your reminder that none of this is normal

shit’s not supposed to be this fucked up

Sep 10, 2026

shit, it must be noted, is fucked up and stuff.

shit, in fact, has been fucked up and stuff for a good long while now — and the problem with shit being fucked up and stuff for this long is that eventually, you forget that shit isn’t supposed to be this fucked up.

shit being fucked up and stuff becomes normalized. so it’s important for us, every now and then, to step back, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves: none of the fucked up shit going on right now is normal.

it’s not normal for a president to ‘gift’ his weird stalker diaper nurse 45 grand in cash.

President Donald Trump gave $45,000 cash gifts to his executive assistant Natalie Harp and two of his other young, loyal White House employees, according to financial disclosures released by the administration.
On their disclosure forms, which were released publicly late last week, the three women described the payments as “Cash Gift for Holidays.” The gifts amount to about one-third of the $150,000 salaries they each earn from their White House positions, according to an annual report to Congress.

oh, and while we’re on the subject, it’s not normal to be this into your boss.

holy shit. all kidding aside, this woman has issues that clearly require some sort of professional help. the White House staff is terrified of Natty, and have fruitlessly tried to keep her far the fuck away from Dear Leader — but because he loves to get this level of adoration, Donny won’t get her the help she needs. he encourages this behavior. he feeds off of it. he rewards her for it, to the tune of 45 large.

now, I know what you’re going to ask me: ‘but Uncle Jeff, while it’s certainly nice for the Carrier of the Royal Diaper Bag to have tens of thousands of free dollars dumped in her lap, it sure seems unethical. aren’t there laws to prevent this kind of thing from happening?’

you’re darned fucking tooting there are.

now, if this were a private corporation — say, the Trump Organization — Donny could shower his employees with all the cash in the world, and no one could say boo. but when you’re in government, there are indeed laws against this kind of thing.

Richard Painter, the former chief White House ethics lawyer for President George W. Bush and a critic of Trump, said the payments appear to violate a federal statute that prohibits the supplementation of federal employees’ salaries from outside sources.

but silly you, for even asking such a dumb question. puny little things like laws don’t matter to God’s Own Avatar on Earth. when has a law ever stopped Dear Leader from doing whatever the fuck he wants? he’s got six corrupt bought-and-paid-for SCOTUS hacks who would be only too happy to declare he’s A Very Special Boy Who Can (and here they just leave a blank space for Donny to write in his latest crime).

hey, do you know what else is not normal — also against the law? bribing voters.

“only I can make this promise to you: if the Republicans win the House and Senate, I will issue a dividend to every adult citizen in the United States of America for $5,000.”

oh look — Dear Leader has already ditched the jet-black roadkill he duct taped to his empty pumpkin head a couple of days ago. so what the fuck was that all about?

but let’s talk about this promise of five grand, if you vote for the GOP.

of course, Donny’s just talking out of his ass. he’s not about to follow through on it. I guarantee that he’s already forgotten that he said this only last night. remember, we’re all still waiting for the $2,000 tariff rebate check he promised to send to everybody a year ago. that’s the cool thing about being Lord-Emperor of All The Planets and the Sky Above. you don’t ever have to follow through on shit. your brain-dead cultists will happily invent memories of the imaginary rebate check they received.

but I’m not even going to wait for you to ask — yes, this is a crime. it’s a violation of 18 U.S. Code Subsection 597 — Expenditures to influence voting.

spoiler alert: it turns out that it’s illegal to promise money in order to get someone’s vote. who knew?

and while we’re still on the subject of what’s illegal, it’s also not normal to have no one in the Department of Justice who understands how laws work.

Jeanine Pirro: “we just found out that there are people who are between the ages of one and four who are getting Social Security. like, we’ve got something like sixty-nine million dollars in taxpayer—”

Jessice Tarlov: “that’s the benefit for kids whose parents are dead.”

what kind of heartless ghoul tries to turn a social safety net for children without parents into some kind of fiendish crime?

it’s just more performative dumbfuckery from America’s tipsiest US Attorney — the same cartoonish cow cosplayer who couldn’t bring an indictment for Grand Theft Paint Chips, nor a conviction for Assault with a Deadly Sandwich.

but that’s the Donnyverse’s whole deal: pointing at some perfectly normal thing and shouting AHA! FRAUD!

if US Attorney Boxwine is so super-horny to root out the criminals who are defrauding our nation, she should start with the flimflam artist who just promised five grand to anyone who would vote for Republicans.

oh, and by the way — if you spend years worshiping this guy, following him around and carrying his diaper bag, Donny up that amount to 45 grand.

better start practicing your psychotic adoring stare.

here’s more abnormality: it’s not normal to throw an Emotional Support Convention for oneself.

right now, in Dallas, Dear Leader is presiding over a two-day ‘Republican Midterm Convention’ — and, as usual, they half-assed it. it only took about fifteen minutes for the ‘L’ to fall off the podium.

ace job, you stupid fucks.

now, you’ll be forgiven for having never heard of a political party throwing themselves a ‘midterm convention.’ the reason you’ve never heard of one is that they almost never happen. it’s a huge waste of time and resources, and accomplishes nothing. so, why are they having one right now? it’s because Donny is so broken-inside and in such constant need of affirmation that he’s forcing his own party expend two whole days on a useless dog-and-pony show, just to make him feel better about himself.

just think of it as just a larger version of one of Donny’s cabinet meetings, where every one of Dear Leader’s supplicants try to out-do each other in heaping effusive praise on our Needy-Diaper-Baby-in-Chief, while he sits there and basks in it.

oh look — they even invited one of Donny’s cabinet ministers to the Midterm Convention, to show everyone how it’s done. just listen to that smug, haughty bastard, Soybean Scott Bessent, making shit up.

“we’ve gone from a president who couldn’t stay awake to a president who refuses to sleep.”

what in the hallowed name of Counterfactual Gaslighting Jesus is this bullshit? we’re supposed to swallow this fever-swamp fairy tale about how Joe Biden narcolepted his way through his term in office, while Donny is some boundless well of energy?

fact check:

and, finally, here’s a thing that’s definitely not normal: sitting down to write a post without first planning in advance what kind of conclusion you’re going to wrap it all up with.

it’s important to figure that shit out before you start — because now I’m down at the bottom of the post, and I’ve written myself into a corner and don’t have a proper ending to it. if this were a Monty Python sketch, I could just end it with a big foot coming down and crushing everything.

oh boy, I think I got away with it. let’s just have ourselves a Daily Claudia and get out of here before anyone notices.

here’s Ms Spouse at the Yonkers waterfront, outside the long-defunct restaurant The Dolphin, on November 20, 2011.

here’s what happened next: Ms Spouse grabbed my camera and took this photo of me.

and here’s Katie and her mom, on August 19, 2003.

have a great Thursday, everyone.

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.