205 Comments
User's avatar
Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

*for the second time this week, finishes a post before 10am*

*runs around the house, punching his fist in the air*

now why can't I do this every day?

Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

Running around the house while punching your fist in the air is actually good exercise. May you keep doing it. But please also realize, Jeff, we all love your posts so much, we can wait (somewhat patiently) if you don’t publish before 10 am.

I love the expression on Ms Spouse’s face in the craft “room”.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Why? Because you are a Craftsman!

"I will release no column before it's time..."

Irascible Ink's avatar

I love the visual this gives me every time it happens 😂

Vee Cross's avatar

Same. It's nice to know uncle Jeff has joyful moments these days ❤️

rlritt's avatar

I was up early and anxiously waiting for your post. Thanks for finishing it early. Its how I start my day. But its okay cause I live in CA so its only 7 am.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Yeah, I'm always going "Whar be my Tiedrich? WHAR?" in a Yosemite Sam accent.

Vee Cross's avatar

Because sugar doesn't taste as sweet if we consume the whole bowl 24/7.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Having him, a pompous stuffed shirt with no sense of humor at all, try to tell jokes is an exercise in futility.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Of course, his lame attempt at humor would involve a bad sex joke.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

The original version had the Pharoah running up a pyramid to sex his comliest concubine. It may have lost a little something having been translated from hieroglyphics.

Mingo's avatar

Even Don Rickles wouldn't approve and he was the king of insult comedy. Somebody tell me why Donnies hair is lighter in the afternoon and darker in the evening.

HI2thDoc's avatar
1hEdited

Different toupee for that evening cache`

P123Sunny's avatar

peak pretzel logic…indeed

HI2thDoc's avatar

Steely Dan rocks!

AuntTeeFa's avatar

No chuckles for the supreme lead clown. The orange dew is off the rose 🥀

Great crafty pics today! Have a great weekend all

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Seems like Trump is more confused than usual without his teleprompter guy.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I haven't been following the story. did the teleprompter guy actually lose his job for his insider trading?

Kathleen Weber's avatar

As of last report. I wonder if they'll sneak him back in quietly at some point..

Joyce's avatar

He's probably next in line for a Federal Reserve position.

HI2thDoc's avatar

My question is, which member of this family/regime/party (looking at you, MTG) has not committed insider trading?!

rlritt's avatar

You mean his normal speeches are usually read off a teleprompter and they are still that bad.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

He likes to go off-script. That's when he gets incoherent and claims it's "the weave."

Ellen McKenzie's avatar

He probably thinks it’s his best friend.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

Currently enjoying his ill-gotten gains from LAST Trump speech.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

If only he could have finished his burbling by 10 PM last night then jacked off two imaginary giraffes to set the WHCD free. Pathetic.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

He felt cozy and safe enough to doze off without some would-be assassin to liven things up.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Not shown: two phantom bull giraffes' goofy o-faces, tongues lolling, cartoon hearts encircling them.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

well, I do have to say those excerpts made absolutely no sense.

Joyce's avatar

It's a kind of achievement, in its own way, as nothing he says makes much sense, and this hit a new level of "Words--Do They Have Any Meaning?"

P123Sunny's avatar

…and this is just the subhead:

“The WHCD redo wasn’t a roast. It was a hostage video with beef tenderloin. And the only people who came out of that ballroom with a spine were the ones holding an award for the story he sued to bury.”

- Dean Blundell

Irascible Ink's avatar

Indeed. May wonders never cease.

DeBurgh's avatar

Will someone take the keys away? Donnie has always had low reasoning ability. (Euphemism for dumb shit.) But now he's mentally vacant. The residual is ugly, hateful slime. Disgusting to witness. History will not be kind to those who prop him up.

Mps's avatar

Great daily Claudia today.

Kay-El's avatar

I think that may be the closest we get to “what the fuck is wrong with you”

Stephen Schiff's avatar

Thanks for the link. It was enlightening to see how the various media spun their headlines. Almost as though they were reporting on entirely different events.

Mostly it appears that they scrambled to find something positive to say, like "But remember, Hitler built the Autobahn . . .", slightly missing the point.

Ann Anderson's avatar

There should be no such thing as the Washington Correspondent's Dinner for the obvious reason that reporters should not be palling around with the people they cover. Too bad that ship sailed ages ago. It's but one indicator of how fucked we are. I'd shake my fist at the sky and scream "How long, oh Lord?" but it only makes me more frustrated.

What I'd like to know is how the hell is Andrew Tate posting on X? Why does he have a phone and isn't posting on social media like MAJOR contact with the outside world? Suck it, Andrew, and enjoy your prison chow. I hear it's better than the slop you'll be eating in a UK jail.

Joyce's avatar

The Dinner is relic of those by-gone days when people from any and all sides in DC could sit down and just be civil and have some fun and maybe some good food and wine. And then go back to work.

Ann Anderson's avatar

Relic is the operative word.

HI2thDoc's avatar

I do believe that demented relic has never been used before

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Thoughts exactly in such a supposed lockdown?

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Our MAGA-aligned DOJ is enabling him to feed his fan club of pedophiles, incels, and violent misogynists.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

"no contact with the outside world" my ass. Such a drama queen.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Oh, come on, they get bangers and mash on Whitsuntide

P123Sunny's avatar

Personal news: I am only two diarrhea parasites away from my goal weight.

- @raykwong.lol

HI2thDoc's avatar

To the tune of Oklahoma!:

Trumporrhea, where the crap comes blasting out your rear

And you get the sweats with your gaseous jets

And the pain feels like it'll last a year

Trumporrhea, we have DOGE and RFK to blame

They cut the CDC and hurt food safety

Hope they get the shits too just the same

We know we hate this regime

Stupid is their only scheme

And when we say

Go away, motherfuckers, go away!

We're only saying

We hate your guts, MAGA dumbfucks, okay!

Mingo's avatar

Rogers and Hammerstein would approve.

Hollie Rood's avatar

😂😂😂You outdid yourself with this one Doc!!

Bob Kent's avatar

Absolutely great 👍

You could say it's a blast 💩

Denise's avatar

👏👏👏

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Oh, yeah, you want more R & H? Here you go! "Higher than fuck is the goaty dotard, grab a lady grab a lady grab a lady's hooch!"

Ann Anderson's avatar

I knew there was an up side!

arne link's avatar

Brilliant! Less costly than GLP1, too.

rlritt's avatar

Way to go!!

Kathleen Weber's avatar

Oy vey, such a life!

Mike Hammer's avatar

Which parasite may I ask?

P123Sunny's avatar

I’m going with cy clo spora 1.0 atm

Kathleen Weber's avatar

I wonder how many women Andrew has kept in confinement during his career and how THEY felt about it.

No commissary

No visits.

No contact with the outside world.

Just waiting for the rapist to come back

HI2thDoc's avatar

Poor snowflake Tate

Found out way too late

Being the worst predator

With nary a competitor

Can lead to INCARCERATE!

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

Never having been in prison, so maybe I missed something, but I'm wondering how someone being held in SHU, with no contact with the outside world is posting on a social media account.

Irascible Ink's avatar

Yeah, that crossed my mind as well. Lock me in a room and so long as I have my phone, a charger, and the interwebs I can be entertained for hours, finally having the time to read ALL the good AND the bad I don't have time for.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

it's possible that someone with access to Tate's account has been posting for him. also, Tate, despite what he claims, is not being held in a maximum security prison.

SPW's avatar

Aww shucks! I was kinda liking the idea of him in solitary with a screaming cannibal for a neighbor. I mean, that’s quite a turn-on 😂. And that arrest outfit is to DIE for.

Joyce's avatar

It was quite enough to know about Tate's proclivity for rape, sex trafficking, and child porn--he really doesn't have to ice the atrocious pervert cake with that outfit and housing with screaming cannibals.

Susan Jane's avatar

I like knowing that he's next to screaming cannibals. It cheers me.

Irascible Ink's avatar

The cannibal is screaming because he's hungry and wouldn't touch Tate with a ten foot fork.

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I think in any prison he would be a target for violence with his love of child porn [edited], so they secluded him. I'd like to see him in the general population so that he knows how it feels.

myhoopbabies's avatar

I agree. Scum of the earth should be treated accordingly.

rlritt's avatar

Maybe someone else is posting on his phone for him.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

then obviously he's got contact with the outside world.

Susan Niemann's avatar

Keep your eye on Baron Trump who probably wont have to testify in the Tate fiasco... his mama wont let that happen...but it's still fun to think about. If that was my kid, he wouldn't be allowed anywhere near the creepy Tate bros. But the Trumps are not exactly parents of the year. 🙄

It's been such a depressing week, plus I'm back in rural Missouri for awhile which makes the stoopid even more intense, I'm gonna bake stuff all day and take a damned nap. Wake me up when it's over. 😂

Joe Witkowski's avatar

I just learned from Barbara McQuade’s book “The Fix” that the little depraved, never-tried-a-case Hitler-haircut-sporting Chief of Weaponization Ed Fucking Martin is from Missouri. How did I survive living in that Gestapo gulag for 25 years?

arne link's avatar

Baron is a strange bird. It does not surprise me at all that he is besties with Tate.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Raised by a sociopathic predator and a conniving gold digger was a shitty hand to be dealt, money be damned

rlritt's avatar

He's just happy to have a friend.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Any friend at all

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

It's never going to be over Susan. It's the world's cross to bare.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Most thoughtful response I’ve read today Susan, happy baking…

Mike Hammer's avatar

Jefff, your “ foundation” may be different day to day meaning that your core physical symptoms and biological inputs dictates how well you function, heal and resists disease. fluids, electrolytes, resting heart rate, metabolism are often measured.

Sorry to tell little Micro Rubio that “ A head for an eye” was a term used by Israelis during the Infatadas.

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

That's probably where Little Marco (or someone in the State Department got it from.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Oh, dear God. That little slime thinks he's going to be Viceroy of Cuba.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

You mean when the PLO was murdering civilians in cafes and buses?

Mike Hammer's avatar

Palestinian suicide bombers blowing up buses filed with people. The PLO took mentally handicapped Palestinians and strapped explosives, told them where to go, what to blow up. Those were some of the darkest days for Israel.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

As I heard it, they'd padlock the explosives on them so they didn't get cold feet. As long as we're going down this dark path, I recall that Biercian comment by George Packer after seeing the blown off head of a bomber. Packer noted the surprised expression on the face, unusual, since after all, he was the only one who knew what was about to happen.

Trux Mint In Box's avatar

So Andrew Tate has no visitors, no commissary but is allowed to have access to the internet?!? There are black kids in solitary confinement that don’t even have books because they were caught with half a roach in their car. Fuck that guy.

arne link's avatar

The guards should just house him with the cannibal. That would solve two problems at once.

Kathleen Weber's avatar

This plan tells everything about Elon. Instead of putting out a movie with actual people he's going to deliver AI generated simulacra with Size D boobs and/or 8 Pack abs. But they will all be WHITE!!!

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

And his rendering of this fictional mythology will be historically accurate!

Eva's avatar

Jesse Watters is the guy women look at and think "THAT'S why I'm single".

In my family, after we talk about some trashy man, we typically end it with "and he's not even GOOD LOOKING!"

Joyce's avatar

The Found Object is the most effective birth control on the planet.

Colleen's avatar

Last night while the PEDO was ranting and rambling and insulting people IN THE ROOM, it would have been awesome if the whole gathering had shouted, “QUIET PIGGY!” totally missed opportunity!

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

I wish these reporters would answer back instead of accepting his abuse stoically. Kaitlan Collins should say, "If you need a woman to smile at you that much why don't you try asking your wife?"

Chris Hierholzer's avatar

Nice dream Colleen.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

It's amazing how much of the Familiar Substance a body will eat if their salary depends upon it.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Fat jokes. How classy. Has he looked in a mirror lately? And "the governor of Chicago"? Oh well, I guess it's sort of accurate. The ultra-wealthy Pritzker family pretty much does own Chicago. But hey Trump, SOME billionaires understand that people exist outside of themselves.

Dave Drell's avatar

Drumpf could have said “mayor of Illinois” - Pritzger family own a lot, but I wouldn’t say it’s Chicago- they don’t even own any sports teams, which is probably why they suck most of the time. I just wish they threw some money at Chicago Public Schools who just laid off another 700 teachers/staff.

Trux Mint In Box's avatar

And then the whole press bent over and said “Thank you sir may I have another?”

Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Ghislaine could probably give Andrew Tate some tips on how to go from cannibals to puppies.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Tate oughta be honored that they housed him next to the legendary Hannibal Lecter

Natalia Lincoln's avatar

“Auggghhhh… the late great Hannibal Lecter, who used to ride electric sharks until his magnets got wet…”

TCinDC's avatar
2hEdited

"Before this year ends, Grok Imagine will make a full-length movie of The Odyssey that is historically accurate and true to the art of Homer."

Ah, nothing like historical cyclops, sirens, giant cannibals, and sea monsters. You go, Elon!

Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂 He must be high all the time.

michellefromchicago's avatar

Definitely. Flying around on Fork Force One

rlritt's avatar

I think I read somewhere that he takes ketamine.

HI2thDoc's avatar

I think it's a fact

HI2thDoc's avatar

Mythology is what Musk engages in every time he forecasts colonizing Mars and letting AI run the entire human existence. Plus, historically accurate mythology is an oxymoron, dumbshit.