hey, remember when Kamala Harris warned everyone that Donny Convict would send the military after us — and the press was all “shut the fuck up, laughing lady, prove you worked at McDonald’s”?
that was fun, wasn’t it?
it’s a good thing there weren’t any serious consequences from that bit of journalistic malpractice, isn’t it?
tell me, where does America go to get its apology from the press?
better question: where does America go to hide from its own mad king? because he sure seems super fucking horny to mow us all down.
“At the request of Secretary of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem, I am directing Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth, to provide all necessary Troops to protect War ravaged Portland, and any of our ICE Facilities under siege from attack by Antifa, and other domestic terrorists. I am also authorizing Full Force, if necessary. Thank you for your attention to this matter!”
you know that Donny isn’t fucking around when he thanks us for his attention to this matter.
tell me, can one be considered Nobel Peace Prize material if you order the military use full force on your own people? maybe it’s just me, but I’m thinking no.
let’s put on our reality-colored glasses and translate Donny’s not-tweet. basically, at the request of the cosplaying lady who perforates puppies for fun, our demented mad king has ordered the butt-dialing Fox News dunk-tank clown to invade an American city, and granted him the use of lethal force.
it would be hilarious, if it weren’t so completely fucking scary.
so, is Portland really the ‘war-ravaged’ hellhole Donny claims it is? of course it isn’t. here are the first ten seconds of a minute-long video that Oregon Senator Ron Wyden shot yesterday and posted to social media.
that’s the Portland ICE facility that Donny claims is “under siege from attack by Antifa.” are you seeing any antifas running amok? I’m not. the place is a ghost town.
wait — are they ninjas? is antifa deploying a ninja army? are antifa ninjas in the room with us right now? how would we even know?
let’s get real. this is Los Angeles all over again, where spontaneous anti-ICE protests took place in a microscopic section of downtown Los Angeles. Donny completely overreacted and sent the National Guard to terrorize an entire city — and he did it in such a clownfuckingly disorganized way that troops who were rushed to the scene ended up sleeping on the floor of a warehouse.
because nothing says ‘we support our troops’ so much as dumping them in the middle of a city with no planning or forethought, and going you’re on your own, fuck-o’s
and then he did the same thing in DC, where there was so little actual crime that the Guard ended up raking leaves.
now it’s time for chapter three of this police state farce to play out, this time in Portland.
Heather Cox Richardson, please explain to the nice people just how much Donny is once again overreacting.
Zane Sparling, Fedor Zarkhin, and Zaeem Shaikh of The Oregonian/OregonLive compiled a timeline of protests against the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement building in Portland. They noted that the last arrest of protesters by Portland police was on June 19, bringing the total to 25, and the last arrest by federal officers was on July 4, bringing the total to 22.
that’s right: in a city of roughly six hundred thousand people, a tiny handful of protesters have been arrested — and none in the last two months. just as in Los Angeles, the protests were never that big to begin with, and had pretty much burned themselves out long before there was any “need” for federal intervention.
oh, and in Portland, we have a new, awesome twist: Donny’s own ICE goons are the ones instigating the confrontations.
A Portland Police Bureau assistant chief said in court recently that federal police were “instigating” some of the clashes between officers and protesters outside the U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement building in South Portland.
Other records reveal police were aware of — and concerned about — potential excessive use of force by federal police as early as mid-June.
so, here we are, with another city about to be invaded by our own military, so they can put down non-existent protests that have already burnt themselves out — and that were instigated in the first place by Donny’s own storm troopers.
wherever our founders are right now, they’re shitting their breeches — because who can forget this line from that obsolete old document, the Declaration of Independence?
“For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us.”
that was one of our founders’ grievances against England’s tyrannical King George: an armed military presence in their cities.
two and a half centuries ago, the colonists had to rebel against a mad king — and now, today, we have to endure this tyranny shit all over again.
just like LA and DC, Portland’s local government is basically ‘we don’t need you here, we don’t want you here, could you please just fucking leave us alone.’
Statement from Mayor Keith Wilson
“President Trump has directed ‘all necessary Troops’ to Portland, Oregon. The number of necessary troops is zero, in Portland and any other American city. Our nation has a long memory for acts of oppression, and the president will not find lawlessness or violence here unless he plans to perpetrate it. Imagine if the federal government sent hundreds of engineers, or teachers, or outreach workers to Portland, instead of a short, expensive, and fruitless show of force.”
yeah well, fuck you, Portland, because Donny’s never been big on consent.
isn’t it odd that all this police state fuckery is only happening in Democratic-controlled states?
a massive, armed military presence in a city where it’s neither needed nor wanted — what could possibly go wrong?
meanwhile, the ‘how dare you call us fascist’ crowd is out here fascisting at a hundred miles an hour. I swear, these people are so in love with themselves — and so drunk with power.
Pam Bondi: “under President Trump’s leadership, there is ZERO TOLERANCE for political violence and domestic terrorism. I am deploying federal agents to ICE facilities around the country. if you so much as touch one of our federal officers, you will go to prison.”
okay, so touch a federal officer and go to prison — but what about sandwiches?
a more accurate threat for Pam Bondi to issue would be ‘we will arrest you, and then a grand jury will refuse to indict you.’
remember when US Attorney Boxwine dressed up like an escapee from a dairy farm and vowed to make Sean Dunn — the homey who threw his sandwich at a federal agent — break rocks in Alcatraz for a million skillionty years?
“Assault a law enforcement officer, and you’ll be prosecuted.”
yeah, well, spoiler alert: the grand jury tasked with indicting Dunn laughed the whole thing out of court.
US Attorney Boxwine did her whole dog-and-pony show in front of the grand jury, laid out all her evidence of how evil mastermind Sean Dunn crime-spreed his way through the streets of DC — and in the end, the grand jury was all ‘it was a fucking sandwich, Jeanine. get real.’
we’ve seen grand juries refuse to indict — and juries fail to convict — protesters in Los Angeles and Washington DC. and now we’re going to see this shit play out all over again in Portland. they’re going to round up and arrest as many people as they can, and grand juries are going to be all ‘I’m sorry, the charge here is “he touched me”? get the fuck out of here.’
US attorneys hot to indict protesters for the flimsiest of reasons. what could possibly go wrong?
oh, and here’s another pro tip: if you’re going to indict someone, at least have the decency to have slightest fucking clue how it’s done.
Lindsey Halligan, the beauty pageant finalist who is now Donny’s rent-a-US-attorney, is out here teaching a master class in how to fuck up in front of a judge.
can you tell that Halligan has never prosecuted a case before?
long story short: Halligan, who was in charge of indicting James Comey, brought two conflicting sets of documents with her to court, as one does, when one has no fucking clue what they’re doing.
“So this has never happened before. I’ve been handed two documents that are in the Mr. Comey case that are inconsistent with one another,” Vaala said to Halligan. “There seems to be a discrepancy. They’re both signed by the (grand jury) foreperson.”
And she noted that one document did not clearly indicate what the grand jury had decided.
“The one that says it’s a failure to concur in an indictment, it doesn’t say with respect to one count,” Vaala said. “It looks like they failed to concur across all three counts, so I’m a little confused as to why I was handed two things with the same case number that are inconsistent.”
at this point, I will be shocked if Comey’s case even goes to trial — because the government has only just begin its case again him, and it’s already a five-alarm clown brigade.
flimsy evidence, and an inexperienced prosecutor who was no doubt hired because Clown Prince Donny thought she looked great on TV. what could possibly go wrong?
and then there’s this fucking embarrassment.
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has ordered hundreds of generals to Virginia next week to discuss grooming, standards and his “warrior ethos” vision — an unusual move that has sparked confusion among military leaders around the world.
first of all, thank you to Politico for properly identifying Plastered Pete as the “Defense Secretary,” and not buying into his infantile insistence that he’s America’s god-emperor of ‘war.’
and second of all, what in the actual fucking fuck? this Fox News dunk-tank clown, festooned with christofascist tattoos — he’s going to lecture a bunch of lifelong military experts about ‘warrior ethos’?
and what’s all this nonsense about grooming? is Pete going to show everyone his ten-thousand-dollar Pentagon makeup studio, and teach them all how to make sure your hair is perfect before going on Fox News? way to focus on what’s important, Secretary Kegstand.
oh, and he’s going to put them all in one room together — and he even announced it days ahead of time. what a national security nightmare. and — this just in from the Washington Post — Donny’s decided that he needs to be there, too.
our adversaries must be pissing themselves with laughter.
Donny, Bondi, Hegseth, Noem, Halligan. they all have incredible power at their fingertips — and each and every one of them is an incompetent trainwreck who has no clue what they’re doing.
it’s a police state, but with fuckwits.
what could possibly go wrong?
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
853 / 942
sorry to dump 1,950 words on you on a Sunday, but the firehose of batshit news just won't stop spraying
but the biggest story of the day is that my 357-day wordle streak has come to an end