wait — did Preznit Shitwit tell Iran it was okay to bomb us?

“they were very nice. they said, is one o’clock okay?”

that’s a pretty damning accusation, and I promise you: we’re going to get there. but first, let’s back it up a bit.

Mad King Donny has spent the last few days teaching a master class in why you don’t hand supreme executive power to an unstable fuckwaffle who farts out his own fairy-tale version of reality.

hey Donny — tell us what you think of that Pentagon report that says you only set Iran’s nuke program back a few months.

“the intelligence was very inconclusive. the intelligence says we don’t know. it could have been very severe. that’s what the intelligence says. so I guess that’s correct. but I think we can take that we don’t know. it was very severe. it was obliteration.”

oh, awesome. the family of raccoons chewing through the wires in Donny’s head stopped gnawing long enough for Donny to meet reality halfway and mutter something about the intel being ‘inconclusive’ — but not ten seconds later he’s convinced himself that ‘inconclusive’ and ‘obliteration’ are the same thing.

incoherent much, bro? Donny then goes on to whine that the media isn’t throwing flowers and hailing him as a great liberator.

“and you’d think that a leading media outlet would say ‘isn’t that a great thing?’”

this fucking guy. no American president has ever had a more compliant press, willing to sanewash all the crazypants shit that seeps out of the Mad King’s rancid anus-mouth — but that’s not enough for him. the press has to also bend reality, so his precious fee-fees don’t get hurt.

“more important is that for the pilots for the military, you take their guts out. you take their absolute guts out. they had a tremendous attack. it was a complete obliteration.”

okay, we’re back to ‘complete obliteration.’

“and the other— team,. the other, the other group, Iran, said ‘let’s stop this.’ and you know what? Israel said it too. very smart.”

I’m sorry, what? Iran is the other TEAM? is this all just a game to Donny? apparently it is, because check out this fuckblizzard of holy shit.

“14 missiles were shot at us the other day. and, uh, they were very nice. they gave us a warning. they said ‘we’re gonna shoot ‘em, is one o’clock okay?’ they said it’s fine. and everybody was emptied off the base. so they couldn’t get hurt, except for the gunners. they call ’em the gunners.”

wait, what did Donny just admit to having done? he told Iran, yeah, go ahead, let your missiles fly, sure, one o’clock, whatever?

we all heard him say it, right? that Iran asked if a specific time was okay, when that info made its way up the pipeline to Donny, he didn’t go fucking ballistic? he said ‘oh how very nice, let me check my schedule’?

check out Marco Rubio’s reaction. he’s trying to homersimpson himself the fuck out of there.

if you slow the video down, you can pinpoint the exact moment where Marco’s soul dies.

look, I’m not so naive as to think that this kind of quid-pro-fuckery has never happened before — but ‘we gave the enemy permission to bomb us’ is not the kind of thing you blurt into a live microphone. it’s what scholars are supposed to uncover twenty-five years from now, after all the files have been declassified and everyone involved is dead.

this loose-lipped blabbermouth has no idea when to shut the fuck up. he’s such an embarrassment.

imagine that Joe Biden, or Barack Obama — or any Democrat — had gotten up in front of NATO and blithered ‘yeah, they were so nice. they said is one o’clock okay and I said sure, let ’em rip.’ Republicans would have drawn up Articles of Impeachment within the hour.

Republicans, however, are not drawing up Peachy Articles right now. what they’re doing is toeing the line, and insisting that all those big hunkin’ bunker busters busted the fuck out of every bunker in sight — complete obliteration! — because Dear Leader says so, and Dear Leader is never wrong.

listen to Karoline Lie-vitt, she’s practically hyperventilating.

“the American public are smarter than this, and they should know the truth. President Trump completely and totally obliterated the capability of Iran to produce a nuclear weapon.”

the sewer clowns have to fall in line, too. Donny forced the CIA to put out a statement in which they assert that the Mad King knows more about complete obliteration than all the complete obliterators.

again, I’m not so naive as to imagine that the CIA has never lied to the American people — for fuck’s sake, it’s pretty much all they do, all the time — but it’s just pathetic to see them being forced to lie so clumsily.

all this in service of an overgrown toddler who can’t ever admit to have gotten something wrong.

look, wars are messy and unpredictable things. you draw up your plans, and give it your best shot. and when shit goes sideways, you suck it up, and figure out what the fuck to do next. you plan B that sucker.

but not Donny. the Mad King put all his eggs in one big bunker busting basket, figuring he could one-and-done his way to that Nobel Peace Prize. he was going to bunkerbust Iran back to the stone age, and then sit back and enjoy the adulation.

and now that it looks like shit didn’t go his way, it’s broken his brain. he never had a plan B — plan Bs are for losers — so he’s going stick his fingers in his ears and go LA LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU, I’M TOO BUSY WINNING.

he’s going to pretend that he’s the Complete Obliterator, and the entire Republican apparatus is going to pretend along with him.

as always, it’s all so embarrassing.

meanwhile, here’s an actual thing on Donny’s schedule for today.

he’s such a fucking child.

---

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

---

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

759 / 848