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RBS's avatar

Trump is a buttstain on the underwear of humanity.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

OK. Thats brilliant, RBS. 👏👏👏👏

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RBS's avatar

Thank you so much, Susan!

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Pam Humphrey's avatar

Hell yeah it is. I can’t stop giggling.

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DJ Headthrob's avatar

More like an anal fissure on the soiled buttocks of humanity.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL!!!

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂

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Megan Ross's avatar

I call TRump the Human Skidmark.

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Charles Austin's avatar

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂

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Diane Rose Halstead's avatar

Happy 1,000! I may have missed the first few, but I vow to read every single post going forward. It’s my American duty. And my daily joy.

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Margaret's avatar

Ditto, Uncle Jeff. We love you.

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Cheri Collins's avatar

Same here. I used to come across your posts on other platforms, with complete delight, years ago.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Honestly, I wish I had thought of that. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

With all the creativity nestled in your amygdala Susan, I’m patiently waiting!!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh...I dunno...thats tough to beat! 😂😂

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HI2thDoc's avatar

"A smudge of excrement on a tissue, surging out to sea." --Miles in Sideways, saying it was a Bukowski quote

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Love Charles, nicely executed Doc!

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Ole Anderson's avatar

Jeff has been calling him the ‘orange shitstain’ since he started his column.

I’m sticking with the original.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

Yep, you’re right Ole!

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Lisa59's avatar

Puss gut is rotting before our eyes. I think he enjoys his oozing shit filled diaper the size of a small tent. It warms his fat ass as he squirms in it on his throne. Pigs are cleaner. Irrelevance is coming.

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Tad Huckabee's avatar

Donnie skid mark!

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Victoria Wilson's avatar

A fucking men!

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Irascible Ink's avatar

Holy shit. 😂

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Ed's avatar

That’s not fair. Buttstains and underwear aren’t lying, corrupt murderers.

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

I’m with you Lisa!

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Tess's avatar

Your 1,000th post in 3 years…because YOU are the BEST—That’s why!! Thanks for having us! Another great post today with good news in the future it looks like!!!

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Grace Kennedy's avatar

That means approximately 4000+ belly laughs for me in that time. Well done!

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Patrick Daniels aka Cromulent1's avatar

1000 posts is quite a milestone, thanks Jeff!

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Rusalka's avatar

Yes, indeed Jeff is the best! I’ve followed him all that time. Now from the UK where I have moved to be with only child. Congrats Jeff 👏👏 We love the work you do.

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Geoff Boyarsky's avatar

Congratulations Jeff! We read you aloud over breakfast every morning, despite the risk of oatmeal splatter. Also, we are saving space on our bumper for the KELLY IN ‘28 bumper sticker.

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Andy Nilssen's avatar

Jeff has turned into my required lunchtime brain reset reading. Way-with-words, research, perspectives, humor - yep, up there with Mary Cox R in my daily worst-timeline-ever survival routine.

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Ed's avatar

Jeff for Sec State of Classic American Humour

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Clyde Kaplan's avatar

I’m on the west coast. My Jeff Tiedrich email comes in at about 8:00am. For the last 1000 days, my day doesn’t start until I read your email. I somehow start everyday with a combination of smiling and being pissed off. Thanks for pulling off that magic trick.

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Anne Murray's avatar

Here in Scotland it comes in around 4pm - nice cup of tea and read the latest Jeff post.

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Dotty Hopkins's avatar

Mine too. I'm in Portugal. Don't go a day without Jeff.

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PrincessKrapotkin's avatar

Me too, Clyde. I have had my first cup of coffee and then settle in with the second cup and enjoy the ride.

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Douglas Paul Truhlar's avatar

You folks need to ‘throw your heads back when you laugh’, it’s better than spraying coffee all over.

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Christine Zepka's avatar

That’s funny 😆

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Mary de Ridder's avatar

I am in Germany - Jeff comes around 4.30 and I can hardly wait! Then we have our aperitif 🍸 and I enjoy the great laugh that is Jeff. It really helps my mental state. 😅🙏💪

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Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

𝕊𝕒𝕞𝕖, ℂ𝕝𝕪𝕕𝕖!

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R Bobby 🇨🇦❤️'s avatar

Same here, on Vancouver Island, B.C. My day starts with a cup of hot black coffee and Jeff Tiedrich, followed by Heather Cox Richardson, Ron Filipkowski, and Charlie Angus. I need the humour before I can manage the day’s shitshow.

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Gina's avatar

ditto

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Kay-El's avatar

1. My stinky patoot is furiously trying to figure out who among the MAGA party will retire midterm. It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

2. National disgrace Kegsbreath should recall himself to active duty and begin court martial proceedings. That would be justice.

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Leu2500's avatar

If by some miracle the House flips midterm, expect Trump’s sh!tweasels to head for the exits.

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Dave Drell's avatar

They are starting to jump off the sinking ship right now- great to see that the knuckleheads in the WH don’t realize that they are stabbing their own selves in the back and that Donny Dachau doesn’t know how to do anything to right the ship except yell& insult everyone.

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HI2thDoc's avatar

As it looks increasingly like they will get stomped in the midterms, yes, the rats will leave the sinking and stinking ship

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂 Yup. Theres blood in the water.

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Keith's avatar

WHAT? our COMMANDER of WAR? a national disgrace of inept magnitude! BAD ATTITUDE?

NOPE ... BAD RAISING!

whatzhisname is only another delusional week-end warrior gone ballistically wrong!

TOO MUCH STARCH in his tighty-whities!

but he and cadet bone-spurs are a true match made in heaven ...

NOT my heaven THEIR HEAVEN! a more-bread-than-shit kinda life when reality squats!

TOO MANY OF MY FRIENDS MY COMRADS IN ARMS are forever chiseled in my generation's UGLY MEMORIAL WALL! always another fuk'in wall ...

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Christine Zepka's avatar

😔

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Charles Austin's avatar

I respond "Indeed" to both points.😂

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Steve in SoCal's avatar

It will likely be the ones in swing districts who will prolly lose anyway

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Joyce's avatar

A MS NOW report just now said that most of those planning an abrupt retirement are "serious" representatives who are sick of the antics of the monkey cage in which they work--or, rather, can't work, because nothing gets done and the House is nothing but chaos.

May it be so.

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Kay-El's avatar

👏🏼👏🏼

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Juli's avatar

Maybe we should make bingo cards!!

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Kay-El's avatar

That would be one huge bingo card!

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Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻🖖🏻

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Cheri Collins's avatar

Particularly #2!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

HURRAY for ONE THOUSAND! You are indeed the man!

Now, please let me ask...what is a "particularly exercised senior House Republican"?? 😂

I'm so looking forward to Kelly chewing up that drunken pussy Pete... its gonna be good.

And to think...just imagine...Jeffries becomes the House Speaker before Christmas.

I know, I know.... but still. Maybe I'll come back to America after all. It's gettin' realz!

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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

I'm trying not to get too giddy, but Punchbowl isn't just a bunch of randos spewing nonsense

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Susan Niemann's avatar

The staggering incompetence is finally catching up. YES!!!!

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Dave Drell's avatar

10 months of this abuse & slop

thrust on the Ahmerican people- and they are saying STOP! (except for the Maga diehards)

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Dotty Hopkins's avatar

It's so encouraging, and isn't that nice after 10 months of murders and mayhem.

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Christine Zepka's avatar

I am too jaded at this point. I WANT to be positive, but my spirit has been broken 😠 by this bs.

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Charles Austin's avatar

Your ass better come back!😂😂😂 After all , you wouldn't want to miss Donnie drowning in his own shit storm.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Can you imagine the *parties*? When he's removed and then when he dies. There will be an extinction-level shortage of confetti. The birth rate will probably jump 9 months later.

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Dave Drell's avatar

A more loathsome prick has never walked on our land!

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Mary Hall's avatar

My plan when “it” happens is to put up Christmas lights no matter what time of year, open something bubbly, and dance in front of my MAGAt neighbor’s house.

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Bill Corbett's avatar

And some fuckwit will probably name their kid MAGA.

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SeekingReason's avatar

George, 😄😂 It will be a day, er, make that a year to celebrate!

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George in Atlanta's avatar

A holiday will be declared. The government will disavow any knowledge or support of it, but it will become a 'folk holiday', passed down from generation to generation.

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SeekingReason's avatar

The new government can make it official! 😄

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Susan Niemann's avatar

HA! The birth rate! You're likely right. I know I have a special bottle of champagne set aside!

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Outdoorluvr's avatar

I worry about removing the stupid orange tool, and what will take its place. No one is talking much about the long road to repairing our government, IF Dems can take over the reins of power.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

I don't worry about that. It will be a new conversation, and we have no idea at all how it could go. Thiel-Yarvin cabal instituting Gilead using JD as their convenient meat-robot? Sure, maybe. A bright, shiny, new Nazi regime rising and dominating with a 'smart' leader this time? Sure, maybe. A mass uprising of the moderates that decimates the parties as we knew them and remakes politics entirely, ushering in a parliamentary republic? Sure, maybe. A re-thinking of how the franchise is apportioned and citizenship defined? Maybe a mental test to be able to vote? Sure, maybe.

Point is, nobody knows what they don't know.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

I hate to be a buzzkill, because I know how much we all hate the fact that Trump is at bat. But the couch fucker is on deck. 😞

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Susan Niemann's avatar

LOL! I know, right? I'm finally, maybe, sorta, hopeful.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Yeah, but Spain has Gaudi. And Trump is just gaudy.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂

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CE's avatar

In British english “exercised” can mean concerned or worried.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Means the same in Southern. The meaning tends towards 'worked up'.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Great to know...unusual use in this particular message, but nonetheless good to know. My point remains that, to me, it was humorous, and Jeff in no way wrote it and therefore, I was not critiquing him. Thank you. ✌️

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

Yes, Susan! You want to be here for this. Front and center!

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh, you bet. It's better than must see TV! Unfortunately, at great human cost.

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Ole Anderson's avatar

‘Excised’ , nitpicker.

You could maybe give the man a little break on the occasion of his one thousandth column.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

No.... please look at the tweet from Jake Sherman again. It says "Exercised".

Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today? 🤣

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Ole Anderson's avatar

I work nights and sometimes start tweeting before resting. I apologize.

I think I’m jealous that you’re in España 🇪🇸 and I’m not, perhaps.

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Dave Drell's avatar

Good comeback Ole(after getting hammered) We still don’t know what “exercised” legislator is!

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

“Exorcised”? 👿

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Ole Anderson's avatar

I think he meant ‘excised’ which is fancy for pissed off.

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

OK grammar queen, you made your proclivity for pedantry known. (Bet you wish I’d said “pendantry” so you could correct me, too.)

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Susan Niemann's avatar

We're good. ✌️✌️💙

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Ole Anderson's avatar

I had no problem at all understanding what was meant. I guess you didn’t.

But I think everyone should refrain from any grammatical corrections.

It adds nothing and I’m sure Jeff has already picked up on any errors by himself.

Stay in Spain. Once you cut and run stay gone.

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Susan Niemann's avatar

Jeff did not write that tweet. You've missed the humor.

And I'm on vacation, sir.

Soooooo.... whatever is bothering you, let it slide, my man. 🙄

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Tess's avatar

Easy Ole—Susan is golden!

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Charles Austin's avatar

Chill,dude!

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MzNicky in East Jesus, TN's avatar

JFC man, what is your problem? Whatever it is, do not be picking on Susan, or anyone else here.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Eeeeasy there, Hoss. We'll have plenty of time later to turn on ourselves and re-pick sides. Right now, the barricades need shoring up.

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Kay-El's avatar
3hEdited

I figured they were trying to say “incensed”

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I wish they HAD said "incensed". Then we wouldn't be having this lively kerfuffle.

(Doncha love THAT word? 🤣🤣)

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Kay-El's avatar

Hoo boy, not sorry I missed that other one though glad to see amends were made

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Susan Niemann's avatar

I tried. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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Ann Anderson's avatar

Senator Mark Kelly is a class act who basically said "Pound sand, you fucking Nazis" in the nicest possible way. I sent him some $ via ActBlue. The entire Trumpian shitshow is looking like the last days of Minsky's Burlesque - worn out, sagging and irrelevant. Happy 1000th to my favorite Substacker.

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Mingo's avatar

Mark Kelly and Ruben Gallego are my state senators. I donated to their campaigns, canvassed for them and voted for them. Ruben said it best to Piss drunk Pete, "fuck you". Can't wait for the military tribunals for this corrupt and morally bankrupt regime.

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Joyce's avatar

During the January 6th insurrection, Gallego helped fellow House Representatives with putting on protective equipment; when the reps were told to 'get down,' he shielded another rep with his body. What you do when you have no idea you're on camera reveals everything about you.

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Ann Anderson's avatar

Yay, you!

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Lolly Schenck's avatar

Happy 1000! Jeff, my life is so much better since I was introduced to your substack. Love it, love you, and have a happy Thanksgiving! You’re the best.

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

What an optimistic post today! As Jeff likes to say, “Shoot that shit right into my veins!” And happy 1,000th, Jeff! I’ll be here for the next 1K and beyond.

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Annabelle's avatar

The ONLY thing I want is this entire cluster-fuck of an administration to simply disafuckinpear. That's it, that's all.

Thank you, Jeff! Fantastic as always

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Couldn't disagree more. I want to see it die, writhing in the street, like a dog. I want to see a surge of people vehemently denying that they ever had anything to do with the regime, or even voted MAGA. I want a loud, lurid show of their humiliation and abuse. I want to see MAGA pastors turned out and unemployed by their congregations for their betrayal of Jesus. I want their exit to be at least as flashy as their entrance, we want people to remember.

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Dave Drell's avatar

I just wanna see the end of Republitard majority- oust them all and get this country back on track m, and held in high esteem by all foreign nations again.

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Outdoorluvr's avatar

I do not want to see any dogs writhing in the street, but I'd be fine with cockroaches and fire ants!

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Agreed. An unfortunate metaphor.

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Joe Witkowski's avatar

Please exempt dog metaphors. Kristi Noem is among the writhing demon spawn dying in the street. She’ll try and take dogs to hell with her.

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Annabelle's avatar

Very well-said, George!! Sounds good to me!!

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Lynn Van Haren's avatar

Into prison

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Lesley Mattos's avatar

I look forward to your posts each and every morning! Thank you so much for writing them!!!

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Leu2500's avatar

Want to speed up Rs losing the House? There’s special election for TN-07 (includes Nashville) on 12/2.

Aftyn Behn is the Dem. She’s easily out raised the R. national Republicans have had to pour money into it. National Dems just added some money to counter.

It’s a long shot. But the R won it by 22. Dems have been out performing by 15. & it’s a special between Thanksgiving & Xmas. Turnout makes the difference in specials & this is a busy time. Which party’s voters are more motivated right now? If you’ve got some couch change or time for a phone shift, it might help.

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Dave Drell's avatar

My donations no longer go to colleges; NRDC; or politicians!

They go to FOOD SHELTERS- desperately needed across this country - Please everyone - donate to foo banks and others that serve the unfortunate.

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Derek Smith's avatar

I donated the check I got from NY Gov. Hochul last week to Feeding Westchester.

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Pam Humphrey's avatar

Signed up to make a monthly donation just last month. It’s easy and so needed. Makes you feel good, too.

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Eric Smith's avatar

The Soap Opera of this train wreck of an Administration is demanding that we make popcorn for our viewing their implosion. Unfortunately, the fuckwits in charge have caused the price of popcorn to rise significantly.

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George in Atlanta's avatar

Word has it that the Strategic Popcorn Reserve under Cheyenne Mountain is depleting at an alarming rate.

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P123Sunny's avatar

I thought the pandemic decimated that awhile back😛⁉️

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Eric Smith's avatar

HA!

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Pam Humphrey's avatar

Oh, hell!

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Stephanie Lajeskie's avatar

If you have a Costco membership, it’s not too bad. Buy one big box and it should last you through this entire show.

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Eric Smith's avatar

Even through the eventual “truth and reconciliation” investigation into the Trump’s administration malfeasance after 2028? I am going to need a lot of popcorn. Yes, I do have a Costco membership.

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Dave Drell's avatar

And coffee is going thru roof thanks to tariffs on Brazil.

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Curt Andersen's avatar

I said, in this discussion, right after Trump was "elected," that the hallmark of all fascist governments is that they rapidly begin to start killing each other. Watch the news for further proof. Jeff got it just right.

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Teresa G's avatar

Jeff

Congratulations for your 1000 post.

I look forward to your version to what is happening.

It makes things a little less frightening with your humor added in to the mix

Thank you so much.

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Melanie's avatar

To be fair, the Republican Congress *is* garbage. The tiniest of violins are playing for their suffering, after they conspired and enabled the dismantling of the country and the cruelties unleashed by the administration. Roast in hell, Republicans.

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MountainBoyMike's avatar

congrats Jeff, that is one helluva run and I hope you are still enjoying doing this....I look forward to this part of my day EVERY day as you help keep me pointed towards "sane"....thank you for your journalistic efforts here, this is a fun community of people who need your kind of journalism with its "eloquence in profanity"....have an awesome fucking day!!

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