‘this is the Lewinsky Room’ — and other ordinary tales of complete batshit from Preznit Fuckwit

Donny Convict is fucking nuts

hey, did you know that behind closed doors, Dear Leader is a total fucking embarrassment?

did you know that Donny tries to get the spouses of world leaders to sell MAGA merch?

did you know that when texting Donny, NATO heads of state deliberately try to sound as stupid as he is?

did you know that Dear Leader once angrily flung a tablet across the Oval Bordello?

gather ’round, folks. today’s tale is a doozie.

the Wall Street Journal published a long piece a few days ago. it’s got a pretty boring headline.

but in the report is one jaw-dropping anecdote after another that demonstrate just how much Preznit Fuckwit is wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling batshit cuckoopants — no if, ands or buts about it.

here’s a perfectly normal thing our perfectly normal president did when newly-elected German Chancellor Friedrich Merz visited the Oval Bordello.

During their chat, Trump told Merz he had something to show him, and walked the chancellor of Germany into a small study off the Oval Office. It was, Trump announced, “the Lewinsky room” and he had filled it with MAGA memorabilia, including red hats and boxes of Florsheim dress shoes. “Just grab whatever you want,” a congenial Trump told his German guests, adding that their wives could sell the swag for “thousands of dollars.”

we knew Donny was crass, but holy shit.

what in the actual fuck? who does this? what other world leader keeps a roomful of merch within arm’s reach, and pushes it on visiting dignitaries? does Canada’s Mark Carney do this? do you think he keeps a stash of Make Maple Syrup Great Again hats handy?

‘here, your wives can sell these.’

pipe down, Donny. not everyone sees everything as an opportunity to grift. that’s a you thing.

and when did Florsheim shoes become ‘MAGA swag’? so it’s not just Liddle Marco Big-Shoes and other cabinet flunkies whom Donny is forcing footwear upon — it’s heads of state, too? should we be checking Chancellor Merz’s feet for proper snugitude?

when I read this, my immediate thought was that there needs to be some variant of my What The Fuck Is Wrong With You Challenge™ that extends to world leaders.

like, the first head of a nation to stand up and ask ‘what the fuck is wrong with you’ gets, I don’t know, a United Nations Award of Utmost Excellence or something. can we get the good people at Four Seasons Total Landscaping to work on this?

* * *

here’s another perfectly normal tale of ordinary ordinariness.

a some point, NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte discovered that he could curry favor with Donny by pretending to be as stupid as Donny is.

When texting Trump, Rutte would echo the president’s own syntax and hyperbole, keeping his messages congratulatory, with staccato sentences. He immersed himself in the role so thoroughly some heads of government who worked with him began describing him as an actor who never broke character.

eventually, everyone wanted a piece of this action.

Soon, European leaders were following his lead. Finland’s president and Norway’s prime minister started workshopping their text messages to Trump, talking about which words they should render in capital letters.

oh my god, they’re mocking Donny right to his fluorescent tangerine face, and he’s too fucking dumb to realize it.

you know, when Gavin Newsom started aping Donny’s dumbfuck syntax last August, the MAGAverse shit a brick.

now we’re learning that NATO is doing the same thing (though obviously not as antagonistically), and Dear Leader is too dim to catch on.

how humiliating.

* * *

now here’s a super fun thing that happened in the Oval Bordello when France’s Emmanuel Macron stopped by to shoot the shit.

The two spent hours together, and the U.S. president seemed open to his ideas. They used a tablet to dial into a video call led by Justin Trudeau. But as the Canadian prime minister was talking, Trump, frustrated with a technical issue that prevented him from chiming in, lobbed the device over the Resolute Desk and onto the floor, an official present said.

perfectly normal stuff. who among us hasn’t sent a recalcitrant device sailing across the room?

I’ll bet you never thought you needed to ask yourself, ‘is your president as technically proficient as a monkey?’

hey, for no particular reason at all, let’s just put this photo of Joe Biden and Barack HUSSEIN Obama having no problem using a device right here.

* * *

now here’s a heartwarming story of Donnyfuckery that isn’t from the Wall Street Journal’s reporting. this one comes from People magazine.

apparently, Donny is so obsessed with the condition of his beloved Epstein Reflecting Pool that it doesn’t matter what time of day (or night) it is — he has to know right now how it’s doing.

“I’d say in the last week, the earliest call I’ve had is 8:00 a.m., and the latest call is 11:45 p.m.,” Burgum said during a recent sitdown with Politico’s Jonathan Martin.

Of Trump’s calls, Burgum recounted with a laugh, “He starts [with], ‘Oh, I didn’t wake you up, did I?’”

Donny really is the boss from hell, isn’t he? what’s so attractive about being Interior Secretary that keeps Doug Burgum from going ‘fuck your reflecting pool, it’s nearly midnight, you gibbering idiot. I quit’?

this is pure, unadulterated dementia at work, folks. no filters, awake and sundowning all hours of the day and night, weird fixations on shit that doesn’t matter.

do you think Donny calls up Little Marco Big-Shoes at midnight to ask him how his Florsheims fit?

I’m hoping he does.

* * *

let’s circle back to the Journal’s report.

apparently, talking to Donny is just like talking to a child.

Often, the Europeans played Trump’s own terms back to him: When the president echoed Vladimir Putin’s dislike of a ceasefire in Ukraine, they started describing their peace plan, which amounted to a ceasefire, as “stop the killing.” Trump lectured top EU official Ursula von der Leyen for advocating sanctions on Russia, so she started referring to economic pressure as tariffs.

come on, Donny — open the hangar, here come the tariffs.

heads of state regard each other as peers. they see Donny, however, as an unpredictable toddler who needs to be managed.

and the thing is, they’re not wrong.

this is what America inflicted on the world when it allowed a racist game show host in steep cognitive collapse to worm his way back into power.

it’s as if we said ‘come on everyone, why should America have all the fun? the whole planet should live in the shittiest timeline possible.’

lucky all of us.

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everything totally fucking sucks right now, so let’s palate cleanse and watch New York City’s Communist Dictator lose while playing a video game.

Mayor Mamdani: “noooooo… I didn’t know it was already done. this is absurd. we gotta review this. I was lulled into a sense of an extra lap.”

he’s just so charming and likeable. he’s everything Donny isn’t. no wonder MAGA hates his guts. boo fucking hoo, cultists.

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and just like that, it’s Friday. we made it through the week in once piece, so let’s get out of here with some Daily Claudia.

here’s Ms. Spouse in the back yard on May 27, 2013.

and here she is at a restaurant at Lake Mahopac that has gone through many names over the years, but it was called Blu when we were there on April 27, 2018.

have a great Friday, everyone. don’t hurl any devices across the room. those things cost money.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.