shocker! convicted felon gets caught cheating at golf — again
plus: a round-up of the stupid shit Republicans said on TV
are you sitting down right now? I’m afraid I have some distressing news to share. ready? here we go:
the cheating cheater who cheated to get into college and cheated to get out of Vietnam and cheated on his wives and cheated on his taxes and cheated students at his scam university and cheated donors to his fake charity just got caught cheating at golf for the second weekend in a row.
I know, right? how did we Nazi this coming?
we’re going to get back to the golftastic exploits of Fuckley McCheater, I promise. but first, let’s document some of the atrocities that took place on the Sunday shows.
first up, here’s White House Energy Vampire Colin Robinson Kevin Hassett.
Colin Kevin slithered his way onto Meet The Press to defend the shitcanning of Erika McEntarfer, the Commissioner of Labor Statistics who was bounced from her job for the high crime of using math to hurt Dear Leader’s fee-fees.
Kristen Welker: “just to be very clear, do you have — does the administration have — evidence that it was rigged, as the president said, and will you be presenting that to the American public?”
Kevin Hassett: “there— well, the evidence is that there have been a bunch of revisions that could appear to—”
Welker: “hard evidence?”
Hassett: “the revisions are hard evidence.”
fact check: shut your smirking pie-hole, Kevin.
that’s such utter bullshit. job numbers have been revised on a monthly basis since forever. the first numbers to be reported are always preliminary. as new data trickles in, numbers are revised. there’s nothing sneaky or underhanded about it.
hey, you want to be bored to death? here’s the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ own explanation of how they calculate their revisions.
CES estimates are considered preliminary when first published each month because not all respondents report their payroll data by the initial release of employment, hours, and earnings. BLS continues to collect payroll data and revises estimates twice before the annual benchmark update (see benchmark revisions section below). For a given month, BLS publishes second preliminary estimates 1 month after the initial release and final sample-based estimates 2 months after the initial release.
Hassett knows this. he’s just being a condescending dick.
every president has had to deal with jobs data that evolves over time. this was never a problem until the president was a thin-skinned man-baby who shits himself if he hears bad news.
but hang on — did you notice that Kristen Welker actually invited Hassett into the Meet the Press studio?
she didn’t make him stand on the White House lawn, as every other Sunday host does.
bold move by Welker — because Hassett is indeed an energy vampire, and that’s the thing about vampires: you have to invite them in. don’t ask me what that’s all about, I don’t make the rules.
pro tip for Sunday show producers: just because Donny appoints goniffs and scammers like Dr. Oz to important cabinet positions doesn’t mean you have to dignify such assclownery by having them on your shows.
seriously, what the fuck does Dr. Oz — a fake diet-pill-pushing flim-flam man — know about prescription drug prices?
Margaret Brennan: “the president put this 25% tariff on India. big drug producer. the president’s trade deal with the EU puts a 15% tariff on imported medicines. how do you stop the drugmakers from passing along those costs to people on Medicare and Medicaid?”
Dr. Oz: “well the president’s letter on Thursday for most favored nation pricing is a good example of that … the president’s saying, equalize it out. let’s use a model that’s worked for external threats. that’s what NATO did. everyone has to pay a little more, we’ll pay extra, too — but we won’t pay a lot more than anybody else. so they actually have to raise their pri— to cut contributions, in this case for internal threats, which is illness. we’ll pay a little less than America, that way more Americans can afford these medications.”
I’m sorry, but what the actual fuck was that?
the question was about tariffs. the answer was some incoherent gibberish about how everyone will have to pay a little more, including us. ‘we’ll pay extra, too,’ were Oz’s exact words. how does paying extra make drugs more affordable?
I’ll answer Margaret Brennan’s question. here’s how you prevent drug companies from passing along the cost of tariffs: get rid of the tariffs. they’re unnecessary. TACO that shit the fuck out of here.
seriously, Oz is so far out of his depth. he has no idea what he’s talking about, and all he can do is try to bullshit his way through it. maybe that sort of bluffoonery works when you’re pushing fake diet pills to the rubes.
Dr. Oz is a cheap grifter. he has no business overseeing Medicare and Medicaid — and the Sunday shows shouldn’t dignify this travesty by granting him opportunites to fling his feces on the airwaves.
anyway, hasn’t Dr. Oz heard? the issue of drug prices is solved. Dear Leader has already lowered them by a millionty-thousand percent. it’s true! here’s Donny on the tarmac last evening, coming from from his weekend spent cheating at golf at his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery.
“one of the things we’re going to be talking about pretty soon are the uhhh tremendous drop in drug prices. you know, we’ve cut drug prices by twelve hundred, thirteen hundred, fourteen hundred, fifteen hundred percent. I don’t mean fifty percent. I mean fourteen, fifteen hundred percent.”
oh dear, President Yap Yap is sundowning again.
we talked about this at length yesterday, how Demented Donny’s nonsensical insistence that he’s going to cut drug prices by “fifteen hundred percent” is a mathematical impossibility.
if you reduce the price of something by one hundred percent, you’ve made it free. you cannot reduce the price of anything by a number larger than one hundred percent, unless you’re suggesting that the vendor pay the customer to take the product off their hands.
but did you notice in the clip above, Donny is no longer talking about how he’s going to lower drug prices. now, he’s already done it — “you know, we’ve cut drug prices.” magically, and overnight. you’re welcome.
America’s Mad King has completely broken with reality and can no longer distinguish between fact and fantasy. words and numbers have completely lost their meaning.
how fucking amazing would it be if some brave reporter stood up and said, ‘Mister President, I have a prescription that costs $100. how much will that be after you lower it by fifteen hundred percent?’
I would pay good money to watch Donny try to calculate the result in his big dumb pumpkin head. I don’t know what his answer to the reporter would be, but I’m sure it would include the words ‘nasty’ and ‘fake news.’
and now, onto the main event.
Cheaty McGolferpants got caught again, this time at his New Jersey ex-wife cemetery, where Donny miraculously won his eighteen millionth consecutive club championship.
Donny’s caddie takes a golf ball out of a bag and drops it on the green, after which Donny pushes the ball with his club, and then drags it back towards him.
this is a maneuver known as cheating your fucking ass off.
let’s gif that shit.
every cultist on social media was all SHUT UP COMMIE, DEAR LEADER DID NOTHING WRONG.
me, I don’t know shit about golf. but I know someone who does: Rick Reilly.
Rick’s a sportswriter, and the author of the book Commander in Cheat. you’ll never guess what it’s about.
here’s what Rick has to say.
So you know, it’s NEVER legal for your caddy to drop a ball. YOU can drop one, but never on a green. And since this was a full-score event, its not legal for Trump to drag the ball into the hole. No, no, never. Our president is a f*cking golf cheat.
our president is indeed a fucking golf cheat.
he cheats at golf just like he cheated to get into college and cheated to get out of Vietnam and cheated on his wives and cheated on his taxes and cheated students at his scam university and cheated donors to his fake charity.
I will tell you this, however: should Dear Leader successfully lower the price of prescription drugs by fifteen hundred percent, I will forever shut the fuck up about him cheating at golf.
that’s a promise.
here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on Blue Sky at this link.
this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:
practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.
to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.
we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.
798 / 887
I chose not to write about Texas. I think what the Democrats did is admirable, but will ultimately fail — because they'll have to return to Texas eventually. I think all they did was delay the inevitable.
I will, however, be happy to be wrong about this.
but I think the real solution is to fight fire with fire, and for Democrat governors to gerrymander their own states to the point where elected Republicans cease to exist.
programming note: Ms. Spouse would like it to be known that she thinks I spent too much time in this post talking about golf