what the fuck is going on in the Strait of Hormuz?

are we at war again, or what? does anyone even know?

remember weekends?

remember relaxing?

remember how it used to be, back in saner times? remember going all the way from Friday evening to Monday morning without ever once having to worry that the shrieking noises inside some colicky piss-baby president’s fat head were going to tell him to lob a nuke at someone?

well, sorry, pal — we’re now trapped in a shitty timeline, and being stress-free ain’t the way way shitty timelines work.

you know, we almost just got through a weekend without any new worries — but then Preznit Fuckwit had to go and spoil it all on Sunday afternoon with a shiny, brand-spanking-new plan to fuck shit up in the Strait of Hormuz.

what in the hallowed name of Disordered Mind Jesus is this mess? apparently Donny’s gotten it into his head that even though the Strait of Hormuz is shut down, he’s going to send warships into it, to ‘free’ oil tankers that have trapped in there for weeks? how is that supposed to work? isn’t Iran, y’know, blockading that shit? and all this ‘humanitarian’ stuff is supposed to start happening Monday morning, which just so happens to be [checks phone] — oh fuck, right now.

tell me, doesn’t it seem like Donny is deliberately goading Iran into a hostile response? well, since I’m a Responsible Journalist And Everything™, maybe I’d better look and see how things are going.

oh dear.

Iran’s Fars news agency is reporting that a US warship intending to pass through the strait of Hormuz was turned back after ignoring a warning from Iran’s navy, citing “news sources in the south”.

The report, which we have not yet been able to independently verify, said that two missiles hit a US navy frigate sailing through the waterway in what Iran deemed a violation of “traffic and shipping security” near Jask island.

that’s from the Guardian, whose site I just checked right now while writing this post. god knows what the situation is going to be two hours from now.

did Donny imagine that he was going to sail warships into the closed-down Strait of Hormuz and Iran was just going to be all ‘okay, well if you want to, sure’?

Donny might ought to think twice, because that’s not how shit seems to be going down.

wait, did I just tell Donny to think twice? what am I saying, Donny never even thinks once. he just blunders from one dumb-ass move to the next, without a single thought about consequences. no wonder this illegal war is going so poorly. Dear Leader, Piss-Drunk Pete and Liddle Marco Big-Shoes act first and think never.

none of this makes one lick of sense. this is foreign policy by a random throw of darts at a board. consider that in the last two days we’ve gone from Donny saying ‘hostilities are over, I pinky-swear it’s true’ to ‘that blockade, it’s a friendly blockade’ —

— to US warships getting fired upon. or maybe not fired upon — because it’s now 30 minutes later, and US Centcom is all ‘nuh-uh, it never happened.’

and since we live in the shittiest possible timeline, we don’t know who to believe — because both sides in this don’t-you-dare-call-it-a-war totally fucking suck.

and those useless lumps in Congress have totally abdicated their Constitutionally-mandated responsibility to make sure shit like this doesn’t happen. instead of enforcing the War Powers Act like he’s supposed to, Holy Mike Johnson sent everyone in the House home for a two-week vacation.

there are no adults in the room.

it’s fucking insane, and it’s only Monday.

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we definitely need some comic relief right now, and here comes our clownfucktacular Acting Attorney General Todd Blanche to provide some.

“there’s a lot of things we can be doing, like voter ID. every time you walk into a restaurant or a club you have to show your ID. how about you have to show your ID to vote? that’s not anything that’s crazy.”

you know what’s crazy? that our nation’s top law enforcement official apparently has no idea how the real world works. that’s fucking insane.

to hear Todd Blanche tell it, you need an ID to ‘walk into a restaurant.’ oh sure, who among us hasn’t sauntered into a McDonald’s, ordered a Big Mac and been told to ‘pony up some identification, fuckface.’

Blanche is either deliberately lying, or he’s completely out of touch — or he only eats at strip joints, because that’s pretty much the only ‘restaurant or club’ where ID is required.

is that it, Todd? have you been chowing down on shitty steam-table ravioli while tossing twenties at some pole dancer?

now let’s watch the Toddster drag the DOJ’s case against James Comey out back to the gravel pit and shoot it straight in the face.

Kristen Welker: “it’s worth noting that on Amazon dot com — we looked this up — there are dozens of products with the same terminology. we’re showing it right here. ‘86-47’ being sold and purchased right now. should individuals selling or buying ‘86-47’ merchandise be concerned they are going to prosecuted by the DOJ?”

Todd Blanche: “of course not.”

okay, for those of you keeping score at home: showing an ‘86-47’ image is bad when James Comey does it, but okay when anyone else does it.

now look, obviously I’m not a lawyer — but I am a loudmouth on the internet, which make me uniquely qualified to opine that Blanche just admitted on live TV that the DOJ’s case against Comey is selective and malicious.

I mean, if you were a member of Comey’s legal team, wouldn’t you have a field day with that clip?

you know, Todd Blanche used to be one of the good guys. right out of law school, this dude went to work for the Southern District of New York, eventually rising to become co-chief of the office’s violent crimes unit. for a time, he actually worked alongside Alvin Bragg.

but then in 2023 he chucked it all to become Donny’s personal lawyer. why would anyone do that? he’s now a clownshoes laughingstock Acting Attorney General. he’s become a buffoon, and his reputation is in tatters.

Todd Blanche is just the latest in a long line of lawyers who signed on to work for Donny and ended up fucking their own careers straight into the shitter — and unlike the Parking Garage Lawyer, he didn’t even get a new pair of kidneys out of the deal.

oh, and speaking of Donny’s personal lawyers who have fucked their own careers, we need to circle back to the Mad King, because apparently he’s mad at you and me for ruining Rudy Giuliani’s health.

“he was treated so badly by the Radical Left Lunatics, Democrats ALL — AND HE WAS RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING! They cheated on the Elections, fabricated hundreds of stories, did anything possible to destroy our Nation, and now, look at Rudy.”

that’s a lovely bit of logic, right there. how is this our fault? we didn’t do this to Rudy, he did this to himself. he was a train wreck who lived the unhealthiest lifestyle possible. lest anyone forget —

as to Rudy’s current condition, there are no details at this time, except for a brief statement that he remains in ‘critical but stable condition’ at Four Seasons Total Hospitaling.

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here’s your Daily Claudia.

I’m not sure exactly when this photo was taken, but I’m thinking it would have been shortly after we moved from our apartment in Manhattan to our house in Westchester County, which would make it from September 1991. our daughter Katie would have been around six weeks old.

(I’m glad you folks are enjoying these photos, but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to do this on a daily basis, or for very long — because doing so involves a lot of mournscrolling, and that’s not something I’m going to feel up to every day.)

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.