a day in the life of Donald Trump’s increasingly demented brain

and this just in: no immunity for Trump

BREAKING NEWS: DONALD TRUMP DOES NOT HAVE IMMUNITY FROM HIS SHITTY CRIMES.

JUST IN: The DC Circuit Court of Appeals has now ruled that Donald Trump cannot claim the defense of presidential immunity to insulate himself from criminal prosecution.

thank you, DC Circuit Court. now the Man Who Convicts War Criminals In the Hague can get back to the business of throwing Trump’s insurrectionist ass in prison.

ok, now here’s the post I was almost finished writing when this news came down.

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Little Donny Fuckface went on Newsmax last night to praise the shit out of his amazing self, and at one point started to brag about his world-class handling of the economy during the pandemic.

he intended to yammer something about supply chains, but the rotting colostomy bag inside Trump’s head chose that unfortunate moment to spring a leak, and this is what came out instead:

“look at even things like supply change, things we never even heard about. he never heard that term. everything worked, under me.”

supply change. awesome. no one’s ever heard of it before because you just shit it out of your mouth right now.

but check out the second part of Trump’s boast:

“everything worked, under me.”

the fuck it did. there’s a mass psychosis gripping Trump and his cult party right now. they’ve swept all the chaos and incompetence of Donny’s handling of the pandemic right under the rug, and are now pretending that Trump’s entire presidency was four years of smooth sailing and 50-cents-a-gallon gas.

the fuck it was. here’s what MAGA has conveniently forgotten: that at the start of the pandemic, Trump spent six weeks golfing. he then downplayed the severity of the virus, claiming that “15 cases would go down to zero” and that covid would “disappear like a miracle.” he put his worthless shithole son-in-law in charge of resource allocation, and that benighted dolt made hospitals compete for ventilators — and then chose to exlude blue-state cities from the process, because they were full of Blacks, and who the fuck cares about those people.

you think I’m exaggerating? I am not fucking exaggerating.

White House senior advisor/son-in-law Jared Kushner, who led a task force to fight COVID-19 in the early days of the pandemic, abandoned efforts to create a nationwide testing scheme after it was decided that it would be politically advantageous to let Democratic-controlled states suffer outbreaks.

and then Trump went on TV and told people to inject bleach — all while victims of the pandemic were stacked in hastily-constructed mobile morgues and then dumped into mass graves, because the bodies were piling up too goddamned fast.

you want to talk about supply chains? for fuck’s sake, you couldn’t even buy toilet paper.

gas was cheap because people were locked down and terrified to leave their homes. there was no place to drive — except to forage for provisions, if you were lucky enough to find any.

don’t make me come over there and explain the law of supply and demand to you.

the country was a fucking hell-hole, and — sorry, Republicans — it was Joe Biden who rebuilt the economy.

in fact, the economy is roaring right now, and it’s completely broken Donny’s brain, because he doesn’t have shit to run on.

that’s why he’s taken to rooting for the economy to fail.

WASHINGTON − Former President Donald Trump seems to be rooting for a financial crash this year so that it can help him get reelected.

“When there’s a crash − I hope it’s gonna be during this next 12 months, because I don't want to be Herbert Hoover,” Trump told interviewer Lou Dobbs on the “Lindell TV” platform.

when Trump got roundly criticized for this bullshit, he changed tactics, and tried to take credit for the Biden boom.

THIS IS THE TRUMP STOCK MARKET BECAUSE MY POLLS AGAINST BIDEN ARE SO GOOD THAT INVESTORS ARE PROJECTING THAT I WILL WIN, AND THAT WILL DRIVE THE MARKET UP — EVERYTHING ELSE IS TERRIBLE (WATCH THE MIDDLE EAST!), AND RECORD SETTING INFLATION HAS ALREADY TAKEN ITS TOLL. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!

that one got laughed at, too, and so Trump is back to square one, shoving 14% unemployment and over a million covid deaths right down the memory hole.

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Donny Ratbrain had other stuff on his mind yesterday — like not dying in prison.

IF IMMUNITY IS NOT GRANTED TO A PRESIDENT, EVERY PRESIDENT THAT LEAVES OFFICE WILL BE IMMEDIATELY INDICTED BY THE OPPOSING PARTY. WITHOUT COMPLETE IMMUNITY, A PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO PROPERLY FUNCTION!

why are you shouting at us, Sundowning Grandpa Capslock?

pretty weird how forty-five people have held the office of the presidency of the United States, and only two of them have had to worry about being indicted — the two who commited crimes while they were in office. that’s some fucking coincidence, isn’t it?

as far as I can remember, the other forty three never had to whine about immunity.

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the strain of six concurrent criminal and civil trials is taking its toll.

REMEMBER, ALL OF THOSE TRIALS, AND ALL OF THAT LITIGATION YOU CONSTANTLY READ AND HEAR ABOUT, FEDERAL, STATE, & LOCAL - CRIMINAL & CIVIL - IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY CROOKED JOE BIDEN, AND HIS THUGS AT THE DOJ, IN ORDER TO INTERFERE WITH THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF 2024. THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED SO BLATANTLY IN THE USA BEFORE, ONLY IN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES. WATCH FOR IT, THE RADICAL LEFT DEMOCRATS NEW WAY OF CHEATING. THEY ARE DESTROYING OUR COUNTRY — BUT WE WILL WIN & MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!

Donny Diaperstain continues to freak the fuck out because for the first time in his soft, pampered life of crime, the wall are closing in on him and all the parking garage lawyers in the world can’t stop what’s coming.

too bad, so sad for you, Donnyboy. the DC Court of Appeals has spoken.