389 Comments
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Krista Allen's avatar

"too bad Junior doesn’t have a father like Joe Biden." That is the most drop-the-mic sentence you've ever written, Jeff.

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Demetria Livingston's avatar

Once again, beautifully written!

Please let the Trump nightmare end and let the MAGATS crawl back into their delusional hidey holes!

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Eileen's avatar

After I read that closing statement, all I could say was oooh. Makes me wonder how the pretend Christians would twist themselves in a pretzel arguing that Donny is the better father.

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Nevertheless, She Persisted's avatar

and the better husband, lol

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Abigail Norling's avatar

Melanoma is counting the seconds until he is put away or dies.

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Peaceful Mary T.'s avatar

Many of us are!

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

Junior can fuckety fuck right off to croakland.

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Patricia Gomes's avatar

From coke land to croak land ! He won’t even need a map. Love it ! 👏🏆🏆

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Deb's avatar

I would bet that Individual 1 Junior 'sees' thousands of people that aren't really there and that no one else does!

If he wouldn't be an absolute POS, I might actually feel sorry for him at times like this...but NAH!

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W.C. Jones's avatar

He was taking a selfie with his fans. All none of them.

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Robert R's avatar

Maybe some concerned soul will fix him up with a hot bag!😵😵☠️

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Don'tBlameTheDog's avatar

Amen.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

I’m sure deep down he does wish that.

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insert_something_creative's avatar

Yeah, I'd almost feel bad for him if he wasn't such an unrepentant shithead.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

If Don Jr was a stronger and let's face it, a less damaged person, he would be able to break from his terrible father and pull a "Claudia Conway" as she did when she posted "adopt me AOC" on social media. But we know Jr will never stop groveling.

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Susan P Thatcher's avatar

Amen

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Susan Kemp's avatar

Ronnie JACKson has called for President Biden to be drug tested before the debate. I think that’s a great idea as long as the combover Caligula is also tested, and frisked for powdered substances, and isolated so he can’t get more from his flunkies. If I have to listen to the electrocution/shark story or about how there’s no water pressure or about windmills causing cancer again, I may just run screaming into the night. Keep up the good work, Jeff, you’re helping to keep me sane.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

"Combover Caligula"! Thats awesome. 😂😂😂

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

I think it's on Mary's Hall's list

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Susan Niemann's avatar

OK. Who is Mary Hall? 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Mary Hall's avatar

Hi Susan. I've been keeping a list of monikers for TSF and "Cantaloupe Caligula" and 'Comrade Combover' are on the list. I will add "Combover Caligula" toot sweet.

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Susan Kemp's avatar

I just saw another one on wonkette: Boaty McSharkbattery

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Mary Hall's avatar

Yes, I saw that one too and it's on the list.

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Kimmy's avatar

Hot damn I just choked on my iced tea 😂😂😂

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Susan Niemann's avatar

oooooohhhhh.... GOOD ONE !😂😂😂

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bruce somers's avatar

Do you have 'Mango Mussolini'??

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shee-rah's avatar

Lots of “Mangos.”

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shee-rah's avatar

Yes.

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Mary Hall's avatar

Yes, that's on my list.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I did....there are so many, I know I'm missing some.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

MARY! Good for you! I've been keeping one as well...and have likely missed several. We should combine our efforts! :) I love it!!

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Stephen Brady's avatar

Maybe, at some point you 2 could post your lists? I might laugh myself into a cracked rib, but it would be worth it.

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shee-rah's avatar

I have a list too. I’m up to 128 names.

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arne link's avatar

Thank you for your contribution to history. May your list be long and lasting.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Do you have "Bronzo the Malignant"? That's my favorite.

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Mary Hall's avatar

I do not have that one. Thank you for your contribution, Natalie!

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Marla's avatar

Here's one of my personal faves: Vulgar Talking Yam, shorthanded to The Yam.

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Mary Hall's avatar

I love that one courtesy of my other favorite pundit, Charlie Pierce of Esquire magazine.

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

Scroll down you'll see if you ask her she might print the list today

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Mary Hall's avatar

Here are my most recent additions to the list:

Shouty McAllcaps

His MAGAsty

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I almost choked on His MAGAsty. 😂😂

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Those two I didnt have! Excellent!

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

Endlessly amusing and factual !!!!

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Mary Hall's avatar

Okay Ladies and Germs, for your viewing pleasure, I give you The List as of 6/24/24:

Wheezy Mussolini

Tangerine Tojo

Cheeto Benito

Cantaloupe Caligula

Traitor Tot

McDonald

Shitler

Hair Fuhrer

Dolt 45

Genghis Can’t

IQ 45

King Leer

Agent Orange

Cheetolini

Agolf Shitler

Manchurian Cantaloupe

Twitler

Prima Donald

The Lyin’ King

The Vulgar Talking Yam (courtesy of Charlie Pierce)

Cadet Fake Bone Spurs

Comrade Combover

Orange Foolius

Donnie Dinky Digits

Apricot Pol Pot

Little Donnie Two Scoops

Commander Clorox

Red Don

Old Yeller

Bein’ a dick Donald

Farty-five

Von Shitzinpantz

Pervert Hoover

Orange Turd

Cheeto-Dusted Cartoon Villain

Dictator Douchebag

Lord Buttstench

Groper Cleveland

Lord Fart LeRoy

Sir Crime-a-lot

Smelvis

Felonius Skunk

Lardass McGobbleburger

CONald Trump

Julius Sleazer

Donvict

Marmalade Shartcannon

Pee-resident

Trumpleshitskin

Boaty McSharkbattery (courtesy of Wonkette)

Rip Van Stinkle

Loathsome Rhodes

Shouty McAllcaps

His MAGAsty

Combover Caligula

Sundowning Grandpa Befuddlepants (courtesy of Jeff Tiedrich)

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Mary: Outstanding list! You are officially the keeper of the tRump Titles!

Add These!!

Captain Clownfuck

Donnie Diaperstain

Commander Buttstench

Sundowning Grandpa Farticus

Captain Ass Trombone

Little Donnie Luckyfuck

Shouty McAllcaps

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Sarah's avatar

This isn’t as clever as most of the ones on your list but here is my go to name for him - Orange Anus Face

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

A Billion thanks the most perfect list ever.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Very fitting. They have a lot in common.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

Jeff is helping to keep most of us sane. Like my wife just said; unbelievable. The barbaric ideology straight from the Nazi playbook is the platform that fuckface is running on and goes well with his health plan of nothing but empty pages. To think that people are cheering about this demented bullshit shows how MAGA society continues to slide closer to hell. Perhaps MAGA cage fighting with a matchup of Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller would generate a lot of interest.

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Bill Lawrence's avatar

The Hopium Chronicles will help, too.

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bruce somers's avatar

Have them fight over a big block of gubment cheese.

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Gaily's avatar

Love the cage fighting idea; something like the Claymation ‘Celebrity Death-match’ series that aired in 1998 for 6 seasons? It is flat-out hilarious, but definitely adult entertainment. Can be streamed via Paramount Plus, and all the “matches” are listed. (Find it via your search engine of choice)

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

It’s really not funny. Daughter of Holocaust victims here.

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Gaily's avatar

Omg! My apologies; I had to do some searching to figure out what you were referring to. There really are no lines that some power hungry people won’t cross. Now I’m even more frightened about what the Project 2025 monsters have in store for us

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Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Project 2025 was began by the Kochs and Leonard Leo. It was then introduced to The Heritage Foundation of which Leo was the head of. The foundation is set up on many Ivy League campuses and colleges all over the US to influence young students. It’s an indoctrination society (ie: Federalist Society) into the world of white people thinking they’re so oppressed now. They see the writing on the wall that the white population is diminishing with interracial relationships producing mixed race and cultures children. They can’t stand that religion is being threatened also. Especially, the Catholic religion is being questioned because of its sexual crimes against women and children, male and female. They have created and promoted Christian nationalism as it’s “their way or the highway”. I lost my grandparents in WWII, my mother’s parents. They were gassed in a van with 9 others at the camp known as Chelmno. They lost their lives for being Jews just like Blacks lost theirs in lynchings. Whites really do not have the greatest track record, as you can imagine. We have to keep these criminals at bay. We just have to!

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Gaily's avatar

The thought of you loosing your parents and grandparents like that is sickening and angering. I’m not being successful at fighting back tears for you. ~g

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P. J. Schuster's avatar

I got the impression that you were referring to the match between Steve Bannon & Stephen Miller and not the craziness of the migrants having to fight one another. I’m sure none of us thinks the latter scenario is funny.

But Bannon & Miller, yes

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arne link's avatar

Well, I would probably buy tickets to that match. What a poisonous pair.

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

I tried screaming into the night. It doesn't work either.

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

Chris, you need to scream into the right!

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

A short piece of iron pipe would work better.

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

😀

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Eileen's avatar

Combover Caligula is a perfect addition to the Dimwit Donnie lexicon.

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bruce somers's avatar

Dr. Ronny Pillpopper needs to be recalled to active duty,along with Michael Flynn,to answer for thier roles in the insurrection,he doesn't belong in Congress,he belongs in a cell.

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Douglas's avatar

I am positive that Trump was jacked up for his COVID ridden debate vs. Biden in ‘20….He had COVID & he attacked Biden like an enraged rabid lunatic. I love the Combover Caligula!

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shee-rah's avatar

Use the mute button on your TV.

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Doc Blase''s avatar

I use the OFF button. The less TV I see the better I feel.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

Come sit by me.

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bruce somers's avatar

😄😄😄😄😄

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Rick Calegari's avatar

You could have an entire cell block at Rikers for all of those insurrectionist imbeciles. Just think of all the cage fighting possibilities.

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Scott Bernstein's avatar

It's like we went to sleep one day and woke up in the Twilight Zone and this filthy, diseased-ridden, brain dead fuck became the leader of every sub-human piece of shit on earth. Good times........

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MountainBoyMike's avatar

well stated, Scott...I like your style

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Scott Bernstein's avatar

I'm refraining from using language that will get me banned from the internet and on some special lists........ ;)

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MountainBoyMike's avatar

yeah, I get it...there are things that I wish for every day that I can't type or put in writing...but I still wish for them to happen...but it turns out that intelligent compassionate empathetic people don't do these things that I wish for...only deranged delusional psychopaths do those things, and as a result, great people like JFK and RFK and MLK had shortened lives...so with any luck, emperor bloatus, the vile nazi sack of raw sewage piece of shit will choke on a fucking hamberder or just stroke out, or I don't care how he dies, just fucking die!!!!...and please have it be slow and painful...but I digress...

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Scott Bernstein's avatar

Intelligent, compassionate, empathetic people may not, but at the same time, you don't beat these sub-human nazi fucktards with please and thank you.........

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Doc Blase''s avatar

I have had this conversation with a friend. I asked him, how well would the "protest of 1776" gone?

The "declaration of concern, December 8, 1941"?

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Doc Blase''s avatar

There are professionals, too.

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Ethereal fairy Natalie's avatar

I got quite good at profanity that the WaPo censor could not catch. Example: Roger Stone is a self professed rodent copulator.

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Scott Bernstein's avatar

I lost my commenting privileges at the WaPo quite some time ago. I like a few of their writers (Jennifer Rubin in particular) , so I keep my on-line subscription. I literally told the New York Times to go suck a bag of syphilis-ridden dicks when I ended my subscription with them. I learned that one in Charm School. I'm guessing I'm no longer on their Hanukkah card list. Hope all is well with you and yours..........

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Eileen's avatar

Nailed it. Omg. I feel like this nightmare just won’t end. Zombie apocalypse!!!

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Mike Hammer's avatar

Fellonam Inflatio (Latin for The Flatulent Felon) strikes again.

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Betsy L's avatar

OMG. I'm going to remember that one.

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247kath's avatar

I think the pope could add that to a personal prayer for Agolf Shittler😂🤣

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Doc Blase''s avatar

That one's my favorite.

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Jr. looks like he just finished sharing couple of 8 Balls with dear old dad.. They both sound like fucking lunatics…. water pressure, dish washers, washing machines.. JFC… Calgon take me away, I can’t take it anymore..but first I’ve got laundry to do🥴

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Cassandra Here's avatar

Oh, that reminds me, I still have clothes in the dryer. Good thing I had water yesterday; I see the Biden folks out in my neighborhood with super big wrenches getting ready to take our water away to give it to the migrants.

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

That reminds me, I still have clothes in my dishwasher, I like a lot of LATHER, it seems to make them dryer, and more LUXURIANT. 🤪

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Carol C's avatar

Thanks for the belly laugh, Kristy.

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Fastball Fredo's avatar

Hey Kristy, you’re killing me over here… one of my fav stories is when my aunt( the world’s worst cook) prepared fresh NW salmon in the dishwasher on the dry cycle… 🤮

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂

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Mike Hammer's avatar

They’re stealing our jobs and our water! 🤣

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Doc Blase''s avatar

My job WAS stealing water, now both gone.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

Damn that Sleepy Joe! Always stealing my water!

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Kimmy's avatar

I’m picturing a giant water truck with Acme signage on it operated by some exaggerated cartoon characters sucking up our water with a hose that shows the big giant water bubbles moving through it like in some rabidly wrong dimension version of looney toons.

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shee-rah's avatar

🤣🤣🤣

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

What continues to astound me is his audience laughing & cheering

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Lisa Ham's avatar

Oh dear! I hope the liberals haven't stolen your water and the washing machine works! 🙏

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Doc Blase''s avatar

Just looks drunk to me.

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Donny’s gonna get a shot 💉💉💉in the 🫏🫏🫏ten minutes before the debate, and come out rambling🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ at a mile a minute 🚤🚤🚤about no-water dishwashers dragging a battery ' on a 🛒🛒🛒behind it while Hannibal Lecter fights a 🦈🦈🦈 to the death.🪦🪦🪦

YES! YES! YES! (please! please! please!)

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

Dishwasher Sharks?????

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

Dems are stealthy bastards. Do the research.

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Kimmy's avatar

The dishwasher sharks go well with washing machine alligators and all the other appliance animals that he believes operate the machines.

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

I'm being really careful now before I open the dishwasher and unload.

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Karen Livolsi's avatar

Just unload mine. Good so far…

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antlisa1201's avatar

Lector should use a “sword”fish for a weapon

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Timothy Fifer's avatar

I like it! Rolling all of agent orange’s fantasies into one nightmare! If you can’t see how unhinged agent orange has become from that , you‘ve been “cultified”!

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Timothy Fifer's avatar

So much to ridicule and so little time!

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Kathleen Weber's avatar

I just pasted a sentence that Jeff wrote and added some artwork.

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bruce somers's avatar

Best emoji work I've seen in awhile 😄

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Vickie Berry's avatar

🤣

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Trump is obviously off his rocker, but his supporters seem to all have some major personality problems as well. To accept and embrace his cruelty, hatred, and unhinged ranting? They would defend both him and themselves by saying he’s joking but those of us with a conscience know he’s not. He would absolutely do all the terrible things he says if he were able to. He likely wishes he could kill his critics, like his idol Putin does.

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bruce somers's avatar

MAGA is a mental illness.

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

The " joke " is on his moronic MAGATS,

It's not JUST that he " doesn't care about them " He's REPULSED by them & their gullibility.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

I’ve heard about the contempt for those being oppressed by their abusers. Seems about right. But then, every person is transactional to him. His only “relationship” type is using people for what he can get out of them.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

I would go further by saying he is incapable of loving anyone but himself. Even his famously creepy “affinity” for Ivanka is an exercise in ego since she is of him (and the handiwork of whatever plastic surgeons she’s benefitted from.) Truly an awful human being. A poster boy for contraception if ever there was one

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Timothy Fifer's avatar

Amen to his poster boy status! Actually he would be the alien bursting from the uterus of sigourney weaver in “alien”. Another excellent addition to that horror movie, seeing that orange head coming out of Sigourney!

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HI2thDoc's avatar

I doubt that Sigourney would consent to it, even in CGI

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Eileen's avatar

Esper: “He wanted to shoot the Black Lives Matter protesters.”

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

But just " in the legs " 😳

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Eileen's avatar

Omg. Incredible. Ask the Boston Marathon victims about the shrapnel in their legs and how minor that was… A whole documentary was done on the survivors and losing their legs and ruining our lives. What a dick.

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

Big arteries in the legs.

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Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Not anymore. He's moved up a few inches.

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Terri Nighswonger's avatar

All totally true.

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Mark L's avatar

Dishwasher and the Bible two things he Definetly does not know how to use.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

Or how to please a woman, according to Stormy

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Tama2U's avatar

He likes to tell jokes,” said Kevin McPherson. “This is expressing how some of these illegal immigrants coming [into] this country are hardened criminals. And he’s trying to show that yes, there are criminals here.”

The joke is him, Kev, and yes he’s a fking criminal. Criminals can even run for office in this country Kev. And lastly, Kev, the joke is on you.

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Karla's avatar

This is the post I’ve been waiting for and it didn’t disappoint. He has reached a new level of mentally gone that he’s not coming back from. What’s scary are the people who would gladly step in and take over for him, like Miller.

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bruce somers's avatar

I seem to remember after Jan 6th he started bellowing and having his tantrum, 'I won!! I won!! I won!! I'm not leaving!!'...half his Cabinet had resigned,no one was listening...

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Karla's avatar

Yes, and yet there are still people groveling to be on the ticket with him. Cult

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arne link's avatar

Those candidates know that if he wins he will flame out and they will be president by default.

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shee-rah's avatar

Or his cabinet members will Amendment 25, Section 4 him and install the VP as President.

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Kay-El's avatar

1. Did Agent Orange open and get his business closed the same day?

2. Cokehead Jr. is the grift that keeps on grifting.

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Douglas's avatar

Sadly..and due to perhaps the 'greatest' disinformation propoganda & Psy-Op in human history, all of this dangerous 'f*cknuttery' has been normalized for Trump. Just imagine if Biden...or Obama had said any ONE of the crazy statements D has made. The media would crucify a Dem for that....but now we just carry on....(I guess this is result of right wing take over of media no?)

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bruce somers's avatar

Fox did 72 hour hate/rage about Obama wearing a tan suit.

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Douglas's avatar

Oh those were the good times heh??? A tan suit freakout.

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Eileen's avatar

Completely agree. And Trump is crazy like a fox. He is such an expert liar and manipulator that he knows all of Philadelphia rubes and traveling regulars will walk out of that arena further troubled that Democrats want to take all the fun out of life. “They want to take our beef, our gas stoves, our trucks, our guns…And now they want to take our water! On top of all of that, they want to tax us to death and take all of our money and give it to the illegals.” He’s brilliant. Fill arenas, bread and circuses, and tell these people that he is Mr. fun president and Biden is doom and gloom and suffering. Here come the gladiators.

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Linda Fairchild's avatar

Fortunately, the arena in Philadelphia was half full, if that!

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Kerry Truchero's avatar

"holy fuck — is there not one person on this planet who cares enough about Individual-1 Junior to get him the help he so obviously needs?"

I wouldn't hold my breath for Kimberly Gargoyle to nurse him to health.

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Eileen's avatar

Kimberly Gargoyle. Holy cow, hilarious!

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Carol C's avatar

Yes, Gargoyle! Why would anyone do that to themselves? Does she not have any mirrors?

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Kimmy's avatar

I try to avoid commenting on people’s looks, but she’s an exception. And this nickname just sent me into hysterics. I despise sharing a first name with that creature. Her and Jr are horrrrrrrible.

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bruce somers's avatar

Oh God no,she's too busy working on that 'Daffy Duck' look she's apparently after.

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Sabine Nolke's avatar

One more parallel to Hitler, if we all can stand it: The speeches. The incoherent bellowing that has people cheering, even as they don't understand a word of what is being yelled at them. I mean, I'm a native German speaker and have seen enough clips of Hitler shouting without ever understanding a single word. Communication is highly overrated, if all you need to keep the cult in line is ramble on indeterminably at the highest possible volume.

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

Speaking of hopped up on drugs, I realized I'm down to seeds and stems so I'll be running up to the weed store to score s'more within the hour. Because Alien Cannon is holding hearings today. Sparking up at 1:00, 2:00, 3:00, etc etc, etc...........

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Mary Hall's avatar

"Down to Stems and Seeds Again" -- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAd-U6CYjIw

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M.T. Kelly's avatar

I'm more familiar with the Jesse Winchester version but this is great too Thanks.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Same here.

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Rick Calegari's avatar

These guys played at Winterland in SF quite often during the 70s and they always rocked the house.

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Linda Silfven's avatar

That “water” speech should be in the national nightly news so America can get a good look at what half of them are supporting. This idiot with his finger on the nuclear button?

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bruce somers's avatar

When even Fox cuts away...Houston...we have a problem

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Kristy Kanen's avatar

HE'S the DRIP.

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