Aileen Cannon is up to her evil fuckery again

Judge Fangirl named Trump Employee of the Month for the 12th consecutive time

Aileen Cannon is so fucking easy to loathe. amateurish, dumb as shit, and totally in the tank for Little Donny Convict, she’s less a judge and more a member of Donny’s own legal team.

Aileen Fangirl is, of course, the judge presiding over the Big Trump Stolen Classified Document Fuckery Trial.

this should have been a no-brainer of a trial. Donny Convict stole a shit-ton of our country’s most closely-guarded secrets and, when asked nicely by the National Archives to pretty-please give them back, he was all no, eat a bowl of fuck.

he then hid them, pawed through them, moved them, stashed them in the unspeakably ugly shitter of his Florida golf motel, hid them again, blew off a subpoena, lied to his lawyers, and instructed his pool boy and butler to destroy surveillance videos that showed him doing all of this. he even treated these stolen documents like his own personal trophies, scrawling to-do lists across them, waving them in the faces of randos at his New Jersey wife cemetery, and bragging about their contents to his plutocrat golf cronies.

if you or I tried to get away with any of this shit, justice would have been quick and merciless. we’d already be rotting in some hellhole prison — the kind they reserve for spies.

but this hasn’t happened to Little Donny Convict, because he’s a Very Special Boy who got to appoint his very own judge in the district where he did these crimes — after he had already lost the election — and Judge Fangirl has been more than willing to pay him back by tolerating every single one of his delay tactics.

Donny would like his Classified Document Fuckery Trial put off until how about never, is never good for you, and Aileen is doing everything she can to help.

the trial is already in limbo due to a mountain of unresolved issues that Aileen refuses to act upon. in the last 24 hours Aileen has made three inexplicable decisions — each one pushing the trial further into how about never territory.

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first, Judge Fangirl has agreed to hold a hearing over Trump’s assertion that the Special Counsel Act is unconstitutional and that Jack Smith has a stupid beard and this whole trial should go bye-bye.

Judge Cannon kept in place a hearing she had set for June 21 to discuss a motion by Mr. Trump’s lawyers to dismiss the indictment on the grounds that Jack Smith, the special counsel named to oversee the prosecutions of Mr. Trump, was illegally appointed to his job.

any other judge in the universe would have laughed this stupidity out of court and slapped Trump with a writ of get the fuck out of here with this bullshit — because this is already a settled matter. Donny tried to pull this same shit against Robert Mueller in 2019 and the District of Columbia Court of Appeals took about seven seconds to rule fuck no, denied.

Judge Fangirl, of course, is not bound by the rulings of the DC Appeals Court, but she should respect the precedent that has been set, and not relitigate some Trumpian lawyer’s delay-tactic fever dream.

Although not binding on Judge Cannon, who sits in the Eleventh Circuit Court of Appeals, the decision has strong persuasive force, and it’s a unanimous, conclusive opinion—the court didn’t struggle to reach the result. No court has held or even seriously questioned the lawfulness of a special counsel appointment, across multiple appointments through the years.

the second judicial war crime committed by Judge Fangirl was the cancellation of a three-day hearing that had been set to take place starting June 24.

The hearing was originally meant to consider whether Mr. Trump’s lawyers should be permitted access to communications between prosecutors working for Mr. Smith and officials at the National Archives and several national security agencies.

The lawyers want those communications to bolster their claims that Mr. Smith worked hand in glove with the Biden administration and members of the so-called deep state to bring the documents case against Mr. Trump.

oh great, more the deep state is out to get me batshittery from Team Trump — another whackadoodle notion that any reasonable judge would have laughed out of court. but Aileen isn’t laughing. she’s creating more delay-tactic fuckery by removing this hearing from her calendar and putting it off until how about never.

In her order on Wednesday, she said she would place the hearing back on her calendar at some point in the future.

“at some point in the future” — like, how about after the heat death of the universe?

the third — and most clownfuckiest — war crime committed by Cannon was to agree to an amicus briefing by three complete randos.

now, what’s an amicus?

An amicus curiae (literally “friend of the court”) is someone who is not a party to a case, but offers information that bears on the case, and has not been solicited by any of the parties to assist a court.

An amicus curiae brief is a learned treatise, that is, a text that is sufficiently authoritative in its field to be admissible as evidence in a court, and is a way to introduce concerns ensuring that (the possibly) broad legal effects of a court decision will not depend solely on the parties directly involved in the case. The decision on whether to admit the information lies at the discretion of the court.

that’s all well and good, but the three amici whom Judge Cannon has agreed to hear from are not “authoritative” — they’re literally randos.

It’s fair for Judge Cannon to take an independent look, but it’s odd to ask for still more input from random non-parties who showed up with amicus briefs to express their opinion on this topic.

we don’t yet know who these amici are, but most likely they’re Trump cronies who have filled Donny’s ear with nonsense about why he has the right to pilfer nuclear war plans.

people like Tom Fitton, a professional crackpot.

Tom Fitton is a shill for President Trump and runs the conservative legal organization Judicial Watch, which regularly pushed misinformation about Hillary Clinton during the 2016 election. Fitton regularly appears on Fox shows where he bashes Trump’s political opponents.

Tom Fitton is one of the reasons Donny is in this mess.

Tom Fitton, president of conservative activist group Judicial Watch, argued to Trump that the White House files belonged to him and that he should not have let the National Archives and Records Administration “strong-arm” him into returning the documents.

here’s one thing you need to know about Tom Fitton: he’s not a lawyer — he’s just some dude who pulls legal theories out of his ass and tells Donny Convict what he wants to hear.

and yet, later this month, Judge Fangirl is going to let this no-nothing dipshit — or someone just like him — into her courtroom, and listen attentively as he explains his crazy-ass interpretation of the Presidential Records Act. Aileen will then thank him for his time, nod her head sagely, and announce that she will submit a ruling how about never.

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here’s what’s infuriating: none of the shit that Aileen has pulled here is illegal, or unethical — it’s just stupid and unnecessary. none of this Trumpian bluffoonery needs to be tolerated. imagine if Judges Engoron or Merchan were in charge of this trial. they would have shut this shit right down, and chewed out the lawyers for wasting the court’s time.

but not Judge Fangirl. she’s perfectly content to do whatever makes Trump happy.

and, because none of this fuckery involves an appealable decision, there’s not a thing that Jack Smith can go to the 11th Circuit about — not until she actually rules on all this bullshit she’s sitting on.

it’s frustrating that this trial won’t happen until long after the 2024 election — if at all — because of all of Trump’s legal entanglements, this one is the easiest for the public to grasp: Donny got caught stealing shit that didn’t belong to him. open and shut.

two days from now — June 8 — will be the one-year anniversary of Trump’s indictment under the espionage act. this trial should have been long over by now, and Convicted Felon Donald Trump should be Twice Convicted Felon Donald Trump.

the voters have a right to know.

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let’s go out on a high note.

this video is from Seattle in 2018 but it’s new to me and I can’t stop watching it.