prosecutors to Donny: fuck straight off, we’re not dropping Eric Adams’ charges

meet your new heroes of justice

Danielle Sassoon is just about as conservative as they come. at the Supreme Court, she clerked for Antonin Scalia. she’s a member of the Federalist Society.

Team Donny took one look at that resume and high-fived. this is exactly who we need to fuck shit up in the Southern District of New York, they exclaimed — and so the day Donny Convict was inaugurated, she was named the new acting head of the U.S. attorney’s office in Manhattan.

given all that, it was a pretty safe bet to have assumed Sassoon would toe the line, and rubber-stamp Donny’s lawless agenda — but when Dear Leader ordered her to dismiss the charges against New York City’s shitbag mayor Eric Adams, she was all ‘chow down on every dick in the bag, bro. I fucking quit.’

Manhattan’s U.S. attorney on Thursday resigned rather than obey an order from a top Justice Department official to drop the corruption case against New York City’s mayor, Eric Adams.

it turns out she’s a patriot. her resignation letter is a big bowl of fuck you, I didn’t sign up for any of this.

Ms. Sassoon, in a remarkable letter addressed to Attorney General Pam Bondi, said that Mr. Bove’s order to dismiss the case was “inconsistent with my ability and duty to prosecute federal crimes without fear or favor and to advance good-faith arguments before the courts.”

“I have always considered it my obligation to pursue justice impartially, without favor to the wealthy or those who occupy important public office, or harsher treatment for the less powerful,” she said.

so, that makes one ketchup bottle splattered all over some White House wall, right?

no, wrong — because when Team Donny went up the chain of command, looking for someone willing to drop the charges, the next two people in line were also all fuck this, we’re out of here.

As soon as DOJ’s Public Integrity Section was informed it would be taking over Mayor Adams case, John Keller, the acting head of the unit and his boss, Kevin Driscoll, the senior most career official in DOJ’s criminal division resigned, according to multiple sources.

bear in mind, these weren’t Biden-era holdovers. these were Trump appointees who turned out to have heretofore-undetected spines.

imagine being such a loathsome piece of shit that your own hand-picked enforcers would rather quit than be a party to your blatant corruption. boo fucking hoo, Donny. here, let me serenade you with some tiny violin.

consider it a little music to hurl condiments to. eine kleine ketchupmusik.

by the end of the evening, there were six fresh ketchup stains being sponged off the Oval Office walls.

Several hours later, three other lawyers in the unit also resigned, according to people familiar with the developments.

we know how this will ultimately play out, because history these days does nothing but repeat itself.

back in the Watergate days, Dick Nixon finally got fed up with Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox’s relentless pursuit of justice, and went on his own firing spree that became known as the Saturday Night Massacre.

During a single evening on Saturday, October 20, Nixon ordered Attorney General Elliot Richardson to fire Archibald Cox; Richardson refused and resigned effective immediately. Nixon then ordered Deputy Attorney General William Ruckelshaus to fire Cox; Ruckelshaus refused, and also resigned. Nixon then ordered the third-most-senior official at the Justice Department, Solicitor General Robert Bork, to fire Cox. Bork carried out the dismissal as Nixon asked.

it only took Tricky Dick three tries before he found a willing lackey. Donny Convict has so far run through six underlings — but it’s only a matter of time until he finds his own personal Robert Bork. there’s always a shithead.

Eric Adams, of course, was indicted after getting his hand caught in the bribery jar.

As alleged, Mayor Adams abused his position as this City’s highest elected official, and before that as Brooklyn Borough President, to take bribes and solicit illegal campaign contributions.

right after Donny won the election, Adams started making regular pilgrimages down to Donny’s vermin-infested Florida golf motel, to slobber all over his ass — because birds of a corrupt-as-fuck feather flock together, you know how it is.

when Donny inevitably instructed his DOJ to shitcan the charges against Adams, everyone with a pulse knew that there had to be some quid-pro-quo shit going on under the table. and sure enough:

Mayor Eric Adams of New York City announced on Thursday that he would issue an executive order to allow federal immigration authorities into the Rikers Island jail complex, a significant shift in the city’s sanctuary policies.

up until about ten seconds ago, New York City was a ‘sanctuary city’ — meaning that local law enforcement was forbidden to cooperate with federal immigration goons.

yeah, well, that policy just went fuckity-bye — because Eric Adams’ need to stay out of prison outweighs some immigrant’s need to not disappear into Gitmo and never be heard from again. sorry, bro, better luck next life.

hey, speaking of Donny’s new policy of shipping “undesirables” to America’s own personal hellhole in Cuba, it turns out that the whole program has become one more nightmarish Trumpian clusterfuck — because, as always, Donny’s toadies are a bunch of amateur hour rejects and none of them have any clue what they’re doing.

Officials at the Department of Homeland Security and the Defense Department are racing to set up multiple tent facilities in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to house thousands of migrants, but the scattered efforts have prompted questions internally about who’s in charge and what will happen once people arrive on site.

“Nobody really knows what’s going on, between DOD, ICE, and CBP. We’ve got everybody pointing fingers, saying, ‘They’re in charge,’ ‘They’re paying for this,’ ‘They’re providing security.’ No one actually knows,” one source with knowledge of the planning said.”

is anyone surprised that Donny’s latest adventure in human rights abuses has turned into one more vigorous round of clownfucking? this is what happens when you hire people based on how shamelessly they flattered you on Fox News — as opposed to, you know, whether or not they have the skill set to do their job.

so now you’ve got military planes landing in Gitmo in the middle of the night, full of frightened, shackled migrants — and no one knows what the fuck they’re supposed to do with them. beautiful.

but let’s focus on what’s really important: at least our puppy-perforating Director of Homeland Security, Kristi Noem, is getting an opportunity to play dress-up and pretend she’s a helicopter pilot.

hey, do Kristi’s look at me, I’m a grown-up antics remind you of anyone else?

it’s not a presidential administration, it’s a fucking day care center full of spoiled, overprivileged children.

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here’s your daily reminder that I can be found on BlueSky at this link.

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this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.