this week in stupid: August 5 edition
Alina makes the rounds, Elon's X comes down, and so much more ...
as another stupid week comes to a close here in America, let’s look back at some of the highlights.
sunday: Alina Habba apparently has no idea what “ethical” means
Alina Habba has been all over the news this week — probably because she’s the only member of Donald Trump’s ace team of traffic court lawyers willing to show her face in public.
Alina went on Fox News last Sunday to defend her boss, and holy shit did she lay it on thick.
“Donald Trump is the most ethical American I know.”
it’s true! Donald Trump is so ethical that he had Alina file a frivolous lawsuit that was so without merit that an exasperated judge slapped her with sanctions and fined her a million dollars.
monday: x marks the narcissistic manbaby
imagine being this proud of being this clueless.
Elon Musk was so fucking impressed with himself for rebranding twitter as X, that he just had to share his glee with the whole world — or at least inflict it on the residents of downtown San Francisco. and so he had a ginormous X placed on the roof of Not-Twitter Headquarters. but when you’re ThE wOrLd’S mOsT aNnOyInG gEnIus, just putting a sign on your roof isn’t enough — and so Elon turned it into a big fucking strobe light that lit up the sky and flashed “X” all night long.
fortunately for his sleep-deprived neighbors, Elon was arrogant enough to not bother with getting the proper permits, and so the city made him take it down.
it’s one of the few Elon stories with a happy ending.
tuesday: Nick Fuentes can’t get laid
Nick Fuentes is a lot of things. he’s a white supremacist, he’s an antisemite, he’s a Holocaust denier. but you know what Nick Fuentes isn’t?
gay.
and how does Nick Fuentes retain his not-gay status? by never having sex. because having sex turns you gay.
which is exactly the kind of bullshit you’d spew if you wanted to hide the fact that no human being is willing to have sex with you.
your secret is safe with us, Nick.
wednesday: a tale of two brain cells
who wants to tell her?
thuursday: what the—
Thursday was Trump Arraignment Day and every fucking lunatic came out of the woodwork so show support for their criminal hero.
this fellow was wandering around in front of the courthouse, apparently waiting for the mothership to land and take him back his home planet.
friday: hiI’mCaseyDeSantisandI’mheretotellyouallaboutmyhusband
our guy from Thursday is clearly not taking his meds. but do you know who is?
Casey DeSantis. in fact, whatever she’s on, she’s taking way too much of it.
here she is in Iowa, assuring the crowd that she could “go on for hours” about her never-going-to-be-president husband — and she then proceeds to cram an hour’s worth of babble into a breathless minute and forty-five seconds.
holy shit, motormouth, slow the fuck down. and maybe lay off the coffee, or the adderall, or whatever it is that has you so hopped up.
the coup de grace is how totally fucking bored her audience is. watch them as they try to stay awake.
DeSantismentum, can’t you feel it?
saturday: ?
hey, it’s still morning as I sit here writing this. but give it time, I guarantee you that some dipshit wingnut is going to do something stupid before the day is over. you can set your watch to it.
have a non-stupid weekend, everyone.
Thank you, Jeff.
Always delightful in your outrage
In case you missed it, I thought you might like this little tidbit from Timothy Snyder. (I think Yale history professor).
“That Trump will be tried for his coup attempt is not a violation of his rights. It is a fulfillment of his rights. It is the grace of the American republic. In other systems, when your coup attempt fails, what follows is not a trial.”
Again and again, proving Zappa’s belief that “Politics is the entertainment division of the military industrial complex.”