antichrist speaks at National Prayer Breakfast

Donny’s speech was off-the-charts crazypants

Little Donny Convict — the man his cultists believe is God’s Own Avatar On Earth — is what would happen if the seven Deadly Sins became a real boy. let’s run through the list: pride — yup. greed — you betcha. lust — just ask Ivanka. envy — no shit. gluttony — have you seen his waistline? wrath — ducked any ketchup bottles lately? sloth — the lazy fuck drives his golf cart right up onto the green.

with those bona fides, it’s only natural that God’s Own Avatar be chosen to speak at the National Prayer Breakfast.

how’d the speech go? it was a burst trash bag of incoherence — brags, boasts, outright lies, and fairy-tale fantasy nonsense. let’s settle in and sample some of the effluvia that slowly oozed out of Donny’s rancid anus-mouth.

“remember in 2016, that was a whole big part of my campaign — ‘you’re gonna say Merry Christmas.’ well, now they do it again. I don’t know if you've been watching, but we got rid of woke over the last two weeks. woke is gonzo.’”

oh yeah, I remember well those dark days when you couldn’t say Merry Christmas — because if you did, MS-13 gang members would appear out of nowhere and beat the shit of you. thank fuck that Dear Leader put an end to that.

but I digress. let’s let Donny continue.

“despite the other side stealing hundreds of millions of dollars to promote woke. did you see what happened yesterday when they found hundreds of millions of dollars of money was fraudulently given to newspapers, and I guess Politico. they gave all this money out of USAID.”

welcome to the latest wingnut fever-swamp conspiracy theory, that USAID is funding the some mythical ‘left-wing media ecosystem.’

Mr. Trump said on his Truth Social site that “billions of dollars” from U.S.A.I.D. and other agencies had improperly gone to the “fake news media.” He spread a claim that Politico, a “left wing rag,” had received $8 million, and questioned if The New York Times and other outlets had also received payments.

yeah, no. none of that is true. it’s a wild exaggeration at best.

U.S.A.I.D. paid $44,000 to Politico during the 2023 and 2024 fiscal years, according to the spending records, which described the two contracts as for “E&E news subscriptions.” E&E News covers energy and environmental issues.

the program was bipartisan — members of Congress from both sides of the aisle received subscriptions to Politico. for fuck’s sake, even Handy Oakley’s staffers got subscriptions.

but that didn’t stop Handy from running her versatile mouth.

USAID is the new right-wing bogeyman. parents are using it to terrify their children. ‘eat your broccoli or USAID will get you.’

Politico, it must be noted, is most certainly not a lefty publication. the rag is owned by Axel Springer SE, a Berlin-based org that was founded by Axel Springer, basically Germany’s Rupert Murdoch. Politico is hardly a hotbed for Marxist-Leninist dialectics. in fact, they sanewashed Donny’s campaign blitherings just as eagerly as every other news source.

so yeah, awesome job, Politico. none of your sucking up saved you from Donny’s wrath.

back to the speech. hallucinating half-wit Donny is continuing to brag about how he saved California.

“the environmentalists don’t want water. they still don’t want it. if they had their choice, they don’t wanna. I said, ‘are you crazy?’ and I opened — I’m sure you’ve seen it, the water comes down from the northwest parts of Canada, I guess, but the Pacific Northwest. and it comes down by millions and millions of barrels a day and uh, I opened it up. it wasn’t that easy to do. but I opened it up and it’s pouring down and it’s a beautiful thing.”

it’s true, we environmentalists don’t want anyone to have water. remember what General Ripper said about communists in that great cold-war documentary, Dr. Strangelove?

“have you ever seen a commie drink water?”

no, you haven’t, and you’re not going to — because fuck your precious bodily fluids.

we’ve discussed to death Donny’s childlike misunderstanding of how water works, as well as that clownfuckery last week, where he almost flooded Central California by releasing 2.2 billion gallons of water that was being held in reserve. there’s no need to rehash it again — but here’s a tale of how completely hoodwinked Donny’s cultists are. farmers in Central California — one of Donny’s staunchest constituencies — are sticking with their guy, even though he just potentially destroyed their livelihoods.

SACRAMENTO, California — California farmers — some of President Donald Trump’s staunchest supporters in the deep blue state — are sticking with him, even after he wasted their water.

Zack Stuller, a farmer with citrus and almond orchards he irrigates from the reservoirs and president of the Tulare County Farm Bureau in the state’s arid Central Valley, said the situation “definitely was a little nerve-wracking for a while.”

But, he said, “I’m a farmer. I have a conservative mindset. I encourage the trigger-pulling attitude, like, ‘Hey, let’s just get stuff done.’”

Dear Leader just took their future and fucked it seven ways from breakfast — and their attitude is hey, shit happens. I’m sure he had a good reason. at this point, there’s probably nothing Donny could do that would alienate the cultists. he could show up at their front doors, demanding to sleep with their spouses, and they’d be all well, after all, it is the right of kings.

now fasten your seatbelt and get ready for a wild ride, because here comes Donny to explain how he’s going to completely fuck the shit out our air traffic control system.

“we’re all gonna sit down and do a great computerized system for our control towers. brand new. not pieced together, obsolete, like it is, land-based. trying to hook up a land-based system to a satellite system. the first thing that some experts told me when this happened is you can’t hook up land to satellites and you can’t hook up satellites to land. it doesn't work. we spend billions of billions of dollars trying to renovate an old, broken system, instead of just saying cut it loose, and let's spend less money and build a great system done by two or three companies, very good companies, specialists, that’s all it is. they used 39 companies. that means that 39 different hookups have to happen. and I don’t know how many people of you are good in terms of all of the kinds of things necessary for that. and it’s very complex stuff. but when you have 39 different companies working on hooking up different cities at different people. you need one company. with one set of equipment. and there are some countries that have unbelievable air controller systems. and they would’ve, bells would’ve gone off when that helicopter literally even hit the same height. because it traveled a long distance before it hit. It was just like, just wouldn't stop. follow the line. but bells and whistles would’ve gone off. they have ’em where it actually could virtually turn the thing around. but would’ve just never happened if we had the right equipment. and one of things that’s gonna be, I’m gonna speaking to John and to Mike and to Chuck and everybody, we have to get together and just as a single bill just pass where we get the best control system. when I land in my plane, privately, I use a system from another country because my captain tells me, I’m landing in New York and I’m using a sy— I won’t tell you what country, but I use a system from another country because the captain says ‘this thing is so bad, it's so obsolete. and we can’t have that.”

what. the. fuck. is. Donny. gibbering. about.

he’s ‘using a system from another country’? and he won’t tell is where it’s from? why?

last week Donny blamed planes falling out of the sky on all the woke, but this week it’s a software problem? what changed, bro?

wait, I know what changed.

“the first thing that some experts told me when this happened is you can’t hook up land to satellites and you can’t hook up satellites to land.”

“some experts” — now, who does Donny know who considers himself an expert on everything, and who also runs a company that makes satellites?

that’s right: the Space Nazi. he was probably in Day Three of a ketamine binge, and started yammering to Donny about hey you know I could redo the whole system from scratch because no one knows more than I do about software I’ll bet it would only take me a weekend I could do it in my spare time and it would be amazing and everything will be run through my satellites yeah yeah oh man I’ll have my lawyers draw up some contracts and wow did you ever look at the back of your hand? I mean really look at the back of your hand? it’s intense, man.

the thing is, the Space Nazi doesn’t know shit about software. like Donny, he’s just a master bullshit artist who has no fucking clue what he’s talking about.

look, we went sixteen years without a major air disaster. shit didn’t go sideways until Donny fired the entire Airline Safety Committee, and the Space Nazi forced the head of the FAA to resign, without replacing him. that’s when planes started falling out of the sky.

our air traffic control system was most certainly not broke, but here comes Donny to hand the whole shebang over to the the guy who makes rockets that randomly explode into flames, and cars that randomly explode into flames, and social media apps that randomly explode into flames.

what could possilby go wrong.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on BlueSky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.