this week in stupid: October 25 edition

Pete Kegstand fakes it, Donny Convict breaks it, and so much more...

Oct 25, 2025

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.

monday: hey Donny, I can see the Epstein Ballroom from up here

oh, how cuuuuute! someone strapped Secretary of Defense Flippy McSkateboardnuts into the child seat of a fighter jet, and took him for a joyride.

let’s be crystal fucking clear about this: Pete Kegstand was a passenger. no way was he flying the plane — not with his blood-alcohol level.

of course, the Department of Defense went out of their way to crop that video in a way that implied Piss-Drunk Pete was piloting that jet — because that’s what you do when your SecDef is a banty rooster with a paper-thin ego in need of constant affirmation that he’s something other than a two-bit Fox News weekend chat-show dunk-tank clown.

Bob Clendenin, can you please explain to the nice people why no one with a functioning brain should be impressed by this ridiculous public relations stunt?

sure, but you know doesn’t have a functioning brain? MAGA, that’s who. those dumbfucks immediately started punching the air and going ‘Kegstand, fuck yeah!’

Community Notes, could you please explain to MAGA what they’re too dim to grasp on their own?

coolest SecDef ever? absolutely not. drunkest, maybe.

okay, this has been a post about Pete Kegstand, so you know what’s coming next. not only do you know it, you want it. so here it is.

yesssssss.

tuesday: Jesse’s mom has got it going on

the thing about Jesse Watters is that he’s not just Fox News’ found object. he’s his own mom’s found object — and Jesse’s mom never stops proving that she’s so much cooler than her son. was Mama Watters at a No Kings rally last week? absofrigginglutely, she was.

“my mom was there. can you believe my mom was there?”

hey Jesse, you know that dumb-ass list of infantile ‘rules for men’ that you have? the one with idiocies such as ‘real men don’t drink from a straw’ and ‘real men don’t cross their legs’?

here’s a rule for you, bro: real men aren’t out-cooled by their mom.

Jesse’s mom has a long history of dunking on her son, and we are all here for it. back in 2024, when Donny become a convicted felon, Jesse’s mom spent the entire day taunting the shit out of her son.

“my mom is celebrating. she texted me that she was dancing after the verdict. dancing. and then she kept texting me all day ‘34 … 34 … 34’ — felony counts.”

now comes the part where we throw our heads back in laughter. ready?

last November, after the election, Jesse’s mom left him off her Thanksgiving guest list.

“I was not invited to my mother’s house for Thanksgiving. apparently there wasn’t enough room. she said it was a ‘scheduling situation.’”

oh, I see. a ‘scheduling situation.’ how fucking pathetic.

imagine being such a repellent toad that your mom’s A-list of potential holiday guests is every other person on the planet.

Sad Trombone, could you step in here for a minute?

thanks, man.

wednesday: Kashmania!

let’s be clear about one thing: Kash Patel totally fucking sucks. this low-wattage grifter-turned-podcast-bro has no business leading the FBI. for that matter, he has no business leading a cub scout meeting. he’s just another one of Donny Convict’s dangerously unqualified sewer clowns.

that said, I believe that if Kash wants to celebrate his Hindu heritage, he should absolutely be allowed to go for it.

do you know what that makes me? more tolerant than MAGA, that’s what — because those intolerant fucknuts went absolutely ape-shit in the replies under Kash’s tweet.

here’s Whitey McWhiteywhite to whitesplain law to the director of the FBI — and in the most charming way possible.

so, apparently Diwali is a satanic thing? don’t ask me, I’m not an expert in Hindu culture like our friend Georgia is.

I’m sorry, we’re accusing Kash of doing what now?

fun true facts: Kash Patel was born in Garden City, New York, and Hinduism is not Paganism. but just try explaining that to Alexandra.

pro tip for Kash: if you catch shit for celebrating your religion because your own side is made up of racist shitkazoos, congratulations: you’re on the wrong fucking side.

thursday: back in the high life again

hey leftist! get ready to be owned by— by what, exactly? a rightist, I guess.

“A leftists head would actually explode if they experienced this.”

wait, what? I have the same question our friend here has.

seriously, I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be envious of in that photo. is it that I don’t live in a house so vermin-infested that I need to keep roach spray within arm’s reach at all times?

is it the cankles I’m supposed to be jealous of?

is it the resplendent architectural detailing?

which am I supposed to be envious of more, the slovenly collection of empty beer cans, or the half-empty pack of Marlboros?

oh no, wait — there it is! on the floor, there’s the crowning moment of leftist head-explode.

it’s the casually-tossed bottle cap down there on the peeling floorboards. such elan! such devil-may-care insouciance!

dude, you win. I am so fucking owned right now.

friday: the further adventures of some fucking idiot

on Friday, some fucking idiot blew up all our trade negotiations with Canada because he got Big Mad at his TV.

the fucking idiot was outraged that Canada had created a TV ad in which they accurately quoted Ronald Reagan verbatim on the dangers of tariffs.

after that, the fucking idiot spent the entire day power-loading an endless series of diapers while bellyaching on his crappy app about every one of his infantile grudges and grievances.

let’s fact-check the fucking idiot’s post, because nobody from the ‘failed Biden administration’ — not Jack Smith, not Merrick Garland, not Lisa Monaco — were in office during the 2020 election. they couldn’t have rigged a parking ticket, much less an entire election.

Friday evening, the fucking idiot boarded a plane bound for Malaysia, where the leaders of Cambodia and Thailand will sign a document officially resolving a four-day border dispute that that took place last July.

now, let’s get real. the fucking idiot couldn’t point to Cambodia and Thailand on a map of Cambodia and Thailand that was labeled ‘Cambodia and Thailand.’ nonetheless, the fucking idiot is now going to add this to his list of seventeen thousand imaginary wars that he and he alone “put out.”

before boarding the helicopter that would take him to his airplane, the fucking idiot stopped to yammer incoherently at the White House press corps.

the fucking idiot called the president of Colombia a drug dealer.

which I’m sure is news to the president of Colombia.

the fucking idiot whined about Canada some more, and accused them of ‘cheating on a commercial,’ which I guess is a thing now.

and then the fucking idiot announced that maybe he would be using his tacky Epstein Ballroom for ‘the arc’ — whatever the fuck ‘the arc’ is. maybe he means ark. maybe God told the fucking idiot to get ready for a shitload of rain. who even knows what goes on inside the fucking idiot’s big dumb pumpkin head?

and not one reporter stood up and asked ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’

how fucking idiotic is that?

saturday: ?

hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.

do you have a nomination for This Week in Stupid? email me at jefftiedrich@gmail.com. thanks!

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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