Saturday rewind: the Cult of Kyle — why the shittiest people in the world worship Rittenhouse
why the rabid fandom? it’s not that difficult to fathom why
note: the following piece was originally published on January 23, 2023. watching the bloodthirsty roars of right-wing approval being showered onto the psycho who choked Jordan Neely to death on the NYC subway got me thinking a lot about this essay.
back in January, our little substack community was much smaller than it is now. readership today is about eight times what it was back in then, so I’m reposting this as today’s Saturday Rewind in order to put it in front of that larger audience. have a great Saturday, everyone.
— jeff t.
I referenced gun-happy teenage murderer Kyle Rittenhouse a couple of times on the twitters this weekend …
… and the entire wingnut outrage-industrial complex lost their fucking shit. so much so that the UK Daily Mail devoted an entire full-page story to … me.
(the link is here, and please don’t miss the highly entertaining and completely unhinged comment section)
if you’ve ever posted to social media about Rittenhouse, you already know that Kyle stans are every bit as rabid and over the top as Trump worshipers and Elon fanboys. in fact the Venn diagram of these three groups is probably just one circle.
why the rabid fandom? it’s not that difficult to fathom why:
Kyle Rittenhouse did the one thing they dream about doing: Kyle Rittenhouse killed people and got away with it.
if you’ve ever hung out on the pro-gun forums at places like Reddit and Quora, you know that these trigger-happy dipshits have convinced themselves that mortal danger lurks around every corner and that they need to be draped in military-grade weaponry at all times to protect themselves from a threat that exists only within their fevered heads, and they literally salivate over the prospect of blowing away some [insert any handy ethnic slur here].
these bloodthirsty lunatics want so badly to pull the trigger they can taste it. and Kyle did the one thing they themselves want so badly to do. Kyle pointed a weapon at the enemy. and Kyle pulled the trigger. and Kyle got away with it.
I once lived next door to a guy who hoarded weapons. if he liked you, he would do anything for you. he was the nicest guy in the world, except for the part where he honestly believed that after the imminent collapse of civilization, roving gangs of The Blacks™ from New York City would be coming north to take all his stuff. he was convinced that this was going to happen any day now. and this was long before Fox News existed.
I haven’t seen Ed in at least 40 years, but if he’s still alive, I’m sure he’s still sitting on his front porch with his rifle in his lap, convinced tomorrow will be The Day All Hell Breaks Loose.
now add this to the mix: the right-wing media ecosystem has spent the last three decades convincing the soft-brains that people with whom they disagree aren’t just their political opponents, but their mortal enemies. mortal enemies who need to be dealt with. so for guys like Ed, it’s not just The Blacks™ any more. it’s anyone to the left of whatever the hell they believe.
this is the mindset that made a teenage boy to ask his mommy to drive him and his weapon across state lines.
and this is the mindset that made a teenage boy’s mommy think it was a super fucking awesome thing to do.
and this is the mindset that made a teenage murderer the hero of thousands, if not millions, for killing people he didn’t agree with, and getting away with it.
ugh.
Back in 1995 I was working as a Circuit Administrator in South Dakota - rural, God's country, etc. - and after the Oklahoma City Bombing all the usual guys were hanging out at the courthouse, talking about it. One of the "militia" types said that the government had it coming, and "War has been declared". When I asked what about the kids in the day care, etc., he looked at me and explained, very seriously, "War has been declared. There are no innocent victims."
Our "well-regulated militia" has been wanting to shoot United States citizens with impunity for almost 30 years. They can taste the blood.
I hope Rittenhouse turns up in a ditch with his little balls stuffed in his mouth.
But I will have to take solace in knowing that he will never have a job, nor will he be able to get the time of day from anyone once his fifteen minutes run out.