shove your thoughts and prayers

we’ve been thinking and praying since Columbine — and it hasn’t done shit

here’s what we know so far:

a 23-year-old obtained multiple weapons of mass death, just as our founders intended, took those weapons to the Annunciation Catholic School in Minneapolis, Minnesota, just as our founders intended, opened fire on teachers and students, just as our founders intended, firing one hundred and sixteen rounds in a matter of seconds, just as our founders intended, killing two and wounding eighteen, just as our founders intended. she then killed herself, just as our founders intended.

for fuck’s sake, we couldn’t even get through the first week of the new school year without some sicko with a grudge, an AR-15, and a death wish ending the life of two children.

and — oh look! — all the worst fucking people in the world are now offering us their cheap thoughts and useless prayers.

people such as this ginormous pantload.

“Please join me in praying for the victims of the horrific evil that took place at Annunciation Catholic Church in Minneapolis this morning.”

please join me in cordially inviting Rep. Andy Ogles to fuck all the way off — because lest we forget, this is how Rep. Ogles commemorates the birth of his savior: by teaching his children that it’s awesome to fetishize weapons of mass death.

this let’s-perpetuate-the-worship-of-guns shit isn’t helping.

Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey, could you please explain to Rep Ogles why thinking and praying is, in this instance, particularly galling?

“and don’t just say, this is about thoughts and prayers right now. these kids were literally praying. it was the first week of school. they were in a church.”

wrap your mind around that: these children were gunned down while they were praying in a church. so I’m asking: could the thoughts-and-prayers crowd at least have the decency to sit this one out?

apparently, the answer is no.

it seems that Karoline Leavitt isn’t just Donny Convict’s truth-averse press secretary. she’s also America’s self-appointed religious scold — and she’s hella incensed that anyone would dare criticize her god-given right to think and pray.

“I saw the comments of Ms. Psaki and frankly I think they're incredibly insensitive and disrespectful to the tens of millions of Americans of faith across this country who believe in the power of prayer, who believe that prayer works.”

look, Karoline, no one is saying that you’re not allowed to think and pray. do whatever you want. process grief in whichever way you need to. America remains, despite the best efforts of Preznit Cankles McFascist, a mostly-free country. for now.

what we’re asking is that you not turn ‘thoughts and prayers’ into some public performative ritual, where it’s used as a dodge to wallpaper over the fact that Republicans haven’t ever done one fucking thing to end all this slaughter.

we’ve been thinking and praying since Columbine, 26 years ago — and free clue: all those thoughts and prayers haven’t done shit.

also, Karoline — is this you?

you’re not helping.

here’s someone else who can fuck off: Fox News’ Plankhead of the Airwaves.

“these are preventable. the first thing you should do, every school in the country should have a metal detector. you have to control the entry of kids and the perimeter around every school. the left’s rush to blame guns for every tragedy, it’s sad and pathetic.”

look, Sean Hannity’s job is to say the stupidest shit imaginable. we’ll give him that. but ranting about metal detectors just makes Hannity a special kind of stupid.

a metal dectector at the door of the church where these kids got shot would have done fuck-all, because the shooter was standing outside and firing through the windows.

but this is what passes for your average Republican’s solution to America’s kids-used-for-target-practice problem: let’s turn schools (and I guess now churches, too) into maximum-security prisons. let’s harden the fuck out of them.

let’s replace every door of every school with thick reinforced steel, and make sure they’re locked every minute of the day. let’s install metal detectors, and post armed guards every fifty feet. let’s arm teachers to the teeth.

except none of that hardening shit works when the shooter is standing outside with an AR-15, firing hundreds of rounds through the fucking windows. duh. so what’s your solution, Plankhead? board up all the windows? in a church?

the actual solution is staring us all in the face: it’s the guns. ban the fucking assault weapons.

no civilian needs a weapon of mass death.

and please, don’t even get me started on Bobby Brainworms. it’s too early in the morning for my head to be exploding.

this whale-head-chainsawing lunatic doesn’t even understand how germs work, but he’s going to square-peg-round-hole his own special solution to America’s gun problem: let’s ban ALL the drugs.

“we’re launching studies on the potential contribution of some of the SSRI drugs and some of the other psychiatric drugs that might be contributing to violence.”

this fucking guy. now he want to ban anti-depressants — because he has a hunch they lead to violence. oh joy, Mr. Make Polio Great Again has a hunch.

it’s really weird how anti-depressants are regularly prescribed in every country on the planet, but only in America does it result in a gun problem. what a crazy coincidence.

it cannot be understated how completely crazypants Bobby Brainworms is. I want to highlight a video shot by journalist Sandi Bachom, of an RFK Jr. anti-vaccine rally, back on January 23, 2022. it’s a huge fucktangle of holy shit.

“in five years we’re going to see four hundred and fifteen thousand low-orbit satellites. Bill Gates has his 65,000 satellites alone. he’ll be able to look at every square inch of the planet 24 hours a day. they’re putting in 5G, to harvest our data and control our behavior. digital currency will allow them to punish us from a distance and cut off our food supply. the minute they hand you that vaccine, fast forward. every right that you have is transformed into a privilege contingent on your obedience to arbitrary government dictates.”

this is the insane freak currently dismantling our country’s ability to prevent the return of diseases that we eradicated decades ago. the one ranting and raving about Bill Gates and 5G chips.

and now he’s going to ban anti-depressants — because guns.

fuck every Republican — four of whom are medical doctors — who voted to confirm this hallucinating conspiracy loon.

shame on you all.

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here’s a thing I wrote on March 30, 2023, the day after a school shooting in Nashville — but the date and the location don’t matter. the words below can be applied to any school shooting at any time and any place in America.

Republicans don't give a fuck about children

Republicans were so busy protecting children from learning that Rosa Parks was black that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.

Republicans were so busy protecting children from seeing that Michelangelo’s David has a penis that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.

Republicans were so busy protecting children from finding out that men can love men and women can love women that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.

Republicans were so busy protecting children from being read to by grownups wearing costumes that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.

Republicans were so busy protecting children from eating a subsidized school lunch that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.

Republicans were so busy protecting children from reading that Roberto Clemente experienced discrimination that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.

Republicans were so busy protecting children from discovering why Anne Frank had to hide that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.

Republicans were so busy protecting children from knowing how their own bodies work that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.

Republicans were so busy protecting children from having access to healthcare that they forgot to protect them from being murdered in their classrooms.

oopsies!

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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