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Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

today in Shit That Happened While I Was Busy Writing This Shit—

former Olympian David Hearn just pleaded 'not guilty' to Grand Theft Paint Chips

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/live/2026/jul/09/donald-trump-graham-platner-mitch-mcconnell-iran-midterms-latest-news-updates?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

how fast do you think this will be thrown out of court?

HI2thDoc's avatar
2hEdited

MAGA hitwoman Pirro

Noted drunk legal zero

Has managed to turn

Ex-Olympian Hearn

Into a resistance hero

Ann Anderson's avatar

Some of your best work.

PlasticFish's avatar

"Ex-Olympian Hearn" scans better.

HI2thDoc's avatar

I will edit. Thanks.

Richard's avatar

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Lady Emsworth's avatar

Well, at least he's still alive.

Some of the anti-ICE heroes aren't. . .

Although I'm sure trump would like to impose the death penalty for revealing what a scam the "renovation" was.

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

"Grand Theft Paint Chips".....the first laugh I've had today.

kathiallyson's avatar

Likewise. Really, what would any of us do without our Uncle Jeff?

Ann Anderson's avatar

His lawyer is Norm Eisen? He's in good hands.

Mike Hammer's avatar

Norm and Marc Elias are the gods of free and fair elections.

Paula Dean's avatar

And they have a steep mountain of work to do before the midterms. The War Against Voting is winning at the moment.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Actually, the war against voting is losing big time, except in the propaganda war of convincing people it's winning big time.

Paula Dean's avatar

I recommend reading today's post from George Polisner, Leadership Matters. In it he lays out the history, the fight, and where we stand right now.

Deb Pierce's avatar

Yes, they are, Mike, and I'm proud to support them both through subscriptions, as I support our dear Uncle Jeff. Those of us who are fortunate enough to be able to do that really need to do so.

Mr Mild - BlueVotingBastard💙's avatar

It’ll be thrown out faster than I can lob a Subway 6” Italian Sub at a ICE officer.

LORI  D's avatar

Faster than Pirro can get through a box of wine, which is fast.

michellefromchicago's avatar

Off topic, but I think every mainstream journalist in the United States needs to sit at the feet of that Danish reporter and learn how it is supposed to be done

Michael Schoonover's avatar

I'm a bit concerned that this made it past a grand jury. Seems like it never should have gotten to trial.

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

We've found that DOJ lawyers don't tell grand juries the whole truth.

Michael Schoonover's avatar

That must be the case.

SethTriggs's avatar

I bet someone lied to the grand jury!

HI2thDoc's avatar

They musta. How are they gonna prove he peeled the paint? Do they have video?

SethTriggs's avatar

Are they going to say he caused a 250-foot gash too?

And I would LOVE to see some video of some dork drawing a boxcutter along the liner and nobody even noticing.

Kathy hatcher's avatar

Since Texas courts actually sentenced protesters outside one of the ICE torture rape centres to hard time in jail - one up to 10 years I believe - I am beginning to worry especially as they actually got a grand jury indict him in the first place. I know different state etc buttttt the amurikan justice system is crumbling

Eva's avatar

Faster than Mamdani’s bus goals.

Kim Steeves's avatar

I do hope that it will be thrown out of court quickly, but do wonder if it will, because they have now charged three more with this "crime"!

SeekingReason's avatar

Mitch McConnell is dead or almost dead, trump is close to death but international and domestic crimes are allowed to be committed! Amazing and frightening at the same time.

The delusions run so deep in the Republican-Seditionist-Party that they think they are admired for their stupidity.

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

They'll declare him dead on or shortly after August 3rd.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

He's not dead, he's pining for the Antebellum Era.

Eileen's avatar

😆😆😆

Doc Blase''s avatar

Monty Python's parrot sketch. Pinin' for the fjords.

https://youtu.be/4vuW6tQ0218?t=2

Ginny Hall's avatar

Excellent! Love me a Python reference!

Sandy's avatar

Ok, that one had me laugh out loud so explosively, I sent my cat under the bed for shelter!

Bob Bowden's avatar

Maybe he just pretended to collapse for dramatic effect onto Lindsey Graham’s fainting couch

Lisa Bieber's avatar

So until then, would you say he's insincerely dead?

Lairbo's avatar

Until then, he should be referred to as Senator Mitch McConnell (R-Schrodinger).

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

I'm kind of confused about the benefit to the GOP of not having a special election, other than the cost. Maybe there's something I'm missing or maybe it IS the cost.

A. if Massie can't win his district, he can't win the state. So that idea is a fantasy, even if you do recognize that for the most part, Massie is just your typical Republican.

B. the field is already set for November to replace McConnell who isn't running for reelection. Why wouldn't those same two candidates (Andy Barr & Charles Booker) just enter the special election and have the benefit of year-long campaigns already behind them? All a special election would do is give one of them the benefit of incumbency. But if Barr won the special election, as is likely, he'd be in office early, an advantage for the Kentucky GOP.

So I'm confused here.

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I think because they're afraid a Democrat would win the election and create a "leadership vacuum" in the Senate. They have such a narrow margin now, they'll hold onto it until they are absolutely forced to give it up, and keeping McConnell "alive" and competent enough to hold a 20 minute phone conversation holds onto that seat.

They're probably going to lose it in November, but why give it up sooner rather than later?

DuduLovesBubu's avatar

Beshear needs to declare him dead then say here's my replacement. Try to stop me MAGA.

Susan Niemann's avatar

He’ll be really dead in 20 minutes. 😂

Mingo's avatar

I'm going to set a timer on that. That was the length of his conversation with Glitch Mitch. Every morning I wake up and scan the headlines hoping that Donnie's gone from the land of the living. Every morning my hopes are dashed.

Michelle Togut's avatar

Someday, in the not so distant future, it will be time to break out the champagne.

Lois Henry's avatar

I don’t drink and I’m older than Donnie and may have more stuff wrong with me (physically!), but even against those odds a little bottle of prosecco waits in my fridge - just in case. Ya never know.

Ginny Hall's avatar

I watched an interesting video about why he will probably live longer than we want. Basically said that really bad people with a lot of money live longer because good healthcare and no stress. No stress because they don't give a fuck about anything except themselves. It was convincing but depressing. We can only hope his frontotemporal dementia will override those benefits.

Mingo's avatar

All the money and 1st class health-care can't fix a failing heart or shrinking brain. He's circling the drain but I want the big flush now. McConnell is another story.

Victoria Wilson's avatar

It is my daily prayer!

Diana's avatar

I know Mingo- we do the same thing hoping it’s happened and then immediately say an F bomb‼️

Lizbeth Maher's avatar

…really most sincerely dead!

David M Marko's avatar

He's an ex Mitch. He's run down the curtain and joined the choir invisible.

Joe Witkowski's avatar

In 2 weeks according to Orange Hitler

Cheri Collins's avatar

Delusions, or orchestrated sleight of hands to continue to bedazzle the hoi polloi magat mainstream? The millionaire/billionaire class know all of this is bullshit that keeps their money growing. It’s always about the money, and nothing else.

mary's avatar

My money's on Gov. Beshear making a move if there's no response from Yertle's office to his letter.

kdsherpa's avatar

Fingers crossed!!

SethTriggs's avatar

McConnell is an ex-turtle!

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Rigor Tortoise, someone called it.

SethTriggs's avatar

I ugly laughed.

michellefromchicago's avatar

Pining for the fjords!

LORI  D's avatar

Nah. They just don't give a shit. They hate us all.

DJ Headthrob's avatar

That's 20 minutes of their lives they won't be getting back anytime soon.

Susan Niemann's avatar

“Jefferson Davis a stupid poopy head”😂😂. Nothing is left to do but laugh because you just can’t make this up.

Japan? What was he thinking?

Haughty Soybean Scott…I’d love one chance to smack that smirk off his face. A reprehensible man. 🙄

Claudia grabbed a shot of you that time! Such a pretty lady! Thank you for sharing these!

Karen Yaholnitsky's avatar

the stupid poopy head made me laugh out loud.

Susan Niemann's avatar

Oh right. Silly me. 🤣

Mary Fedoroff's avatar

Iran? Sounds like….(let me think)….Japan?? Mmmmm, no. Sorry

Kim Steeves's avatar

Both end in AN!

Robert Eckert's avatar

Loserson Dumbvis

User's avatar
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2h
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Susan Niemann's avatar

Well duh!🤷‍♀️

HI2thDoc's avatar

No harm, no foul.

Susan Niemann's avatar

Fixed… I haven’t had enough coffee yet!

Ann Anderson's avatar

Commies and Japan? Isn't it weird watching what's left of Donny's brain revert to the mid-20th century - Red scare and yellow peril. Republicans are the only ones still pretending that Fuckwit has a functioning prefrontal cortex.

Irascible Ink's avatar

If that was a Biden gaffe it would be in giant-ass font taking up the entire area above the fold in every newspaper in the country.

I'm so sick of this shit.🫩

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Exactly. And it would go on for weeks while they demanded he resign.

Jan Moon's avatar

After the NATO mess yesterday I am convinced that US Republicans are not the only ones giving Prez Shitforbrains a free pas every time he spews brimstone out of his face. Several attendees also just overlooked his hogwash. It seems to be pretty universal; the world is sane-washing him and that's the scary part.

Kate's avatar

Yup, and I am fucking tired of these “leaders” giving him a pass.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

I don't believe that's what they're doing. With the possible exception of Rutte they seem to be merely humoring him then moving ahead without him. Under Trump the US is no longer the "indispensible nation."

Kate's avatar

All the boomer boogeymen, coming home to roost…

Polly Sears's avatar

I am a Boomer and I don't like/approve of T and his regime.

Kate's avatar

Never said you did!

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

Pre-boomer. We were too little to remember any of this. My mom would've though.

Kate's avatar

This went well into the 50’s and 60’s…and let’s not forget the shit gen x went through with the “commies” and the cold war. A lot of gen x are WORSE than boomers too!

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

The "Yellow Peril"? No, it did not. None of us knew anything about this. Sure, we studied Pearl Harbor in school but demonizing Chicago's big population of Japanese was not on the radar. And the "red scare" was effectively over by 1960.

Daniel M Kimmel's avatar

No, the blacklisting may have ended but the Red Scare very much went on. I remember getting a Scholastic book in sixth grade around '66-'67 warning about the perils of Communism.

Kate's avatar

Thank you Daniel—and I was born in the late 60’s—“commies” were VERY MUCH still a thing, does no one remember the Reagan years here? “Red Dawn,” anyone??

Jayme Wolworth's avatar

This is the stage of dementia when he can no longer control his impulses and says anything that he's thinking. He didn't even catch the fact that he said Japan instead of Iran. He calls other nations scum, sick, vicious, violent and cuckoo as if it's acceptable for a leader to say these things at an international forum. He's the one that's scum, sick, vicious, violent and cuckoo and we all know it. And the rest of the world does too.

8647 while we still have a country

#Where'sMitch

Susan Slesnick's avatar

Just like leaving Mitch on life support the Republicans are using the orange asshat to become zillionaires. It’s going to be a long fall for these assholes and I can’t wait to see them all hit rock bottom.

A girl can dream 😆

Diana's avatar

I’m with you Susan- can’t wait ‼️

barb's avatar

That a president can get away with saying these things is outrageous and mind boggling. Of course it's all projection! The 64,000 dollar question as always is why he isn't being called out by the media for saying these things and how can his corrupt party think this is OK and continue to enable him???

HI2thDoc's avatar

"We had one hundred and eleven missiles shot by the Islamic Republic of Japan. I went there one time but I hate taking off my, I have great shoes, everyone tells me, those are great, sir. So they fired these and then they said, well now we want to make a deal. Please sir, we ate too much raw fish, which they're crazy, why would anyone eat that? . . . "

Anastasia Pantsios's avatar

It's the Maneki-neko Republic of Japan. Everyone knows that.

HI2thDoc's avatar

"an amoral shit-kazoo, unconstrained by the bounds of decency, with unlimited power and an obsession with grievances and score-settling" should be his epitaph. Good job, Jeff

Dave Drell's avatar

Another epitaph: Finally!!!

Leslie Turek's avatar

What a lovely lady your Claudia was.

SeekingReason's avatar

The Olympian-with-hand-in-reflecting pool-crime will be thrown out after the accused is bled dry of money and taken through emotional hell all for the entertainment of psychopathic fucktards in our White House!

Cyndi's avatar

Proud to say I can and do financially support Eisen's pro bono legal organization, which is defending Mr. Hearn in this DOJ travesty.

Sandy's avatar
2hEdited

Thank you, Cyndi 👍

barb's avatar

There was a gofundme taken up for him which so hopefully that will defray a good part of his expenses. Nevertheless the frivolity and expense of these suits is staggering.

HI2thDoc's avatar

The reason for Pirro to try

And blame some other guy

Is just to connive

From Donnie's dumb drive

Before the paint was dry

Kay-El's avatar

Number of days Trump isn’t a fucking embarrassment will never be higher than zero.

Diana's avatar

Scary but TRUE ‼️

HI2thDoc's avatar

It's fun to see the radical right's worst nightmare coming true as Mayor Mamdani actually improves people's lives, thereby starkly illustrating how rethuglican propaganda is just rage bait and actually harms anyone below the Epstein class.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

I'm loving it. He's just amazing.

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

"Trump’s power comes from his willingness to violate all the norms, rules, and laws about how American presidents are supposed to act — to do anything that helps him accumulate more wealth, power, and glory, and wreak vengeance on anyone who has tried to get in the way."

No. That's not where he gets his power; he gets it from the Supreme Court Corrupt Six and Congressional Republicans who refused, and still refuse, to stop him. Like everything else in that miserable f'er's life, he's been GIVEN it.

Jeff Tiedrich's avatar

point taken, but you should read Robert Reich's post. he makes his case

Norma's avatar

I’ve said basically the same thing all along. He’s the kind of person that the project 2025 fuckfaces wanted. Someone who’s willing to break the law and the rules and somehow get away with it 🤦‍♀️. But my god a performance for the ages at the NATO summit 🤦‍♀️

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

I will because you suggested it, but I don't see how we can blame Trump for being who we've known for decades, without including the fact that McConnell lobbied Congress twice to acquit, and for the John Roberts court's decision to bar anyone from prosecuting a sitting POTUS for crimes committed while in office, and the current House Republicans for completely abdicating their power to Trump.

That's going to be a hard sell - even for Reich.

Leigh Hamilton's avatar

Just read Reich's piece. He's eloquent as always. But Johan, a commenter on Reich's post, made this point about a thief with no barriers or "locks"

"The first-mover advantage only pays out if the community declines to punish, the thief’s edge vanishes the moment doors get locked...The problem was never the thief. It was the town that decided locks were rude."

If the majority of the American population could lock their doors, we would. We voted to give the locks to representative government that has failed the people, the rule of law, and the Constitution. Those were our locks.

Tess's avatar

If you haven’t watched Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Unhappiness with Larry David……on HBO the second episode is HILARIOUS…all about trump in last clip…..and so true!!!

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

It was so poignant seeing Rob Reiner in the final role of his life playing George Washington in that episode. It was a classic.

devourerofpancakes's avatar

Thanks, Hamilton. You are 100% correct. None of this has to happen. Not one single shitty-ass thing that Trump has done was inevitable. We need to hang Trump on the GOP forever and ever.

Tess's avatar

Great summary of the “fuckfaces of the shitpocalypse!” Love the Claudia photos…and yours as well!!!

serenity's avatar

I vacillate between wanting to laugh, cry and scream at just how insane all of this is. The fact that a third of the voting public thought this was a grand idea and still do because somehow tearing the world into shreds owns the libs is frightening. The majority is being ruled (not governed) by an insane minority. I really hope that we can get rid of the electoral college. I would love a society where manners and decorum matter. One in which stupidity and cruelty aren't flexes.

Seeing the four stooges of the apocalypse standing there thinking they're all that. Perfect description of soybean scott.

Love the Danish reporter's question. Spot on.

Doreen Dalesandro's avatar

I'm with you 100%, serenity🎯 Especially regarding the electoral college🤓🖖

Ginny Hall's avatar

If the Danish reporter were American, he might have qualified for the Lifetime Pulitzer.

serenity's avatar

I was thinking that.

Brad Yazell's avatar

Beshear should go ahead and declare a special election for Turtle's Senate seat. Who's going to stop him?

DJ Headthrob's avatar

Exactly. Just like the bulldozing of the East Wing. Act first and apologize never.

barb's avatar

As if just writing a letter is going to get a response.

Sharon Hudnall's avatar

Ask Chuck Schumer.

Michelle Togut's avatar

"this is the guy who quite famously said he could have negotiated an end to the Civil War. how? by calling Jefferson Davis a stupid poopy-head?"

Who are we kidding? trump would be negotiating for the Confederacy.

Rick Wilson had a somewhat different take on the Europeans behavior at the NATO summit, arguing that they treated him like the drunken conspiracist uncle at Thanksgiving. Nod along and humor him because arguing is pointless, while any substantive discussions occur on the side away from his presence. The Euros are moving on without us.

Dave Drell's avatar

Our National Embarrassment

Susie's avatar

I like that idea much more than any other. Drunk uncle is a good metaphor for The Donvict.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

It seems we are in a version of the Twilight Zone, that one episode where a young boy about 12 or 13 has the power of physical retribution for anyone contradicting his behavior..so they walk around on their toes agreeing to everything he says… we have arrived in “another dimension”…

Dave Drell's avatar

Fredo - I think we arrived at another dimension when he came down the escalator 11 years ago and dumb ass Ahmerikans thought he was

“the answer”.

HI2thDoc's avatar

The episode is titled "It's a Good Life" and was also in the Twilight Zone movie

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Thanks Doc.. merely reading about Donald yesterday triggered this memory.. Life imitating life? Or the reverse? I’m getting too old for the Crazy every single day..

HI2thDoc's avatar

The metaphor between the episode you cited (MAGAts would say "sighted") is on target. I empathize with Mark Rutte and the rest of the free world leaders, who have to walk that tightrope with him because he is the most incendiary combination of ignorant, egotistical, volatile, vindictive, shallow, and avaricious that has ever been in a national leader. He makes Idi Amin look capable and palatable by comparison. So Rutte and the other NATO nations have to swallow his bullshit and try to mollify him. The world's dictators, meanwhile, just bribe him or blackmail him. I would not be surprised at all if the as of now semi-mythical Russian hooker pee tape exists.

Diana's avatar

Yes, I totally agree with you Fastball Fredo- stress level is up to the omg level!

Dana Jae Labrecque's avatar

┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)―→ Exactly that episode FF. You are spot on.

Fastball Fredo's avatar

Sorry it should read life imitating art or the reverse🫨