352 Comments
User's avatar
Mark Slattery's avatar

Melania's dress looks like a zebra that just fucking gave up.

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

I can understand how it was inspired by the Epstein redactorama.

Bob Bowden's avatar

She’s cleverly redacted all the places her disgusting husband tried to touch with his rotting hand

Jennifer C's avatar

Redactorama...hahahahhaaaaa!

Bob Bowden's avatar

Subconsciously she’s rooting for the day her husband is wearing stripes

Deborah Hunter's avatar

She's no better than he is in her own way. Her greed has enabled this farce of a marriage to go on. She's the parent who looks the other way when dad beats the kids. She knew what he was like when she married him, yet chose to have him as the father of her child. She is an embarrassment to women and her fellow immigrants.

Mary Lou Williams's avatar

Just a typical gold digger who keeps young thanks to her favorite plastic surgeon. I'm so thrilled her film is a flop especially since her MAGA fans don't have money for a ticket as they struggle to pay the rent and six pack for Saturday night.

LindaSRW's avatar

Your comment was perfectly stated. Thank you! My thoughts exactly.

Water Goddess's avatar

Soulless ghouls and whores, the lot of them

Christine Zepka's avatar

Barron is her guarantee of lots of $$$$$$ when he finally does the world a favor and dies ( by natural causes of course 🙄).

DJS's avatar

She's just an asset to his portfolio, window dressing. Part of his "alpha mystique." [retch!]

Mingo's avatar

Subconsciously she's rooting for the day he's six feet under the earth. I'm rooting for that consciously and out loud.

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

The dog collar gives it away. She's nothing but GOP talking points personified. I might have, used to have, don't have anymore, sympathy for her. And in his SICK TWISTED way Trump is probably happy that her "film" flopped as he would be really pissed if his lowly wife took the spotlight off of him for a day or two. He's laughing all the way to the bank with the $40 million Bozo paid her.

Christine Zepka's avatar

She was part of Epstein’s cabal. He “had” her first. No sympathy for the devil.

Randy Woodall's avatar

"Hey! Stripe! What do you like?"

(Referencing the song Spike by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. You see, Spike wears a dog collar. Cool song, that's all.)

Lisa Dekker's avatar

She looks perfect right now: ready to be delivered to a wax museum somewhere as is…

Kevin Rice's avatar

Knowing the people here appreciate Jeff and making up their own fun similes and metaphors, I'm just going to drop this link in here. I don't know this guy personally, and he only posts once a week (Friday evenings), but the posts are usually 2000-2500 words long and are well worth the read.

https://showercapblog.com/

He's similar to Jeff with just a little less swearing and he goes through a ton of subjects. I think this audience will appreciate it.

Susie in OH's avatar

Butt ugly. Looks like one of Ivanka’s designs.

Jane's avatar

😂😂😂

Susan Davis's avatar

Or just gave up fucking.

Unity In Defiance's avatar

Designer taxidermy is how I will forever refer to Melania from now on. lol

Also I’d rather squirt lemon juice into my eyes for 90 mins straight vs watching her propaganda fluff piece.

HI2thDoc's avatar

That is apparently a very common sentiment. Bezos's fascist $75 million suckup not showing much return on investment.

rlritt's avatar

Oh I think he's probanly getting a big return, which has nothing to do with the movie.

Unity In Defiance's avatar

This is what really has my interest.

What is his payout really—bc it must be pretty damn good or big to be totally ok with this flopasterpiece being pushed into the public sphere with his (bezos) name attached to it.

Did Trump sell him the moon?

Or, are they all so completely filled with hubris they all sat around thinking it’d be some Oscar worthy documentary?

I’d go watch the movie about how this whole thing transpired to be created. That’d actually be worth paying money to watch.

Gina's avatar

yes to your last para. - and re everyone involved considering the predictable humiliation (if unexpected, great - but surely foreseen)

LINDA ADAMS's avatar

He’s getting a lot of needed approvals for his Blue Origins flights in Florida.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Yes, it may be payback for the Big Billionaire Blowjob Bill, giving Bezos, Mushk, Ellison, Suckerberg, et al a tax cut that they don't need and will not even notice

Ole Anderson's avatar

I get a feeling that Bezos’

Plastic Fantastic Pneumatic wifey had something to do with this Melanoma fiasco. She has a hankering to be the Queen Bee of the Botox Banshees of Mierda al Lardo I believe and with her low IQ she envisioned this being her entry piece for admission to the ranks of the Grouper lipped groupies who hang out hoping to be noticed by Herr Shitzenpants at some sleazy wedding or Bar Mitzah being held on the premises.

Some glory, huh?

Mary Hall's avatar

"Grouper lipped groupies" = LOL! I shall endeavor to use that in a sentence today.

Dave Drell's avatar

Ditto, Mary…good one Ole

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

She's another woman who used to be attractive until she discovered cosmetic surgery, and now she's grotesque.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Botox Banshees! Awesome!

meryl selig's avatar

Brilliant writing. Great epithets and accurate too. Grouper lipped groupies! Marvelous. Plastic Fantastic… for sure. What do these “modified “ women see when they lol in the mirror?

Hollie Rood's avatar

Don’t believe she can actually LOL with a frozen plastic face

CJ Bair's avatar

“… “MELANOMA fiasco”!!! LOL PERFECT!

Cheri Collins's avatar

Oh, Ole! You win the best descriptive naming yet prize: Botox Banshees of Mierda al Lardo! 🤣😂🤣

Gina's avatar

some neat phrases there, Ole

Stephen Schiff's avatar

My greatest regret re the Malaria movie is that Bezosj didn't spend more. $75M is pocket change for him.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

Hey, he has to roll over every morning and look at Lauren. That's pretty bad punishment.

Mary Greenwald's avatar

Unless he is in the Epstein Files!

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Isn’t that guaranteed for all these billionaire sycophants Mary?

meryl selig's avatar

Bezos is in the E-files. Yes.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

The laughter and gasps he’s generated for the investment, might be worth it Doc.

Nina Simmonds's avatar

Very similar to the 70 Million $ wedding to his (third?) wife.

CA Productions/Carol Ann's avatar

His kinship with Trump is that they both have again whores for wives.

Richard Von Busack's avatar

Oh, c'mon! Who doesn't love a movie about a floozy with a heart of gold?

HI2thDoc's avatar

Her version of a heart of gold is that she's a shameless gold digger. How did that work out for ya, Mel? Married for money and an Einstein VISA (Ha!) to a lying, cheating, predator who embarrasses you and will be known as the most openly corrupt and stupid leader in world history. Worth it?

rlritt's avatar
11hEdited

Hey if I were a dirt, poor girl from Slovakia with nothing but my looks, I might go the same route. She was pretty enough to be a "men's magazine model" and parleyed that into Epstein island where she met a stupid, old, rich American, married him and had a son, and never had to worry about money again. I would bet she was hoping he'd find a new girl.

HI2thDoc's avatar

I think she's hoping he'll hurry up and croak already

Cyndi's avatar

Her idol is Henry the 8th's sixth wife.

Lou Solimeo's avatar

Yeah before he gets arrested.

Marlee Ostrow's avatar

I can only hope that when all these motherfuckers are impeached and imprisoned, ALL their assets are seized and given back to the American treasury, or distributed equitably throughout the population.

rlritt's avatar

From your mouth to God's ears.

Ole Anderson's avatar

Hell Yeah, Doc !!! You ever seen the Slovenian ghetto 👎?

You’d choke that mushroom right on down, and act like you enjoyed it just like Jeffrey said to do!

Mary Greenwald's avatar

What is EPSTEIN VISA?

Brenda K's avatar

My dyslexic eye saw "EPSTEIN Visa" 😹

And for whatever it's worth, I was wondering if that asinine flick addresses that purported "Einstein Visa"...which sounds to me like just another steaming load of gaslighting.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Epstein Visa may be more accurate than ever. No, this supposed "documentary" is about (per Google AI Overview): "Melania': What to know about the US first lady's new ...Melania (2026) is a $40 million Wikipedia-style pseudo-documentary directed by Brett Ratner that chronicles the 20 days leading up to Donald Trump's second presidential inauguration in January 2025. It features, according to The Decider, a "narcotized" voiceover from Melania Trump focusing on her fashion choices, and preparations for returning to the White House." Just what audiences don't care about, judging by the lack of interest.

Deborah Hunter's avatar

I'd say yes. She is an American citizen now, parents got citizenship fast, hasn't worked a day for about 30 years since she met him and I'm sure she's got millions stashed somewhere. She doesn't even live with him. People like her don't care what we think or their place in history.

Martha Howell's avatar

Pretty sure that was an Epstein Visa

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Silly goose, she has no human characteristics. Empathy, morals, compassion, the capacity to love… She’s a big void, just like the even bigger void half of the Russian arranged marriage she was paid for

meryl selig's avatar

Except this ho does not have a heart of gold. She is made of ice

AuntTeeFa's avatar

Like all reptiles

Koko in AZ's avatar

I heard that they are offering people $50 to watch it as long as they watch the whole thing to the end.

Unity In Defiance's avatar

I’d pay them $50 to not watch it lol

Bob Kent's avatar

I'll not watch it for free.

In fact, I'm doing it now!!

Kathy H's avatar

Yeah, lol, you wait, that's the next Amazon scheme for us to keep subsidizing this shit, fees to opt out.

Maria K 🇮🇪's avatar

🤣🤣🤣🤣I’d rather go Blind than watch that trollop! Epstein’s ho then trumps…Way to go! Shag your way to the bottom.🤢🤢

Unity In Defiance's avatar

Shag your way to the bottom is right!!

Now if she told the REAL story with no lies, exposed all the corruption, filth, and complicity she’s been privy to all these years?

Well that would get a 100% rotten tomatoes instead of the 7% score she got on this lying vapid fluff piece.

arne link's avatar

She doesn't care. She got her $40,000,000 up front, as working girls do.

Maria K 🇮🇪's avatar

As HIGH as 7%!! Holy Shit! 🤣🤣🙈

Harry Borgerhoff's avatar

Don’t give them ideas. We’re not far from mandatory broadcasting.

Dave Drell's avatar

There would be vomit all over the floor!

Maria Devereux's avatar

Cheap skates- they're going to have to up the ante one helluva lot.

Jane's avatar

🤮🤮🤮

CA Productions/Carol Ann's avatar

Benzo will put it on Netflix soon

George A. Polisner's avatar

Thanks Jeff.

I have a question (raises hand)...

If the Office of Legal Counsel provides an opinion that a sitting President should not be subjected to a criminal trial - because there are remedies in terms of impeachment, and because otherwise a President would spend all of their time responding to various criminal indictments and trials -why is a sitting President allowed to pursue a lawsuit?

"The Office of Legal Counsel concluded that indicting or prosecuting a sitting president would unconstitutionally undermine the president’s ability to carry out the duties of the executive branch and interfere with governance. For this reason, OLC has taken the position that a sitting president is not amenable to criminal prosecution while in office, and impeachment is the proper constitutional remedy for serious misconduct."

It seems the OLC should state if this President can be plaintiff in civil actions they have given up their right to be insulated from criminal proceedings.

Cathy Rady's avatar

he's actually our SHITTING president

Barbara Vasile's avatar

RFK, Jr. is standing there thinking, “What’s the big deal? I’ve gone swimming in water that smelled worse than that!”.

Stephen Brady's avatar

Donnie makes a doody in his pants! How can the next prez top that? He looked quite pleased...

KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

Mommy! Mommy! I made boom boom!

KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

Oh yeah, and because his mommy never praised him for good potty habits, trump became a deviant sociopath.

meryl selig's avatar

He had to have filled his pull-ups. The people were hustled out asap. Who is tasked with cleaning him up?

HI2thDoc's avatar

That is actually a very valid question. Talk about a thankless job. Unless one of his cultists might really want to do it. Damn, what am I saying?!

Mingo's avatar

In the Tudor era that would be the Groom of the Stool. Which stool is up for debate.

KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

Why did they have to make it so chaotic? They could just announce that trump has another meeting or something and usher them out. Instead, they all lose their shit just because he did!

Stephen Brady's avatar

As long as it’s not me, I don’t care, do you?

Cathy Rady's avatar

Melania says, "ditto"

she won't touch that shit

Jane's avatar

👏👏👏

Frank Nuts's avatar

Excellent point George! If he’s too busy playing golf 2 or 3 days a week and too busy doing campaign rallies (on government property) and too busy invading countries and plotting the demise of our allies and too busy invading our cities and murdering our citizens with his brown shirts and too busy changing his dirty diapers… if he’s too busy doing all of that to be charged and convicted of criming it up then one can logically conclude that he’s too busy to be suing U.S. taxpayers for the crimes that he himself committed in the past. The taxpayers didn’t cheat on his taxes — he did. “Splain Lucy” (as Desi used to say”

Ole Anderson's avatar

Desi always said ‘ You got some ‘splainin to do, Lucy!’

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

You are correct, sir. But the Alt Universe doesn't recognize basic logic.

George A. Polisner's avatar

Yes, and its inhabitants are “factose” intolerant.

Lois Henry's avatar

That is a damn good point!

Sharon Senkiew's avatar

You’re presuming he would follow any Office of Legal Counsel opinion.

Joanne Rossmassler Fritz's avatar

My favorite line from today's post (and there are many contenders): ". . . a dress that now looks unavoidably like the redacted Epstein files." HA! Thanks, Jeff, for always making us laugh when we really want to sob.

Frank Nuts's avatar

Yes you are right Joanne! Jeff is the man! When Jeff’s posts come on line it can be said with all sincerity and extreme confidence: “The man is here”…

And the “Dude” would concur!

Pamela Van Sickle's avatar

Yes, I love that line too Jeff. A giggle is WAY better than sobbing.

Mark Slattery's avatar

Not just any leather for my sign; I use 2 Corinthians leather.

verne's avatar

i use erikka's cast off pleather pants for my sign

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Mine are Nagahyde, unfortunately a ton of Naga’s had to die for my signs Mark

Dave Drell's avatar

Stripped from your Chrysler Cordova, I bet

arne link's avatar

Oh, you people! I am proud to know you.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Or as pres dumbshit pronounces it, Aye Aye Corinthians

HI2thDoc's avatar

Lindsey is used to looking up because he's always kneeling to kiss preznit predator's ass. Or worse.

zuzu's avatar

Lindsey is the one holding out on the budget. He wants the amendment allowing members of Congress to sue for damages for the DOJ looking at their communications with the White House on Jan. 6 to be put back in.

HI2thDoc's avatar

Tell us you're an insurrectionist without saying you're an insurrectionist, Lind.

Christine Zepka's avatar

NO! He would like that too much.

arne link's avatar

No, don't give him any pleasure. None at all.

Mps's avatar

Again

Ewwww

Water Goddess's avatar

I think I read from a body language expert or saw on an FBI documentary that when you look up when answering a question, you’re literally making shit up

Sheila Riley-Callahan's avatar

I saw the clip last night (with volume) of him in the Oval Office acting so full of himself. Then you heard the explosions of him crapping himself. The woman in green holding her nose and the minions rushing reporters out Oval Office was so disgusting and embarrassing. This is our current reality. Thanks for posting Hegseth crushing his balls again. This clip always helps me feel better.

Mrs Moore's avatar

I wonder which one of them had to help him clean up that mess in his pants?

arne link's avatar

Possibly that blond woman who follows him around with a printer to show him good news? She is certifiable.

Lucinda Abra's avatar

Printer Trad Wife?!

Christine Zepka's avatar

Do you mean wife #4?!

Sharon Senkiew's avatar

Oh gawd- not enough money in the world for that job🤮

Celine's avatar
11hEdited

I liked this bit from the Guardian's review even more:

“As first lady, children will always remain my priority,” she coos, and you can almost picture her coaxing them into her little gingerbread house."

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Unless the children are sleeping under aluminum blankets on the floor of a cold immigrant detention facility. Then, the fashion statement is: "I don't really care. Do you?"

meryl selig's avatar

That intentionally cruel jacket defines her

Maria Devereux's avatar

The same Melania on tape exclaiming..why do I have to do the decorations...I hate fukeen Chreestmazzz!

HI2thDoc's avatar

Did Rudy Colludy finally cough up that dough that he owes Shaye and Ruby for ruining their lives with his big fucking lie-slinging pie hole?

Cherié Brodnax's avatar

Likely not…which is why he’s reduced to offal he’s wearing from Zoot Suits R Us. Colludy is a brokey jokey.

Mingo's avatar

Zoots Suits R Us. LOL. He was on his way to a WWE event.

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I believe they received a ton of his expensive trinkets like his watch collection, a residence or two, along with his car collection. Iirc Doc.

Cyndi's avatar

But not, apparently, that ring he's wearing...

Susan Niemann's avatar

Another excellent start to a weekend! Rudy's suit, tho. 🤯

Other funny reviews I read Melonomas movie:

If constipation were a movie. – Doctors Across Borders

The butt-plug of the silver screen. – Kink Magazine

I hoped for a massive coronary 5 minutes in. - Leonard Maltin

I suggest a large dose of penicillin after watching this STD of documentaries. – Dr. Oz

🤣🤣🤣

J Glaspie's avatar

Oh, but I love most what INDECLINE did to her promo billboard: M shitting on the US flag. https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-features/melania-amazon-doc-ads-defaced-indecline-1235507184/

Water Goddess's avatar

God blesses artists because we do his work

Susan Niemann's avatar

Ooooohhh....thats a good one! 😂😂

Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

That is Rudy’s Pimp outfit it will definitely stop traffic.

Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Super Bowl half time? Well I understand the “Alternative Half Time Show” will feature Ms Laura singing. I swear for her to sing/bleat music such as Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down” is worse than fingernails on a chalkboard… Couple that with Kid Rock or Ted Nugent or Lee Greenwood and I fear people watching will be induced to vomiting all the Super Bowl food. Best to All…

Tess's avatar

EW!!!! To them all!!

Bob Kent's avatar

Just watch the Puppy Bowl

Dave Drell's avatar

The people vomiting at half time would be the Maga half wits- so I encourage vomiting.

Also, listening to Drumpf ramble on is equal to or worse than listening to Laura LosseLips singing…

Fastball Fredo's avatar

I’m not sure Dave.. have you heard Ms Laura sing? With a goat in the background? That’s some grade A head splitting stuff going on…

Polly Sears's avatar

Don't forget Nikki M. Some rap?

Fastball Fredo's avatar

I can’t do that I tell ya.. As Jerry Garcia said.. rap ain’t music, it’s just someone talking to music, that’s called rapping..

Joe Witkowski's avatar

Tommy Tube Steak is being challenged on his run for chief imbecile of my fair current home state. He can’t decide if he is going to run it into the fucking ground from Florida or Alabama….

Cherié Brodnax's avatar

By the way, I honestly think he did shit his pants this the 5 alarm fire to get everyone tf out expeditiously.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

RFK, Jr. standing right behind him: "Yum, do I smell lunch?"

KP Johnson Austin, TX's avatar

Said in a jumpy/croaky/shaky weird voice: "My ol-fact-ory sys-tem is all w--wacked out from all all the drugs I t-take, c-c-crap I eat, and shit I sw-swim in."

Christine Zepka's avatar

Or was it a tent stake? Jury’s still out!

Jane's avatar

😆😆😆

Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Appears to be the case Cherie, good call!

Water Goddess's avatar

Noel Caslon, who worked on The Apprentice with him, said Trump strategically shits his diaper on purpose to terrorize people he doesn’t like. Funny how the AI video of his fat ass shitting diarrhea over citizens depicted that.

There are no coincidences.

Mega loves him so much they should slide his soiled diapers down and love his tiny mushroom like only a maga man can.

Tess's avatar

Thanks for the STUPID laughs—-my word…they are all idiots! Time to protest…without leather, without a stipend, without a beautiful sign…just my homemade one: DEMOCRACY NOT FACSISM

Richard Von Busack's avatar

That's gotta stink! Yeah, Lindsey's in a rare state. I love watching some anxiety-ridden guy trying to sell some shit he knows is not gonna sell.

Amykk's avatar

First, Sophie Gilbert wins "Best Analogy" award today. Second, my protest sign was made on the side of a Chewy cardboard box. I'm 73. I can't carry a wood and leather-paneled sign.