315 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I don't have a Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit today — for a change, I was too focused on writing to play with my phone. what have I missed?

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

wait, I found it.

"Here is a video of new Acting Navy Secretary Hung Cao asking for a KKK hood with 'slits' as eye holes instead of circles so he can see better"

https://bsky.app/profile/factpostnews.bsky.social/post/3mk64jiv3a22z

HI2thDoc's avatar

Yeah, he just bigoted himself as an Asian. And if anyone has hoods available, of course it's Bannon

rlritt's avatar

Maybe Hung doesn't realize he's not white and that his appointment was a token because Trump thought his name was funny.

Stephen Brady's avatar

Back in the 70s I ran hotels. At one there were 2 banquet waiters one from Thailand named Twat and the other from Cambodia named Phuc. Both nice, hardworking guys. Just unfortunate names.

HI2thDoc's avatar

haha, yeah, foreign names and words can sometimes sound funny in English. There used to be a shop in Honolulu, a Korean apparel shop I think, named Assibang. No joke. They changed it after a short time.

Stephen Brady's avatar

I first found out about them when I went to our largest banquet hall to check on setup for a big function. I walked in and the Banquet Manager (a woman) was shouting across the room “Twat! Twat!”.

Deb Pierce's avatar

My favorite goldsmith in Kuala Lumpur was Fook King Loong. They're closed now, but my American friends thought the name was hilarious.

KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

I thought prez fuckwit said this!! HAHA!

James Starr's avatar

he probably owns a white hood dry cleaning service

HI2thDoc's avatar

Border Wall Dry Cleaning. Hoods and robes only. Whites only (both garments and patrons)

P123Sunny's avatar

Race to the bottom y’all

Tess's avatar

Another idiot who thinks he’s cool! Hang it up Hung! :)

Mingo's avatar

Haven't we reached the end of the clown car cavalcade yet? Yesterday some female underling at I believe, national intelligence, was outed for running a sugar daddy scam. This is the worst game of limbo.

eliza james's avatar

Hung Cow has also told lies about military service and being blown up left and right but no one in the military seems to be aware of this. So there's that. Seems the most important quality to be a part of this administration is to be a pathological liar and disconnected from reality.

Mara in Mountains's avatar

I remember all that from his brief campaign against US Senator Tim Kaine. It was a combination of shocking and pathetic.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Hung needs to be locked up and set straight by Wendy the Druid. The full wiccan treatment. Wendy, work your magic!

Denise Donaldson's avatar

Note: the "full wiccan treatment" would consist of talking to him about the importance of respect for Mother Nature and of harming no one. So....probably not effective for a warfighting warfighter. Other witches might have other ideas. Just sayin'.

celeste k.'s avatar

he would be bored to death. Think of it!

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Republican “humor” is painfully unfunny.

James Starr's avatar

He seems so happy and ready to commit war crimes with dear leader with a smile

Abby From Maine's avatar

Jesus H Christ on a crutch!

SPW's avatar

Where do you manage to find shit like this? I had heard he was bad but this is truly awful.

Jan Moon's avatar

Okay, that's it. Insanity cubed always renders me speechless, short of breath and completely immobile. I can't even . . .

Nancy's avatar

was just going to mention that.

Schnauzermom's avatar

You just can’t make this shit up.

https://deanblundell.substack.com/p/breaking-laura-loomer-loses-bill?r=dw3r6&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

The best part? Wherein we learn that Sporky herself, Marjorie Taylor Greene, puts Arby’s roast beef “in her pants”.

Ok. I’m not a man. I know that many men will eat literally anything. But JFC…I’d have to be moments from death to get anywhere near anything that’s ever touched Sporky’s lady bits. 🤢🤢

HI2thDoc's avatar

Kash's defamation suit against Frank Figliuzzi got tossed

2Cats2Furious's avatar

Right after he filed his defamation lawsuit against The Atlantic! I love this for him.

HI2thDoc's avatar

I so wanna see that one get tossed too

T L Mills's avatar

I can't decide...certainly getting it tossed quickly would be the best outcome for Patel........but, but, but I bought extra popcorn for the lawsuit's discovery phase.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Oh, you will definitely have the opportunity to eat your popcorn.

T L Mills's avatar

😄👍🏼💝

BluDotInARedSewer's avatar

plus, it’ll cost him more every minute until it is tossed out. 😉

Bob Bowden's avatar

I’m confused, because cows are female. Has the MAGAverse decided which restroom Hung Cao should use?

Bob Bowden's avatar

Donny should be put out to pasture, so he can grab the hung cows by the - whatever. If you’re a farmer, they let you do it

Diana's avatar

I chuckled 🤭 great post!

Mara's avatar

I’m gasping 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

HI2thDoc's avatar

Let's get Nancy Mace's take on this.

rlritt's avatar

Maybe (s)he's trans. That would 2 DEI hires in one.

Bob Bowden's avatar

Maybe if they suddenly fill the military with DEI hires, tRump can blame them for the Iran War failure

George in Atlanta's avatar

Genius strategy! And not at all implausible. It's called ablative armor, stack on shit you can afford to lose. Like Kegsbreath and J. Edgar Boozer of the Liquor Cabinet. Wait for it.

2Cats2Furious's avatar

You beat me to it.

Kay-El's avatar

“Donald Trump says the US has "total control" over the Strait of Hormuz - and says they will "shoot and kill" any boat laying mines there” BBC

Mike Hammer's avatar

Shoot and kill any boat. I guess in some way that makes sense.

Lisa Bieber's avatar

Boatkiller McBonespurs

Lisa Bieber's avatar

Gotta give Jeff most of the credit for that one.

Suel J's avatar

Can't help but wonder what the hell the Iranians think. Betting it's not good

Colette Hayden Haas's avatar

They’re too busy laughing and posting funny ( yet true!) stuff about IT!

rlritt's avatar

I know. Really. Maybe that's Trump's devious plan. He'll attack while they're laughing their heads' off.

Doc Blase''s avatar

They'll die laughing. There's the concept of a plan.

Doc Blase''s avatar

I was stuck in my car most of Wednesday when I heard our ABC radio 'outlet'* play a clip of Karolying Leavitt saying how Dumpty 'realizes' Iran is in a "weak position".

So weak that they have literally stopped all traffic out of the Strait of Epstein.

(*outlet, as in outhouse)

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I'm so used to his "stupid" I didn't even catch that. But somehow I think the Iranians, who only execute real women, not AI generated women, are a few steps ahead of Smegmaseth.

Mingo's avatar
2hEdited

Iran's retort was they could cut the undersea cables supplying internet to the rest of the middle east and possibly the world. Right back at you Donnie.

Zija Pulp's avatar

Apparently nothing. But by noon there’ll be something no doubt.

Susan Niemann's avatar

Have you guys seen Iran’s latest LEGO videos? Hilarious.

HI2thDoc's avatar

The strait is open!

The strait is closed!

Which is it now?

Who even knows

The ceasefire is on!

The ceasefire is off!

He can't make up his mind

The Iranians scoff

Such unstable bullshit

Each time he speaks

Perpetual chaos

Another two weeks

Cathy Wray's avatar

Another wonderful poem!!!😄

Susan Niemann's avatar

You need to put all these in a book ! 🤣🤣👏👏👏

HI2thDoc's avatar

With a testimonial from Melania: "I haayte thees booockk!"

Sheila Riley-Callahan's avatar

Love this. Nice job! 👏👏👏👏

SoCal TomW's avatar

The Trump business behind Truth Social is replacing a former congressman and big supporter of the president as the leader of the social media platform after a stock collapse that wiped out billions in investor wealth.

T L Mills's avatar

Ah, Devin Nunes out on his butt....again. One might be forgiven for thinking that Nunes doesn't have all that much on the ball, mightn't one?

P123Sunny's avatar

‘Shit That Happened…’ (looking more like a viable spin-off everyday)

Abby From Maine's avatar

HA! Good for you!

Morty's avatar

Most of the women are real. Doesn’t mean Trump’s not lying, but you can’t take random Iranian State twitter accounts at their word either.

https://www.theverge.com/policy/917180/trump-iran-ai-women-bita-hemmati

Carol C's avatar

The photos of the women are unrealistic. The poses. One of them even has Mar-a-Lago face. No doubt real women protesters are in jail, in danger of execution. Not the ones pictured.

Mike Hammer's avatar

Didn’t Trump say that he stopped 8 wars and now there’s 8 women. Hmm.. the plot thickens. The 8th letter of the alphabet is H. So 2= HH or Heil Hitler. Which reminds me of a story. I read that the Porsche wheels spin at 88. RPM shows a faint swastika appearing in the center hub. Don’t take my word for it. Check it out on YouTube, Porsche Logo Swastika Test. it’s hilarious. Remember, Bugattis are fast, Ferraris are faster, but Porsche are fascist.

SethTriggs's avatar

It's racist serendipity!

Morty's avatar

Which make is the fascist, Porsche or Tesla?

Bonnie Boyce's avatar

Maybe he has 8 Black friends?

Dave Drell's avatar

Who- Drumpf? 8 black friends?

He has NO friends - nobody can stand his narcissistic

dumbass

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Damn, and I own 2 of them.

myhoopbabies's avatar

Is there some weird, racist tie-in with "Back to the Future" here? Wasn't the required speed for time travel 88 mph? 🤔

Kathleen Weber's avatar

"but wait — it gets stupider!"

Wrong, Jeff. We hit absolute stupid a long time ago, the temperature at which normal brains can no longer function. That's why Donnie feels perfectly at home!!

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

To the tune of BLOWING IN THE WIND

How many times must the newspapers fall

For Drumpf's mendacious lies

And how many times must Amazon send

Us pictures of Melania's thighs

And how many times must Don Junior do coke

Until it pops out of his eyes?

The answer my friend

A blue tsunami soon

The answer's a blue tsunami soon.

How many times must Iran have Drumpf's nuts

Tied in a Gordian knot

And how many times must they laugh at his posts

And call him a misshapen twat?

And how many times must he threaten to blow up

Bridges and power plants, WHAT?

The answer my friend

A blue tsunami soon

The answer's a blue tsunami soon!

Mike Hammer's avatar

Kinda like Trumpsters in the Dumpsters after “Bungle in the Jungle” by Jethro Tull.

Lisa Bieber's avatar

That's alright by me

Jane's avatar

😂😂😂

HI2thDoc's avatar

Awesome! Although Dylan is dismayed

HI2thDoc's avatar

A little while from now

Will the press ask Hung Cao

By then another hack

Who drumpf stabbed in the back

The latest sacrificial cow

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

Is that Gilbert O'Sullivan? Excellent!

HI2thDoc's avatar

Haha, I hadn't thought of that. Yeah, after he gets thrown under the drumpf bus, Hung will be alone again, naturally

arne link's avatar

Oh, you people. When I get all these references, I realize that I am really old. It's fun to be with my Peeps.

Robert Eckert's avatar

I wrote another verse to that song (and wrote a couple verses to Maggie's Farm too)

How many times must a man bang his head

Before he can see-ee the shelf?

How much money can one man waste

Trying to fix things by himself?

Yes and how many times can one man forget

Anniversary is August the twelfth?

The answer, my dear, is blow it out your ear,

The answer is blow it out your ear.

Robert Eckert's avatar

My other Dylanesque opus:

I ain't gonna work for Maggie's sister no more,

Naw I ain't gonna work for Maggie's sister no more,

She winks when no-one's looking,

Tries to lure you to her bed,

The face on that woman

Would frighten the dead,

I'd rather go out naked into war,

I ain't gonna work for Maggie's sister no more.

I ain't gonna work for Maggie's cousin no more,

Naw I ain't gonna work for Maggie's cousin no more,

His eyes are always bugging

Halfway out of his head,

I never could follow

One word that he said,

Half of it is nonsense, that's for sure,

I ain't gonna work for Maggie's cousin no more.

Cathy Wray's avatar

I love the see-ee !! Haha!!

Dave Drell's avatar

Frosty with another weiner…er winner! 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

Mike Hammer's avatar

Brilliant! Needs to go viral.

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

Can you help? I don't know how to do that....

Spread the word!~

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Can we expand the offer of the Pulitzer to any journalist who says, “What the fuck is wrong with you” to KKKaroline Leavitt?

George A. Polisner's avatar

Thank you Jeff.

One wonders if those eight women are now on their way to Epstein-Trump-Maxwell island where the pedo criminal elect "saved" so many others.

Denise Donaldson's avatar

Nope. They're all over 15, so too old.

arne link's avatar

Dumb Donnie has an unhealthy fascination with beautiful men and the size of their junk. I think he has had a secret life with Epstein and Cohn.

Terri Nighswonger's avatar

Trump is a disgusting creep. No brain disgusting degenerate.

Tess's avatar

What in the actual fuck is happening? The idiocy of this administration covering up for the demented person in the oval office. Does no one in there know what AI is and what a joke the 8 fake women were? But then he saves them…thank God. Jesus…I’m losing it reading this shit! I’m swearing too much-sorry. And Hung Cao…because he likes the word “hung” no doubt. Good for Ukraine and the donnyland….now maybe they will get some backing….I’m in a daze…!!!!!! Have a good Thursday to all!

Paula Dean's avatar

Isn't it ironic that we are questioning our own sanity? I was finally climbing out of my personal abyss of Major Depressive Disorder, and feeling pretty proud of my hard work, and then along came Donny.

Did you hear that he's directed the NIH to add "Trump Derangement Syndrome" to the list of medical mental health disorders? Too bad he's made sure that insurance coverage is harder than ever to get, or we'd all qualify for treatment.

Tess's avatar

Frosty McGillicuddy needs a song to that one ….”And Then Along Comes Donny…….” :)

Susan Niemann's avatar

And how could the press treat this as real? FFS! 🤦‍♀️

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Do we still have a real press? The 33% who claim they approve of Trump's performance are probably bogus too.

Susan Niemann's avatar

👍🏻👍🏻 agree!

HI2thDoc's avatar

They drank the KKKarolying KKKool AId

Zija Pulp's avatar

I know! Does no one in the WH have any control over what Djt reads or, at least, responds to? This is dereliction of duty.

rlritt's avatar

I'd like to know who told Donnie they were saved? What if he invites them to the White House? Can they find look a like models.

Jennifer's avatar
4hEdited

The worst part of all this (ahahha! as if there's only one) is how the other side would lose their shit if any Dem had done a fraction of what this guy is doing.

I wrote this in a book (as yet unpublished) "I felt like I was going insane. Or the entire fucking world had, and I was the only sane person left. Which, when you think about it, is the same thing."

That's us, my friends. That is us.

HI2thDoc's avatar

"We have met the enemy and he is us." --Walt Kelly, in his comic strip Pogo

Sher''s avatar

It's relentless and absurd.... as well as dangerous and exhausting.

Mark Slattery's avatar

If there was a child posting the insane shit, lies and threats, (especially at 3 a.m) any fit parent would be seeking medical help. And if the parent were unfit, schools and agencies would be stepping. How the fuck is this pos still in office. 25th Amendment NOW.

Dave Drell's avatar

But there IS a child posting this shit…. it’s Donny Dachau himself! a whining insecure meathead!

M B's avatar

I saw the headline, then the photos and immediately said to myself: “AI”.

The stupid, it burns.

arne link's avatar

I kkknow. Those are shots of models in full make-up. Donnie is a moron, but he is destroying our country and that makes him a dangerous moron.

Kim Steeves's avatar

Who is going to tell him that women in Iran are not allowed to have their hair uncovered, and their faces covered by veils?

Sher''s avatar

Of course he'd never ever consider saving the lives of 8 'not beautuful' Iranian women anyway... Who does he think he's fooling? 🤔

HI2thDoc's avatar

Saving 8 AI women is somehow more laudable than murdering 160 real schoolgirls. What say you, RFK Jr? Is this somehow a 600% improvement?

2Cats2Furious's avatar

I was told there would be no math.

HI2thDoc's avatar

And that there would be cake

Zija Pulp's avatar

My thought exactly. What if a few of them had moles with hairs popping out of them on their faces? Would those women be exonerated or not?

Sher''s avatar

I gave some serious doubts! 😊

Dave Drell's avatar

It’s all bullshit with him

27/7/365

HI2thDoc's avatar

Dave, we can award him 3 extra hours for all that overnight shitposting he does, so 27 works

Dave Drell's avatar

Whew- thanks - my editing

skillz need wurk on.

Robert Eckert's avatar

Well, it's like Rick Perry said, a stopped clock is right three times a day, there's the AM, and the PM, and... I forget the third one, OOPS!

HI2thDoc's avatar

Holy shit, that dumbass was Gubner of Texass for over 14 years, then Secretary of Energy under drumpf, the only elected official dumber than him. When Perry was nominated for SecEnergy, he didn't know that the job entailed oversight of America's nuclear reactors and arsenal. So of course the shitheads in the GOP confirmed him.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

That old saw “these jokes don’t write themselves” doesn’t really apply with this gang of idiots and the idiot-in-chief. Boy, am I glad you keep delivering.

SethTriggs's avatar

When you're protected by Murc's Law, it's no longer necessary to be attached to reality. Accountability...responsibility for public and private behavior...those are only for Democrats. That's why Democrats make sure to minimize scandal.

Every person in Maladministration 2.0, from America's Pilonidal Cyst on down, is hand-picked to be the worst person possible for the job. That way, with the federal government fatally weakened, it leaves the unreconstructed state-based regimes of terror free to wild out. And of course, it makes the protections of the minorities that the unreconstructed hate weakened...and that's perfect to execute the racial, ethnic and sexual cleansing 77 million + Americans voted/non-voted for.

We have to dig deep to get out of this. Remember this fall and in any upcoming special elections...for a semblance of a check on Maladministration 2.0...Congress must change hands.

An impeachment+removal-sized majority is the ONLY way.

Ann Anderson's avatar

No one can say to which level of hell KKKaroline has consigned herself, but I'm pretty sure there will be no podium, no lip filler, no flag, no manicure, no false eyelashes, no peroxide. etc. She's nothing but artifice. No there there. Speaking of nothingness, whoever created those AI Iranian chicks knows Donald's taste. They'd all be welcome at Mar a Lardo.

arne link's avatar

KKKkaroline has a rich old husband. She's locked him in with two devil spawn. She'll be fine. Sadly.

Ann Anderson's avatar

You can't take it with you

HI2thDoc's avatar

A false narrative eagerly and fawningly presented as fact by KKKarolying and Faux. No wonder so many here are clueless.

s.Michael Morgan's avatar

Thank you, Jeff, for the Iranian women story. We have all crossed over to the Twilight Zone now!

rlritt's avatar

And the sad thing is there are real women sitting in Iranian jails.

Susan Niemann's avatar

That’s the truth. 🙄

Diana's avatar

Yes exactly ~~~Twilight Zone

Johnny Mathis's avatar

I know WE all know, but doesn't saving 8 AI women qualify Donny for 25th Amendment treatment? Hello, hello, Bueller? Anyone??!!