone willing to pay them actual $$$

rlritt's avatar

I heard it was that Epstein bought a property that Trump was trying to buy. Not that anyone cares.

David M Marko's avatar

I read somewhere that it was actually Epstein who broke it off with Trump because of a real estate transaction gone south.

Pere Ubu's avatar

Trump shafting someone on a real estate deal? Unpossible! 😶

rlritt's avatar

Thats very possibly true.

PlasticFish's avatar

When you tell someone like Trump to fuck off, the first thing he does is to try to tell everybody that he told you to fuck off before they get a chance to hear about it from anyone other than him.

Hannah's avatar

Yup. This right here.

cablecargal's avatar

"I know you are but what am I?"

He hasn't matured past third grade. He doesn't know how to cope.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

My exact first thought - thank you

Hannah's avatar

You mean Virginia Guiffre? Yeah, exactly.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Those foreign journalists must be eternally shaking their figurative heads after trying to decipher his rambling word salad bullshit

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

But the beauty part is that they can report on what a lying, incoherent POS he is, and he can’t shut them down. 😂

J.R.'s avatar

They were both spectacular last night. They reminded me of Jeff, almost.

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

Colbert for the win! That was an excellent monologue as is Jeff’s STACK!

Tess's avatar

thanks for the links!

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I’m laughing out loud! 😂

Kay-El's avatar

I love the continuous autopen references. That poor tool is getting blamed for every fucking thing and it works harder than Trump.

Pere Ubu's avatar

It's smarter than him, after all.

Butch's avatar

Perhaps I'm picky because of all the years I spent as an editor, but how do you "run" a file?

Liz and Max the No. 1 Cat's avatar

Hey, we're talking about Donald Trump here. He has the vocabulary and grasp of grammar of a toddler.

Pere Ubu's avatar

You have to change the file extension to ".bat"

arne link's avatar

Thank you. That bothered me, too.

Brenda Doherty's avatar

I can no longer watch television because Trump is on everywhere lying all the time.

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

Same goes for scrolling through social media. I just about can’t stand it anymore.

Pere Ubu's avatar

I can't stand seeing his goddamn face anymore. I can't even set up a dartboard because that'd mean looking at him.

Permian Extinction's avatar

Where is bleeding WikiLeaks when you need them?!

SethTriggs's avatar

Unfortunately it was a cutout for Russian intelligence specifically to make sure that Hillary Clinton wouldn't be able to get into power and head off Vladimir Putin's plans.

Permian Extinction's avatar

Fill in the appropriate hacker name, then.

Permian Extinction's avatar

Thank you. I couldn't remember them as hard as I tried. 👌🏻

SethTriggs's avatar

This is a preview of the next tranche of fact-free viral posts you'll be subjected to on social media. The rightwing media human centipede has a vast, powerful reach. The pricktator knows he has it at his disposal, so why not use it? And then when the fact-free utterings get discussed, that legitimizes them. "People are talking about..." becomes the ultimate permission structure.

Of course we all know the 34-count felon sex pest was best friends with a group of horrific predators. He continues to talk about it, safe in the embrace of Murc's Law. After all accountability can only happen to Democrats. I'm sure his personal lawyer Blanche helped impress this upon Ghislaine Maxwell so they can get their "story" straight.

Indeed, look at the power and privilege that representing the unreconstructed gets you. You can be as stupid as possible, knowing that you will never actually lose support. All you need are excuses to get votes (or non-votes) because what really counts is that you hate the same minorities that a whole lot of Americans hate.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

A friend in Cape Town gave me the phrase this morning "Weaponized Ignorance" as how they describe the current state of the U.S. abroad.

DuduLovesBubu's avatar

I've always liked "militant ignorance"

David M Marko's avatar

I just wish a reporter or anyone questioning the pricktator would use the same phraseology. "Some people are saying... (fill in the blank with any of his rancid ineptitudes)". It's a method he uses all the time to try to legitimize his incoherent accusations.

Linda Weide's avatar

I am just glad that Ursula got in there with Trump and negotiated to have the EU pay blackmail for lowered tariffs of 1.3 trillion US dollars for fossil fuels they are not supposed to be using any more. Can you tell me if anyone else has paid that much in bribes to Trump?

Dave Drell's avatar

And why doesn’t Congress yank his sorry ass in front of them to answer why he’s mixing Presidency & personal biznezz….. oh wait, it’s Congress!

Linda Weide's avatar

Our Congress is like the Old South with slavery, lynchings and no justice.

SethTriggs's avatar

We know probably several U.S. companies have (notably Paramount) , and likely at least a couple private universities paid bribes but not in the trillions yet. That's just the USA. But this is a whole other level...unless this is also more vaporware from the lying liar.

Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

Bagpipes! That’s what we need in this country whenever Dumpy opens his trap!

Mary Hall's avatar

Agreed! The accordion just wasn't cutting it -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S65jqrHQi_c

Kathy H's avatar

Seriously! Block the sound of his insanity.

Eddie's avatar

If he’s so concerned about food, why did his administration incinerate TONS of food specifically made for starving people? What a douche canoe.

Timothy Fifer's avatar

You could also apply the other popular analysis to shitzinpant’s ramblings about Epstein: every denial is a confession. And how this decrepit bag of shit ever made any money with even a hinting this cognitive decline is beyond me. But the saddest and most infuriating aspect of his pathetic denial of culpability for his association with Epstein is using that excuse, that Epstein “stole” employees when the immoralities of Epstein’s actions should be the focus of any analysis. Maybe “guilt by omission” is the real truth here.

rlritt's avatar

Maybe Epstein really stole "employees" who were young and female.

Hannah's avatar

We know he did. Maxwell nabbed Guiffre from Mar a Lardo.

Kathy H's avatar

That's what's been reported & also that the falling out was over real estate (it's even 'possible' the sleaze-in-chief dropped the dime on Epstein (The Fucking News or Jonathan Larsen's Substack)). Dropped a dime, then built the conspiracy, seems entirely on brand. The truth, if real estate, would be a safer answer to the question, but shit-for-brains has lost the plot, the whole ugly, shitty plot.

Tess's avatar

Love the squirrel face! Our prez is definitely losing it—keep talking buddy—it only supports what we are all thinking!

Teri Gelini's avatar

Perfectly describes and demos how the orange mussolini can't stay on track for more than 3 seconds before shifting to another insane topic.