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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

“the promise of a golden tower in Moscow“

Am I the only one who at first glance read this as “golden shower”?

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Susan Keefer's avatar

I read “golden shower”. 😊

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Gina's avatar

many of us have golden-shower inextricably tied to any trump mention, esp. golden mentions or views of gold-plated interiors

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Trump was begging Gorbachev to allow him to build his tower years ago… makes sense that all he received was a golden shower MzNicky!!

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sjbeans's avatar
2dEdited

I didn't read it that way, but when I read it all I thought was "golden tower, nah, we all know what type of golden is waiting for trump in Moscow..." Spot on milady!

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Sister Artemis's avatar

Absofuckinlutely. My brain hurts now.

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Nightmaher's avatar

Nope Nicky, I had the same thought!

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Maggie&Lefty's avatar

I highly doubt that

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Me too! Yuck! Who wants to pay that much money for That?

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Phil Burns's avatar

Nope and I'm curious if they have golden showers?

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

Me, reading: “Well, it won’t be the first time…”

(Also: Hiya, MzNicky!)

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

Hey there, 2Cats!

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2Cats2Furious's avatar

*Waves*

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

No, you are not the only one! 🤣

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

Nope.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

"East Jeezus"?!?! I been there! Just north of Bumfuck!!

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Cheri Collins's avatar

😂🤣😂

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Because Der Kommisar is an idiot, Jeff.

The beauty about this, is no matter what the PantsShitter Bedwetter Dumpty does, he will always have his favorite Trumposexual, Noem there to "comfort him". You know, Kristi Noem—the dog-murdering, pathologically lying, reality TV cosplaying piece of shit now running America's most critical security apparatus—representing everything fucking wrong with this administration's approach to governance. She is a Noemosexual piece of shit.

https://thistleandmoss.com/p/kristi-noem-the-noemosexual-puppy

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Phil Burns's avatar

I thought Orange Hitler's side piece was either the Alina Habba or Laura 'mountain bike tire lips' Loomer?

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Who do you think will institute Donny’s Browm shirts ? Not loomer

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Phil Burns's avatar

Or Habba? True.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Another evil trump-wench who should sue whoever did her terrible work.

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Eva Porter's avatar

Aw, isn’t it nice when sociopaths have friends?

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DonP's avatar

That was a good piece on Cosplay Barbie.

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Oh you are gonna love the one I have cooked up for tomorrow.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

"Donny’s having the saddest of saddy-sad sads right now " 😂😂😂😂😂

I've only been back from a glorious trip for a week and I already cant wait to get outta here.

If it wasn't for you guys, I'd be in a straight jacket.

The Salt Container is priceless!!!

And the TACO thing is hilarious! And Canada is just shaking their collective heads. You can't make any of this up because it's too unbelievable. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

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Bill Corbett's avatar

I love the Robin Williams quote, "Living above a meth lab". Spot on and I may incorporate that in my next letter to my senators here in KS. It is a perfect description of what nightmare we are all living in.

Update at 4PM CDT. I said I would use this and did just now.

May 28, 2025

Senator Moran,

Well Jerry, we now have no rule of law or justice in this country unless you have money to donate to the Grifter in Chief. Every low life tax cheat, sheriffs selling deputy badges to his friends, J6’ers and more are walking out of custody and to hell with it if they were prosecuted by a competent judge and jury, kiss the ring and you are free. I’m witnessing his pardon power right now, on TV, for Todd and Julie Chrisley convicted of fraud and serving time behind bars. This is disgusting, repugnant, and the lowest of low because of the campaign donation to the Grifter in Chief. A pardon bought and paid for, period.

This is where we are, and you and all your republican colleagues have your hands in this as well.

Good job by you and your republican friends putting the torch to American justice. I have no faith in you or anyone on your side to do the right thing, you all had your chance and blew it.

I don’t know where this is going or how things will shake out, but it is not going to be good, that fact I know.

I read a quote today by Robin Williams from 2013 about Canada, “You are the kindest country in the world. You are like a really nice apartment over a meth lab.”

That’s what it feels like living in this country right now………………like living in a meth lab.

This is bad, very bad.

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Mary Hall's avatar

Further to your comment. A Canadian once said living next to the US is like having a neighbor whose car alarm is constantly going off. The American said, “At least you’re not locked in the car.”

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Sue Pike's avatar

I love this image. As a small kid growing up in Ontario, I always thought it was called the Excited States of America.

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CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Very good.

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Phil Burns's avatar

😂😂😂

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Robert R's avatar

It’s now the Excreated States of America !The land of Plenty, Plenty of SHIT !Anal and Oral all from one putrid source! Captain Colon of the Asshole League of America !

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Lyrical. You have talent.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

That’s good! 😂😂😂

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

🥇🥇🥇🥇

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Isnt that the truth! I just cant believe we've devolved into this!

(I sure miss Robin Williams!!)

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Bill Corbett's avatar

Susan, it is unfathomable how far down the rabbit hole we have gone, but I take solace in knowing that Jeff is here every day to brighten up our lives with his humor of the previous day's events. If I miss his post, it's like withdrawal from the meth lab. 🤣

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Ha! Well put!!!

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Nancy Eadie Larkin's avatar

Right? That shot of him makes him look like an ordinary guy! I found myself staring at his forehead and thinking about that enormous, complicated brain. That he chose to share a little of that treasure was a gift. 😔

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

It’s been a work in progress since Areagan and his coterie of connards Susan!

I surely miss George Carlin a lot more!!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

What country enjoyed your magnificent presence for the past week Susan? It usually takes me a couple of weeks just to unwind and enjoy new scenery and the people in foreign lands… coming back to the malaise in this country could be apoplectic!!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Coming back to America's extreme dysfunction has been soul sucking for sure. I was very fortunate to be in the Canary Islands and a tiny glimpse of Madrid. And let me tell you, that change of scenery did me a world of good.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Nice,Spain and Portugal are fabulous…Portuguese music has been a favorite since the day Flora Purim joined Chick Correa’s band, Carmen Souza is amazing as well. I’m glad you enjoyed your sojourn!!

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shee-rah's avatar

A meth lab that’s going to blow up any day now.

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Bill Corbett's avatar

I see it coming as well.

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Patricia Gomes's avatar

The pardons also came with the elimination of any restitution charges. And the grift goes on. All it takes is a million dollar meal and a tax cut. This continues to get worse. Daily.

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Abbi's avatar

Me, too, just back from a week with grandchildren and not even looking at the news, though conversations with my son & DIL were pretty depressing. May stick to Jeff and nothing else through the weekend till jet lag’s gone & I can face this shit again. Happy re-entry, Susan.

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James Starr's avatar

Road trip indeed... Recently drove 1400 miles with my cat to the small town I grew up in and went riding through the neighborhood on my EV scooter that I brought with me.

It was just refreshing to go down memory lane and smell the pines in the forest. Yesterday, back at home, rode my bike up some hills near Lake Hollywood...ANYTHING to get my mind off this fuckery we are in....

I keep up with the news with Jeff T., Tennessee Brando and Adam Mockler. The rest of the media and piss off.... and Adam Schiff offers generous insights on his YouTube channel.

And that is enough ! It is all I can take these days.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I’m already planning my next escape!!

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Charles Austin's avatar

Unbelievable, but sadly it's our present reality.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

*hugs* if you want them, we are all in this together.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I would never refuse a hug. We'll find a way! ❤️

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

*HUG*

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Robert R's avatar

Oh so fucken true , sad but the unbelievable is now the new norm! The fiction market in books ,movies ,everything is going to collapse ,today nothing is shocking or impossible anymore fiction is reality from here onwards! We wouldn’t have to sweat book burning 🔥 anymore,no books will be written for lack of topics and the ignorance of illiteracy flowing through our society! So fucken sad ! Thanx SphincterFace ! That asshole face hole just keeps giving!

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Alison Parker's avatar

Okay, that top image will most definitely be making several appearances in my nightmares. But hell...it's pretty fucking accurate.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

The Trump dummy/puppet and his master image has been around forever Alison. It’s a fact that the Russian criminal syndicate has owned Trump’s diapered and malodorous codpiece since his broke ass businesses failings. Russian state media has been mocking the cretinous dotard for a long while. Did someone finally mention the fact to the tweeting tosspot?

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Derek Smith's avatar

Malodorous Codpiece - name of my new Progressive Rock/EDM band.

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arne link's avatar

We get so many excellent band names from Jeff's writing, don't we? It's like there's one every day. It's awesome.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Sorry, Malodorous Codpiece(c) has already been registered as the name of the political party which will take over for the GOP, once the corpse has fully decomposed and chunks of it have fallen through the slats in the gibbet.

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Derek Smith's avatar

lol

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Krusti, like all the rest of the fecal skidmarks of this deranged Cabinet will do anything that dear leader desires. It doesn't matter if it violates the constitution, numerous laws or involves scarring innocent people for life. Can't ever remember anyone in such a high place not knowing the meaning of habeas corpus. Then again, look at her demented boss. He doesn't know shit about much of anything except how to take bribes, fleece people of their freedoms and money.

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

He’s #1 at conning & grifting. Well, he’s always wanted to be #1 at something

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Honestly....you are not wrong. And we know that Trump TurdChewer has a diaper fetish (out of requirement and necessity both I think).

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

So TACO goes with ETTD? I’m getting PTSD from this F(ing)DT.

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SethTriggs's avatar

And every day is a SNAFU.

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Maggie&Lefty's avatar

or it’s FUBAR

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arne link's avatar

Mostly it's that.

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Maggie&Lefty's avatar

Ya know, if there’s a corollary to DTs here, then we’re in for some miserable recovery times when this asshole makes his exit. This Supreme Court makes me sick.

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shee-rah's avatar

IF he makes his exit.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

There's always that one cheeseburger too many....

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Robert R's avatar

The senile motherfucker can’t go on forever! Can he ??? What if Felon engineers an asshole android of the dain bramaged fuck !!?? Arrrgh ! Reality is out the fucken window 🪟 ! Too fucken bad Captains Colon doesn’t try to see if flying is one of his pooper powers !

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247kath's avatar

I’m waiting for the FO part of FAFO for the🍊💩It can’t come soon enough

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂

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SethTriggs's avatar

I love the kayfabe of the pricktator whining ineffectually to his benefactor. He's owned lock, stock and barrel by the Russian despot, all because he wanted to join that same Dictator club. And we've all been sold out. The "Free" world has been sold out. Of course it's not just him; plenty of Americans were happy to join in by elevating this pricktator to near-absolute power...in the service of their prejudice, privilege and even Internet clout.

Now we have to work hard to undo the damage. And the pricktator himself is the continued poke in the eye against us by the unreconstructed, who have all the inbuilt advantage of the plantation class in the United States.

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

I am TOTALLY using Pricktator in a future post, ST. I will attribute you when I do. :) Masterful language.

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SethTriggs's avatar

I have to admit I got it from Stephen Colbert!

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Wendy🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🌈's avatar

Doesn’t matter I’m still gonna cite you when I do it

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SethTriggs's avatar

You’re awesome thank you!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Nice play on dictator Seth! Russian mob has owned Trump for years, that’s why his threats, while amusing, have zero teeth!

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shee-rah's avatar

I would like to know how much money he owes to Russian mobsters.

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SethTriggs's avatar

Probably so much his codename would become Marvin because a window would be in his future.

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Jane in NC's avatar

How many tweets are we away from Dull Donnie all caps posting: 'I WILL NOT BE IGNORED, VLAD!!!'

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Lisa's avatar

Ole vladdy could test the waters by the florida roach motel, ya know, a little ripple to remind rump that he's not the boss.

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DuduLovesBubu's avatar

I keep waiting. A Russian sub launched hypersonic cruise missile just off the coast of Mara Largo won't give the jeniuses time to react. Mission Accomplished!

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arne link's avatar

But Trump is very useful to Vlad right now. He won't get rid of him until he has used him up. Sadly for us.

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Why would they get rid of their best stooge? While Donny whines, Russia is obliterating Kyviv

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Norma's avatar

lol 😂

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

One, two at most.

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David M Marko's avatar

Trump always envisioned himself to be a mafioso boss. The problem is is that he is Fredo. Putin is Michael Corleone and has no problem taking him out. He is the textbook example of a useful idiot.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

So well put

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Putin really take him out. We give him to you. Never return him.

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shee-rah's avatar

Once he gets his Trump Tower Moscow built, he should move there permanently

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Chet Brandt's avatar

Along with Moscow Mitch McConnell

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Robert R's avatar

Yeah Vlad give him the window tour ! Then you can be elected in a special election after all the rats go into hiding thinking they’re next ! Shit you midget maniac you could win in a landslide all your problems will be solved !

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Dave Drell's avatar

🙏🏻

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

I can't use prayer hands cuz I would burst into flames, but yeah.

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Patricia Gomes's avatar

👍

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Truth

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Mombeka's avatar

I was on my iPad when you posted this at 4:44 HST and by the time I opened it up on my phone in the SubStack app I think 8 other people had already commented. You have a faithful following Jeff, and you totally deserve it. My favorite part of today’s post is that quotation from Robin Williams. He was probably one of the few people that I remember who was as funny as you are. I miss him so much.

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shee-rah's avatar

Of all my Substack subscriptions, I always read Jeff’s column first.

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Aleksander Constantinoropolous's avatar

At this point, Donny’s diplomacy strategy is just yelling “YOU’LL MISS ME WHEN I’M GONE” into a mirror while Putin updates his burn book. We’ve officially entered the Mean Girls: Geopolitics Edition, except Donny keeps trying to sit at the Kremlin’s lunch table and they keep handing him sanctions instead of snacks. The saddest part? He still thinks this is 4D chess while everyone else knows it's just Connect Four in crayon.

Virgin Monk Boy approves this message.

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A.J. Madison's avatar

Jeff is spot on with stating that Dwumpy Twumpy isn't talking to anyone in Canada. FFS, if Biden said "I'm talking with Israel about Gaza" the SS would have pushed past the journalists, what few real journalists come to press conferences, and swept Uncle Joe out of the room. Talking to Canada my ass. WHO in Canada? The PM, he's already said Fuck Off. Members of the Canadian Parliament? Which ones. No one just talks to Canada. Just like I don't just talk to Florida. Things are so bad, there's no national news about what Florida's autistic governor has been doing, but, in short, not good. Oh, if only we had people more mature than twitchy sex hormone saturated tweeners as the Presidential Press Corps. Pros would have asked right away, WHO did you talk to & when. Do you have a record of what was said. That's another component of professional diplomacy, remembering what was said. But NO. We have the Puppy Killer going on a publicity tour like it was a Taylor Swift concert tour. To everyone even thinking about voting for any Republican, this was a full party campaign, and this is the end result. None of them deserve or qualified to be in office, ever, any of them.

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Kay-El's avatar

1. Does this replace Taco Tuesday? Does Taco Bell need to change its name?

2. Mark Carney has said 61 billion times that Canada isn’t joining the US. That Golden Dome is a synonym for Donny’s Golden Toilet.

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

HA! Yes, and that’s probably what that dome would look like. You have engraved the image in my brain now.

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Dave Drell's avatar

Bet people from Notre Dame don’t like him using “Golden Dome”.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

Re your point 2: Aside from the fact that King Charles just slapped mango man upside the head in a speech. Figuratively, of course, in a subtle, Brit kinda way that Donnie would never understand unless someone 'splained it to him.

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Debra Slater's avatar

Wait for it.... "Highly Overrated 'King' Charles ...." blah blah blah.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

HAH! 😆

"I never liked him. He's doing a terrible job. Everybody says so."

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George in Atlanta's avatar

"....everybody has said for a long time that his ratings were terrible! What a loser!!"

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Celine's avatar

"Our cherished 51st state"

For some reason, trump calling anything cherished hits 11 on my ick meter. He doesn't cherish people, he uses them, and dumps them when he's done.

Canada cherished? All they have to do is watch trump not bothering to visit disaster-stricken states, or telling state after state to go fuck themselves when they apply for disaster funding to know exactly how "cherished" they would be.

I'll bet he slobbered in the ear of every woman he sexually assaulted about how much he would always cherish the experience.

Just, ick. The word cherish out of his asshole shaped shit spewing mouth.

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drosophilist's avatar

Likewise, the frequent use of the word "beautiful" by a man whose idea of beauty is tacky gilded decor worthy of a vintage brothel in Nevada.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Hey! Don't be degrading the historic brothels! They made Nevada what it is today!

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David Simpson's avatar

Notice how the orange fucktwat has more sanctions on Harvard University than he has on Russia? His pardoning of the good ol' boy sheriff and the reality TV couple is beyond the pale. His choices are all white collar crime creeps. I guess he is looking in the mirror.

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arne link's avatar

Melanoma denies it, says he didn't apply to Harvard. Sadly, there is something wrong with Barron, he seems a bit off...

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Chet Brandt's avatar

She’s a lying POS…

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

As in, chip off....the old block???

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George in Atlanta's avatar

The boy's on the spectrum. Flat aspect, dead eyes, awkward gait. They'd better stick him someplace way out of the way before he does something embarrassing. Oh, wait.

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

That was just cruel. 😊

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Or the woman election official in Nevada who raised money for a slain policeman, then used it on plastic surgery & her daughter’s wedding.

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Carl Selfe's avatar

I am worried for Putin who has avoided any Trump tariffs. Putin is “playing with fire”. Putin needs to think critically on what he is doing. I don’t see Trump resorting to tariffs against his pal. I am afraid Trump could go ALL CAPS on Putin.

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Sharon Hudnall's avatar

I wonder if Vlad isn't grooming Vance to be his new Krasnov. Trump may end up with a dusting of special Putin powder on his next Big Mac.

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arne link's avatar

Lord, hear our prayer.

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Denise Donaldson's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

That’s all rump would “do” to Putin. Go all caps. Some rummy stupid statement rump thought made him look tough and brilliant. He is so mentally empty.

No wonder rump spent his life in boarding schools.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Vlade has never viewed Trump as an equal or pal Carl, a useful idiot perhaps!!

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Sharon C Storm's avatar

🤣😂

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Will Gerard's avatar

I know. It's all part of their Master Plan -- Project 2025. The damage will take decades to repair. Democracy is a goner, etc. But I still have some hope when I see that it's bumbling fools who are running things.

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Mary Hall's avatar

We are so lucky that this cabal of criminals is stupid, arrogant, and inept.

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Even inept & stupid is doing serious damage to our government

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Mary Hall's avatar

Truth! Massive protests are happening June 14th. Show the world that we are not okay with this sh!t! www.nokings.org Find your local tribe. 💙

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Hannah Olufs's avatar

I hope I am wrong. Really.

The bumbling is by design, to destroy as much of what until recently, was our government.

It's not just Project 2025. It's the dissident right. The Curtis Yarvins and Peter Thiels of the world who have every intention of changing our culture and government to suit their world view. They are the money behind all of this shit.

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Gary D's avatar

Wasn't 'golden dome' the KGB code word for the infamous pee tape? Asking for a friend.

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