a new low: Preznit Fuckwit’s stupid face on money
every goddamn day it’s some new nightmare
imagine you’re the malignant tinpot leader of a nation in decline, hell-bent on clownfucking your tacky me-me-me aesthetic onto all of its hallowed institutions.
you’ve already desecrated the White House. you’ve built your Oval Bordello. you’ve paved over the Rose Garden and replaced it with the Epstein Parking Lot. you’ve bulldozed the East Wing so you can have some gaudy Epstein Dance Hall.
you’ve destroyed the South Lawn in order to throw some low-rent cage-fight. you’ve painted the Reflecting Pool some garishly inappropriate shade of blue. and you’ve put your accursed name all over every building in town.
after all that, what do you do for an encore? you put your stupid, beady-eyed pig-face on money, of course. duh.
President Trump’s face could soon appear on a $250 bill as part of the Trump administration’s celebration of the 250th anniversary of the country.
dear sweet lord, it’s just one atrocity after another with these tiresome assholes.
this is so fucking wrong. it’s fundamentally un-American. putting Dear Leader’s face on currency is what monarchies and dictatorships do.
did you know some of our founders wanted to put George Washington’s face on money from the git-go? when George caught wind of it, he was all ‘are you kidding me? fuck that shit and fuck it hard. we just fought a whole revolution against that kingly bullshit, remember?’ — and so Washington’s face didn’t appear on the dollar until 1869.
fast-forward 250 years from the Revolution, and apparently we do have a king again — only this time, he’s really fucking dumb.
now, I already know what you’re going to say next. ‘but Uncle Jeff, aren’t there, like, actual laws prohibiting living people from appearing on legal tender?’
no fucking shit, there are laws against it — but do you really think Donny’s minders are going to let some stupid thing like a law get in the way of their glorious exercise in feeding the bottomless ego of a vainglorious piss-baby?
they’re hell-bent on doing this. they’ve already shitcanned Patricia Solimene, the now-former director of the printing department at the The Bureau of Engraving and Printing, who, when told of the plan to make vanity money for Dear Leader, basically said ‘what are you, fucking crazy? I’m not doing this.’
by the way, we need to raise a glass in appreciation of Ms. Solimene, because I totally fucking love what she wrote in her farewell email to her colleagues after getting fired.
“The buck stopped here,” she wrote.
anyway, yes — there are laws that should prevent Dear Leader from creating fucked-up ego money, but Donny and his minders believe they’ve found a work-around. they’re going to go running to Congress.
The law currently states no living president can appear on currency, but the administration is preparing for the possibility that Congress will pass legislation authorizing the special Trump bill.
and if you think Holy Mike Johnson, the limpest dick ever to wield the Speaker’s gavel, is going to refuse to do Dear Leader’s bidding, I’ve got six bankrupt casinos in Atlantic City to sell you.
so get ready for Donnybucks. it’s just one more slice of dumbfuckery being forced on a populace that didn’t ask for any of this.
it’s just one more atrocity to add to the shitpile of injustices. illegal wars. masked federal thugs roaming our cities. tax cuts for the obscenely wealthy. the violation of the White House. and now, fucked-up money.
but here’s the really stupid part. one of the reasons Patricia Solimene told Team Donny to go jump in the lake is that it takes about six years to produce new currency — and Dear Leader wants his Donnybucks done in time for his ‘America 250’ vanity party that’s five weeks from now.
it turns out that designing paper currency is a highly specialized task that takes a super long time to complete. there are all kinds of complex safety features that have to be woven into the artwork so that, you know, the finished product isn’t easily counterfeited.
but Donny doesn’t give a fuck about any of that shit. he wants this abomination cranked out in five weeks — and you know what that means:
the final product is going to fucking suck.
it’s going to be some rinky-dink amateurish piece of shit. it’s going to be monopoly money. it’s going to be an embarrassment on the level of what Donny’s doing to the Reflecting Pool right now.
imagine all that streaky blue shit, except it’s money.
everything Donny touches dies. including currency.
just look at the accursed proposed design. fucking hell, they’re using his mug shot. every goddamn day it’s some new nightmare.
no fucking thank you. I’m opting out of this bullshit. anyone tries to hand me one of these abominations, I’m going to tell them to get the fuck out of my face.
speaking of pieces of shit, let’s talk about Soybean Scott Bessent, Donny’s Secretary of Who Even Knows What This Dipshit’s Job Is.
he’s just so unctuous — as well as haughty, arrogant and condescending. and on top of all that, he doesn’t even give a shit about how obvious his sloppy lies are.
you know he’s lying. he knows he’s lying. he knows that you know that he knows he’s lying. but he lies anyway, because what the fuck are you going to do about it? he’s plutocrat Scott Bessent, and you’re some smelly peasant.
anyway, for some ungodly reason they let Soybean Scott host yesterday’s White House press briefing, and one of those MAGA-fied ‘reporters’ that now get to attend the pressers asked the question, ‘how close are you to figuring out who’s funding antifa?’
“we’ve made substantial process. I think in the weeks and months ahead, we’re gonna have a lot to report. we’re going to demand that nonprofits know their grant recipients.”
oh how wonderful. we’re only ‘weeks and months’ away from finding out who the non-existent funders are of an imaginary organization that exists only within the fever-swamp hallucinations of the MAGAverse. I can’t wait.
what a ginormous fucking waste of everyone’s time.
I don’t know about you, but I get my funding from a magical leprechaun who gives me enchanted beans, which I then take to the Park Slope Food Co-op in Brooklyn, where I can trade them in for AntifaBucks™.
it’s time for our hero of the day. it’s Angie “Pumps” Sullivan, from the ‘I’ve Had It’ podcast she co-hosts with Jennifer Welch.
sit back, settle in, and enjoy Angie’s contribution to the ‘Stephen Miller is an ugly fuck’ discourse.
Jennifer Welch: “you’re a liberal woman. do you have a mental disorder?”
Angie Sullivan: “yes, I do. it’s called ‘Katie Miller shut the fuck up you stupid ——,’ that’s my mental disorder. here’s the thing. I just want to point out what she didn’t address. Katie Miller did not get on the air and go on and on about how handsome Stephen Miller is. how he believes in people. how he wants every human to have rights. she didn’t do any of that. she goes on, on this ‘liberal dah-te-dah.’ Katie, you married the world’s most unfuckable man. you are having your fourth child with him. because the two of your spew hate as an aphrodisiac. so please, do not tell me about ‘liberal women,’ because here’s the deal. I would rather be a barren, never-having-had-sex liberal woman, than fuck Stephen Miller on all the sex drugs Amsterdam can provide. so enough, Katie Miller.”
fuck yeah. that is some Pulitzer-worthy cussing. thank you, Angie Sullivan.
Meryl Streep, get back in here and do us a solid.
hey, we made it through the week in one piece. let’s reward ourselves with some Daily Claudia.
this one’s from September 2022, and I have no idea where we were. I don’t recognize any of this interior.
and here’s Ms Spouse, just chilling, on August 19, 2004.
have a great Friday, everyone. don’t take any funny money from some fucked-up flim-flam man.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—
"Judge temporarily blocks DOJ’s $1.8 billion payout fund"
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2026/05/29/judge-temporarily-blocks-dojs-18-billion-payout-fund/
good, but you know they'll just go running to some MAGA judge who will unblock the block
Here’s the irony about the $250 bill (that will never be printed).
The picture of the man on the $250 bill is the one keeping 96% of the population so poor they will never see one.