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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

programming note: I've replaced the original Hassett clip with a better edit that includes him hallucinating how about much money everyone has. it now goes:

"and so the consumer is really, really firing on all cylinders. they’re doing that because they have so much more money. in their pockets. in fact, I had the head of one of the Big Five banks in my office yesterday, going through the credit card data, and just as Secretary Bessent said, credit card spending is through the roof. they’re spending more on gasoline but they’re spending more on everything else, too."

Kay-El's avatar

Gee Kev, could it be that spending is through the roof because prices are through the roof? Fuckwit 🙄

Linda Weide's avatar

And, given that Donald Trump insulted his financial backer in Saudi Arabia, the US is not going to be able to have its war on Iran, so now the ships will all just be stuck there, because Trump has no leverage to end it. I guess Xi will tell him what to do when he go visits, just like Putin usually does, because Iran already visited with Xi and afterwards Xi said he wanted the war to end. So, if Trump says that Xi, is kissing his ass in public too, I think he is going to set the US up for a major hackathon, and if he is in China when he does it I think they will cut all access to the internet off for him.

Mary Hall's avatar

IOW, the floggings will continue until morale (or T💩p's poll numbers) improve.

Ole Anderson's avatar

I wonder how the morale is for the Thousands of troops from the 82nd Airborne who have been floating around the Med for two months now? They aren’t sailors and not used to being on a ship.

Also all the crew of the hundreds of Navy ships who have been out there twice as long are probably ready for a little shore leave about now.

A tip of the hat to all those poor War fighters who are subject to the Orange shit stain’s demented wishes.

Mary Hall's avatar

And they aren't even being fed properly.

Kim Steeves's avatar

Do we know if they are getting any mail, or is that still be stopped?

Wren The Hen's avatar

I just LOVE how Hassett and Mr. Banker keep referring to us, the great unwashed masses, as “they,” leaving no doubt about how they see the American populace — and that we are clearly the have-nots.

Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Serfs, that’s how they see us all.

Laurie K's avatar

We are consumers and voters, sometimes collateral damage, nothing more. Things to be manipulated and controlled.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

Hasset was giving head to the chair of one of the big 5 banks. That is his only marketable skill in this generational clown fuckery.

Maggie&Lefty's avatar

Here’s a funny edit, “Hasset was giving chair to the head of one the big 5 banks” and we’d still know what was meant. 🤣

Bill Corbett's avatar

I think Scott Bessent would be better at giving head. 🤣

Mps's avatar

Just ewwww

Joyce Seravo's avatar

As usual, I started my day laughing! Thank you!

Will's avatar

I've set up my Substack account to auto-like Jeff's posts. Slam dunk every time.

Maui Wahine's avatar

The banks love it when people get into credit card debt, maybe thatʻs why the stock market remains high.

Vee Cross's avatar

I can't wait to see how that smirk transforms when millions of people default on credit card debit because of Republican Shit-Storm reasons.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Mr. Big Bank should have brought action figures to explain economics to Hassett because it seems like he got the takeaway backwards.

Wendymae's avatar

Of course it's good news to their buddies, because they're making money hand over fist. They won't be happy until they have it all.

Linda Weide's avatar

I love the pic of Claudia and your daughter Katie. I assume you took it. ❤️

I am currently supporting a campaign to impeach Trump again, and his cabinet. Here is my piece on that. Please consider reading it and signing the petition.

https://lindaweide.substack.com/p/indivisible-abroad-supports-the-impeach?r=f0qfn

SPW's avatar

Jeff, normally I just read your transcript of the asshole’s videos but when I read it, I thought this was one that was too good to pass up. I wasn’t disappointed. He is so mentally fucked up at this point, the more he shoots his mouth off the more obvious his mental deficiencies are. We are in deep doodoo with all these assholes.

Sweet picture of Claudia and your daughter. It’s pictures such as these that help get you through one more day and that’s all we can do at times. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹.

Beezerbomb's avatar

Oh god, I just want to grab him by the lapels and drive my knee up sharply into his groin. Fucking moron. Of course people are using their credit cards more now. WE. DON'T. HAVE. THE. FUCKING. CASH. TO. COVER. THE. BASICS.

Kim Steeves's avatar

A better matrix to the credit card usage would be to measure, how many credit cards are in arrears or maxed out! Just saying!

Crabby Canuck's avatar

I think you misquoted Hassett. It should have been "In fact, I was giving head to..."

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Writing This Shit—

"First Thing: Uncertainty looms as last oil tanker from Middle East arrives in California"

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/may/07/first-thing-uncertainty-last-oil-tanker-middle-east-arrives-california?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

California's going to run out of oil in six weeks, if the Strait of Hormuz doesn't open. fun stuff

Unity In Defiance's avatar

And the fuckheads at the top will tell us “two more weeks” which — if I take that based on past evidence — truly means 10 to forever years from now.

HI2thDoc's avatar

The Strait I will open!

The Strait I will close!

Which is it now?

Who even knows?

The ceasefire is on!

The ceasefire is off!

He can't make up his mind

The world's nations scoff

Such unstable bullshit

Each time he speaks

Perpetual chaos

Another two weeks

Fastball Fredo's avatar

“He can’t make up his mind” Hey Doc another wonderful limerick… However, you are assuming that guy has a mind that is not instant oatmeal… I beg to differ… The dude is gone, he ain’t never coming back..it’s only that fucking dance hall that keeps him… intact😄.. my feeble attempt at a rhyme…

HI2thDoc's avatar

Sorry to be pedantic, Friend Fredo, but a limerick is a five line poem in which the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with each other and the third and fourth lines rhyme with each other. The one above is easier because the "every other line" rhyme is more flexible. Limericks are very challenging since many of the adjectives and nouns germane to him are very difficult to rhyme, like asshole, douchebag, dipshit, idiot, . . .you get the idea. The poems from Frosty and me below are limericks.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Thanks for the explanation Doc… English literature and composition was not a strong point in my education way back in the last century.🫨🫨

Gargaxx's avatar

So... more of a haiku then. Got it!

HI2thDoc's avatar

Yes, a set structure like a haiku, which is a three line poem of 5, 7, and 5 syllables but not required to rhyme. In my limited understanding of the Japanese language, rhyming is virtually impossible anyway.

john augustine's avatar

frontal lobe of the orange asshat is shrinking for sure

Unity In Defiance's avatar

Two weeks, two weeks, two weeks….. 🥴

Frank Nuts's avatar

Another gem Doc!

Susie's avatar

Oooooooo….really really pithy and spot on! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

rlritt's avatar

Why dont we just leave the area. Say we won, we're going to leave. When the Iranians open the Strait, Trump can say he opened it and pat himself the back. Have a parade.

Gargaxx's avatar

This is actually prophetic.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Even someone as egotistical and overwhelmingly stupid as he is may eventually realize that is his only way out.

john augustine's avatar

and in the end....all for nothing

djw's avatar

Oh, no, not for nothing. Billions and billions, as Carl Sagan used to say.

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Trump will probably end up leveling Cuba just to have a win.

Tina Zep's avatar

And let Bebe clean up the mess he manipulated asshat into.

DuduLovesBubu's avatar

I haven't heard boo about Bebe paying reparations. He blew shit up too.

Frank Nuts's avatar

Absolutely right rlritt! That’s the only way the emperor’s war ends peacefully or otherwise.

Robert Eckert's avatar

But the Iranians will only let ships pass who pay toll.

rlritt's avatar
2hEdited

And Trump wants his cut of that money. When the Strait opened and Iran announced a toll, Trump immediately sent ships to close the Strait. Why? Because he thought it was unfair? No, because he wants his cut of the 2 million dollars toll per ship. No one can tell thats not the way looks.

Merrill's avatar

Trump is Mad Captain Ahab, demonically persuing his devilish White Whale across the globe. No regard for his crew. Just revenge and his just retribution. Somewhere along the path of this mad pursuit, America's current Ahab will find his end out in the void and the world can return to a quieter state of conflict

PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

Trump’s demise will be epic when we run out of oil while the republicans keep telling us we produce enough here to supply the country for eleventy billion years. It might be a little tough to lie about Americans not being able to buy gas because there is none. Based on their shameless ability to lie about pretty much everything, I’m sure they’ll give it a shot.

harkaylun's avatar

We do pump a lot of oil but most of it gets sold to other countries. You know: profits.

PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

I also read we produce the kind of oil we don’t refine for our own consumption, so who knows? All we know is our reality today.

Frank Nuts's avatar

And, Peace, let’s not forget the oil companies who, instead of doing the patriotic thing of serving the American public with affordable gas are instead selling our oil on the open market to line their pockets. Our oil companies have never been loyal or patriotic— just scum of the earth. Full stop.

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Plus taking billions of taxpayer $$$ in subsidies

Tonya Browning's avatar

I’m so glad I drive a fully electric car now & our house runs off of solar energy, albeit, I’m in the UK, but what Trump has done has pushed up our gas prices too! It’s almost £1.50 a liter. I’m too mentally drained to convert that into gallons & then $$ or $$ then gallons. I’m having severe brain fog today.

HulitC's avatar

Multiply by 3.78 (liters in a gallon) so you are paying £5.67 a gallon or $7.73 a gallon.

In France I’m paying €2.25/liter or €8.50/gallon or $10.00/gallon (for diesel - gas is a tad cheaper)

I hear Ireland is paying $12 a gallon (not sure if it’s gasoline or diesel - diesel USED to be cheaper than gas in EU…)

Suzanne Eaton's avatar

Living in the interior of British Columbia, Canada. We paid 194.9 per litre yesterday, which works out to $7.36 CAD ($5.40 USD) per gallon. Our next vehicle will be electric. Over the past 5 years, enough charging stations have been installed to make owning an EV a realistic option in more rural areas now.

john augustine's avatar

so glad we have our two chevy volts

Eva's avatar

Oh diaper Don would just LOVE IT if CA went dry

arne link's avatar

Why can't they understand that everything, everything is delivered by diesel trucks. If there is no gas there is no food, no beer (oh, Lord!), no diapers. Well, you get the idea. I was just thinking, maybe Budweiser will bring the horses to deliver beer. That would be awesome.

rlritt's avatar

They dont care. As long as they live in luxury with gold statues of their hero, they're happy. We can all eat cake.

They should read history. It wont end well for them. I look forward to the day when we can see all of Trumps stupid staues pulled down.

Mary Hall's avatar

Diesel is going for $7.99 a gallon in my Seattle suburb.

Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

In CA also, it is something like $7.50. This regime is strangling American people and they want to hurt Europeans.

Susan Niemann's avatar

HUSH! No BEER? Blasphemy!!!!!

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

We used to have a working rail system but gas.....

J Hardy Carroll's avatar

Uncertainty is a nice way to frame it. It's like those medieval sundials that said in Latin DEATH IS CERTAIN ONLY THE HOUR IS UNCERTAIN

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Trump's team wants to force oil exploration off the coast of CA. Most of the refineries in the state are aging relics. But the jerk has been a gift to the EV industry he's tried to crush here. Except no one wants a Tesla.

Joyce's avatar

The oil companies have also been drooling over offshore drilling in Florida--which, by the way, is another reason Donnie Demento's handlers want to conquer Cuba (King Rubio Big Shoes I), so there's no messy squabbling over borderlines.

Of course, Florida's entire economy is tourism......Even the Republicans nearly passed out from fear caused by the Deepwater Horizon debacle.

Kay-El's avatar

California leads the country with the most electric vehicles. Those 1.2 million owners won’t sweat this.

Michael Guenon's avatar

Don’t you think they would love to fuck with California? Then it would be drill, baby, drill, and wait for the oil slicks in the Santa Barbara Channel.

Virgin Monk Boy's avatar

Kevin Hassett out here acting like people putting groceries on credit cards is proof the economy is thriving

Yeah and if I start paying rent with Monopoly money that means I’m secretly crushing it financially.

Irascible Ink's avatar

Groceries, cat food, and booze are the three things we NEVER put on the cc because it fucking DUMB to pay interest on any of those in the rare case that the cc doesn't get paid down in full every month. 🙄

Unity In Defiance's avatar

Ever notice how Hassett has ASS right in his name?

Coincidence? I think not.

Susan Jane's avatar

And Trump has RUMP in his. The universe laughs at us.

JoJoRa's avatar

Trump has RUMP in his name but he acts like an ASS

AuntTeeFa's avatar

😆😆😆😆🏆

Lynn Van Haren's avatar

He has that in his name too

HI2thDoc's avatar

"Conservative economist" is right up there with the other outstanding oxymorons jumbo shrimp and limited war

Sharon C Storm's avatar

Don’t forget military intelligence.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Especially under Trump.

Robert Eckert's avatar

Some oxymorons are pretty ugly but others are awful good

Mary Hall's avatar

<insert drum sting here>

Kim Nesvig's avatar

Oxymorons is a generic term used to describe Trump cabinet members and spokespersons.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Lying dumbshits who are aerobic organisms, requiring oxygenation to facilitate mitochondrial electron transport for energy production

BigDaddy52's avatar

Did your autocorrect change 'eat dick' to 'edict'?

Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂

Robert Eckert's avatar

These eyes have seen a lot of loves, but they're never gonna see another one like I had with you · These eyes are cryin'

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

The world's a big foul clusterfuck

'Cause the madman is running amok

Moronic and stupid

He thinks that he's Cupid

On my Johnson he can take a big SUCK.

arne link's avatar

Ok, ok that one made me laugh out loud. Usually, only Jeff can do that. I salute you, sir.

HI2thDoc's avatar

A billion bucks for a ballroom

Should lead us to assume

That the fat orange lunker

Is building a bunker

Too bad it's not his tomb

djw's avatar

Oh, I *like* that!

George in Atlanta's avatar

That can be arranged. They'll install special drains to handle all the urine.

arne link's avatar

It could be...

Pam Humphrey's avatar

I’m dyin’ here. I told myself I’d be quiet today. Not get myself all worked up. Well, screw that. I can’t stop repeating that ditty in my head and giggling.

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I’m no economist, but maybe a REAL financial expert should explain to these clowns that instead of measuring the health of the economy by how many people are using credit cards (which has increased) they should look at how many people are paying off their balances each month (which I’m sure has decreased).

And btw, I love the addition of “the daily Claudia.”

HI2thDoc's avatar

Only a conservative can think that people having to buy food on credit cards with interest rates of 17%, 18%, and up is a sign that the economy is doing well. Just like only a conservative can stump for trickle down economics like it actually works. Delusional, avaricious assholes

devourerofpancakes's avatar

I'm sure it's great in the short term for the banks. In the long-term it is disastrous but who thinks more than 3 mos out these days?

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

High credit card usage lowers one's FICA score. So the folks using their cards to live paycheck to paycheck will pay higher interest rates when they actually need to finance something. And Hassett will be smiling and swimming through the air.

George in Atlanta's avatar

I doubt there has been a lack of 'splaining available to these quacks. Their minds don't work in objective facts, they attempt to twist reality into a form that *sounds* more beneficial for themselves. And it works fine, until it doesn't. They live in a perpetual 'now' Zen-state. History has no meaning for them, so the fates of all the other lying shits that came before them is wholly unknown.

Ann Anderson's avatar

Despite the bone-deep stupidity of our current regime, I'm seeing hopeful signs from former MAGAs who finally feel some personal pain from their shitty decisions. Protest and parody songs are all over YouTube today. Ex-MAGA is owning their stupidity and it's very encouraging. When that group reaches critical mass, a change is gonna come.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

can you share some links? it might be something I can write about

Ann Anderson's avatar

The YouTube channel is called the Resistance, so algorithm-wise I'm not sure who's seeing this. Nevertheless some well-made creative stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BouWH-BlCx4&list=RDBouWH-BlCx4&start_radio=1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tb_s1ZGTMaM&list=RDtb_s1ZGTMaM&start_radio=1

Ann Anderson's avatar

Check out JD's Lament below. Made me howl with laughter.

Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

I love this site! Thanks!

john augustine's avatar

love the second song!

Joe Witkowski's avatar

These assholes are terminally stupid. Only metastisizing and inbreeding will kill them off.

Bonnie Boyce's avatar

Now you’ve gone and done it! I chuckle all the way through your essay…& you bring literal tears to the surface at the end. Be well, my friend

Carol Blankenship's avatar

Same here. Thanks for your writing and sharing, Jeff.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

Hanta virus arriving just about the same time as a golden statue appears in Florida is kinda Exodus shite writ large with a fat Sharpie™. Add to that just about everything else that’s happening… and I’m thinking about lotsa stuff.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

My kiddo was just telling me about this. He said the on-line (Tik-Tok) consensus is to let everyone on the ship die rather than bring Hanta virus on shore. I tried to explain things like penetrance and contagion. I think the impression that everyone on the ship is rich is contributing to the sentiment.

Mark Slattery's avatar

Personally, I appreciated his lesson about the difference in "see" and "sea". It always baffled me. Hoping that today he'll explain the difference between "be" and "bee". Another head-scratcher.

PEACE, LOVE, RESIST's avatar

What a complete dolt he is. Honestly!!

AuntTeeFa's avatar

My goodness, the sweetness captured in that photo is the perfect way to pull us down out of the rafters after reading your thorough description of the insanity in the completely unqualified people who are running our country. Into the ground.

Snickering. Smug. Drunks. Truly the wheel of moron. I’d like to get off now.

Polly Sears's avatar

How is your daughter doing?

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

she's dealing with it. she has a loving husband and a thriving career to keep her distracted

Belfora's avatar

I share your daughter's grief. I lost my mom not too long ago. Sure, keeping busy is a distraction until the dark stillness of night releases the grief.

Grief is a long process. Yet my heart is warmed every day I read your posts, especially when they include these beautiful pictures of your family. Thank you Jeff!

Polly Sears's avatar

And a wonderful father!

Karen Williams's avatar

And to think Hassett was a contender at one point for a Federal Reserve job...ugh