Republicans are now forced to carry George Santos to term

and Tommy Tuberville continues to be a sack of shit

last night, the 24/7 flim-flam factory who may or may not be named George Santos came this close to getting shitcanned from the House.

the House GOP — that ragtag gang of insurrectionists, religious zealots, homophobes, transphobes, racists, Nazis, white supremacists, misogynists, sex traffickers, rape enablers, conspiracy loons, trouser-snake charmers, space laser enthusiasts, shit-flingers and bomb-throwers — finally decided that having a lifelong thief and fraudster in their midst was a bridge too far, and held a vote to expel him.

Republicans had to resort to the rarely-brought expulsion vote because dog rescue aficionado and 23-count indictment-magnet Flim Flam George doesn’t have the decency to resign, as should any elected official facing an impending criminal trial (looking at you too, Bob Menendez).

but here’s the thing that I didn’t see coming: Democrats bailed Santos out. 31 Democrats voted against expulsion, and the measure was defeated 213 to 179.

Dems coming to George’s aid seems at first glance to be a big bowl of what the fuck — but if you think about it, it makes sense.

this is from the statement that Jamie Raskin released:

I’m a Constitution guy. The House has expelled five people in our history, three for joining the Confederacy as traitors to the Union and two after they were convicted of serious criminal offenses. Santos has not been criminally convicted yet of any of the offenses he has been indicted for that were cited in the Resolution nor has he been found guilty of ethics offenses in the House internal process.

This would be a terrible precedent to set, expelling people who have not been convicted of a crime and without internal due process. If and when Santos is convicted of these serious criminal offenses or ethics charges, I will certainly vote to expel him.

fair enough, Jamie.

but also, there’s this: Republicans are now forced to carry George Santos to term. he’s one more millstone around the GOP’s neck, and the Democrats can make him the poster boy for Republican lawlessness (him and that 91-count fuckface down in Florida).

meanwhile, Santos celebrated his win in the most narcissistic cringe way possible, posting this embarrassment to not-twitter:

so I guess that a lifetime of identity theft now includes imagining that you’re some kind of fucked up king.

you’re not a king, George, you’re a stain. and your trial is scheduled for September 9, 2024, just before the election — so that while your constituents are deciding who to vote for, they’ll be hearing all about your crimes, day in and day out.

good luck holding on to your job, dipshit, because news flash: your home district now hates your fucking guts.

By a margin of 78-13%, voters in New York’s 3rd Congressional District overwhelmingly say freshman Republican Representative George Santos should resign, including 89% of Democrats, 72% of independents and 71% of Republicans. His constituents view him unfavorably 83-7%, including 78% of Republicans who view Santos unfavorably, according to a new Newsday/Siena College poll of registered NY 3 voters released today.

enjoy the rest of your one term in office, George, because you’re sure as fuck not going to enjoy the legal hell that’s coming after it.

---

meanwhile, over in the Senate, failed football coach Tommy Tub-of-shit continues to block all military promotions, because abortion.

and now he’s not just harming our nation’s military readiness — he’s actively endangering the lives of our top brass.

Gen. Eric Smith, the Marine Corps’ top officer and a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, was hospitalized Sunday night after suffering what military officials said was a health emergency.

because of T-Tube’s ass-hattery, General Smith has been working two jobs at once since June, and it’s literally killing him.

Speaking at a conference days before last month’s confirmation vote, Smith described feeling exhausted by his daily work schedule, which at that time, he said, often began at 5 a.m. and did not conclude until 11:30 p.m. “It is not a sustainable thing,” the general told those in attendance, according to an account by the independent Marine Corps Times.

while the general recuperates, his second-in-command now has to do three jobs.

Marine officials said that, for now, Smith’s duties will be carried out by Lt. Gen. Karsten Heckl, a deputy commandant who oversees the service’s combat training and modernization initiatives.

grow the fuck up, Tommy. your pointless tantrum is benefiting nobody. even your own party is fed up with your relentless fuckery.

Showing obvious frustration and frequent flashes of anger, the Republican senators — Sullivan, Graham, Iowa Sen. Joni Ernst, Indiana Sen. Todd Young and others — read lengthy biographies and praised individual nominees as they called for vote after vote.

and now one of our Joint Chiefs is hospitalized in serious condition.

excellent work, Tommy. maybe Putin will name you Employee of the Month — again.