as the world burns, Preznit Fuckwit blithers about his Epstein Dance Hall

let’s check in on the Four Horsemen of the Shitpocalypse

Mad King Donny’s cerebral cortex is a magical enchanted fairyland where logic and reason go to die. how the fuck else can you explain this?

“see that— nice drape? when that comes down right now you see a very, very deep hole, but in about a year and a half from now, you’re gonna see a very, very beautiful building. and there’s your entrance to it right there. if fact, it looks so nice I don’t think I’ll even— I think I’ll save money on the doors. ’cause it can’t get more beautiful than that. I picked those drapes in my first term. I always like gold. but I think we can save a lotta money. I just saved— I just saved curtains. but uh— and it will be a spectacular buh— the most beautiful ball— I believe it, ’cause I’ve built many a ballroom. I believe it’s going to be the most beautiful ballroom anywhere in the world.”

this stupid fuck can’t stop bragging about his Epstein Dance Hall, how it’s going to be a great Epstein Dance Hall, an Epstein Dance Hall like few thought possible, maybe even the greatest Epstein Dance Hall of all time.

Dear Leader’s brain is overcooked scrambled eggs, and the word-adjacent noises that seep from his rancid anus-mouth are just a big ball of who the fuck even cares. drapes? who gives a shit about drapes?

to listen to Donny prattle on, you wouldn’t even know that right now, people are dying in an unnecessary, unprovoked and illegal war — one that he and his equally fucked-up friend Netanyahu started.

Donny is so detached from reality, and so firmly ensconced in his own little narcissistic bubble that he has no idea that nobody wants to hear about his vulgar vanity projects right now. I’m sure it’s a ginormous comfort for the families of our fallen service members to know that Dear Leader is going to save money on doors by leaving in place his beautiful drapes.

enjoy your drapes. enjoy your vulgar Epstein Dance Hall, you psychotic fuck.

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so, that’s what the First Horseman of the Shitpocalypse was up to yesterday. now let’s catch up on the Second Horseman — because thank god there’s one guy around here whose mind is properly focused on warfighting.

“Israel has clear missions as well, for which we are grateful. capable partners, as we’ve said since the beginning, capable partners are good partners. unlike so many of our traditional allies who wring their hands and clutch their pearls, hemming and hawing about the use of force. America, regardless of what so-called international institutions say, is unleashing the most lethal and precise air power campaign in history. B-2s, fighters, drones, missiles, and, of course, classified effects — all on our terms, with maximum authorities. no stupid rules of engagement, no nation-building quagmires, no democracy-building exercises, no politically-correct wars. we fight to win, and we don’t waste time.”

holy shit. lighten the fuck up, Francis.

‘any of you touch my war, I’ll kill you.’

oh jeez, this unhinged, piss-drunk lunatic is the last person you want in charge of a military. he just gets off on killing and committing mayhem — and fuck your rules of engagement, bro. rules are for losers.

free clue for Piss-Drunk Pete: rules of engagement are there for the benefit of everyone — our side, and their side. rules of engagement don’t just protect innocent Iranian schoolchildren from getting blown to shit by American bombs. they also protect reckless madmen like Pete Kegstand from ending up in The Hague, on trial for war crimes.

hey, here’s a fun fact about Plastered Pete: he does not avoid women, but he does deny them his essence.

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now let’s see what the Third Horseman of the Shitpocalypse is up to.

“we went proactively in a defensive way.”

words, what do they even mean? apparently, anything Liddle Marco wants them to mean.

what kind of war-is-peace dumbfuckery is ‘proactive is defensive’? wherever he is right now, Orwell is throwing a shit-fit and screaming ‘goddamn you assholes, 1984 was a cautionary tale, not an instructional manual.’

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and, of course our, Shipocalypse round-up wouldn’t be complete without some world-class ass-clownery from the Fourth Horseman.

“I certainly empathize with Americans who are exhausted after twenty-five years of foreign entanglements in the Middle East. I understand the concern, but the difference is, that back then, we had dumb presidents.”

psych! this isn’t a clip from yesterday. it’s from the June 2025, the last time Donny lobbed bombs at Iran. but does that really matter? Vice President Couchfuck McGee is so irrelevant, so out of the loop, that what he says — or when he says it — is of no importance. it’s the same weak-tea bullshit, no matter how you slice it.

JD should just stick to what he’s good at: molesting furniture.

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there’s a reason all these shitwits sound incoherent when trying to defend Dear Leader’s Operation Epstein Distraction: it’s indefensible. there was no legitimate reason to bomb Iraq, aside from ‘because fuck you, that’s why.’

hey look, CNN actually committed a journalism, and made a little supercut of Donny’s and his toadies’ various conflicting and nonsensical talking points regarding their splendid little war — or wait, is it not a war? here, enjoy thirty-four seconds of rank bluffoonery.

Donny: “and we may have casualties. that often happens in war.”
Lindsey Graham: “I don’t know if this is technically a war.”
Piss-Drunk Pete: “we didn’t start this war, but under President Trump, we are finishing it.”
Markwayne Mullin: “this isn’t a war. we haven’t declared war.”
CNN anchor Kasie Hunt: “the Secretary of Defense said today, this is a war.”
Piss-Drunk Pete: “we set the terms of this war, from start to finish.”
Big-Dick Toilet Salesman Matthew Whitaker: “nobody should classify this as a war. is it combat operations.”
Piss-Drunk Pete: “war is hell, and always will be.”
Ann Appalling Lunatic: “strategic strikes are not war.”

oh please, get your stories straight. do you not understand how stupid you all sound?

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finally, here’s your Crowning Moment of Dumbfuck — because no matter how stupid the news is on any particular day, you can always depend on five-time international lap-hockey champion Handy Oakley to out-stupid everyone.

this clip is from Hillary Clinton’s deposition before the House Oversight Committee, regarding the Dead Pedo Bestie Files. when it was Handy’s turn to question the Email Lady, all she wanted to talk about was that Thing That Never Happened The Most™ in the basement of a pizza parlor that has no bastment.

Boebert: “have you reviewed any Epstein files that were released that you believe reference or relate to those specific 2016 claims regarding the Podesta emails? Comet ping pong pizza used as code possibly.”

lawyer: “you’re asking her about whether she’s reviewed emails in files which relate to the wacky pizzagate scam?”

Clinton: “pizzagate was totally made up. it was an outrageous allegation that ended up hurting a number of people that caused a deranged young man to show up with his assault rifle and shoot up a local pizzeria. I can’t believe you're even referencing it.”

oh my god. Little Miss Clownfuck believes pizzagate is real — because of course she does. she’s a fucking idiot.

Handy Oakley really needs to stick to what she’s good at.

have a non-stupid day, everyone. see you tomorrow.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.