Washington Post endorses fascism

the useless press has already capitulated to Elderly Dictator

Alexa, show me a newspaper with integrity taking a firm stand against a fascist threat.

Donald Trump is uniquely unqualified as a presidential candidate. He has shown himself to be bigoted, ignorant, deceitful, narcissistic, vengeful, petty, misogynistic, fiscally reckless, intellectually lazy, contemptuous of democracy and enamored of America’s enemies. As president, he would pose a grave danger to the nation and the world.

that was the Washington Post, on October 13, 2016, from their endorsement of Hillary Clinton for president.

now let’s fast-forward to 2024. here’s the Post’s full-throated denouncement of Donny Convict’s current attempt to become dictator for life.

wait, what the fuck? there’s nothing there.

that’s right, there’s nothing there — because this year, the Washington Post has chosen not to denounce Donny. nor are they endorsing Kamala Harris.

why, what happened? is Donny somehow no longer “fiscally reckless, intellectually lazy, contemptuous of democracy” and all those other things? did he stop being “a grave danger to the nation and the world”?

no, Donny’s still all that horrible shit — and now you can add rapidly-advancing dementia and a lust for revenge to the mix.

so if Donny didn’t change, what did?

this guy.

Jeff Bezos, the gazillionaire who laughs like some fucked-up comic book villain. he changed.

Bezos is not a newspaper guy — he’s a businessman. to him, the Washington Post is just a line-item on a spreadsheet. more importantly, Bezos is also a government contractor. he’s the founder of Blue Origin, the aerospace company behind those dick-shaped rockets.

by the way, how did that conversation go?

“sir, the engineers have sent over the plans for your new rocket.”
“it … looks like a giant cock.”’
“sir, is that a problem?”
“no, I fucking love it.”

hey, you know who else makes dick-shaped rockets? this dude.

that’s right, Dickley McBezos and the Space Nazi are competitors.

now, Dickley’s no dummy. he saw the Space Nazi skippin’ like a dipshit and cozying up to Donny, and a (probably dick-shaped) light bulb went off over his head.

oh shit, this is going to affect my bottom line.

so he phones up the Washington Post and tells them that’s it, there will be no endorsement of Kamala Harris — and sure enough, twenty minutes after the announcement was made, this happened.

Former President Trump met with leaders from the Jeff Bezos-owned aerospace company Blue Origin following his speech in Austin, Texas. 

The Republican had a short meeting with the aerospace company CEO David Limp and vice president of government relations Megan Mitchell, according to The Associated Press (AP). 

is that a rat you’re smelling right now? well, you’re in good company. here’s former Post editor-at-large Robert Kagan, who quit his job after the news broke that the WaPo wouldn’t be endorsing Kamala.

“Trump waited to make sure that Bezos did what he said he was going to do, and then met with the Blue Origin people,” he reportedly said.

“Which tells us that there was an actual deal made, meaning that Bezos communicated, or through his people, communicated directly with Trump, and they set up this quid pro quo.”

why is Jeff doing this? does he want Donny to win? not necessarily. but he’s definitely afraid of what will happen if Donny wins. Bezos knows that Donny will blow a fucking gasket and seek retribution if the Post backs his opponent.

Bezos’s non-endorsement of Kamala Harris is actually a ringing endorsement of fascism. capitulating in advance to a bully because you’re afraid of something that might happen is literally how fascism works.

Donny isn’t the president right now. there’s an excellent chance that Donny will never again be president — but Bezos is kowtowing to Donny as if he were already in power. that’s literally how fascism wins.

hey Jeff, you think bending to Donny’s will this one time is going to be the end of it? do you imagine that you and Donny are buds now?

sorry to be the one to tell you this, but no fucking way, bro. there is no placating someone who is a bottomless well of need and greed. has giving your lunch money to the playground bully ever been the end of it? of course not. you’ve proven yourself an easy mark, and he’s definitely coming back for more.

here’s a super-fun story about what happens when your country becomes a kleptocracy.

in the summer of 2000, good old Vlad Putin summoned 21 of Russia’s richest oligarchs to the Kremlin. here’s what he told them:

Putin offered the oligarchs a deal: bend to my authority, stay out of my way, and you can keep your mansions, superyachts, private jets, and multibillion-dollar corporations (corporations that, just a few years before, had been owned by the Russian government). In the coming years, the oligarchs who reneged on this deal and undermined Putin would be thrown into a Siberian prison or be forced into exile or die in suspicious circumstances. The loyalists who remained — and the new ones who got filthy rich during Putin's long reign — became like ATM machines for the president and his allies.

one of the attendees, oil baron Mikhail Khodorkovsky, thought Vlad was just blowing smoke. he continued to criticize Putin, and even mused aloud about running against him for president. you’ll never guess what happened next.

In 2003, masked agents stormed Khodorkovsky's private jet during a refueling stop and arrested him at gunpoint. Authorities charged him with fraud and tax evasion. They imprisoned him in Siberia, where he would languish for the next decade. The government took over his oil empire and handed the keys to one of Putin’s longtime associates, Igor Sechin.

hey, Bezos, how you would you feel about the Space Nazi taking over all your dick-rockets? oh, you wouldn’t like that very much? well then keep your fucking mouth shut and toe the line.

say what you want about New York Times’ nepo-publisher Arthur Gregg Sulzberger — and believe me, I’ve had nothing good to say about him — at least he’s a newspaper guy. he doesn’t have any penis-spaceship companies to worry about.

the Times is proudly endorsing Kamala.

It is hard to imagine a candidate more unworthy to serve as president of the United States than Donald Trump. He has proved himself morally unfit for an office that asks its occupant to put the good of the nation above self-interest. He has proved himself temperamentally unfit for a role that requires the very qualities — wisdom, honesty, empathy, courage, restraint, humility, discipline — that he most lacks.

in fact — holy shit — look at the front page of the Times’ opinion section this morning.

meanwhile, the Washington Post’s editors and writers — at least the ones who haven’t already quit — are in open revolt right now.

in fact, let’s give the final word (image?) to Ann Telnaes, the WaPo’s political cartoonist, because she has it exactly fucking right.

nine days to go. let’s make sure that America doesn’t turn into a fascist bully’s kleptocracy.

if we vote, we win.