389 Comments
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Alison Parker's avatar

The funny thing about right-wing loons being against Halloween is that trick-or-treating is basically what billionaires do to the federal government.

Oh also, fuck messianics. Makes me wish we had excommunication in Judaism. GTFO.

Sarah #1's avatar

The lack of aesthetic sensibility is another punch in our faces. It’s not punishing enough that we have to deal with a moron and his enablers, their cruelty and sadism, the horrific things being done to innocent people….(list too too long) - but we also have to endure the dumbest person with the worst taste plastering their crap on our home (WH, Kennedy Center, etc.). GIVE US A BREAK!!! We already have to look at his abominable orange, ugly face and his stinking, sick gestapo.

Stephen Brady's avatar

And, I am guessing that "it is happening faster than anticipated" because Donnie Dipwad didn't apply for the required permits...

Rosemary Orlandi's avatar

Donnie 2dolls has to keep building to avoid the Epstein files. Kind of like Mrs Winchester and her house.

Kim Steeves's avatar

"We don't need no stinking permits!"

Pere Ubu's avatar

As I've said elsewhere, it really is efficient for a construction job to not have to worry about costs for materials and labor.

Robert Eckert's avatar

Donald Trump was prophesied — or predicted, rather, by the founding fathers of our nation:

“When a man, unprincipled in private life, desperate in his fortune, bold in his temper, possessed of considerable talents, having the advantage of military habits—despotic in his ordinary demeanour—known to have scoffed in private at the principles of liberty—when such a man is seen to mount the hobby horse of popularity—to join in the cry of danger to liberty—to take every opportunity of embarrassing the General Government & bringing it under suspicion—to flatter and fall in with all the non sense of the zealots of the day—It may justly be suspected that his object is to throw things into confusion that he may “ride the storm and direct the whirlwind.” " -- Alexander Hamilton

Bonnie Council's avatar

Somebody please tell me we are not paying for whatever abomination he's doing to the Kennedy Center.

Janet Ridgley's avatar

Kennedy Center he is destroying

Bonnie Council's avatar

Thanks - I fixed it. Now if I could only fix my brain.

Linda Weide's avatar

To add to this, since the US is not sending anyone of note to COP30 climate conference in Brazil, wondering if it will be the target of US military attacks. Trump hates the conference attributing it to Joe Biden, and is anti any environmentally positive actions, and hates Brazil.

As for Halloween, it used to be the Jehovah's Witnesses whose children could not celebrate Halloween in school parties, and maybe the Mormons because I had a boy who told me his religion was "The Saints" and that is why he could not participate. I asked is he meant Mormons of Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but he shrugged his fourth-grade shoulders and did not know. In general it is a balancing act for a teacher. In any case, it now explains why ICE and CBP are attacking children in Chicago who were having a Halloween Parade. They were doing it because they believed these children to be the progeny of Satan, and their parents too. That we have a country full of adults that believe things like this is terrifying. These are not people I want to be around.

Robert Eckert's avatar

Do you know why Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween?

Because they hate the thought of strangers knocking on their door!

Tex237's avatar

I thought it was funny, but I live on a street that sees alternating Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons knocking on our doors every week. I alternate telling them we are Catholic or Jewish, which sends them quickly on their way.

Pam Humphrey's avatar

I tell them I’m an atheist and don’t believe in fairy tale. They usually run.

Linda Weide's avatar

Is that supposed to be a joke? Not funny.

A guy I grew up with became a JW to try to control from his desires for beautiful young girls by being in a strict religion. I imagine other out of control feeling people embrace such religions too.

However, what it meant is that he, who was also model like beautiful had a series of 15-year old wives, and last time I ran into him, about 8 beautiful little children. He has a couple of sets of twins. How he managed child support I have no idea. He needed therapy, but I doubt that anyone in his religious community was going to suggest that to him.

David Skoglund's avatar

Actually Linda, it is a joke and it made me laugh when I read it.

George in Atlanta's avatar

I read the chain several times. I can't find what was so not-funny. Religious freaks of all shapes and sizes are funnier than shit. Your counter-factual, if that's what it was, doesn't. Most JWs don't come from outside converts, they breed them. Your boy there sounds like a particular flavor of fucked up. But you can get away with any damn shit you want if you can just hang it on your chosen sky fairy.

Linda Weide's avatar

I just don't think JWs are funny at all. Not the idea of them knocking on the doors of strangers either. They are annoying to people. I particularly don't since my book club is reading "Money, Lies and God" by Katherine Stewart right now. Just finished a chapter on NAR/Pentecostal/Charismatic Christians and their evangelizing. The JW guy I knew, whom I haven't seen in 20 years or more, was very messed up, but I find religions attracting people who are very messed up who are seeking help that is not costing what therapy does. Reading about how these churches hide the criminal behavior of their congregants in many articles is reinforcing my understanding of Christian Nationalist groups to have a lot of sexual abuse of children going on, and they hide it. Then they hue and cry over Epstein, while looking the other way as they, or people in their church are doing the same thing.

George in Atlanta's avatar

No arguments with any of that. It works both ways, religion attracts the weak of mind since it makes that a virtue. It also weakens people's minds, it reinforces and rewards the opposite of critical thinking. We're on the same page with all that.

Our difference has to do with humor. If I dress up as a taco and wear a "fuck you" hat at No Kings, it's not because I don't take Trump as a serious threat. I do, of course. It's just that humming funeral dirges at him is ineffective. Laughing at his pompous orange ass really pisses him off, it also has the knock-on effect of encouraging those around me to do likewise. Humor can be a sharp little weapon.

When I get LDS' or JW's or evangelical randos with 'good news' at my door, I smile and say 'keep it moving boys' and slam the door. Short and sweet.

Cathy 98280's avatar

😂😂😂👍👍👍

Pere Ubu's avatar

Gosh, we're not supposed to have holidays about the dead?

What, like Memorial Day?

Karen Livolsi's avatar

I figure this is good spot to post my opinion. The Lincoln bedroom’s bathroom now looks like a Hampton Inn hotel bathroom. The Wanker in the White House couldn’t find his backside with both hands. Creative builder my Aunt Fanny. Here’s looking at you Scott Bessent, you’re so tone deaf and stupid. No one believes you, either.

Bonnie Council's avatar

Years ago I had a born-again co-worker who was totally into the "no Halloween because it has pagan roots" thing. Yet she would gamble on a cruise ship (gambling was also against her religion). I guess because God didn't take cruise ships? I don't know but it's always been a curiosity to me, their "not for thee but for me dysfunction." Crazy.

arne link's avatar

Yes, there is a lot of selective Christianity going around. Lots of pedos in the various churches.

Jan Moon's avatar

It's the Christian Cafeteria. The Bible is the all-you-can-eat menu.

Kathy H's avatar

Oh, Linda, how heartbreaking, a child being denied joy & no understanding why, not even an explanation a child could hold onto to make some sense until they're older, just people supposed to be adults pushing a narrow, hateful view on the world. I can only imagine the balancing act of being a responsible, safe adult for these children. Please know that so very many of us recognize the value of that. Not necessarily being able to change much for these kids, but modeling being a good human, so they know there's something other than the harshness they are being taught at home.

Linda Weide's avatar

Kathy, it is a complex situation, one that the people now in charge are not equipped to manage, which is balancing the rights of many different people in a public school classroom, even in a private school classroom. I have learned so much from children and their families. I have also learned how to make a classroom a safe space. Something increasingly hard to do since right wing parents got a peak inside the classrooms during covid, and after getting over their gratitude, went on all out attack against the teachers and schools.

Noel's avatar

Such a child might remember your kind words years later, you never know the difference you may have made to them.

Linda Weide's avatar

I found that students I have run into later in life have always remembered me and the things they did in my class. I am glad to have made some impact. "To teach is the gift of a lifetime" is what my bumper sticker said.

James Starr's avatar

Do you have to use the F bomb?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

=x

patti sepich's avatar

I hate that fucking shit what the fuck James. Lololol

Bonnie Council's avatar

Now THIS made me laugh out loud. Thank you!

Derek Smith's avatar

“… commit extortion or vandalism…” why not both?

Jan Moon's avatar

Just another "Bend over, I'll drive."

arne link's avatar

Ok, that made me laugh. Thank you.

Lady Emsworth's avatar

Yeah - works for Donnie. . .

SeekingReason's avatar

Alison, 😄👍🏼

Ava's avatar

Well of course he had to redo that bathroom: he needed a far more elegant place to stash classified documents.

Paula Dean's avatar

The green bathroom was a zillion times classier. That ugly marble renders the bathroom invisible. It belongs in a fun house! Perfect for clowns 🤡 👌

David M Marko's avatar

He seems to have a penchant for marble. Probably due to the ones rolling around in his empty pumpkin head.

shee-rah's avatar

And gold tchotchkes pasted all over.

Leu2500's avatar

Redecorating is what the First Lady does. Since he wants to be First Lady, can Kamala take over the presidency? Vance is too busy with CK’s wife.

Declan's avatar

D is mimicking Hitler. Adolph would spend HOURS looking at fabric swatches, etc. when furnishing his Wolf's Lair....

Wendymae's avatar

I like that green bathroom and the new one is seizure inducing. Maybe he doesn't want anyone to ever use it.

SeekingReason's avatar

I said the new bathroom horror made me dizzy but seizure inducing is a better description!

Maui Wahine's avatar

The way the marble is laid out it looks like a vortex sucking you into the mirror over the sink.......

arne link's avatar

It's very brutal and ugly, like him.

Pam Humphrey's avatar

The man has no taste. None. He thinks marble and gold and “high-end carpet” is classy. He wouldn’t know class if it bit him on the ass.

Susan Kemp's avatar

It’s truly hideous. He said it was appropriate for Lincoln’s time. That’s ridiculous. Bathrooms of that era were dark mahogany with bathtubs that required steps to get in.

KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

What’s the deal with the golden decals on Saddam’s shitters?

Lady Emsworth's avatar

Saved cleaning them - every time he missed the mark, they'd gild the remains. . .

arne link's avatar

I am manifesting that he slips on the marble floor and bleeds out. I'm manifesting hard.

Paula Dean's avatar

I will be adding mine to yours. I'm picturing spilled bath oil.

KO in LA's avatar

Looks like a luxury hotel in Dubai, complete with monogrammed terry robe. How is this real life?

Kim Steeves's avatar

Seriously, did President Lincoln have marble in the bathroom. Strikes me as something a bit out of touch for them.

arne link's avatar

Did they even have flush toilets then?

Tex237's avatar

I know my family didn't. We had outhouses.

Major Kong's avatar

I don't know, that green bathroom reminds me of the Overlook Hotel's Room 236.

Paula Dean's avatar

I forgot about that!

Jane Redmond's avatar

Who the fuck puts a chandelier in a bathroom?

shee-rah's avatar

This seems so appropriate for his particular taste in drekorating.

Denise Donaldson's avatar

Props for "drekorating!"

Jane Redmond's avatar

I’m now thinking I might look for one next time I go thrift store shopping!

Pere Ubu's avatar

Someone was saying it's reminiscent of the mausoleum in the Phantasm movies.

Gina's avatar

I kinda like the throne to sit on/shit in while gazing out onto what remains of WH buildings and grounds

AKRebel's avatar

I had the same reaction to it!

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

He should name it the Aileen Cannon Crapper and send a framed photo of it to her office so she can enjoy her outcome.

DJS's avatar

Come to think of it, he hasn't given her her promotion yet. Either he needs her to stay where she is so she can do him more favors, or is waiting for one of the Supremes to croak or retire early.

shee-rah's avatar

I’m sure she’s hoping for the latter.

Pam Humphrey's avatar

I think I’ll do that.

rlritt's avatar

Ha ha! Of course! You can't stash top secret documents in any old bathroom.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Or as national treasure Jasmine Crockett referred to it, “the shitter”

JOE P's avatar

Yes you can, look at maralardo bathroom

zuzu's avatar

The biggest crime in that bathroom is that the toilet he installed is far less functional and more likely to break than the one he replaced.

Seriously, I had a pre-war apartment built in 1938 with the pipe stem toilet like the one in the previous version of the Lincoln Bedroom bathroom. That thing opened a portal to another dimension when you flushed it. Never had a single issue with it in the seven years I lived there. Not like the next toilet I had, which I called Bartleby, because it sat in the corner, and when I asked it to flush, it would often say, "I would prefer not to."

arne link's avatar

OMG, I am laughing so hard. The portal is just brilliant.

Bob Bowden's avatar

After power-shitting the old fixtures for four and a half years, they finally became uncleanable and had to be replaced

Declan's avatar

The white document boxes blend with the light marble so he thinks the boxescan easily 'hide' there. Oh silly me....most of the docs are probably in Vladimirs bath....

JOE P's avatar

Or Ivannas golf course grave

drosophilist's avatar

You win the thread.

Ava's avatar

a very sad win

Barb Z.'s avatar

This bathroom looks like it was moved from Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas. 🤢🤮

Kay-El's avatar

Doesn’t the orange buffoon know what happens to Gatsby?

Joyce's avatar

Clearly not. Nor does he know that the whole book is about a bunch of superficial, supremely stupid wealthy people who cannot conceive of doing anything except drink themselves into a stupor every weekend at parties hosted by a mobster who's eventually shot to death by a misinformed gas station owner.

In other words, F. Scott Fitzgerald prophesized MAGA.

Kay-El's avatar

I should have clarified that this was a rhetorical question 😂

Kathy H's avatar

These "morality" themes, reworked so well at times throughout history, are what most deeply resonate as the human experience. WTAF that these shallow shits take them as quick start, how-to manuals for success as villains. Granted, the romance of some stories, like Gone With the Wind, & others, can be somewhat misleading as we evolve in better understanding, but to entirely disregard or twist the central ' moral of the story' just shows - these aren't people & lives to aspire to, they are grotesque paradies, stunted human beings.

Mingo's avatar
Nov 1Edited

No. Donnie doesn't read, especially the classics.

Stephen Brady's avatar

Donnie is functionally illiterate...

SeekingReason's avatar

I take exception with you calling him functional!! 😵‍💫😄

Stephen Brady's avatar

Dysfunctionally illiterate?

Stephen Brady's avatar

Back during tRump 1, somebody who worked on the set of The Apprentice (probably Noel Casler) said he couldn't read his cue cards.

CAM from 🇨🇦's avatar

Donnie doesn’t read (period). No need to expound.

J Glaspie's avatar

which is why he needs NO LIBRARY!

shee-rah's avatar

The only thing in his library will be the Qatari airplane.

SethTriggs's avatar

The pricktator isn't a Democrat thus isn't responsible for knowing how *anything* works. It is sufficient to just say and do things and people who could impart accountability will go "this is fine."

Cyndi's avatar

Kay, you know perfectly well that "know" is a four letter word to MAGAts!

Kay-El's avatar

Truth, Cyndi!

Rosemary Orlandi's avatar

Not only Gatsby but King Louie and Marie Antoinette.....

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Home Despot !!! (... say no more ..) 💰💰💰🪙🪙🪙💰💰💰

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Loved that one as well Kathleen, nicely played Jeff!

GARY BERMAN's avatar

Kid Rock isn't a has-been, he's a never-been.

Mary Hall's avatar

No one ever sat in their driveway waiting for a Kid Rock song to end.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Mary, most people who appreciate music and art, change the station before his first note!

GARY BERMAN's avatar

I wouldn't know him if I heard him.

GARY BERMAN's avatar

So funny and so true!

shee-rah's avatar

When this guy is lying on a gurney in the operating room, will he demand that the surgeon remove her mask?

Tex237's avatar

He was very popular in the cold, northern, alcohol-swilling states like Michigan. My former stepmother loved him.

It's those long, dark winters.

Will's avatar

The fact that you have so much material EVERY WEEK for 'this week in stupid" is disturbing and amusing at the same time. And unfortunately -- if you had endless amounts of time on your hands and stayed up all night -- you could write, 'this hour in stupid' and never run out of material.

For what it's worth, last night's Halloween was one of my favorite ever. I live in a way-too-Republican neighborhood, and the kids who showed up at our door were polite, fun-loving, and adorable -- my faith in humanity restored. And then these stupid Republican nitwits have to say shit like this. Can we hand the world over to our kids? Now please?

Pere Ubu's avatar

I'm sorry - a holiday of ghouls and evil, involving coercion and vandalism, worshipping Satan, sounds a hell of a lot more like every day in the GOP.

Stacy's avatar

Except… did you happen to see footage of the orange one handing out Halloween candy? There was a kid dressed up in a blue suit and red hat…. We would have to be careful even of the kids we hand it over to.

He put a piece of candy on the top of a large hat-like-thing on a kid, where the kid couldn’t reach it. And he laughed and laughed.

Best part I saw was the little girl tapping on him to turn around-cuz he was dicking around- and pay attention and give her some candy.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

Just give those kids 18 or 20 years. They will turn into toxically-selfish narcissistic heartless pricks like their parents who were similarly groomed and live off inheritances from the grandparents. Hate and selfishness permanently corrupt their gene pool.

Janice Weber's avatar

Hand over the kids immediately—that have work to do!!!!!!!!

Gail Mahr's avatar

I feel sorry for the future.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Jeff I’m confused looking at that Kid 💩 wearing a cap that says Jesus inside of a fish? I talked to my landscaper Jesus, and asked him if he had those caps produced for people like this Kid. He laughed and went back to work…something this Kid knows nothing about.

DJS's avatar

Outstanding! (even gave me some Obama vibes...)

SeekingReason's avatar

Finally…turning the tables to get the truth out!

rlritt's avatar

OMG! You've been blocked by Dean Caine?

Sorry, who the fork is Dean Caine?

Scott Gilbert's avatar

I would have given my left nut to have had Democrat Joe Neguse ask the reporter who asked the following question, "What the hell is wrong with you?" Reporter: “If we come to November first, and these contingency funds haven’t been released, if nothing has been accomplished in restoring SNAP benefits, will you call on your Democratic colleagues to reopen the government and deal with these shutdown crises immediately?”

Will's avatar

Neguse's response was pretty amazing. He crushed him.

Tess's avatar

“low wattage nincompoop” describes them all! The bathrooms are disgusting-so only natural people would want to shit in it. (I KNOW THAT WAS BAD—SORRY!!)

Happy November-turn your clocks back and VOTE (and maybe we can turn the clocks on the nincompoops!)

Susan Jane's avatar

The marble bathroom looks like a cold place for embalming. It's dreadful. All that gray veined marble everywhere is like being encased in cobwebs. I like marble, but not surround marble!

Joyce's avatar

Definitely the 'hose down after autopsy' pathologist vibe.

Noel's avatar

It does look about as cheerful as a morgue.

Monnina's avatar

It is always all about the price tag with this class. Fuck aesthetics. They all spend an inordinate anount of time totting up just how much every item of clothing and jewellry you wear adds up to in hard currency. Only then will they decide whether you are ‘worth’ knowing. Those ghastly marble morgue walls are there to intimidate such folk. The ones with big money to donate.

Trump is now literally the Golden Calf.

Permian Extinction's avatar

I'm So Tired of Crazy People. Why can't they just destroy each other and leave the rest of us alone?

Joyce's avatar

I'm still pissed off about the fucking non-Rapture. Although, I guess, in God's defense, when one of the GQP Divinity Botherers told him about the schedule, he was probably, "Oh, shit--no way!"

Pere Ubu's avatar

"What? All THOSE people? Up HERE? No no no, call it the fuck off! Having them harass me individually for eighty years down there is bad enough, I'm not going to host their whiny asses for the rest of eternity!"

Stephen Schiff's avatar

The self-righteous pseudo-clerics would be singing a different song if the kids dressed up as ICE thugs to do their trick-or-treating. But the kids aren't dumb: They know that the only treats an ICE thug gets are little packets of rat poison.

Mingo's avatar

Not-A-Kid Rock should keep the mask on. Not to make fun of people with intellectual disabilities, but because it would be an improvement on his looks.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Damn straight Mingo, kid is the definition of ugliness!

Pere Ubu's avatar

Maybe he'll forget how to breathe through it.

Butch's avatar

Can't remember where I saw it, but aren't ticket sales at the Kennedy Center down by something like 65 percent? I can't wait until I never have to read one of his infantile, boastful tweets again.

Leu2500's avatar

They are down by a big %. The talent are trying to get their fans to still buy tickets, but people are still “nope.”

Sue Martin's avatar

As always, thanks for the weekly recap, Jeff! You're a true mensch to start off your weekends wading through the regime's endless stupid shit so we don't have to! Well, I'm off to get an MRI on my bum shoulder. I'm sure it won't be as perfect as Dozing Donnie's, but I'm a tough old broad and can deal with the disappointment 😉

Tess's avatar

Good luck with your shoulder!

Sue Martin's avatar

Thanks Tess! 🥰