this week in stupid: November 23 edition

Junior numbs it, Kudlow plumbs it, and so much more...

as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.

---

monday: woman shocked to find the leopards won’t give her healthcare

here’s the heartwarming story of a woman who voted for the Handmaid’s Tale and was shocked to find that her status and privilege didn’t grant her the right to an abortion when she was the one wanted one.

Farmer told the newspaper she's always identified as “pretty pro-life”—but she found herself seeking abortion care, anyway, even calling her state senator's office to seek help. She didn’t find it.

the arrogance and obliviousness of this woman, to think that all she had to do was phone up the ‘no exceptions’ zealot she voted for and explain that ‘I’m not one of these sluts. I’m an upstanding Christian lady.’

let’s see how it went.

The office of her state senator, a Republican named Bill White, told her the state ban that was literally jeopardizing her life was actually “designed to protect the woman's life.”

with all due respect to you, Ms Farmer, you voted for this.

Farmer recalled telling White’s aide, “It's not protecting me.... There’s no chance for a baby; she's not going to make it. It’s putting my life in danger.” She continued, “I'm 41, it’s not something I can recover from quickly. I could lose my uterus, there’s a lot of things that could happen. We just want to move on, we just want to grieve.”

again, not to put too fine a point on it, but you voted for this.

White’s office promised it would talk to the state’s Attorney General Eric Schmitt on her behalf and then connected Farmer with an anti-abortion crisis pregnancy center in the state. Farmer never heard from White's staff again.

FOR FUCK’S SAKE, LADY, YOU VOTED FOR THIS. you fucked around, and now every woman in your state is having to find out.

---

tuesday: higher than one of Leon’s rockets

the Space Nazi invited a bunch of his Republicans pals down to Texas to watch the launch of one of his rockets. let’s check out the crowd.

holy fuck, did Individual-1 Junior just dredge some Bolivian marching powder out of his pocket and rub it on his gums — shamelessly, right out in public?

it sure looks like that’s what he’s doing.

let’s gif the shit out of that clip, because posterity demands it.

---

wednesday: elect a clown, don’t be shocked by what happens next

thoughts and prayers for these wingnuts who voted for Dear Leader to lower the price of eggs — and ended up with a dumpster fire of clownfuck incompetence instead.

Donny has yet to do one thing that he didn’t explicitly campaign to do — but these bros are shocked to discover that the impulsive imbecile they elected is acting like an impulsive imbecile. what mass psychosis is this, that has made half the country forget the four years of chaos that were 2016 through 2020?

but if you think these shmoes are delusional, just get a load of the next entry.

---

thursday: when you wish upon a moron

what in the holy name of Magical Thinking Jesus is this?

Some social media posts are claiming that Trump, once he takes office next year, may issue another check — a likelihood that experts say is extremely slim. Posts on TikTok are suggesting Trump might issue another round of checks, while on X, some users are questioning if they're in line for a payment. 

and sure enough …

oh. my. god. the stupid, as Atrios used to say, it burns.

mind you, this stimulus check fantasy isn’t even a promise that Donny made while campaigning — fuck no, it’s a fever-swamp hallucination invented by the cultists themselves. these low-wattage dipshits are so in the tank for Dear Leader that he no longer has to pull the wool over their eyes — they’re perfectly content to hoodwink themselves.

tell me, how was Kamala supposed to reach these voters? by promising them two imaginary stimulus checks?

---

friday: more like shitcoin, am I right?

here’s a can’t-miss idea from Wyoming Senator Cynthia Lummis, another intellectual giant from the GOP’s deep bench of super-geniuses.

“treasury should convert gold for bitcoin reserve.”

I don’t know about you, but I’m fucking loving this idea. yes, let’s take a tangible asset and convert it into easily-stolen imaginary money whose prime function is to pay for crimes. what could possibly go wrong?

ask any of these crypto evangelists to explain what’s so great about virtual currency and they’ll go on and on about how crypto will retain its value even after governments collapse.

hello? have these nitwits never seen a zombie movie? what’s the first thing to disappear when government cease to function? the electrical grid, duh. how are you brainiacs gonna get your money when there’s no internet to log onto?

is Cynthia Lummis, like Dear Leader, under the impression that bitcoins are real, and that you can hold them in your hand? does Larry Kudlow imagine this to be true, too?

hey, while we’re on the subject of Larry Kudlow, let’s take a stroll down memory lane, all the way back to August 18, 2019. remember when Dear Leader had the fucktaculous idea to buy Greenland? an obviously-inebriated Kudlow popped up on Fox News to defend Donny’s whackbrained notion.

watch what happens when Larry has one too many bloody marys before slurring his way through a Sunday morning TV appearance.

“Greenlandsha strategic place, up there, and uh they got a lotta valuable minerals. Ida wanna predict an outcome, I’m just saying the president, who knows a thing or two about buying real estate wants to take a look at a Greenland purchase.”

---

saturday: ?

hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.

---

do you have a nomination for This Week in Stupid? email me at jefftiedrich@gmail.com. thanks!

---

here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

---

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.