this week in stupid: January 3 edition
Megyn gloms it, Donny bombs it, and so much more...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at the dumbest fucking shit that happened.
monday: new Biden scandal drops
brace yourself, that scandalous scandal-factory, Sleepy Brandon, has gone and done it again. here’s Tomi Lahren — Fox News’s latest found object, sitting in for Sean Hannity — to break that shit down.
“and you will never believe where Joe Biden was spotted. spoiler alert. he’s on vacation.”
I beg of you, MAGAville, could you fucking ghouls please — at long last — leave Joe Biden alone? what’s the fascination? show us on the doll where Joe Biden hurt you.
he’s retired. he’s out of office. he’s a private citizen. he’s recovering from cancer treatment. just let it go.
news flash: it’s the week between Christmas and New Year. people fucking go on vacation. even Dear Leader’s holed up in his seedy golf motel.
let’s get real. the only reason a D-list never-was like Tomi Lahren got to fill in for Hannity — who it must be noted was ON VACATION — was that so many people are out of town right now that some hapless Fox producer had to wade through their entire contact list before having no other choice but to go ‘oh fuck, I guess I have to call Tomi.’
I swear, the stupid in these people is so fucking thick that it just sits there and burns.
Joe Biden’s autopen could have done a better job filling in for Hannity than Tomi Lahren.
tuesday: hatred and bigotry, for fun and profit
imagine being so repellent that you bounce from one cable channel to another, until you’ve been fired so many times that the only remaining way you can get your unpleasant face on the air is to ahem transition to being a podcaster.
if you’re black-Santa-hating oddity Megyn Kelly, you don’t have to imagine. it’s your entire life’s story.
let’s watch as Megyn waves away Dear Leader’s lifetime of degenerate behavior and instead cranks the transphobia dial way past eleven.
“I don’t give a shit about Trump getting handsy with somebody 20 years ago ... I want someone who will keep boys out of my daughter’s sports, which he has.”
oh, is that what we’re calling twenty-eight credible accusations of sexual assault — and one adjudication of rape? ‘getting handsy’?
fuck all the way off, Megyn.
oh, and this ‘keep boys out of my daughter’s sports’ hysteria of Megyn’s? it’s all an act. it’s a cynical cash grab.
let’s take a walk down memory lane. some years back, Kelly tried and failed to host an Oprah-style daytime talk show. here’s what she had to say about trans students back then.
“the people with me on stage right now are all transgender kids who want others to know it’s possible to transition socially with love and support and acceptance within a family and a community.”
gee, look at that.
it’s exact same deal with America’s self-appointed bathroom panty inspector.
back before Nancy Mace spent her days standing guard over the restrooms in the halls of Congress, she branded herself a trans ally.
that’s right, all this trans-hating is a put-on. it’s all for show. attention-addicted shit-kazoos like Mace and Kelly just pretend to hold whatever positions will get them the most airtime.
is transphobia what’s getting the rube to tune in, or vote for you? well fine, then, Nance and Megyn are only too happy to play along.
it’s so easy to be the worst person in the world. all you need are no scruples.
wednesday: should auld acquaintance be— what the fuck?
if you were quote-unquote lucky enough to attend Donny’s New Year’s Eve party at his tacky Florida golf motel, you got treated to the sight of this nightmare fuel.
oh yeah, some goofball painted a portrait of a very white, very blue-eyed Jesus right on the stage of the golf motel.
seriously, what in the actual fuck?
just wait — it gets dumbfuckier. the painting was then auctioned off for three million dollars, and the MAGAverse absolutely lost their minds.
it’s all so spectacularly stupid. I am speechless. I am without speech.
let’s just move along.
thursday: wut on where?
on Thursday, some fucking idiot declared that his New Year’s resolution was ‘Peace on Earth.’
everyone’s irony detector should be shrieking right now, because…
friday: the further adventures of some fucking idiot
some fucking idiot’s Friday started in the wee hours of the morning, when at 2:58am he declared that America was ‘locked and loaded’ and ready to go to war with Iran — and because the fucking idiot is a fucking idiot, he misspelled “shoots.”
gee, an illiterate threat to bomb the shit out of Iran doesn’t sound very peace-on-earthy, does it? I promise you, it gets worse. so much worse.
but first, the fucking idiot felt the need to brag about having once again successfully pointed at a drawing of a camel.
pro tip: if doctors keep having you take cognitive assessment tests over and over, you’re not in ‘perfect health.’ something is very wrong with your brain.
then, while on his way to cheat at golf, the fucking idiot went shopping for marble for his gaudy Epstein Dance Hall.
the fucking idiot then posted a photo that allegedly shows a bald eagle that had supposedly been windmilled to death. how could we let something like this happen in America? to our national bird, no less!
fact check: this is actually a fifteen-year-old photo of a red kite in Spain.
the fucking idiot then posted this abomination.
that’s the Eisenhower Executive Office Building. it’s next door the White House. this is what it currently looks like.
but if the fucking idiot gets his way, the whole damned building is going to be painted bright white — including the roof. why? who even knows why? it’s because the fucking idiot is a fucking idiot, that’s my best guess.
the fucking idiot even took time out of his busy schedule to do a little pot-kettle-blacking.
but all that was just table-setting for the main event.
at four o’clock in the morning — twenty five hours after threatening Iran — the fucking idiot announced that he had bombed Venezuela, kidnapped President Maduro and his wife, and flown them out of the country, to stand trial here in America.
what the shit? just like that, we’re at war with Venezuela? WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO PEACE ON EARTH?
spoiler alert — none of what the fucking idiot just perpetrated in Venezuela was legal. none. of. it. it’s a war for oil, is what it is — and every military expert knows that it’s going to be a fucking disaster.
let me just put this here, for no particular reason at all.
maybe FIFA would like to gin up a Warmongering Old Fuckface Prize.
and because all this illegal fuckery happened in the middle of the night, with the fucking idiot in seclusion at his Florida golf motel, not one reporter was around to ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you?’
how fucking idiotic is that?
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this — but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
do you have a nomination for This Week in Stupid? email me at jefftiedrich@gmail.com. thanks!
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
950 / 1039
I know, all anyone's going to want to comment on is Venezuela. go for it. you have my blessing
And now the deeply stupid, corrupt, and criminal acts ... with Jeff's blessing ...
I am so filled with absolute disgust. Beyond the illegality, unconstitutionality, corruption, and cruelty of this Administration -the continuing support of every GOP Member of Congress makes them complicit in what is now a rogue band of international criminals.
I often say any meaningful attempt at democracy requires an educated, informed, and engaged society. It also cannot withstand the extreme concentration of wealth which has destroyed institutional guardrails, consolidated media, diminished affordable higher education, and continues to erode societal protections and justice.