top NY Times editor: ‘covering the next Trump presidency is going to be awesome’

Donny’s gonna fuck shit up and Joe Kahn can't wait for it to happen

the media’s fuckery is coming at us so fast and furious that it’s hard to keep up.

Joe Kahn, the newsroom editor of The New York Times, stunned the shit out of all of us the other day when he boldly claimed that democracy could go fuck itself sideways, it wasn’t the Times’ job to defend it.

well, he’s baaaaack. in a long interview published yesterday in the New Yorker, Joe fielded the following question:

If Trump wins a second term, can you outline how the Times plans to cover that? How are you thinking about this potential norm-breaking period?

Fasten your seat belts. If Trump wins again, the New York Times will be committed to covering every aspect of that story as it unfolds. It would be, as our reporting shows, a disruptive Presidency if he wins. We will have a full-time job covering the implications of that. And we’ll need a team of people who are geared up, as in the first term, but even more so, for a very disruptive presence in the White House. And what we’ll do is we’ll show up and we’ll do our jobs.

“fasten your seat belts.” holy shit, Joe Kahn is positively giddy. he’s salivating at the prospect of covering the reign of King Fuckface the First. he can’t wait for it. but check out the word he uses to describe the next Trump presidency:

“disruptive.”

know who else throws around the word “disruptive”? tech bros — they think being “disruptive” is a good thing. and it is, for them.

every time they invent some new way of making life shittier for the rest of us, they call it “disruptive.” oh, did our ridesharing app make it damn near impossible for a traditional cab driver to earn a living? tough luck, chum, we’re just being disruptive.

Joe Kahn is fucking pumped for Donny Convict to come in and start “disrupting” shit. except Donny isn’t going to disrupt — he’s going to destroy.

so long, Social Security. adios, healthcare. fuckity-bye, democracy.

shouldn’t Joe Kahn be worried about any of this? nah, not his job, bro. he reports, you decide. oh wait, where have I heard that before?

so Joe’s going to cover an authoritarian dictatorship fueled by spite and revenge as if it were a spectator sport — and to a privileged dude like Kahn, it will be. after all, what’s he got to lose?

oh wait, maybe his freedom?

did you know that Donny already has a “Secretary of Retribution”?

self-styled “deep state marauder” Ivan Raiklin will be in charge of doling out revenge on Donny’s enemies. he’s drawn up a list of “deep state operatives” that he believes needs to be dealt with pronto — and here’s his unhinged plan, as explained in a video he posted to not-twitter.

“Expect to see live-streamed swatting raids of every single individual on that Deep State target list, because the precedence has already been set.”

oh cool.

so, who’s on the list?

numerous Democratic and Republican elected officials; FBI and intelligence officials; members of the House Select January 6 Committee; U.S. Capitol Police officers and civilian employees; witnesses in Trump’s two impeachment trials and the Jan. 6 committee hearings; and journalists from publications ranging from CNN and the Washington Post to Reuters and Raw Story — all considered political enemies of Trump.

scary shit. and look — Ivan mentions CNN by name. gee, do you think anyone at the network is worried?

of course they’re fucking not. check out the arrogant obliviousness of David Zazlav, the CEO of the company that owns CNN. he recently said the following at one of those secret retreats that gazillionaires are so fond of.

“Asked about the 2024 presidential election, Zaslav said it mattered less to him which party wins, as long as the next president was friendly to business.”

“We just need an opportunity for deregulation, so companies can consolidate and do what we need to to be even better,” he said.

this is the kind of shit that oligarchs say to each other when they think none of us little people are listening.

Zazlav doesn’t give a fuck who wins in November, as long as it’s the Day One Dictator — because Donny’s the one who’s going to shitcan every regulation under the sun.

hey, you know what other dictator was supported by industrialists because he promised to do them favors? of course you do.

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meanwhile, the worthless scribblers of the DC press have a new, fun game they’re playing. it’s called Misquote the Democrat. here’s how it works.

yesterday, Democratic Senator Richard Blumenthal was asked if he still supported Joe Biden. here was his answer.

“I am deeply concerned about Joe Biden winning this November because it is an existential threat to the country if Donald Trump wins. So I think that we have to reach a conclusion as soon as possible and Joe Biden as the Democratic nominee has my full support.”

pretty clear statement, right? Biden’s got Blumenthal’s “full support” because Donny Convict is an “existential threat.”

now check out how MSNBC reported it:

“MOMENTS AGO: Dem Sen. Blumenthal: ‘I am deeply concerned’ about President Biden.”

what the fuck?

in the last few days we have…
— the New York Times misquoting Nancy Pelosi.
— Axios outright lying about what Chuck Schumer said.
— the Washington Post attributing to Ted Lieu a statement that was made by someone else.
— and now, MSNBC dicking around with what Richard Blumenthal said.

…all to make seem as if Joe Biden has way less support in Congress than he actually does.

the press is supposed to report the news, not create it. goddammit, media, wake up and do your jobs — democracy is at stake. you do care about democracy, don’t you?

oh wait, I forgot who I was talking to. silly me.

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here’s a totally fun thing that shouldn’t be worrying to anyone at all.

“Trump and Viktor Orban will meet at Mar-a-Lago less than a week after the Hungarian prime minister met with Putin in Moscow — which is likely to fan concerns Orban is working as an intermediary between Putin and Trump.”

no biggie, right? it’s just Errand Boy Viktor Orban ferrying messages back and forth between the dictator of Russia and and the convicted felon running for president here in the good old US of A.

nothing to see here at all, so let’s all just focus on what’s really important.

hey, is Joe Biden still old?

folks, a word on a different subject before I let you go: we’re doing some quarterly fundraising at my other venture, The Smirking Chimp. I’m leery of even mentioning it because if you’re one of the people paying to support my own writing here, you’re already doing god’s work and you’re already doing more than enough to help out. but if you’ve got five dollars that you absolutely wouldn’t miss and you do feel like supporting the Chimp, well, that just makes you twice the hero. the donation link is here, or you can go straight to paypal if you need no further convincing. and if you don’t care to donate, that’s totally cool, too, and we will not speak of this again. in fact, we never had this conversation. thanks for listening and that’s it from me for now.