253 Comments
User's avatar
Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

With apologies to Dr. Seuss:

I do not like this Donald Trump

I do not like him, he's a chump

I do not like his stupid face

I do not like his lack of grace

I do not like his fake-ass hair

I do not like him anywhere.

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

There once was a psycho from Queens

Who liked to rape girls in their teens.

One day he’ll drop dead

From a blow to the head

And that’s how you handle these fiends.

Claudia Montague Wheatley's avatar

A Florida Man named Don

Was naught but a third-rate con

But MAGA was ripe

For his bellicose hype

Now America's good days are gone

Timothy Reid's avatar

Another off-the-cuff limerick ... love it! Excellent post, Claudia. Now I have to look up 'bellicose' so I can use it in a sentence. Damn! I love learning new words to impress myself! Thank you for the 'craugh' ... mix of 'cry' and 'laugh' ... the message is sad but the rhyming is perfect. 😁👍☃️

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

They are ALL so good, but I truly appreciate your use of bellicose here. I've been working on one but methinks you topped my poor efforts. :)

Cheri Collins's avatar

🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼Sooner rather than later!

Timothy Reid's avatar

Terrific limerick MzNicky. Another type of 'poem' that works on many occasions ... and yours says it all in spades! Thank you! 🤔😹😉

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

Thanks, Timothy! Limericks are so easy to do.

Linda Weide's avatar

I do not like him on a screen, I do not like him in my dream, I do not like him in the White House, I do not like him, he's a louse!

Timothy Reid's avatar

Love this Linda! Thank you! Millions of books published over the years and some of the most creative writing comes from the everyday people whose talent shines ad hoc. 🤔😉🐧

Timothy Reid's avatar

Great poem, Frosty. Thank you ... Dr. Seuss is not appreciated by everyone, especially since somebody saw a single person of Chinese origin infiltrating the story "And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street." But his rhyme and stanza rhythm is classic ... and you captured it perfectly, not to mention the intended message. Perfect! 😂👍🥳

Frosty McGillicuddy's avatar

Thank you so so much! Was someone throwing a fit about an Asian person being in that story?

Timothy Reid's avatar

Sadly yes ... in March 2021 it was decided that six Dr. Seuss would no longer be published due to “These books portray people in ways that are hurtful and wrong." 🤔🤨🤷

Here is one of the published stories about the, uhhh, decision:

https://apnews.com/article/dr-seuss-books-racist-images-d8ed18335c03319d72f443594c174513

Y'know, I am all for respecting other cultures, but cancelling people for historic lack of understanding of cultural tropes went ridiculously overboard, especially against those in our world with high community profiles and recognition (actors, authors, musicians, etc). It doesn't make sense, at least not to me. 😳🤯

Dave Drell's avatar

Good one Frosty! Seuss it big time!

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

The 'Excellent' was for Frosty's Dr. Seuss-adjacent offering.

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

Chris Cillizza probably scotch-taped that stupid note to his Tesla his own self. What a maroon.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I LOVE the 'maroon' comment. Definitely a New York connection there. :)

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

I just remember Bugs Bunny saying it a lot.

T L Mills's avatar

Yup...that's what I remember, too!

Ellyn's avatar

Probably the only way he could find 1000 words of self-manufactured outrage…he didn’t even use good packing tape FFS. Maroon, indeed!!!

Karen Livolsi's avatar

That’s a for sure!

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

Mark my words. If the radical leftist socialists ever take over they're going to force us all to have unisex bathrooms in our homes!

DrBDH's avatar

You’ve been reading the Radical Leftist Scum Antifa Handbook again.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

The Executive Director of Antifa gave it to me at their headquarters.

Lise Buranen's avatar

(You're not supposed to mention it in public, man, especially not in writing!)

Grace Kennedy's avatar

You might get mertilized for that:)

patti sepich's avatar

Looking back. 6 kids, 2 adults in one house. One bathroom. Guess we were all doomed

Bonnie Council's avatar

Same. Worse when the grandkids visit.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

In Glasgow (as a small kid) we had ours DOWN a flight of stairs, SHARED by neighbours! NO light AND it had just a very simple latch anyone could pull open, so IF you had to go late at night in the dark, terrified, you crept down that flight, knocked tentatively on the door and then made sure to wipe the seat with your own toilet paper (just in case the men were careless). Ugh. NO sink - you crept back up the stairs to wash your hands in your own sink (no hot water either). Mother wouldn't allow the waste of a whole shilling to heat up water. There was a very long pull chain to flush and NO LIGHT even in the hallway. Mace is a clueless moron as to how LUCKY she has it.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

THIS is fucking hilarious - and exactly how much I laughed AND what I thought - the first time I heard about dumb-as-dirt Mace and her obsession with 'gender-identity' bathrooms: 'WTF is in YOUR house'? I bet she STILL wouldn't get it even if it was 'splained to her in minute detail.

Baden Ewart's avatar

Thank you, thank you, thank you 🙏 best giggle I’ve had in a wee while. I know, I’m a sad case! Still giggling. 🤭

Robert Eckert's avatar

in a wee-wee while?

Teresa G's avatar

Just the antifa houses. 😂

Susan Kemp's avatar

The radical-leftist-socialist Muslim who was just elected in NYC is going to make children study Arabic numerals!

SeekingReason's avatar

I don’t even know what this is…❤️! But there are contrails above my condo leading to O’Hare! I think I’m under attack! 😵‍💫🙄

Another special depiction is how Americans see themselves and how the rest of the world sees us. I’d modify that to how MAGAs see Americans. I see us as the bottom picture of the two at all times. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Jeff, it’s difficult to read a year long review…one month would have been overload!

arne link's avatar

That's strange. I didn't know that Americans saw themselves as roided up trannies. Who knew?

Keith's avatar

of course we are ALL TRANNIES!

i still have long hair ... that makes me a tranny?

i still have a beard ... OK I'M THE BEARDED LADY!

fukin retards (all apologies to those with mental retardation)

arne link's avatar

Oh, Lord. No offense meant. I guess I just think that it's a stupid meme. Why can't we have normal photos? Why is everything "extra". Nothing wrong with being trans. Those people suffer. Let's just leave everyone alone. Except Trump.

Keith's avatar

no offense taken amigo. seems everything is either taken for granted, taken out of context, taken as an insult or just taken from a simple idea and turned into something sensational! it would be grand if we could return to the journalistic talents of Cronkite Huntley Brinkley & mr ed!

as for trump? HA! is he a beavis or just another butthead?

Ben Zamir's avatar

Thank you for clarifying, Arne. I figured you meant no offense, but good to see the clarification. Not living in fear is a 2026 goal of mine. My wife and I can't imagine ourselves moving out of the U.S., unless I can't survive here as a trans person. Some of my trans friends have already moved far away to be safe (they had the means to do so).

Cheryl Steiger's avatar

Mine, too. And a married gay couple, too. Sigh. I’ll never understand the hate.

Rocky's avatar

Duffy wants people to exercise at the airport. That's why Delta gives you 6 minutes to make a connecting flight 2 terminals away.

arne link's avatar

You get in both arms and leg work if you are dragging a suitcase. Don't get me started on what goes in the overhead bins. Lordy!

Hollie Rood's avatar

Overhead bins🤦‍♀️🤬 Now there’s another trigger

Bob Bowden's avatar

“We’ll now begin the pre-boarding process.” You mean you’re going to let some people get on the plane before you let everybody else get on the plane? Well *I* prefer to get IN the plane, where it’s a lot less windy. Hey airline, please begin pre-masturbating before you fuck yourself!

(Credit: George Carlin)

“This is the Captain from the Flight Deck…”

What? You don’t sound like William Shatner and this doesn’t look like the USS Enterprise. You’re just the pilot in the cockpit

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I SO LOVED Carlin! Could you imagine him living through demento's years? He'd have made MINCEMEAT out of the fuckwit Preznit, and we'd all have laughed and laughed and laughed.

arne link's avatar

Oh, how much he would have brought to the party. George Carlin was a national treasure.

Maria Devereux's avatar

Maybe you could have voted him in instead of reality- tv star Trump, or even previously B Hollywood star Reagan. After all Volodymyr Zelenski was a comedian.

Hollie Rood's avatar

OMG😂😂😂😂😂

I miss George Carlin. Thanks Bob!

Ole Anderson's avatar

Lots of duty free booze on most International flights.

Little overhead Molotov cocktails ready should there be a crash or fire on board.

Cheri Collins's avatar

😂🤣😂 So true! Years ago, I had to football carry the baby under one arm, and the stroller under the other while sprinting to the connecting gate. We got there in time to watch the plane take off. Continental.

Kim Steeves's avatar

I'm sooo sorry, I have tears in my eyes and am chuckling away at that image. Too funny, thank you!

Janet Ridgley's avatar

Oh God, it makes one to just throw everything on the ground ( not baby)

And have ONE BIg OLD temper tantrum!!

Screaming & everything!!

Dave Drell's avatar

Continental Airlines: DOA

Dave Drell's avatar

Rocky speaks the truth!

HI2thDoc's avatar

Never has evil been so stupid, nor stupidity so evil

Dr J's Sanity Space's avatar

Jeff: I owe the uplift in my mood this morning to you, hundred percent.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I scarcely sleep at night - so after taking specific meds at 8a.m. I grab about 3-4 hours of sleep unless the dogs get too loud. My Smooth Jazz music is on and I can drift off for a bit while hubby is up and doing whatever, At the back of my mind is the knowledge that there's a 'Jeff' post waiting for me to wait up to. 'That's gold, man'. :)

Ben Zamir's avatar

I don't sleep well either, never have. I look forward to Jeff's post each morning also.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

Thank you - Glad I'm not alone! Appreciate that there are others who appreciate Jeff as much as I do. :)

Ole Anderson's avatar

‘Sporkfoot freak of nature ‘ alone was worth the price of admission.

Neal Stiffelman's avatar

“This aggression will not stand, man!” To which I must add, “Nobody fucks with the Jesus”.

So many, many stupids. My jaw aches from dropping.

arne link's avatar

I always enjoy clips from the Dude. It's a sort of palate cleanser.

Paula Dean's avatar

My absolute favorite movie of all time! "He treats objects like women, man!"

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

“New shit has come to light, man!”

Mike Hammer's avatar

You’re out of your element, Donnie.

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

“Shut the fuck up, Donnie.”

Mike Hammer's avatar

This aggression will not stand!

arne link's avatar

That is a big favorite of mine.

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Jesus was the perfect arrogant antagonist (in the movie) I am a member.

Paula Dean's avatar

Are you a member of The Little Lebowski Urban Achievers? Or a bowling team? 🎳

I'm an artist like Maude Lebowski, though my work has not been "commended as highly vaginal". 😆

Janet Ridgley's avatar

I love the Dude, so wise.

Mike Hammer's avatar

You’re out of your element Donnie!

Zee Zee Writer's avatar

Fucking hysterical. I think I cracked a rib. How we, as a species, haven’t managed to go extinct yet is beyond me. But hey—give us three more years.

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

I think you’re overly optimistic.

Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

Another masterpiece, Jeff! It’s always priceless when we are treated to the “throw our heads back and laugh” meme.

Elizabeth Schulz's avatar

I LOVE that one too. Always makes me smile first, THEN laugh.

Pam Humphrey's avatar

Yeah. I tried that while I was enjoying that clip. Pulled something in my neck and now I can’t look over my shoulder. It made the dog laugh, though.

Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

Ouch! So sorry. Feel better soon.

David M Marko's avatar

To again paraphrase the late, great George Carlin. 'When you see your average stupid person, just realize that 50 percent are more stupid than that.' The clownfuckery from these mental midgets is breathtaking.

FTrump And FPutin Too's avatar

My mantra on any given day, can’t fight all the schtupid…

Morgan's avatar

Bravo 🙌🏽

Ole Anderson's avatar

And downright depressing

MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

“one of the reasons we know that abortion is demonic and satanic is that so many of the feminists … some of abortion’s most energetic and loud cheerleaders are ugly — and fat.”

Oh Jeff, did no one ever tell you that a woman is only worth paying attention to if she meets the standard of sexual attractiveness that’s apparently been determined by teenaged boys? That an ugly, fat woman existing is an affront to men everywhere? That feminists — and really, all women — are by their very nature demonic and satanic, but feminists and their demands for bodily autonomy and all that crap are extra-demonic and satanic and therefore we should still be allowed to burn them at the stake?

Okay sorry, I got a little carried away. Must be all the demons and satans in my soul.

arne link's avatar

MzNicky, I believe that you spoke for all women. Abortion is obviously not limited to the fat and ugly. Women were doing pretty well up until now. We had bodily autonomy, access to jobs, sometimes leadership positions. I know female firefighters, teachers, nurses, doctors, CPAs, all women. We have to continue the fight for equality. It must not slip away. Sorry for the rant.

Lise Buranen's avatar

Determined by teenaged boys, but enthusiastically maintained and promoted by grown-up teenaged boys, aka "men."

Susie's avatar

Standing all the way up to applaud like hell for that one, MzNicky!!!! Brilliant!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Stacy's avatar

Don’t know why, but the absolute idiots who believe we have troops on Mars, but have never been to the Moon…knowing there are people who are this easy to fool…just kills all my hopes.

And this attitude of “if I wasn’t alive when it happened, it didn’t happen” is gobsmacking. Like all the historians traveled back in time (since that’s a thing) and filled books and tv with all this made up shit?

Joyce's avatar

I once had a conspiracy-fueled student (well, there were also quite a few self-prescribed drugs at work, too) who would often suck the oxygen other people were actually using out of the room during discussions of literature. One day, she started one of her purple-hazed speeches, beginning, "Weeelllll, I was wondering.....what if, like, none of these people [eg, William Wordsworth], like....existed? What if there weren't any people before--"

That was the moment I had had enough of her drivel and interrupted her: "The earth is round, dinosaurs were real, vaccines work, and people were alive before 1996!"

The rest of the class practically cheered.

Janet Ridgley's avatar

The truth hurts some people.

arne link's avatar

Well, ya know it's like the person who travelled back in time to post that artististic letter to Epstein in Drumpf's handwriting. How dey do dat?

Robert Eckert's avatar

They faked not landing on the Moon?

Kay-El's avatar

1. Naomi Wolf and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Chemtrail Day

2. I had to rinse my eyes with bleach after seeing Duffy’s soft porn video.

Wendymae's avatar

FL is so stupid they passed a law requiring airports to report weather modifying aircraft. Spoiler alert: They haven't found any. Exactly 4 weeks until I move out of this hellhole and they excitement is building by the day!

Kay-El's avatar

Best wishes on the move!

Ben Zamir's avatar

Lucky you! Hope your move goes smoothly and you enjoy your new home outside the U.S.

Wendymae's avatar

Unfortunately, not moving out of the US, but at least out of FL and to a blue state.

Ben Zamir's avatar

That's a good move, too! I'm grateful to live in a blue state!

Marlene Lerner-Bigley (CA)'s avatar

Good for you!! You will be welcomed, wholeheartedly.

Ole Anderson's avatar

Meatball ron. Anything is possible.

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

Jeff made a colossal post today, the extra mile. The guy below got the workout.

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I’ve got to hand it to you, Uncle Jeff, for being able to boil the stupidest year in history down to three posts. I don’t think I could get halfway through January before I said, “Oh, fuck it!”

Tess's avatar

Jeff-you need to take a shower after posting all this bullshit! lol. Those people are crazy, delusional and plain ‘ol NUTS!